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Doctor Cartmann on Gun Guys

EricCartmann

Hobbyist among Operators
Full Member
Minuteman
Feb 21, 2010
1,901
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Mom's Basement
Being a part of Gun Forums on and off for about 10 years now. Cartmann believes he is now half way complete on his evaluation of trying to figure out the Psych of the Typical Gun Guy.

Keep in mind Cartmann is not a real Psychologist, he only plays one on the Internet.

Here is what Cartmann has for his notes so far, please feel free to add your 2 cents.
---------------------------------
Cartmann The Hobbyist Psychologist on figuring out the psych of Gun Guys:


1) Gun Guy Self Image:
In General, the typical gun guy see's himself as an all round cool guy, ladies man, and a warrior. If you disagree with a cool guy such as him, there must be something wrong with you.


2) Difference does not exist:
Gun Guys believes that "Different" does not exist, only right and wrong exists. Gun Guys in general have a hard time seeing things as DIFFERENT. They only see right and wrong. They are right and you are wrong. They really hate it when your view of the world conflicts with their view of the world.


3) How Gun Guys handle a Difference of Opinions:
Gun Guys take a disagreement as a personal insult, so in turn they feel giving a personal attack back is warranted and for them this is the only way to argue a disagreement. Forget about arguing the points, just personally attack the other guy and his integrity and this will prove the point.


4) Your Service Record makes you more "right":
when getting in a discussion of difference on any subject, a gun guy will tell everyone what he did in the Military (even if it has no bearing on the subject). Even if say it was a math problem, the gun guy does not even have to crunch the numbers, all he has to do is mention his service record, and math problem solved!


5) Gun Guys are always the victim:
Gun guys always see's themselves as the victim and not the attacker. Go on any thread for instance, you will find a person having no problems handing out personal attacks, but when someone attacks back, they will put their hands in the air and cry "foul" and then explain: "look how I am being victimized?". This to be followed by reports to the Moderators.


6) Gun Guys have a Herd Leader that they depend on:
Most gun guys belong to a herd; and when there is a conflict of views, they depend on their herd leader to join in and participate in the debate. When the herd leader can't debate, he then will personally attack you and inform God (aka Forum Moderators) to ban you. When a Herd leader looks in the mirror he sees a Warrior and a leader... so you better not debate with him. Just say "Yes Sir" and drive on.


7) "Hall Monitors" and "Peace Makers":
There are some Gun Guys that do not like to see any kind of discussion of difference. So in turn, they feel it is their duty to be a "Peace Maker" and they designate themselves as "Hall Monitors". These Hall Monitors really have nothing useful to add to the thread. They just feel the best way to resolve conflict itself is to insult all those that are arguing. They do not like to see a discussion of differences and they feel like hugs and kisses will resolve all differences. Hall Monitors are the Prom King types, the guy who needs your vote to be prom king. He wants to be loved by all, and by him playing Hall Monitor and getting 2 people with differences to hug and kiss, he feels he actually resolved the differences. Also he feels he maintains his status of "Mr Popular" and is loved by all by doing this.


8 ) Gun guys and their friends:
If a gun guy knows a Navy SEAL, he himself becomes a Navy SEAL. Gun guys go out of their way to be a friends with Navy SEALs, SF, Recon, and other Operators because by their logic, if they associate with bad-asses, they themselves become a bad-ass. Forget about PT, or how they weigh 350 lbs and can't even do one pullup, if they even had one discussion with a Navy SEAL, they in turn "become" a Navy SEAL.


9) Murphy's Law:
This is a gun guy's favorite law. Gun guys love to use Murphy's Law as a rule of thumb to prove a point. Even if there is only a one chance in a million it can happen, in their minds, it will happen! If you try to bring rationality or your own "Murphy's Law" that has a higher probability of occurring, they will ignore you because according to them, they own the rights to the Murphy's Law Bible.


10) A Gun Guy's Gear:
Pull any gun guy at random and he will tell you he always has the best gear, and every part of his gear is a necessity for survival. When he evaluates your gear, he will comment the following:
- It's cheap crap made in China (even though some of his is).
- You bought unnecessary features that are not needed (remember, all the features his gear has to offer is much needed).
- His gear has been tested by the Navy-Delta-Recon-Green-Beret-Wearing-SEALs while yours has not (because that's what the marketing brochures say).
- The only reason your inferior gear is still good to go is because you don't work your gear as hard as he does.
- The reason he needs the best is because of Murphy's Law
- He will show you a chart made by Einstein on the features his gear has, and why it's better than your gear.


