Maggie’s Bagpipes at a funeral

RADcustom

Registered Coonass
Full Member
Minuteman
Jun 1, 2008
1,881
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Louisiana
Bagpiper at Graveside Service

As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky back country.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.

I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man. And as I played 'Amazing Grace,'
the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together.
When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.
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As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."

Apparently, I'm still lost.......
 

bohem

PVA's HMFIC
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Jan 6, 2009
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Re: Bagpipes at a funeral

BS, that joke was written by a woman.

No self-respecting man ever admits that he's lost, nor does he admit he should be asking for directions. He's simply found another way not to arrive on time. This is a learned behavior from the women we associate with as arriving on time is something completely foreign to the gender. As time goes on men begin to accept it and then bow to the pressure of habitual tardiness so much that they begin to show symptoms of such affliction themselves.

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Good one, BTW.
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Fred_C_Dobbs

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Apr 26, 2010
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Re: Bagpipes at a funeral

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: bohem</div><div class="ubbcode-body">BS, that joke was written by a woman.

No self-respecting man ever admits that he's lost, nor does he admit he should be asking for directions....</div></div>
That's why the Children of Israel wandered lost in the desert for 40 years. Even 3300 years ago, men wouldn't stop to ask directions.
 

Megacab

Cunning Linguist
Full Member
Minuteman
Oct 10, 2007
991
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Boston
www.snipershide.com
Re: Bagpipes at a funeral

I want bagpipes played at my funeral by someone who JUST started learning to play them. Along with a rookie accordionist too.

If you're going to be barely remembered in death, at least leave them laughing hysterically!

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