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Other peoples kids

Dirty D

Resident Sommelier of cellulite
Full Member
Minuteman
Mar 29, 2010
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Your moms house
So I’m minding my own business in a far corner of the patio at my coffee shop this morning when a guy walks out with a couple of what looked to be 3 year old girls. The girls immediately start climbing all over everything but I don’t care because not my monkeys, not my circus.
Things began to change when one of the girls tries to climb over my legs because she can’t squeeze between me and the coffee table or realize that she can just walk around the other side, simultaneously the other girl starts climbing on the patio couch I’m sitting on. I look at the dad and he is apparently perfectly fine with his girls climbing on a complete stranger because he is just sitting there doing nothing.
I’m about to say something to the dad when one of the girls tells me that they are on their way to the amusement park (hopefully to give their mother an hour or two of sleep) and the girl pulls up her shirt to show me her swimsuit (thankfully she was in fact wearing one under her shirt). I noticed that this whole new extra large bucket of awkwardness doesn’t bother her dad in the least because that millennial dad has achieved a millennial level of self absorption.
In my best uncle Dan voice I tell the girls that any clothes they have can be swimsuits if they want to be and just as I’m about to buy the two unguided furniture missiles a double shot espresso each the fact that I just told the miniature monsters that they can go swimming in any clothes manages to penetrate the dads self absorption shield that protects him from reality and he quickly rounded up the curly haired monkeys and found a different corner of the patio to make their personal jungle gym.
As I was leaving he shot me a dirty look and I gave him my signature grin and a Queen Elizabeth wave.

Follow me for more expert tips on parenting other peoples kids.
 
Who the fuck takes kids to a coffee shop . It's for adults . A while back I was studying electronic engineering . Went to a Starbucks for a change of scenery and to not be bothered at home . Everything was great for bout half an hour when this self important pretty boy dick head comes in . He has a boy and girl about 9 or 10 with him .
So they get their drinks and pick a table dead center of this. Little shop. Guy starts talking very loud , laughing and joking with his kids and they follow suit . Now mind you there's probably eight other people on laptops , reading or doing school work .
I gave him shitty looks . Everybody gave him shitty looks . The more negative response this twat got the more he dialed the kids up . You could even see him scanning the room for reactions . Jerk off had himself a good old time fuckin with everybody's peace and quiet .
I just hope he plays golf at one of the Weed Hockey establishments the I drive by a honk whilst they're at the top of dey back swang .
 
Who the fuck takes kids to a coffee shop . It's for adults . A while back I was studying electronic engineering . Went to a Starbucks for a change of scenery and to not be bothered at home . Everything was great for bout half an hour when this self important pretty boy dick head comes in . He has a boy and girl about 9 or 10 with him .
So they get their drinks and pick a table dead center of this. Little shop. Guy starts talking very loud , laughing and joking with his kids and they follow suit . Now mind you there's probably eight other people on laptops , reading or doing school work .
I gave him shitty looks . Everybody gave him shitty looks . The more negative response this twat got the more he dialed the kids up . You could even see him scanning the room for reactions . Jerk off had himself a good old time fuckin with everybody's peace and quiet .
I just hope he plays golf at one of the Weed Hockey establishments the I drive by a honk whilst they're at the top of dey back swang .
There is one in every crowd... 2 can make a crowd.
Take up scuba diving. Silence is golden.
 
I don't mind saying I don't like kids, especially poorly behaved ones. Like the fucking little brat that screamed for hours on a flight from Maui to the West Coast. I realize the inconsiderate asshole parents are mostly to blame. Just because you find your child's annoying behavior "cute", does not mean the rest of us do.
 
I go into Starbucks once in a while, usually at the behest of someone else. Always some bum taking a bath in the bathroom sink and at least one other bum appearing to OD at a table. All customers and employees ignore it. It’s the same at every different store every single time.
 
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Normally a firm “yo!” Followed by a “does this have a off button” does the trick.

I got zero give for people who abuse their kids like that, one day that brat is going to crawl on the wrong person, or fall crack their head, etc, I mean if you don’t want to parent pull the fuck out.

