Maggie’s Why wait til bedtime?

Pics?

IM laughing because my Son did the exact same thing to me for a 1st grade project. I remember just smiling, and getting a shirt out. Those are good days!!!

Kids, you gotta luv them even when you want to ring their necks.

Probably pay back for something you did to your parents 25 years ago.

2ndamendfan said:

Probably pay back for something you did to your parents 25 years ago.

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You know that’s right!

IowaPlinker said:

Real conversation. 2 minutes ago.
Daughter. Um, dad? I am supposed to have a new white shirt for school tomorrow because we are doing a tie die art project in the morning so do you have a white shirt in size small or does mom? And I am supposed to practice knotting it up with these rubber bands.
Me. Why on earth would you wait until bedtime to tell me any of this?
Her. Well, I thought tomorrow morning would be too late?

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Been there, done that.
I don't know how....but your daughter and mine must be twins.

You are looking at it all wrong! The way I see it, you were gifted a scenario where you can pretty easily be superhero dad to the last-minute rescue!

She may not even realize it now, but one day she’ll look back at all the times, big or small, that you just magically made things happen.

You’re her awesome dad, and what’s cooler than being able to be that once in a while?

Plus, you get to bring it up and razz her about things like this foreverrrrrrr

Did you tell her that there were no small white shirts in the house to be used for making tie-dye because “we’re not a bunch of dirty hippies”?

My boys love to pull that about 5 minutes before bed. Drives me nuts.

late night run to walmart . get used to it they never grow out of it. i have a 20 year old daughter

Did you buy that in Colorado?
They give em away with an ounce purchase I hear.......

eddie102870 said:

late night run to walmart . get used to it they never grow out of it. i have a 20 year old daughter

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If you constantly swoop in to the rescue they will constantly ask to be rescued.
Just saying.

flyer said:

Pics?

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Are you asking for pics of his daughter or his shirt?

Just joking around in Maggie's Drawers.

My 8yr old did something like that last night. I'm at the sink drinking my shake and I see him walk past in the reflection off the window... barely saying, mom...mom. Wife says, why are you outta bed? Son says, my stomach hurts. Wife says, are you gonna throw up? Son says... yes. Blaaaaaaagghhhh... all over the kitchen floor. I lose my shit a little and say... WHY DIDN'T YOU GO TO THE TOILET IF YOU FELT LIKE THROWING UP!? Son says, I don't know. Blaaaaaaagghhhh...... blaaaaaaagghhhh! The wife and I get pissy with each other and just stop, to avoid having a fight over a kid throwing up. Fuck! Just go to the toilet.

Sorry, don't mean to thread Jack but need to let off the steam still. ?... ?

Pics?

--BLACKOUT-- said:

My 8yr old did something like that last night. I'm at the sink drinking my shake and I see him walk past in the reflection off the window... barely saying, mom...mom. Wife says, why are you outta bed? Son says, my stomach hurts. Wife says, are you gonna throw up? Son says... yes. Blaaaaaaagghhhh... all over the kitchen floor. I lose my shit a little and say... WHY DIDN'T YOU GO TO THE TOILET IF YOU FELT LIKE THROWING UP!? Son says, I don't know. Blaaaaaaagghhhh...... blaaaaaaagghhhh! The wife and I get pissy with each other and just stop, to avoid having a fight over a kid throwing up. Fuck! Just go to the toilet.

Sorry, don't mean to thread Jack but need to let off the steam still. ?... ?

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This will be funny at some point in the future.
Actually, I'm kinda finding it funny right now.

Once had my son at a playground, he was about 4 or 5 at the time. He climbed the ladder for the slide, stopped at the top and had this weird look on his face, then he puked all down the slide. Next thing I know there's a couple helicopter moms telling me I better clean that up so their kids can use the slide. funny now, not funny then.

Oh crap, I.m LMAO. How many times have I had that conversation.

My youngest daughter (now 21yrs old) was in the bouncy castle at the mall of America when she was about 3yrs old.
Before we went in the mall we shared a king sized Hershey bar and some Coke. Yeah, I'm that dad.
About 30 minutes after munching on the snack she gets into the castle and starts jumping around.
Five minutes later, she comes out all covered in stinky brown goo. I asked her what happened and she said she threw up.
When I asked her if she felt sick before tossing her cookies she said yes.
I tried explaining to her that she should have told me and we could have gone to the bathroom. She said, "I didn't want to come out daddy, we would have had to leave"...
We left anyway because she smelled like hell warmed over.

I asked her the next day after her Shriners appointment if she wanted to go back and she jokingly said "No thanks, somebody puked in there".

Rick H. said:

This will be funny at some point in the future.
Actually, I'm kinda finding it funny right now.

Once had my son at a playground, he was about 4 or 5 at the time. He climbed the ladder for the slide, stopped at the top and had this weird look on his face, then he puked all down the slide. Next thing I know there's a couple helicopter moms telling me I better clean that up so their kids can use the slide. funny now, not funny then.

