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How to catch a liar. Stolen Valor LMAOOOOOO

Bender

Alphabeti Notice: This is a satire account
Full Member
Minuteman
  • Feb 12, 2014
    13,340
    47,946
    Cheyenne WY.
    As I dabble in trolling, I stand in awe of this masterpiece. I wanna make my own to catch morons


    BD26973A-119C-4D9D-8EB0-31FA943DAA5F.png
     
    This is the button you push to switch from normal bullets to the armor piercing, lung exploding 9mm. Since 9mm is bigger it has more power than a lil .223 bullet. If you push it a third time is how you call in air strikes and turn on night vision. Fourth push is nuclear war.

    Goldfinger button.gif
     
    My drill instructor told us to never ever touch that button. He said that when he was in Vietnam and out on a secret mission in Laos, one of only a few times the Recon Seals went into Laos, that he used that button it broke the bolt carrier in half.
     
    • Like
    Reactions: Tchitcherine
    In an attempt not to upset "Progressives," the Coast Guard nomenclature designates this as the "expresso" button. It enhances both the aroma of gunpowder and rate of fire to where projectiles are alternated between armor-piercing and high-explosive. These projectiles have different FPS (Fatalities-Per-Sacrifice) velocities so that the AP and HE "pointy things" are overlapped to arrive simultaneously at the designated tormentor. :sleep:
     
    Sumbitch. The guy I bought mine from told me it was a highly classified light bending electronic camouflage button and only to press it in a SHTF scenario. Fucker. I want money back.

    View attachment 7908450
    Are you SURE it’s not working? I mean… would you know if you are invisible?

    Sirhr
     
    I can see I hold rank over all of you turds.

    I'm an Air Force EOD, Special Ops, Master Chief Petty Officer, Major.

    I have 2+ years of service and am in line for a Brigadier General's position if my bridge team wins the next tournament.
     
    • Haha
    Reactions: BLEE
    This is the button you push to switch from normal bullets to the armor piercing, lung exploding 9mm. Since 9mm is bigger it has more power than a lil .223 bullet. If you push it a third time is how you call in air strikes and turn on night vision. Fourth push is nuclear war.
    Fuck man. Ive had a Nuclear War button this whole time? Jeez I may as well just fckn commit suicide, I mean I know I myself aint responsible enough so obviously no one else should own a rifle either and if they do they should commit suicide too. Thought it was bad enough that my Glock blows the lung OWWT(!!!) of the body. If you own a AR15 people please just commit suicide now so we can stop these mass shootings. Else we're gonna have scooped out lungs piling up in the street and mushroom clouds all over the place. Even heard that when you blow the lung OWWT of the body, it causes covid to become sentient:eek: so make sure to get vaxxed or your lung could get blown OWWT of the body!
     
    • Haha
    Reactions: Bender