11) Gun guys never "USE" their gear, they "RUN" it!


12) Gun guys have this "if it's true for one, it must be true for all" If they ever owned a model of firearm that was "bombproof" or "just plain ran" then all other models made by that company is equally superior. If you have a problem with that gear, your training is obviously lacking. On the flip side, if there is something wrong with his particular gun from said company, then every gun from that company is junk.


13) Fashion matters:
The fashion models for gun products are usually some Navy SEAL, or at the very least, someone dressed up like a real Navy SEAL for the marketing brochure. Gun guys are fashion queens (only they do not know it), they tend to buy whatever is in style. Right now 1:7 just happens to be in style. Actually it's been in style since it is listed on "The Chart".


14) Tools not toys:
To a gun guy, a gun is a tool and not a toy. Even if guns to you are just used for fun, never call them toys! Since a gun is a tool, you can use it to build Hoover Dam, the Wynn Casino, and even the Death Star.
 
Re: Doctor Cartmann on Gun Guys

In before the storm.
laugh.gif
 
Re: Doctor Cartmann on Gun Guys

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: EricCartmann</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
4) Your Service Record makes you more "right":
when getting in a discussion of difference on any subject, a gun guy will tell everyone what he did in the Military (even if it has no bearing on the subject). </div></div>

^^That's bullshit and I know bullshit when I see it because I was in the Navy.
 
Re: Doctor Cartmann on Gun Guys

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Graham</div><div class="ubbcode-body">In before the storm.
laugh.gif
</div></div>

... too late.
 
Re: Doctor Cartmann on Gun Guys

And I thought this was going to be a boring day.
 
Re: Doctor Cartmann on Gun Guys

Not pointing fingers! How do you guys know this is not a SELF EVALUATION on myself?
laugh.gif
 
Re: Doctor Cartmann on Gun Guys

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: High Binder</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: EricCartmann</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
4) Your Service Record makes you more "right":
when getting in a discussion of difference on any subject, a gun guy will tell everyone what he did in the Military (even if it has no bearing on the subject). </div></div>

^^That's bullshit and I know bullshit when I see it because I was in the Navy. </div></div>

LOL

To clarify: In any discussion on gun forums, eventually your service record will come into play, and if your service record is not up to par, that makes you automatically wrong.
 
Re: Doctor Cartmann on Gun Guys

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: EricCartmann</div><div class="ubbcode-body">5) Gun Guys are always the victim:</div></div>
This surely can't be true. Gun guys possess firearms to avoid being the victim.. Pvt Murphy taught every veteran this much, duh.
^^sarcasm^^
 
Re: Doctor Cartmann on Gun Guys

Some of this stuff would be funny if it weren't so true.
 
Re: Doctor Cartmann on Gun Guys

You may not be a pyschologist, EC, but your PsychFu is formidable.

Maggot the GunGuy
 
Re: Doctor Cartmann on Gun Guys

this sucks ass...

I just found out I am NOT a gun guy, always thought I was...

on a positive note, I do share their awesome self image
 
Re: Doctor Cartmann on Gun Guys

As an all around cool guy to hang out with, when the ladies aren't busting down the door (no warrant, no entry!), and fancying myself a bit of a warrior, I don't see the difference this thread makes. If you don't agree, you can stuff it. I didn't watch my buddies go through the sadness of getting off patrol after BK closed so you could talk shit!

I'm sure anyone disagreeing with me on this will, in essence, be looking for a fight. What did I ever do to you, asshole?

I'm sure Tucson Dave will back me up on this ( and he makes some mean carne asada... well, he said so, and I was too hungry to disagree-- jk TD!)

But there's no reason to let this thread get out of hand, and at the end of the day we need to have each other's backs (well, maybe sides, since DADT was repealed).

Also, I just picked up an amazing rubber-band gun. Aim for the eye (bad dudes rarely wear eyepro, yo).
 
Re: Doctor Cartmann on Gun Guys

It's a good analysis, but the good Dr. has not accurately described his population, nor understood the reason that its' members seem to fit one mold. It is a great analysis of "Internet Forum Guy".
 