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It was funny when I got home from work. I even apologized to my boy for blowing up on him about it. Shit happens... the thing about it was that I was standing about 4 feet away from him, bare foot, and it splashed on me.? Also, it was a lot of puke to clean up before bed but at least I hadn't showered yet. I did reemphasize that if it happens again, go to he toilet and then call for mom!

Yeah mine always pukes in the bed, gets out of bed walks all the way across the house tracking that shit the whole way to tell his mom I feel sick?

When my daughter was in first grade the teacher told her to flush ice cubes down the toilet before bed if you want to have a snow day. For some reason she thought the teacher told her to put them in the tank. She put the ice cubes in and when she tried to put the lid back on it slipped breaking the tank, water everywhere. Nothing like going to home depot at 930pm trying to find a match to a tank. Of course they change designs every few years and i am replacing the whole toilet. Arent kids fun?

also young kid story. My son when he was about 7 was sitting in the front room with my headphones on nodding back and forth, they weren't plugged into anything. I asked him what he was doing, his reply....' with these on I can hear people in another universe, like California'. I replied 'son you don't know how right you are'.

Rich

As long as we are doing kid stories, got married a second time pretty late in life. Wife comes home & says, Adria needs braces. Her father did not take real good care of her. I asked, how much? Wife says, it will be 10k as her teeth are in rough shape. I looked at Adria, looked at my first year Fat Boy (Harley), looked at Adria again, sold the Fat Boy. That was 20 years ago but I always say to Adria, smile please so I can see my old Fat Boy. But, the teeth are now perfect.

Maxwell

Long ago when my son was a baby I was pitching him up in the air and catching him. He was cackling that little baby laugh. I started laughing too. At the top of the next throw he puked and it went right into my laughing mouth. Baby formula and bile is not an award winning recipe. Took every bit of focus I had to catch him and put him down before I puked my own guts out.

quietmike said:

Long ago when my son was a baby I was pitching him up in the air and catching him. He was cackling that little baby laugh. I started laughing too. At the top of the next throw he puked and it went right into my laughing mouth. Baby formula and bile is not an award winning recipe. Took every bit of focus I had to catch him and put him down before I puked my own guts out.

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quietmike said:

Long ago when my son was a baby I was pitching him up in the air and catching him. He was cackling that little baby laugh. I started laughing too. At the top of the next throw he puked and it went right into my laughing mouth. Baby formula and bile is not an award winning recipe. Took every bit of focus I had to catch him and put him down before I puked my own guts out.

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You're not a parent 'til you've been pissed on, crapped on and puked IN.

the way kids are magical, One time my wife was cutting her toe nails and a little blood came out and my daughter saw it and was like 'Mom look your toe is leaking'

That actually came out pretty cool.

My oldest son who is now 42 was in second or third grade and walking home from school and came across a female teacher who was trying to change a flat tire on her car.
I am a mechanic and my son had hung out in the shop with me a lot so kind of knew how simple things like that were done.
The fact that she had a flat and a second or third grader trying to tell her how it was done kind of set the stage.

She got the bumper jack out and was jacking it up and my Son told her,"You need to put it in gear, set the parking brake and block a front wheel, pop the hubcap and break the lugs loose and get the spare tire out before you jack it up. Here, these rocks will do."
She told him, "Get out of here, I can do this myself."
His reply was,"I don't think so and I want to watch." so he stayed there.
She jacked it up and got the hubcap off and tried to break the lugs loose only to let it back down and then break the lugs loose then jack it back up again and remove the wheel and tire.
She then tried to get in the trunk to get the spare out and the old bumper jack had the car up quite high. As she leaned on it getting in the trunk to get the spare out the car rolled forward, the jack flew out and the car fell to the ground.

She was just beside herself, frustrated and crying, when my Son came to the rescue with,"You stupid cunts don't learn too fast do you? and now you broke the brake drum." and walked on home.

The next morning I got a call out at the shop from my Old Lady telling me we had to go to the principal's office as my Son was in trouble for something and had to apologize for something. I had no clue as he hadn't told me anything about it.

Away I went in my shop truck and listened to the story from both sides with the Principal, the teacher and my Son.
I had my son apologize for calling her a cunt but told her, "You should have listened to him as he obviously knew more about the situation than you did. End of discussion." and I went back to work.

Damn, I was proud of that boy but don't know where he learned such language. I think his Momma taught him that shit. FM

Foul Mike said:

My oldest son who is now 42 was in second or third grade and walking home from school and came across a female teacher who was trying to change a flat tire on her car.
I am a mechanic and my son had hung out in the shop with me a lot so kind of knew how simple things like that were done.
The fact that she had a flat and a second or third grader trying to tell her how it was done kind of set the stage.

