My guess is caught in the bite of a line
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They also function well as a roughneck pickup line. Go into a bar full of hipsters right after work, gloves hanging off your jacket on carabiner lanyards and rolled up reflectives stuffed into your rear pocket and see how the gals start looking at you. Hint: Deep down, hipster girls really do not like to be around manbuns and skinny jeans.
close!
Definitely not a good story and not very deep for mine. Did this shaving last week. Had to pull skin out of the razor.
Everyone here has garage doors. Those things have rollers that ride on rails. These suckers have grease that attracts dirt/leaves/webs like bees on honey. As the garage door was coming down, I see crap riding down on the wheels and rails. I figured I would just pull the crap off as the door was coming down. My ring finger got caught between the roller and rail, got stuck and I had to rip it away.
First thought: "Ffkkkkk me..."
Second thought: "Whew, finger still intact."
Finger was throbbing, but felt numb initially, till I went back into the house, then the throbbing pain started, followed by bleeding.
I was rolling on the floor, grabbing the finger, screaming in pain... Never swore that much in my life.
By the time I could stand back up to clean the finger, I realized the fingernail is gone. Never found that finger nail. It is probably still stuck between the fking roller and rail. Swore never to get close to that fking thing again.
First thought: "Ffkkkkk me..."
Second thought: "Whew, finger still intact."
Finger was throbbing, but felt numb initially, till I went back into the house, then the throbbing pain started, followed by bleeding.
I was rolling on the floor, grabbing the finger, screaming in pain... Never swore that much in my life.
By the time I could stand back up to clean the finger, I realized the fingernail is gone. Never found that finger nail. It is probably still stuck between the fking roller and rail. Swore never to get close to that fking thing again.
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Well there's a reason for me to stick to the clippers and pass on the razor
i was going to type a back story about me and the kid and explain in more detail about some of the rigging dynamics and techniques, but no one really cares lol. long story short…
I used to own a tree service and this dude used to work for me, but not for very long. As with any industry, there are “professionals” who think they are better than what they actually are. a talented tree climber requires a shit ton of skill, athleticism, and intelligence. Unfortunately, not everyone possesses all of those requirements. I’m not sure exactly what happened, as I wasn’t there and neither was the guy who told me about the accident. All I know is he tried to take too big of a piece for his rigging system, the line broke and he had terrible work positioning awareness. The line came down like a whip and smacked him. You can see the bruising going around his chest and back on either side of the wound.
I have a few speculations as to why the rope broke. it could be one or the other, or a combination of things; old shitty line with or without damage, line too small for the piece that was cut, the ground guy running the line stopped the piece immediately causing a shock load instead of letting it run a bit and slowly bringing it to a stop. Think of hitting a curb vs getting hard on the brakes then slowing to a stop. A good rigger makes everything smooth and uneventful. Breaking a line sounds like a supersonic 22 thru a can.
A brother in law fell 30 feet off a scaffold while welding. Landed on his right side on a beam. Crushed his ribs into his right lung and broke his shoulder and arm. And broke his hip.
Mother fucker stops the bleeding, splints his arm, then gets in his stick shift and drives to the hospital 40 minutes away. He calls his wife and me while driving. We head up.
The ER doc says he has to go to Level I Trauma and luckily for him there is a chopper in the parking lot. They stabilize him and put him on a chopper and my sister kisses him good by.
She calls me about thirty minutes later crying. When she got home to pack she was met by a Sheriff Deputy they are friends with. The chopper crashed and everyone walked away but my brother in law.
Mother fucker stops the bleeding, splints his arm, then gets in his stick shift and drives to the hospital 40 minutes away. He calls his wife and me while driving. We head up.
The ER doc says he has to go to Level I Trauma and luckily for him there is a chopper in the parking lot. They stabilize him and put him on a chopper and my sister kisses him good by.
She calls me about thirty minutes later crying. When she got home to pack she was met by a Sheriff Deputy they are friends with. The chopper crashed and everyone walked away but my brother in law.
I know a tough hombre from Tx that was out on his ranch building fence, He was boring a post hole with an auger running off the tractor PTO. He left it idling with the PTO in gear and walked back to rake the dirt away from the hole so it wouldn't fall back in when he picked up the auger.
Got his jacket sleeve caught on the rotating auger and it ended up twisting his arm completely off at the shoulder. Since it twisted off, it also sealed the blood vessels and he hardly bled at all. It was his right arm and his truck keys were in his left jeans pocket. Finally managed to get his keys out after walking like 50 yds to his truck, which was a Dodge 3500 diesel with a manual transmission. This was before everybody had a NSA tracking device on them 24/7 so he couldn't call anybody.