That and my dog was better behaved as a puppy than most peoples bipedal stage offspring.
 
So I’m minding my own business in a far corner of the patio at my coffee shop this morning when a guy walks out with a couple of what looked to be 3 year old girls. The girls immediately start climbing all over everything but I don’t care because not my monkeys, not my circus.
Things began to change when one of the girls tries to climb over my legs because she can’t squeeze between me and the coffee table or realize that she can just walk around the other side, simultaneously the other girl starts climbing on the patio couch I’m sitting on. I look at the dad and he is apparently perfectly fine with his girls climbing on a complete stranger because he is just sitting there doing nothing.
I’m about to say something to the dad when one of the girls tells me that they are on their way to the amusement park (hopefully to give their mother an hour or two of sleep) and the girl pulls up her shirt to show me her swimsuit (thankfully she was in fact wearing one under her shirt). I noticed that this whole new extra large bucket of awkwardness doesn’t bother her dad in the least because that millennial dad has achieved a millennial level of self absorption.
In my best uncle Dan voice I tell the girls that any clothes they have can be swimsuits if they want to be and just as I’m about to buy the two unguided furniture missiles a double shot espresso each the fact that I just told the miniature monsters that they can go swimming in any clothes manages to penetrate the dads self absorption shield that protects him from reality and he quickly rounded up the curly haired monkeys and found a different corner of the patio to make their personal jungle gym.
As I was leaving he shot me a dirty look and I gave him my signature grin and a Queen Elizabeth wave.

Follow me for more expert tips on parenting other peoples kids.
My Dad died when I was 3 in 1956 … had 3 siblings. My Mom got her bluff in early and she didn’t let shit like that fly. We were far from perfect , but we never got out of control. She had that stare saying “don’t effin mess with me“ until she passed away at age 92.
 
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Know what I remember about childhood? That little soft spot in the back of your upper arm that will light your ass up when your mom gets a good pinch going. You want to act up, make stupid comments and embarrass the family? The warning shot is the pinch that will leave a bruise. The next step was certain death. Beatings occurred on the regular at my house. Almost every one was warranted. Act like a fool, take your beating like a fool does so that you don't become an adult fool. There was real wisdom in those days.
 
Know what I remember about childhood? That little soft spot in the back of your upper arm that will light your ass up when your mom gets a good pinch going. You want to act up, make stupid comments and embarrass the family? The warning shot is the pinch that will leave a bruise. The next step was certain death. Beatings occurred on the regular at my house. Almost every one was warranted. Act like a fool, take your beating like a fool does so that you don't become an adult fool. There was real wisdom in those days.
Mom as a “go get me a switch” type gal ! Hickory or Birch were the options.
 
one of the many reasons god graced man with the knowledge of a shovel and the ability to hide things in the woods lime helps .
 
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one of the many reasons god graced man with the knolage of a shovel and the ability to hide things in the woods lime helps .

Had a waterfront place for a while, was doing work on it with a few friends, one said something like “hey if I fall off the roof figure your insurance would cover it?”
I said “insurance? See that water over there, fish gotta eat too” 😂
 
So I’m minding my own business in a far corner of the patio at my coffee shop this morning when a guy walks out with a couple of what looked to be 3 year old girls. The girls immediately start climbing all over everything but I don’t care because not my monkeys, not my circus.
Things began to change when one of the girls tries to climb over my legs because she can’t squeeze between me and the coffee table or realize that she can just walk around the other side, simultaneously the other girl starts climbing on the patio couch I’m sitting on. I look at the dad and he is apparently perfectly fine with his girls climbing on a complete stranger because he is just sitting there doing nothing.
I’m about to say something to the dad when one of the girls tells me that they are on their way to the amusement park (hopefully to give their mother an hour or two of sleep) and the girl pulls up her shirt to show me her swimsuit (thankfully she was in fact wearing one under her shirt). I noticed that this whole new extra large bucket of awkwardness doesn’t bother her dad in the least because that millennial dad has achieved a millennial level of self absorption.
In my best uncle Dan voice I tell the girls that any clothes they have can be swimsuits if they want to be and just as I’m about to buy the two unguided furniture missiles a double shot espresso each the fact that I just told the miniature monsters that they can go swimming in any clothes manages to penetrate the dads self absorption shield that protects him from reality and he quickly rounded up the curly haired monkeys and found a different corner of the patio to make their personal jungle gym.
As I was leaving he shot me a dirty look and I gave him my signature grin and a Queen Elizabeth wave.

