• Watch Out for Scammers!

    We've now added a color code for all accounts. Orange accounts are new members, Blue are full members, and Green are Supporters. If you get a message about a sale from an orange account, make sure you pay attention before sending any money!

Best Friend Just Tried To Off himself

vinniedelpino

Major Hide Member
Full Member
Minuteman
  • Sep 27, 2020
    2,421
    4,782
    Charlotte NC
    I'm not one for sappy posts, so I'm going to cut to the chase. My best friend just tried to off himself by downing a bottle of pain killers out of the blue. He's not one to talk about feelings (neither am I) and has made it clear that counseling is out of the question... I'm getting the "I'm fine, bro... I just fucked up. I got this" type of empty bullshit I've gotten the last several times he's gone completely off the rails.

    I'm posting here because he's a 9 year combat vet and he went sideways towards the tail end of his career. He's never been the same. We communicate without any sort of filter whatsoever and it's pretty clear what fucked him up. He won't admit it, but it's obvious.

    I figure someone here has been in a similar situation and I'm looking for a little honest advice. I can't lose this guy. He's more than family. I'm kicking around the idea of flying him out to a secluded island somewhere where we can kick back a few cold ones and relax. Other than that, I don't even know where to start and I'm at the point where I'm willing to post about it on the internet.

    Thanks gents.
     
    Anytime someone tries pills to kill them self, they're not actually sure they want to die, are hoping someone will save them in time, and could be looking for the attention. Where you know you want to go, there are quicker, more guaranteed methods.
     
    Anytime someone tries pills to kill them self, they're not actually sure they want to die, are hoping someone will save them in time, and could be looking for the attention. Where you know you want to go, there are quicker, more guaranteed methods.
    I'd normally say the same thing, but he took 19 oxycontin. Not vicodin. 100% oxycodone without the acetaminophen.

    If his girlfriend didn't come home from work early when he didn't answer her texts he'd have been a gonner.
     
    I'm not one for sappy posts, so I'm going to cut to the chase. My best friend just tried to off himself by downing a bottle of pain killers out of the blue. He's not one to talk about feelings (neither am I) and has made it clear that counseling is out of the question... I'm getting the "I'm fine, bro... I just fucked up. I got this" type of empty bullshit I've gotten the last several times he's gone completely off the rails.

    I'm posting here because he's a 9 year combat vet and he went sideways towards the tail end of his career. He's never been the same. We communicate without any sort of filter whatsoever and it's pretty clear what fucked him up. He won't admit it, but it's obvious.

    I figure someone here has been in a similar situation and I'm looking for a little honest advice. I can't lose this guy. He's more than family. I'm kicking around the idea of flying him out to a secluded island somewhere where we can kick back a few cold ones and relax. Other than that, I don't even know where to start and I'm at the point where I'm willing to post about it on the internet.

    Thanks gents.
    So sorry to hear this Vinnie. I know some people, some of whom may be able to help. I’ll point them to this thread.

    Best of luck, please keep us posted :)
     
    There are no ifs, ands, buts, maybes, or anything else. If he attempted doing it, the decision to get help is out of his hands!!!!! The next time he might not be there to say “I’ve got this.”, you don’t want that on your conscience for the rest of your life.
     
    I'm not one for sappy posts, so I'm going to cut to the chase. My best friend just tried to off himself by downing a bottle of pain killers out of the blue. He's not one to talk about feelings (neither am I) and has made it clear that counseling is out of the question... I'm getting the "I'm fine, bro... I just fucked up. I got this" type of empty bullshit I've gotten the last several times he's gone completely off the rails.

    I'm posting here because he's a 9 year combat vet and he went sideways towards the tail end of his career. He's never been the same. We communicate without any sort of filter whatsoever and it's pretty clear what fucked him up. He won't admit it, but it's obvious.

    I figure someone here has been in a similar situation and I'm looking for a little honest advice. I can't lose this guy. He's more than family. I'm kicking around the idea of flying him out to a secluded island somewhere where we can kick back a few cold ones and relax. Other than that, I don't even know where to start and I'm at the point where I'm willing to post about it on the internet.