He got the truck cranked and managed to drive the manual transmission without a right arm about a mile to his house. Nobody was home and his house key was on a seperate ring still in his left pocket. He remembered he had an old rotary phone still hooked up in the utility room that wasn't locked. Called for an ambulance and they sent a chopper to get him because he was so far out of town. Today he can outwork me with one arm.
Got his jacket sleeve caught on the rotating auger and it ended up twisting his arm completely off at the shoulder. Since it twisted off, it also sealed the blood vessels and he hardly bled at all. It was his right arm and his truck keys were in his left jeans pocket. Finally managed to get his keys out after walking like 50 yds to his truck, which was a Dodge 3500 diesel with a manual transmission. This was before everybody had a NSA tracking device on them 24/7 so he couldn't call anybody.
He got the truck cranked and managed to drive the manual transmission without a right arm about a mile to his house. Nobody was home and his house key was on a seperate ring still in his left pocket. He remembered he had an old rotary phone still hooked up in the utility room that wasn't locked. Called for an ambulance and they sent a chopper to get him because he was so far out of town. Today he can outwork me with one arm.
5 months into a deployment and endless hours of “standing post” = sitting on a pile of sandbags. After a 4 hour shift I go grab my bag of kitty litter and squat on the child size port-a-potty training seat and begin to push out 10 days worth of MRE’s and tuna fish and crackers.
After you shit in a bag you pick it up and compare the heft to previous dumps, a good 10 pound dump or an average 4 to 5 pounder. Then you check it out, make sure everything is looking all right.
This particular dump wasn’t that heavy but upon inspection revealed a thick top layer of dark red almost brown, coagulated blood a similar viscosity as lemon meringue pie filling. I proceeded to locate the corpsman in his rack and hand over my bag of bloody shit for inspection, whilst also explaining that I had not been penetrated in any manner so what could be the cause of nearly bleeding out through my anus.
A convoy has to be assembled to cart my ass to the battalion aid station because “doc” has no clue. It was decided before convoy departure that the first thing I should do is go take a shower since we had been out in the field for about 12 days. Upon arrival I was told the battalion surgeon is waiting ready to go, so this is the story of how I ended up on all fours on an examination table with a captain’s two fingers in my rank asshole with two other Navy dudes standing behind him watching.
Turns out to be a severe case of hemorrhoids and squeezing out massive MRE shits turns into a bloody mess. I could post a photo of my asshole if it’s needed but it would be lacking the blood you desire so I will refrain.
After you shit in a bag you pick it up and compare the heft to previous dumps, a good 10 pound dump or an average 4 to 5 pounder. Then you check it out, make sure everything is looking all right.
This particular dump wasn’t that heavy but upon inspection revealed a thick top layer of dark red almost brown, coagulated blood a similar viscosity as lemon meringue pie filling. I proceeded to locate the corpsman in his rack and hand over my bag of bloody shit for inspection, whilst also explaining that I had not been penetrated in any manner so what could be the cause of nearly bleeding out through my anus.
A convoy has to be assembled to cart my ass to the battalion aid station because “doc” has no clue. It was decided before convoy departure that the first thing I should do is go take a shower since we had been out in the field for about 12 days. Upon arrival I was told the battalion surgeon is waiting ready to go, so this is the story of how I ended up on all fours on an examination table with a captain’s two fingers in my rank asshole with two other Navy dudes standing behind him watching.
Turns out to be a severe case of hemorrhoids and squeezing out massive MRE shits turns into a bloody mess. I could post a photo of my asshole if it’s needed but it would be lacking the blood you desire so I will refrain.
We all believe you. Don't post pics. Save yourself some dignity, if you have any left after having a dude go wedding-ring deep in your smudge-hole while 2 navy men probably were rating the experience.. possibly doing to each other what was being done to you.
I bet you could take him when it comes to hanging wall paper.
How I got my Thumbnail-les
Accidents happen
Warning graphic content. Last Thursday January 31st I was at work using a palm router to rout out foam for shadowboxing purposes. While reaching up to turn it off and laying it down, it slipped and my left thumb went into the spinning router bit. I immediately grabbed a bunch of paper towels...www.snipershide.com
Oh, that hits close to home.
I was carrying a flywheel, clutch and such and had the flywheel slip out of the box and come down on my big toe. I had just "normal" boots on. Thing I remember is it made no sound at all. After yelling to high heaven I hobble to the bay and unlace my book in front of the entire shop. Take off my sock and my big toe just swells up like a balloon. Everyone around me is, yup thats busted.