Follow me for more expert tips on parenting other peoples kids.
You didn’t explain to them that you like kids better grilled? You’re losing your touch!!! 🤣
 
Best advice I ever got was “ treat your kids like dogs…” and I knew exactly what he meant. Praise them loud and proud when they do something right, correct IMMEDIATELY when they do wrong. Never threaten and always follow through… I am now blessed with two amazing girls that are approaching adulthood and they make me proud daily

I have siblings and cousins with absolute monsters for children. They threaten and count to three and holler and put in timeout and negotiate and all the other typical stupid stuff… They are continually amazed at how pleasant my girls are to be around. I just roll my eyes and laugh

I have also made it crystal clear to parents who send their kids over to spend the night or hang out for the weekend that I am going to treat them exactly like I treat my own, so if they don’t like it, don’t send em. A lot of those kids have been a little shocked when I lay dow the law, but they ALL leave respecting us and most want to hang out with us as much as possible.
 
My wife and I took our two boys and some of their friends on a high mountain hike to a small lake. They were all between 7 and 10 years old.
We get to the lake just as a young free spirited couple had just finished messing around and decided to walk into the lake to freshen up.
My youngest yells out "Hay, they are naked."
Which made the young couple uneasy. The female ran out of the water quickly to where their towels were laying and quickly wrapped herself up.
The guy walks out slowly and my older son said out loud " Looks like the lake is pretty cold "
 
Most parents today are terrible. They are ear blind to the constant squeeling and loudness of their kids, have no discipline and structure and let the kids dictate and overpower every setting. I raised my kids under the idea that they are to join me in my life and not the other way around. Not full on seen and not heard but aware of others around and respectful. The hard part is having to be around these poorly parented kids anywhere...beach, pool, restaurant, movie, etc. It is pretty much normal to the snowflake style parents for their kids to overpower every environment with no limits and dictate every setting.
 
No children of our own - many nieces and nephews - and of course, many great-nieces and nephews.

When the parents aren't paying attention . . . and the kids are making more noise than socially acceptable, I just yell at the top of my lungs "HEY! I BET I CAN MAKE MORE NOISE THAN YOU CAN!!!!"

That generally gets the parents to quiet down their kids . . . and sometimes gets them to remove their kids from the immediate area.
 
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Most parents today are terrible. They are ear blind to the constant squeeling and loudness of their kids, have no discipline and structure and let the kids dictate and overpower every setting. I raised my kids under the idea that they are to join me in my life and not the other way around. Not full on seen and not heard but aware of others around and respectful. The hard part is having to be around these poorly parented kids anywhere...beach, pool, restaurant, movie, etc. It is pretty much normal to the snowflake style parents for their kids to overpower every environment with no limits and dictate every setting.
Most parents today dont raise their own kids. They are in "daycare" where they spend their formative years and remember if the daycare employs assholes to mind the kids the chances are the kids will be assholes as well.
 
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D7DDA682-16DB-4930-AE2D-AE0DCE4A68C6.jpeg

My little 😇
 
I have been known to call down other peoples kids. Especially in church and during weddings, funerals and the like. Don’t like it? Manage your kids. Thought a dude and I were going to go full throw down fight once because his little girl was running in the pew seats during a wedding. But she sat down and shut up after I snapped my fingers and told her to sit when she ran past. No regrets.
 
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two women were chatting amongst each other at the pharmacy once, (which shares a waiting room with a doctor's office) and one of their crotch-tropies was standing in one of the aisles 'just hollering at the top of his lungs'. All the while, these two women ignored it and continued on their gossip/blathering.