    Thanks gents.
    Friends like he has in you are hard to come by.

    It starts with talking; somehow
     
    I know jack shit about the issue, but there are many resources out there to help. As Rooster said, definitely take the decision out of his hands. I’m sure he would do the same for you if roles were reversed. I’ll keep you And him in my thoughts.
     
    Maybe reach out to a vet organization that has a psychedelic treatment program? I’ve listened to a lot of pod casts with vets that said it helped them tremendously.
    This.

    Being crazy when I was younger I did a lot of looking into things. Psychedelic's have been around since man has. The ancient Greeks (think Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, all used them.

    LSD was developed specifically to treat that sort of issue. They found that when a person is emotionally wounded (say your buddy seeing to many of his friends die, or a young girl who was molested by Grandpa) often the trauma is so severe its unbearable so instead they bury it in the subconscious. Unfortunately, just like a cut on your arm, if not cleaned and treated it cna get infected, even gangrene. Ofen the memories are so painful they cant be brought to the consciousness level. Small does of these substances allow the conscious mind to relax and the painful memory to be brought up and remembered. once the person realizes the truth behind the pain, they can begin to deal with "You shal know the truth and the truth shall make you free." it. They're havng some really good results with Psilocybin which is a bit milder than LSD Im told.

    Personally, I'd avoid the VA if possible. One little slip and his 2A rights are out the window.

    I know that Johns Hopkins is working with it. Likely places in your area. Hesr's some in NC>

    www.psychedelicpassage.com › psilocybin-andPsilocybin & Psychedelic Assisted Therapy in North Carolina


    Nov 22, 2021 · While we can sit with many types of psychedelic plants, the majority of our clients select psilocybin as their preferred substance. We Offer Guided Psychedelic Experiences in Every
     
    People are wound tight everywhere. Pills could be a way of just quietly ending it and not leaving a mess for someone else to clean up. If you know anyone who has sort of gone through what he has, and come through ok, that might be a good person to bring along for an overnight/weekend camping trip. Someplace where he can bare and purge demons. At least at that point you might have a better idea of what further steps, if any, are needed.

    Whatever it is, send up a prayer for the man.
     
    I'm not one for sappy posts, so I'm going to cut to the chase. My best friend just tried to off himself by downing a bottle of pain killers out of the blue. He's not one to talk about feelings (neither am I) and has made it clear that counseling is out of the question... I'm getting the "I'm fine, bro... I just fucked up. I got this" type of empty bullshit I've gotten the last several times he's gone completely off the rails.

    I'm posting here because he's a 9 year combat vet and he went sideways towards the tail end of his career. He's never been the same. We communicate without any sort of filter whatsoever and it's pretty clear what fucked him up. He won't admit it, but it's obvious.

    I figure someone here has been in a similar situation and I'm looking for a little honest advice. I can't lose this guy. He's more than family. I'm kicking around the idea of flying him out to a secluded island somewhere where we can kick back a few cold ones and relax. Other than that, I don't even know where to start and I'm at the point where I'm willing to post about it on the internet.

    Thanks gents.
    I wish you and your Bud the best of luck with this. I’ve lost two in the past 4 years. We don’t have control over them or their demons.
     
    • Sad
    Reactions: vinniedelpino
    People are wound tight everywhere. Pills could be a way of just quietly ending it and not leaving a mess for someone else to clean up. If you know anyone who has sort of gone through what he has, and come through ok, that might be a good person to bring along for an overnight/weekend camping trip. Someplace where he can bare and purge demons. At least at that point you might have a better idea of what further steps, if any, are needed.

    Whatever it is, send up a prayer for the man.
    Be careful though. remember what happened to Chris Kyle.
     
    • Like
    Reactions: Slash0311
    I'm not one for sappy posts, so I'm going to cut to the chase. My best friend just tried to off himself by downing a bottle of pain killers out of the blue. He's not one to talk about feelings (neither am I) and has made it clear that counseling is out of the question... I'm getting the "I'm fine, bro... I just fucked up. I got this" type of empty bullshit I've gotten the last several times he's gone completely off the rails.

