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Maggie’s Funny & awesome pics, vids and memes thread (work safe, no nudity)

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My daughter's cat LuLu opens all our doors like that, it's annoying because she doesn't shut them behind her. Stupid lazy cat. We've woke up to a freezing cold house many times with one of the outside doors open 6" all night. I finally installed self closing hinges. (Yes, I could have switched all the doorknobs to round ones but that would have been more expensive, ruined the look my wife was going for and this solution also shuts the doors behind my kids as well.)
 
Worked at falls church yellow cab way back when they were using Plymouth fury’s with 225 slant sixes.
Guy came into the shop said his cab wouldn’t start.
Pushed it into my bay and the starter would only go click.
Pulled the dipstick and it showed full.
Twisted the oil filler in the valve cover and the whole engine was full of oil.
That’s when we started rationing the oil and trans fluid.
Is this a weekly episode of Taxi? Because this so stupid it’s either that or the lizard people need to come like right freaking now, stop the butt probes and restart shop classes.

What the hell have we become? Idiocracy isn’t a movie; the longer I live the more I’m convinced that it is real life. We are giants among men I tell you.
 
Lemme just help everybody out here - Satan doesn’t have a pitchfork. Nope. He has a hay fork. That should tell us all how this BS is regarded even by him. It’s a clue.
Actually Satan is some dude that hangs out in every house, everywhere. You just have to deny his cries to feed him, so he stays weak and doesn't have the strength to bother you. Not easy.
 
Most people can deny satan, horns, pitchfork, etc, but what do you do when she walks by in heels and a mini skirt? Hey I’m guilty as everything, but satan is no fool, and he has been playing this game since the beginning of time. Lots of experience.
To quote Hoyt Axton …” The devil deals in dying and he travels in a hearse , he treats you like a dog now , he’d like to treat you worse.”
 
I miss Hoyt, he had some good songs.
I saw Hoyt twice , J.J. Cale , Leon Russell , Willis Alan Ramsey , Steve Fromholz , Rusty Weir and others between Fayetteville, Tulsa , Austin tween 75-79. Fresh out of the Nav ,ended up going to the U of A. Fayetteville…. Great music scene 🍻
Single and felt Free ! 😜 Had a “revolving door“ policy in place , got more ass than a toilet seat . A college degree was also a GI Bill benefit I’ll always appreciate .
Life has been 80-90% awesome. Got that going for me. 👍
 
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