She got the bumper jack out and was jacking it up and my Son told her,"You need to put it in gear, set the parking brake and block a front wheel, pop the hubcap and break the lugs loose and get the spare tire out before you jack it up. Here, these rocks will do."
She told him, "Get out of here, I can do this myself."
His reply was,"I don't think so and I want to watch." so he stayed there.
She jacked it up and got the hubcap off and tried to break the lugs loose only to let it back down and then break the lugs loose then jack it back up again and remove the wheel and tire.
She then tried to get in the trunk to get the spare out and the old bumper jack had the car up quite high. As she leaned on it getting in the trunk to get the spare out the car rolled forward, the jack flew out and the car fell to the ground.

She was just beside herself, frustrated and crying, when my Son came to the rescue with,"You stupid cunts don't learn too fast do you? and now you broke the brake drum." and walked on home.

The next morning I got a call out at the shop from my Old Lady telling me we had to go to the principal's office as my Son was in trouble for something and had to apologize for something. I had no clue as he hadn't told me anything about it.

Away I went in my shop truck and listened to the story from both sides with the Principal, the teacher and my Son.
I had my son apologize for calling her a cunt but told her, "You should have listened to him as he obviously knew more about the situation than you did. End of discussion." and I went back to work.

Damn, I was proud of that boy but don't know where he learned such language. I think his Momma taught him that shit. FM

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Visited Walmart at midnight several times to get stuff for someone’s school project due the next day.
Venting about kids puking...Daughter was a bed puker. Son was a panic puker...ran around puking until everything was out. Neither ever got much puke in the toilet.

I had another incident with my daughter years ago. She was about 3 years old at the time. 40 now.
She didn't sleep well at night but did tend to sleep in the mornings so My Squaw would get the oldest boy off to school, 1st. grade, I would head to the shop, Squaw would close the door to daughters room and hit the shower while all was quiet.

I got a call at the shop from the Police Dept. that the female Sgt. needed to meet me over by my house.
I thought, "What the fuck now?" but got in the shop truck and headed out to meet her hoping nothing too bad was wrong.

Turned out that my daughter had a scheme in mind and was all prepared with a pencil and 1 piece of paper and an apple for lunch and as soon as she heard the shower come on she slipped out and closed her door and walked the 3 short blocks to the school.
She wanted to do what the "big" kids do, entered the front door of the school and proud as punch let it be known she was there for school, "Where is it?"

They asked her her name and she told them," Amy, and my brother is Dave and where do I go for school?"
They called the Cops and, small town Eastern Colorado, the Sgt. picked her up and took her home where I met her.

We took Amy into the house where the Old Lady was finishing her ablutions and asked the Squaw where Amy was?

"Shes in bed sleeping."
Wrong again Hiawatha, she's fresh out of school. Mom was instantly pissed but did learn to never assume Amy was asleep.

Everything happened in a span of about 15 minutes or less and all was well.

Probably wouldn't happen that way in this day and age.

That female Sgt. was the best Cop this town ever had and should have been the Chief of Police but would never accept the promotion, she liked to work the streets and didn't want the hassles of the higher office.

Amy's only comment through the whole ordeal was,"Daddy, they didn't even let me eat my apple with the other kids."

Those were the good days, gone but not forgotten. Now I am a curmudgeon and know where my gray hair came from.

Count your blessings with these thing your kids do and cherish them for they will be gone in the twinkle of the eye. FM

Foul Mike said:

My oldest son who is now 42 was in second or third grade and walking home from school and came across a female teacher who was trying to change a flat tire on her car.
I am a mechanic and my son had hung out in the shop with me a lot so kind of knew how simple things like that were done.
The fact that she had a flat and a second or third grader trying to tell her how it was done kind of set the stage.

She got the bumper jack out and was jacking it up and my Son told her,"You need to put it in gear, set the parking brake and block a front wheel, pop the hubcap and break the lugs loose and get the spare tire out before you jack it up. Here, these rocks will do."
She told him, "Get out of here, I can do this myself."
His reply was,"I don't think so and I want to watch." so he stayed there.
She jacked it up and got the hubcap off and tried to break the lugs loose only to let it back down and then break the lugs loose then jack it back up again and remove the wheel and tire.
She then tried to get in the trunk to get the spare out and the old bumper jack had the car up quite high. As she leaned on it getting in the trunk to get the spare out the car rolled forward, the jack flew out and the car fell to the ground.

She was just beside herself, frustrated and crying, when my Son came to the rescue with,"You stupid cunts don't learn too fast do you? and now you broke the brake drum." and walked on home.

The next morning I got a call out at the shop from my Old Lady telling me we had to go to the principal's office as my Son was in trouble for something and had to apologize for something. I had no clue as he hadn't told me anything about it.

Away I went in my shop truck and listened to the story from both sides with the Principal, the teacher and my Son.
I had my son apologize for calling her a cunt but told her, "You should have listened to him as he obviously knew more about the situation than you did. End of discussion." and I went back to work.

Damn, I was proud of that boy but don't know where he learned such language. I think his Momma taught him that shit. FM

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Foul jr!????