    I'm posting here because he's a 9 year combat vet and he went sideways towards the tail end of his career. He's never been the same. We communicate without any sort of filter whatsoever and it's pretty clear what fucked him up. He won't admit it, but it's obvious.

    I figure someone here has been in a similar situation and I'm looking for a little honest advice. I can't lose this guy. He's more than family. I'm kicking around the idea of flying him out to a secluded island somewhere where we can kick back a few cold ones and relax. Other than that, I don't even know where to start and I'm at the point where I'm willing to post about it on the internet.

    Thanks gents.
    When you are already in that type of lane with the conversation, straight up tell him YOU need HIM to be OK and YOU need HIM to be around for a long time yet.

    I now know it is ok and (even mandatory in my eyes) to tell a real friend you love them. Those things need to be said AND HEARD before something dumb happens.

    It is also totally ok for both of you to be crying and snotting because this shit is important.

    Sometimes people will not work through something difficult or scary for themselves but they will do it for a friend/brother/team mate or child.

    You might not have the answers to fix it for him but letting him hear words from your heart might be all he needs to push through.

    ./

    .
     
    Not a vet so I don’t have any direct experience with this organization but have heard quite a few vets interviewed on the Michael Berry show and many, many positive comments regarding Camp Hope in Houston, Texas.

    Maybe some here on SH can talk about it but this may be an option for your buddy. Hope this helps and keep us posted. Prayers!

     
    When you are already in that type of lane with the conversation, straight up tell him YOU need HIM to be OK and YOU need HIM to be around for a long time yet.

    I now know it is ok and (even mandatory in my eyes) to tell a real friend you love them. Those things need to be said AND HEARD before something dumb happens.

    It is also totally ok for both of you to be crying and snotting because this shit is important.

    Sometimes people will not work through something difficult or scary for themselves but they will do it for a friend/brother/team mate or child.

    You might not have the answers to fix it for him but letting him hear words from your heart might be all he needs to push through.

    ./

    .
     
    Somewhat similar situation, not a vet but he is. Have a routine with him and talk with him by phone every morning on the way to work. Been doing this four almost 4 years now. He goes through ups and downs. Pretty much discuss life but sometimes it gets pretty dark. Don’t call to talk about it just call to talk. He’ll open up when ready. Just make it a habit and be there.
     
    Anytime someone tries pills to kill them self, they're not actually sure they want to die, are hoping someone will save them in time, and could be looking for the attention. Where you know you want to go, there are quicker, more guaranteed methods.
    Sorry. Nope. Some folks desperately want to get the fuck out of here permanently but they don't wanna leave brains on the ceiling for loved ones to have to deal with "The Mess". It's a real thing.

    Handful of pills, a couple huge swallows of alcohol and then oblivion and 30 minutes later it's a done deal with no blood and mess for loved ones. Like putting a dog to sleep.

    VooDoo
     
    Sorry. Nope. Some folks desperately want to get the fuck out of here permanently but they don't wanna leave brains on the ceiling for loved ones to have to deal with "The Mess". It's a real thing.

    Handful of pills, a couple huge swallows of alcohol and then oblivion and 30 minutes later it's a done deal with no blood and mess for loved ones. Like putting a dog to sleep.

    VooDoo
    Depends on the pills. I know a kid who tried it with valium and al he did was vomit all over and leave himself half brain damaged.
     
    I'm not one for sappy posts, so I'm going to cut to the chase. My best friend just tried to off himself by downing a bottle of pain killers out of the blue. He's not one to talk about feelings (neither am I) and has made it clear that counseling is out of the question... I'm getting the "I'm fine, bro... I just fucked up. I got this" type of empty bullshit I've gotten the last several times he's gone completely off the rails.

    I'm posting here because he's a 9 year combat vet and he went sideways towards the tail end of his career. He's never been the same. We communicate without any sort of filter whatsoever and it's pretty clear what fucked him up. He won't admit it, but it's obvious.

    I figure someone here has been in a similar situation and I'm looking for a little honest advice. I can't lose this guy. He's more than family. I'm kicking around the idea of flying him out to a secluded island somewhere where we can kick back a few cold ones and relax. Other than that, I don't even know where to start and I'm at the point where I'm willing to post about it on the internet.