Shop manager drives me to the company Dr. (I will NEVER EVER go to a company dr again). And the entire ride over there every bump I could see my toe move right at the toe nail, it was just kinda floppy there. Get to the Dr, he takes an X-ray yup busted clean in two. He then takes a scapel and cuts right below my toe nail and the blood really starts to flow. Then he takes plyers and grabs the toe nail, and lifts it up and off. No shot no nothing. If I had been older I likely would have killed him.
The nail never did grow back right, always real thick and nasty. Finally about 20 years ago I hit it in the middle of the night and it started to bleed again. Went to foot Dr. and he said, well I can remove it, but it will likely come back just like it has been, the nail bed is very damaged, or I can kill the "root"....don't remember the term, and it will never grow a toe nail again. Elected to have him kill it. And it has not grown back. All these years later it is still.....tender? Don't notice it day to day, but if a dog steps on my toe it really hurts.
The wife has photos on film somewhere.
That is basically how my toe nail looked, it was always sore to the touch and I wore larger shoes. Not a real big deal to have a foot guy remove it, couple shots in the end of your toe, then a couple where the toe connects to your foot.
Mine never got better and I waited YEARS for it to.
I knew a guy withno hands, just artificial pinchers who built log cabin kits. H swung the sledgehammer to drive the spikes that set the logs, Bad ass watching him with those metal hands.
Friend of mine, yeah it got lanced.
How the fuck did you do that??
With a nailgun ?
Duh ?
I had a nail bounce a few weeks ago, the wood was very wet I think that was part of it. Bounced off my hand on its way to never never land.....I will find it in a tire sometime or another. Put goggles and gloves on after that.
This wood was so wet putting screws in water came out of the wood.
This wood was so wet putting screws in water came out of the wood.
This would either cause you to say, "That's odd."
Or sing a few choruses of the "Ow, MF, Ow" song.
In shop class the drill press chuck was on a chain...
Surprisingly, I did NOT lose a hand. But it took a couple of good chunks of flesh.
Our shop teacher was busy ogling down teenage girls shirts when I asked him to see the nurse. I kinda bled all over his floor.....
Surprisingly, I did NOT lose a hand. But it took a couple of good chunks of flesh.
Our shop teacher was busy ogling down teenage girls shirts when I asked him to see the nurse. I kinda bled all over his floor.....
I'm a fan of the "pain dance" personally.
Of course, there is also bloodless pain. One day, in traffic, I saw a very nice and expensive Mercedes-Benz SUV. And it was ruined, devalued by the use of a New England Patriots license plate frame on it. There goes the neighborhood.
I never took pictures in the ER.Too bad, because they dragged some astounding shit in there.
Pecos County, TX:
78 year old Mexican National, Work Visa, well established, nice old guy. His Patron took him out into the desert to check water and cattle, and found a dead calf. They are about an hour from the Ranch house, and they still have about an hour more more to go yet on their tour. He drops the Hand off at the calf with a shovel, and says, "I'll be back in about an hour, lessen I find some other work that has to be done."
off he goes while the Hand stays and digs a hole. About ten minutes after he starts digging, a Javelina comes running out of the brush, and makes a bee-line for him. He only realizes at the last second that this thing is coming at him, when he hears it running across the hard pack. He turns and sees it just as the Javelina chomps down on his ankle and starts shaking it head at about 100 rpm.
The old guy tries to keep his feet, and starts slamming the shovel onto the animal's head, wham!, wham!, wham. the animal eventually tumbles him, and still shaking it's head, and squeeling all the time, it is getting to be a bit much. The old guy finally stuns the Javilina enough to really lay one on him, and knocks the thing out cold. He delivers a few more blows to crush the beast's skull, and finally gets the thing to die.
He rested a few minutes, then using the shovel, he pries the mouth from his ankle, which is ripped to shreds, and hanging loosely. Bleeding pretty badly, he takes off his shirt, and wraps it tightly, and lays on his back in the sun. This is some flat, open and brushy country, no shade to speak of. He sips from his milk bottle of water once in a while, and waits. And waits.
Eventually he hears the truck.
The Rancher was looking all around where he left his man, and wondered why he couldn't see him. Slowly he pulled into the area near when they found the calf, and theres, the ranch hand, the dead Javilina and the dead calf. Blood everywhere. He gets the Hand into the truck, turns on the A/C, and gives him his water jug. He looked over the Javilina, went into the tool box, and pulled out an axe, and cut the animla's head off and put it in a paper feed sack.
They drove about an hour to get to the highway, and another hour to get to Ft Stockton, and the ER.
Late afternoon, and the Rancher comes in asking for a wheel chair. The Nurse and I go out into the ambulance entrance, and find the old guy. We nix the chair and she goes back for a gurney.
I opened the makeshift dressing, and took a good look, while the RN started a couple of IV's and loaded him up on antibiotics.