Until I BELLOWED OUT, "QUIET", then the place fell silent. One of the skanks started attempting to dress-me-down when I told her to shut-the-hell-up too, because not only are you in a public place, but you're also in a doctor's office where we're all 'not having fun to begin with' so if you want to go and let your child act like an animal, then take him to a park. In the meantime, have some dignity and decorum for the rest of the people here."

Nobody complained about what I said or how I said it. She got red-faced and left, with her son in tow. The rest of the day went well, too.
 
Got my fair share of the belt laid across my ass as a kid.

There are a handful of those incidents that I still feel were heavy-handed or flat out undeserved...

But on the flip side there were some pretty dumb stunts I managed to pull off that mom and dad never knew about.

So when the score is tallied it's probably a wash. I figure the licks I didn't deserve made up for undiscovered shenanigans.

Thank God they beat enough sense into me that, so far, I have been able to avoid being fitted for an orange jumpsuit.

Mike
 
When it was mentioned that any clothes could be a swimsuit, I was expecting to read the girls got an unwanted trip into a nearby fountain. :devilish:
 
Know what I remember about childhood? That little soft spot in the back of your upper arm that will light your ass up when your mom gets a good pinch going. You want to act up, make stupid comments and embarrass the family? The warning shot is the pinch that will leave a bruise. The next step was certain death. Beatings occurred on the regular at my house. Almost every one was warranted. Act like a fool, take your beating like a fool does so that you don't become an adult fool. There was real wisdom in those days.
"Hot ear". I called hem hot ears. The miscreant's earlobe between your bent forefinger and thumb, pinching hard and a liberal dose of thumbnail thrown in for good measure.

A hot ear, properly applied, would take them to the ground in a crying heap right quick. Only had to do it a few times to the son before he started paying real close attention for "the look" :ROFLMAO:
 
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No doubt the younger ones of our population tend to be reined in, I'll approach this with a different angle.

I'm out to get some work done on my computer at a local shop. Place does awesome work, so Best Buy isn't my first choice. I'm in line behind one lady while the service tech is helping another lady. Service tech heads to the back (for longer than normal for some reason). There's a few more customers showing up now, about 6-8 people total standing in line of sorts. Some crotchety ol' Boomer comes hobbling in, stands in the open door looks around, bellows out "Does anyone work here?" he lets out a little grunt or something. I turn around "Well the OPEN sign was on the door, the door was unlocked when you came in, and the service tech is in the back helping another customer....so YEA....people work here." :rolleyes: :rolleyes: He just looks around....walks back out the door, hobbles back to his Buick, drives away.

PSA: If you are going to let your Boomer roam free be sure to give them their meds. Just sayin'......
 
Got my fair share of the belt laid across my ass as a kid.

There are a handful of those incidents that I still feel were heavy-handed or flat out undeserved...

But on the flip side there were some pretty dumb stunts I managed to pull off that mom and dad never knew about.

So when the score is tallied it's probably a wash. I figure the licks I didn't deserve made up for undiscovered shenanigans.

Thank God they beat enough sense into me that, so far, I have been able to avoid being fitted for an orange jumpsuit.

Mike

I swear my dad could unbuckle and pull a belt faster than Rob Leatham can draw a 1911.

My boys and their wives said they would never spank their children...before they had children. I don't think either made it past the first birthday. Our youngest granddaughter (two next week) is with us most days. My wife deploys the leg smack on a regular occasion. I have had to use my stern voice once or twice.

I was fairly strict with my kids. All three were very "spirited." Really enjoy watching them with their own.
 
"Hot ear". I called hem hot ears. The miscreant's earlobe between your bent forefinger and thumb, pinching hard and a liberal dose of thumbnail thrown in for good measure.

A hot ear, properly applied, would take them to the ground in a crying heap right quick. Only had to do it a few times to the son before he started paying real close attention for "the look" :ROFLMAO:
Dad said his mom's go-to was the short hairs on the back of the neck. She'd pinch what she could and pull... Absolute attention getter.

Dad said she'd have you on your tiptoes and would lead you wherever she deemed you needed to go.

He must've really hated it cause he never used it on me. He just used the belt. Lol.

Mike
 
I swear my dad could unbuckle and pull a belt faster than Rob Leatham can draw a 1911.

My boys and their wives said they would never spank their children...before they had children. I don't think either made it past the first birthday. Our youngest granddaughter (two next week) is with us most days. My wife deploys the leg smack on a regular occasion. I have had to use my stern voice once or twice.

I was fairly strict with my kids. All three were very "spirited." Really enjoy watching them with their own.

My socialism promoting, Trump hating, Obama/Hillary/Biden/Beto supporting older sister and her weirdo husband have an adopted son who was an evil little monster. He looked like a cross between a dwarf and Chucky. At four years old he ran their family and my sister loved it and thought it was cute to be subservient to some spoiled brat.

He'd never been disciplined much less spanked and by five could do and say anything to an adult without his parent's saying anything.

All that shit stopped when they came to Austin and picked up my mom to go see the Capital. The first thing the bastard did was break loose and disappear down some corridor until my mom went and found him. That was her supreme opportunity. My mom had these long fingers that felt like cat o' nine tails that left red streaks when she spanked you and she went after those short, fat, bare dwarf legs in shorts. Then she brought him back to the main rotunda with everybody else where he then proceeded to cry and howl insults, echoing throughout the high domed capital. My sister had to take him outside where he leaned his head against a statue and howled while my sister comforted and explained to him that sometimes old people are mean. My sister didn't speak to my mom for a long time after that.
 
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Maybe I was just lucky - 2nd Son in a Family of 9. I never remember being spanked nor beat and don't remember seeing any of the other kids spanked. Younger brother did get his mouth washed out with soap for saying "pig fucker" which was a hoot. My Dad was a extremely adept at making you know instantly that you were engaging in behavior that was not going to be tolerated. He would take you aside and with "that look" on his face tell you that your behavior was making the whole family, especially my Mother, look like White Trash or like we had no pride nor discipline.

"Do you want people to think your Mother and I and yer whole Family are some kind of jack asses?"

My parents were the best folks ever and it'd kill me (and my siblings) to think we were shaming them and the rest of the Family by acting rudely or loudly. 2nd time it would happen all he or she had to do was engage "That Look" and the whole conversation would burn again like a knife. They never needed to hit us - the worst I ever felt was getting caught with a bag of pot in my pocket and making my Dad cry with shame and worry about what would become of me.

I don't think kids need beat to discipline them. All of us kids/siblings raised their kids the same way and at family reunions and outings you never see "one of ours" running and screaming and climbing and being an Ape. I don't think a good swat on the ass to get their attention hurts them any but beating them with a belt means you have failed to reach them any other Way.

VooDoo
 
hmm I member getting a bar of soap shoved in my mouth and twisted so it went into my teeth by my mother because the first word I got back from kindergarten was the word cunt...

STRAYA
 
So I’m minding my own business in a far corner of the patio at my coffee shop this morning when a guy walks out with a couple of what looked to be 3 year old girls. The girls immediately start climbing all over everything but I don’t care because not my monkeys, not my circus.
Things began to change when one of the girls tries to climb over my legs because she can’t squeeze between me and the coffee table or realize that she can just walk around the other side, simultaneously the other girl starts climbing on the patio couch I’m sitting on. I look at the dad and he is apparently perfectly fine with his girls climbing on a complete stranger because he is just sitting there doing nothing.
I’m about to say something to the dad when one of the girls tells me that they are on their way to the amusement park (hopefully to give their mother an hour or two of sleep) and the girl pulls up her shirt to show me her swimsuit (thankfully she was in fact wearing one under her shirt). I noticed that this whole new extra large bucket of awkwardness doesn’t bother her dad in the least because that millennial dad has achieved a millennial level of self absorption.
In my best uncle Dan voice I tell the girls that any clothes they have can be swimsuits if they want to be and just as I’m about to buy the two unguided furniture missiles a double shot espresso each the fact that I just told the miniature monsters that they can go swimming in any clothes manages to penetrate the dads self absorption shield that protects him from reality and he quickly rounded up the curly haired monkeys and found a different corner of the patio to make their personal jungle gym.
As I was leaving he shot me a dirty look and I gave him my signature grin and a Queen Elizabeth wave.