    Thanks gents.
    JUST DO SOMETHING! Take actions with the dude. So many people say they care, but just go back to their lives and then go to a funeral later acting all shocked n shit.
     
    id he owns guns or anything firearm related and you really do care about him Id convince him to sell you all of it for a dollar before he get red flagged oh and if he owns a dog buy it as well a good dog's life is a terrible thing to allow the atf to kill best of luck . and just so you know I am not saying that just to be funny but people who are not well or suicidal are more likely to bring you down with them causing you pain and suffering than you are to actually help them professional help would be best I do wish you well be careful .
     
    Last edited:
    id he owns guns or anything firearm related and you really do care about him Id convince him to sell you all of it for a dollar before he get red flagged oh and if he owns a dog buy it as well a good dog's life is a terrible thing to allow the atf to kill best of luck .
     
    There was a post by yasherka a couple of months ago. Shots in the neck. Ganglion nerve block for ptsd.
     
    • Like
    Reactions: vinniedelpino
    I'm not one for sappy posts, so I'm going to cut to the chase. My best friend just tried to off himself by downing a bottle of pain killers out of the blue. He's not one to talk about feelings (neither am I) and has made it clear that counseling is out of the question... I'm getting the "I'm fine, bro... I just fucked up. I got this" type of empty bullshit I've gotten the last several times he's gone completely off the rails.

    I'm posting here because he's a 9 year combat vet and he went sideways towards the tail end of his career. He's never been the same. We communicate without any sort of filter whatsoever and it's pretty clear what fucked him up. He won't admit it, but it's obvious.

    I figure someone here has been in a similar situation and I'm looking for a little honest advice. I can't lose this guy. He's more than family. I'm kicking around the idea of flying him out to a secluded island somewhere where we can kick back a few cold ones and relax. Other than that, I don't even know where to start and I'm at the point where I'm willing to post about it on the internet.

    Thanks gents.
    Had a nephew eat a shotgun 2 months ago. Sister said he had been depressed , but nothing that made her worry he was that bad. Was just 38 yr young , left a 12 yr old daughter.
    Be there for him if he reaches out to you.…bout all one can do. You’re a good man and friend to him , that means lots theses days.
    It took a man all day to clean up his relatively new truck. Doing oneself is bad enough without having others clean your mess up.
     
    Camp Hope Houston Texas 877-717-7873
     
    Many on here have already suggested some PTSD resources which are great. I would also suggest you take a look at moral injuries. The link below is an overview.


    Moral injuries are often overlooked as they frequently occur in conjunction with PTSD causing events.

    In the article above it talks about an awesome book titled “Achilles in Vietnam” - Combat Trauma and the Undoing Of Character. It is the single best resource for insight into moral injuries that I am familiar with.

    I have struggled with PTSD/moral injury since 2003. It almost cost me everything. When I read that book it was like a light went on in my head. I was like “holy shit that is me!!”

    Getting your friend to read that would be great, but if you read it and can use it in your discussions with him that would be awesome too.

    I will gladly send you my copy overnight mail if you would like it? I would also love to send you any electronic format you would want from Amazon if that is better.

    I don’t know if you are the praying type, but I am sending those too….

    Feel free to reach out anytime if I can help you.

    Good luck to you and your friend.

    Bob
     
    Had a nephew eat a shotgun 2 months ago. Sister said he had been depressed , but nothing that made her worry he was that bad. Was just 38 yr young , left a 12 yr old daughter.
    Be there for him if he reaches out to you.…bout all one can do. You’re a good man and friend to him , that means lots theses days.
    It took a man all day to clean up his relatively new truck. Doing oneself is bad enough without having others clean your mess up.
    A buddy was talking abut suicide. I was leaving town but told him, "Dont do it, but for Christ sake if you do, go down behind the police station, not in the apartment where youre 18 year old son will find you."

    Got a call from his son the next day. Dead in the bedroom.
     
    People who kill themselves do so because they just want the pain to stop. Address the source of the pain.