Re: Doctor Cartmann on Gun Guys

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: GrnMtnRidgeRunnr</div><div class="ubbcode-body">It's a good analysis, but the good Dr. has not accurately described his population, nor understood the reason that its' members seem to fit one mold. It is a great analysis of "Internet Forum Guy". </div></div>

Internet gun guys are real life.
 
Re: Doctor Cartmann on Gun Guys

I like your style Doctor.

I was told by my uncle once,"Godamn boy, you know something about everything but you don't know everything about anything." So glad you noticed Unc.

I am a self admitted smartass and clown, and have no better sense than to spar on the internet with true "Gun Guys".

I used to be good friends with a guy that became a Green Beret. Should I be using that in my posts? just curious.

Signed,
Inther Apy
 
Re: Doctor Cartmann on Gun Guys

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: armorpl8chikn</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I like your style Doctor.

I was told by my uncle once,"Godamn boy, you know something about everything but you don't know everything about anything." So glad you noticed Unc.

I am a self admitted smartass and clown, and have no better sense than to spar on the internet with true "Gun Guys".

I used to be good friends with a guy that became a Green Beret. Should I be using that in my posts? just curious.

Signed,
Inther Apy </div></div>

Well don't think this evaluation was a criticism, it was just an observation. The truth is, I am a GUN GUY myself! and I love gun guys, all of them.
laugh.gif


I even love the Operators we have here in Vegas, the ones that shoot offhand through tiny ports while upside down (because this is a real life situation you might encounter). I love them even though they don't love Cartmann
frown.gif


It's all about LOVE!
 
Re: Doctor Cartmann on Gun Guys

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: EricCartmann</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> The truth is, I am a GUN GUY myself! and I love gun guys, all of them.
laugh.gif



It's all about LOVE! </div></div>

You love us long time?
 
Re: Doctor Cartmann on Gun Guys

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: queequeg</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: EricCartmann</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> The truth is, I am a GUN GUY myself! and I love gun guys, all of them.
laugh.gif



It's all about LOVE! </div></div>

You love us long time? </div></div>

love you guys long long time.
 
Re: Doctor Cartmann on Gun Guys

Real gun guys don't say they are gun guys.

Unless they are trying to fool someone.

Someone said the new breed of gun guy looks more like a golfer than a gun guy.

I suspect closet liberals.
 
Re: Doctor Cartmann on Gun Guys

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Wireman</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Real gun guys don't say they are gun guys.

Unless they are trying to fool someone.

Someone said the new breed of gun guy looks more like a golfer than a gun guy.

I suspect closet liberals. </div></div>


I guess I am not a real gun guy then. Sometimes it's good to know the truth, no matter how much it hurts
frown.gif
 
Re: Doctor Cartmann on Gun Guys

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: EricCartmann</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: queequeg</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: EricCartmann</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> The truth is, I am a GUN GUY myself! and I love gun guys, all of them.
laugh.gif



It's all about LOVE! </div></div>

You love us long time? </div></div>

love you guys long long time. </div></div>

I bet you do, sunshine, sunshine, I bet you do ...

H5ZwY.jpg
 
Re: Doctor Cartmann on Gun Guys

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Veer_G</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: EricCartmann</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: queequeg</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: EricCartmann</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> The truth is, I am a GUN GUY myself! and I love gun guys, all of them.
laugh.gif



It's all about LOVE! </div></div>

You love us long time? </div></div>

love you guys long long time. </div></div>

I bet you do, sunshine, sunshine, I bet you do ...

H5ZwY.jpg
</div></div>

Just saying what you want to hear. You want me to text you a picture of myself with my shirt off?
 
Re: Doctor Cartmann on Gun Guys

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: dduck44</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Are you the Cartmann on SouthPark? </div></div>

No. His last name is Cartman, mine is Cartmann
 
Re: Doctor Cartmann on Gun Guys

The latest data shows that medical mistakes kill approx. 250,000 people a year. The good doctor needs to forget about guns, or anything else for that matter, and clean up his own profession.
 
Re: Doctor Cartmann on Gun Guys

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: 3oh8er</div><div class="ubbcode-body">The latest data shows that medical mistakes kill approx. 250,000 people a year. The good doctor needs to forget about guns, or anything else for that matter, and clean up his own profession. </div></div>

"Internet Psychiatrist" kills 250,000 people per year? How?