He was quite stoic, but I still offered him some pain meds. and a tetanus shot.
The wound was a mess. The ankle was disjoined, and tendons on both sides had been torn or damaged. The skin was flayed, but the bleeding had been controlled by his own dressing.
We irrigated the wound, cleaned him up, cut off all his clothing, and ran in another IV. No more to eat or drink by mouth. Great dressing work done by me and the EMT who was working a shift with us, and he was all set to travel.
We put the Javelina head into a plastic trash bag, paper sack and all, and dumped into a foam ice chest, from the lab, and shipped him up via ambulance to Odessa.
I heard that he turned out fine, recovered well, received good ortho care, and a series of Rabies inoculations.
The Javelina was Rabies Positive.
Pecos County, TX:
78 year old Mexican National, Work Visa, well established, nice old guy. His Patron took him out into the desert to check water and cattle, and found a dead calf. They are about an hour from the Ranch house, and they still have about an hour more more to go yet on their tour. He drops the Hand off at the calf with a shovel, and says, "I'll be back in about an hour, lessen I find some other work that has to be done."
off he goes while the Hand stays and digs a hole. About ten minutes after he starts digging, a Javelina comes running out of the brush, and makes a bee-line for him. He only realizes at the last second that this thing is coming at him, when he hears it running across the hard pack. He turns and sees it just as the Javelina chomps down on his ankle and starts shaking it head at about 100 rpm.
The old guy tries to keep his feet, and starts slamming the shovel onto the animal's head, wham!, wham!, wham. the animal eventually tumbles him, and still shaking it's head, and squeeling all the time, it is getting to be a bit much. The old guy finally stuns the Javilina enough to really lay one on him, and knocks the thing out cold. He delivers a few more blows to crush the beast's skull, and finally gets the thing to die.
He rested a few minutes, then using the shovel, he pries the mouth from his ankle, which is ripped to shreds, and hanging loosely. Bleeding pretty badly, he takes off his shirt, and wraps it tightly, and lays on his back in the sun. This is some flat, open and brushy country, no shade to speak of. He sips from his milk bottle of water once in a while, and waits. And waits.
Eventually he hears the truck.
The Rancher was looking all around where he left his man, and wondered why he couldn't see him. Slowly he pulled into the area near when they found the calf, and theres, the ranch hand, the dead Javilina and the dead calf. Blood everywhere. He gets the Hand into the truck, turns on the A/C, and gives him his water jug. He looked over the Javilina, went into the tool box, and pulled out an axe, and cut the animla's head off and put it in a paper feed sack.
They drove about an hour to get to the highway, and another hour to get to Ft Stockton, and the ER.
Late afternoon, and the Rancher comes in asking for a wheel chair. The Nurse and I go out into the ambulance entrance, and find the old guy. We nix the chair and she goes back for a gurney.
I opened the makeshift dressing, and took a good look, while the RN started a couple of IV's and loaded him up on antibiotics.
He was quite stoic, but I still offered him some pain meds. and a tetanus shot.
The wound was a mess. The ankle was disjoined, and tendons on both sides had been torn or damaged. The skin was flayed, but the bleeding had been controlled by his own dressing.
We irrigated the wound, cleaned him up, cut off all his clothing, and ran in another IV. No more to eat or drink by mouth. Great dressing work done by me and the EMT who was working a shift with us, and he was all set to travel.
We put the Javelina head into a plastic trash bag, paper sack and all, and dumped into a foam ice chest, from the lab, and shipped him up via ambulance to Odessa.
I heard that he turned out fine, recovered well, received good ortho care, and a series of Rabies inoculations.
The Javelina was Rabies Positive.
Amazing.
I see you had that Farrah faucet poster on your wall too
I used to feel sorry for myself when I had no shoes. Then, I met a man who had no feet.
And I asked him, "I don't suppose you have a pair of shoes laying around that you are not using?"
Always look for the bright side and opportunities.
I fell down one particular time, elk hunting in the Oregon Cascade range. Spun around and landed backward. Good sized rock exactly where the midpoint of my left humerus landed. Got a cool cast and a sling. My roommate (in college at the time) signed the back of the upper part of the cast with “thank God I learned to beat off with my right hand.”
Not visible to me, but obvious to the girl who sat behind me in English. She graciously offered her assistance, which I humbly accepted.
P
Not visible to me, but obvious to the girl who sat behind me in English. She graciously offered her assistance, which I humbly accepted.
P
If I only had a cast, with or without the actual broken arm....
She wasn’t very good looking, but there’s something to be said for enthusiastic volunteering.
I felt obligated. It would have been rude to decline.
I was raised better than that.
P
I felt obligated. It would have been rude to decline.
I was raised better than that.
P