    Mental/emotional pain is WAY WORSE than physical pain. He wont like it, but clean the emotional wound, dress it, and watch him.

    If you can, sit on him 24/7 to ensure he cant try anything. He wont like that either. If a guy wants to kill himself, he's going to find a way to do it, but in my opinion, if you do everything you can to stop it, you have done everything you could.
     
    Prayers. Reach out to lawless and yasherka.

    This.

    @Yasherka

    A good dude.
    We had lunch a couple weeks ago.

    Lotta ways to get help without it feeling like “counseling” for your friend.

    I see a lot of folks with SI and a lot of M1 holds.

    1: follow Terry Cross’s advice.
    2: safety contract
    3: good idea to keep safe and his firearms from red flag laws. Often when people fail, they escalate the next attempt.

    I have several very good friends who have battled PTS, a couple since returning from SE Asia before I was born.
    One in particular is on here and has a new bin of shit and when able, I bet he would talk to your buddy if he wants.
    A vet who has seen dark times is often good as there is a connection there folks who havent been there cant make.
     
    This. Shawn Ryan podcast has several episodes on this. if it’s that far down the road I would seriously look into this

    Again this. I've seen the podcasts on YouTube. Alot of vets with PTSD are doing it with very good results. Ron White did it to beat alcoholism. White explains how it worked for him on a Rogan podcast. Shawn Ryan also did it and gives an in-depth description of how it worked for him.
     
    Here's something important to keep in mind.

    No matter how good a friend he may be, you need to protect yourself. Not just physically like with Chris Kyle, but people in his state can consume a lo of your energy, They can literally suck the life out of you and not even know it. Just always remember, at the end of the day YOU have a family thats depending on you.
     
    Sorry. Nope. Some folks desperately want to get the fuck out of here permanently but they don't wanna leave brains on the ceiling for loved ones to have to deal with "The Mess". It's a real thing.

    Handful of pills, a couple huge swallows of alcohol and then oblivion and 30 minutes later it's a done deal with no blood and mess for loved ones. Like putting a dog to sleep.

    VooDoo
    This is not always, how things work out. "I'm smarter now....." some may remember.
     
    I was skeptical about airing this crap out on the internet, but the hide did not disappoint.

    I had a TON of PMs chock full of promising leads in addition to the posts above that I'm looking into.

    My wife also gave the OK to book that impromptu trip. I'm going to fly him out to the islands and hash all this out while we sit on the beach. I'll bring a folder with me with a bunch of options referenced in this thread and see if I can get a commitment out of him. Fingers crossed.

    Either way I'm going to make it a point to reach out every day while he's on his way to work for a little light hearted conversation. I can't see that hurting any.

    I'll update this thread when I get back. In the meantime, I just want to send out a sincere THANK YOU for your feedback and support.
     
    A buddy was talking abut suicide. I was leaving town but told him, "Dont do it, but for Christ sake if you do, go down behind the police station, not in the apartment where youre 18 year old son will find you."

    Got a call from his son the next day. Dead in the bedroom.
    You don’t feel like maybe you should have done more? Like saying “hey go behind the police station to do it” was kinda doubling down for him, huh?
     
    Good man. I lost touch with a military buddy years after getting out, and was shocked to hear he offed himself. Helping him might just be one of the reasons you’re here. When you’re on the beach try to convince him to get help from other vets. They do, in fact, know, and talking to someone who knows is far different than talking to some clinically trained therapist.
     
    I agree with the people here...
    Do whatever it takes to prevent his taking further action on this. The Army taught us to accomplish the mission, and take care of your troops. I see your mission here as preventing him from killing himself, but that's just my opinion. I dont know how I would live with myself if someone I knew & cared about was in this situation, and I didnt do all that I could to prevent him killing himself. Its a hard place to be.

    Just another thought, but the Lord Jesus Christ has the ability to change people. Prayer really DOES work.

    If your friend is in a place mentally/spiritually where he WANTS to inflict pain on others, that's really an indicator of the pain he is feeling. Hurting people often want to lash out & make others feel what they are feeling.