Follow me for more expert tips on parenting other peoples kids.

When do you start a day care business?

LOL
 
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two women were chatting amongst each other at the pharmacy once, (which shares a waiting room with a doctor's office) and one of their crotch-tropies was standing in one of the aisles 'just hollering at the top of his lungs'. All the while, these two women ignored it and continued on their gossip/blathering.

Until I BELLOWED OUT, "QUIET", then the place fell silent. One of the skanks started attempting to dress-me-down when I told her to shut-the-hell-up too, because not only are you in a public place, but you're also in a doctor's office where we're all 'not having fun to begin with' so if you want to go and let your child act like an animal, then take him to a park. In the meantime, have some dignity and decorum for the rest of the people here."

Nobody complained about what I said or how I said it. She got red-faced and left, with her son in tow. The rest of the day went well, too.

You are my fucking hero!
 
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No doubt the younger ones of our population tend to be reined in, I'll approach this with a different angle.

I'm out to get some work done on my computer at a local shop. Place does awesome work, so Best Buy isn't my first choice. I'm in line behind one lady while the service tech is helping another lady. Service tech heads to the back (for longer than normal for some reason). There's a few more customers showing up now, about 6-8 people total standing in line of sorts. Some crotchety ol' Boomer comes hobbling in, stands in the open door looks around, bellows out "Does anyone work here?" he lets out a little grunt or something. I turn around "Well the OPEN sign was on the door, the door was unlocked when you came in, and the service tech is in the back helping another customer....so YEA....people work here." :rolleyes: :rolleyes: He just looks around....walks back out the door, hobbles back to his Buick, drives away.

PSA: If you are going to let your Boomer roam free be sure to give them their meds. Just sayin'......

thorazine-ad
 
Dad said his mom's go-to was the short hairs on the back of the neck. She'd pinch what she could and pull... Absolute attention getter.
Mike
I used the same method with my son and later in life with his son (with he and his wife's consent). The part that got their FULL attention was when I asked "up or down" after I grabbed the short hairs. That question put the fear of God in them and they stopped doing whatever they knew they shouldn't be doing in an instant.
 
Hair tug on the nape of the neck was my go to also in public when my boys were acting up. Got their full attention right now! No need to scream or draw attention from other people, a pretty covert discipline.
They hated it and still talk about it to this days.😂
They both were pretty good kids and students, never had to resort to a belt or paddle, got the occasional whack on the ass when at home, but a raising of the voice was generally all that was needed to get the point across.

The dreaded switch off a tree was my grandmothers go to on me, damn that shit hurt. 😂 She raised nine kids, so patience was not one of her virtues late in life. When she told you to do something, she meant it and felt no need to repeat herself. We raised two, can’t fathom raising nine kids.
 
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Who the fuck takes kids to a coffee shop . It's for adults . A while back I was studying electronic engineering . Went to a Starbucks for a change of scenery and to not be bothered at home . Everything was great for bout half an hour when this self important pretty boy dick head comes in . He has a boy and girl about 9 or 10 with him .
So they get their drinks and pick a table dead center of this. Little shop. Guy starts talking very loud , laughing and joking with his kids and they follow suit . Now mind you there's probably eight other people on laptops , reading or doing school work .
I gave him shitty looks . Everybody gave him shitty looks . The more negative response this twat got the more he dialed the kids up . You could even see him scanning the room for reactions . Jerk off had himself a good old time fuckin with everybody's peace and quiet .
I just hope he plays golf at one of the Weed Hockey establishments the I drive by a honk whilst they're at the top of dey back swang .

Why in the hell are you and everyone else on here whining about it?

Just tell him to shut the fuck up next time. You are already pissed and so is everyone else. Time to share the suck with him. It will brighten everyone else's day and one day he'll appreciate your feedback.

If someone else is not polite, then you do not need to be polite with them.

I have zero problems with controlling other peoples' kids. It teaches two lessons. One to the kids and the other to the parents. Kids can be easily redirected. Parents need other methods. Come up with your own tricks.