    But now, please allow me to offer another perspective:?
    As a Christian believer/preacher.

    Enemy activity 101:
    Human beings are a spirit, with a mind/soul/personality, that live in a physical body. Humans have the ability to hear/see/perceive/feel spiritual influences. The enemy(Satan/the devil/demons) have the ability to speak to people. God/Jesus/the Holy Spirit/angels also speak to people, and we have the ability to hear/feel/perceive this.

    The enemy seeks to steal, kill, & destroy human life. He steals what God wants to do in peoples' lives, kills them physically, and then they are destroyed spiritually in hell.

    People report that "the devil made me..." do this or that. One very basic maneuver the enemy tries, is to influence a person mentally. He will sometimes tell a person, "you're depressed" or "you need to kill yourself" and the person is shocked! because nobody WANTS to be depressed or suicidal. Often, that person then starts "owning" these negative thoughts, and the process of growth begins. The thought becomes an idea, they dwell on it, and it becomes a plan. Then they take action & it becomes a reality, and bears fruit in the end: they become depressed, or attempt suicide.

    Now IF, on the other hand, when those kind of thoughts come into their mind (some people report actually HEARING voices) the targeted person says, "Fuck you, that's crazy. I'm not having it!" it can nip those VERY REAL thoughts in the bud.

    I'll give you an example. In fall 2016 I was doing something outside & I was MAD at everybody. Mad at my ex-wife, my kids, my friends, the people at church. And I didn't WANT to be mad. I asked myself where were these thoughts COMING from? And it was like the lightbulb went on & I realized that these thoughts of anger were being imposed upon me from a source OUTSIDE MYSELF. A real AHA! moment for me. I was being influenced to anger against my will! Nobody WANTS to be depressed or to kill themselves. In my opinion, as a preacher, people are being played by demonic forces, against their will, and often without recognising it, nor recognising the true source of these very real, very negative thoughts.

    Lots of people believe in the existance of the spirit world, because they have had personal experience/evidence of it. If a person is a fighter, when you present a target to shoot at, they can then rise to the occasion and begin actively resisting it. Evil/dark spirits can be identified by what effect they have on a person. And they OFTEN, ALMOST ALWAYS operate in packs or gangs.

    I cant prove the spirit world exists (God, Jesus, angels vs Satan, demons, etc) and you cant prove they dont. This is just my world view. Just one guy's opinion.
     
    Last edited:
    I had really good friend from when I was in middle school call me drunk out of the blue. I hadn't seen or heard from him more than twice in about 15 years, but we were thick as thieves when we were younger, especially after his older sister, my good friend also, killed herself. {Mom raging alcoholic, dad died of cancer when he was little, I was a couple years older than him and his sister was about 6 years older than me.}

    I didn't really talk to him because I was dealing with my own problems, and it kind of pissed me off he called me wasted for whatever. Talking on the phone is not something I do.... Not being a woman. :ROFLMAO:

    A year or so later I found out he had killed himself. I don't know when in relation to the phone call it was, but I sure wish I would have talked to him for a while. You should be able to sleep sound knowing you have done what you can.
     
    Good luck, at least you and he had a few conversations about it , sounds like the trip will be beneficial. I just got blind sided by a suicide. A friend, former Marine and gunsmith ate a .45, no clue, no warning , his twin brother is devastated. Both served in the crotch, in Afghanistan. Hell the dude just bought a new Harley, hard to figure why he did, there were plenty of people around if he just said something. Prayers sent
     
    • Sad
    • Like
    Reactions: JR_77 and Oldloser
    This. Shawn Ryan podcast has several episodes on this. if it’s that far down the road I would seriously look into this
    When I read this post I was thinking of the exact same thing and then you posted it. I watched the same podcast and it seemed legit by what Shawn was describing how it changed his whole psyche from dark to light. If the man was taking pure Oxcy it sounds like he is dealing with a lot of pain and possible is addicted to the drug as well. Treat the mind first then treat the addiction if that is the case. I know one thing this man needs guidance he cannot do it by himself. I lost a life long best friend as well to suicide, he never reached out and now he’s gone.
     
    Last edited: