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Maggie’s best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

65nut

Sergeant
Full Member
Minuteman
Jun 14, 2011
169
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beer cheese and fatties
this thread is about people who have told you the biggest line of bullshit and were dead serious.

ok, so today i met with a guy who is a contractor new to the community. here is what he had to say when we started talking shooting.


so today, i had a guy tell me that he can shoot 1.5" groups at one mile with 55 grain fmj's. out of a rock river arms ar 15 with a 36" barrel, with a 1 in 17 twist rate. and get this, outside diameter of 2.5". i asked him what the weight was, 14 pounds he says. i even questioned him several times if he meant 1 in 7 or 1 in 9 or even a 1 in 12.

i asked him what he used for powder, he said, the same stuff they use in 50 bmg rounds. because its the fastest hottest burning powder. and that he gets 3875 fps with the 55 grain fmjs. said the casing gets so hot it melts the mouth.


i asked if he had ever heard of p.o.f. he said he had. and he also said rock river ar's were way better.

i asked if he had any other ar rifles. he said he had an m4 rock river. i asked what the barrel twist was on that, he replied a 1 in 5 twist rate.

he then began to tell me that while he was in ranger sniper school, he made his own rifle in 300 w.m. i asked what action, he replies remington. said he wouldnt use the issued "gun". i then asked long or short action, he replies short action to save on weight. hmmm...i thought. what barrel length i asked, 32" was his reply. ooook. twist rate on it was supposedly 1 in 26.

he then told me that the lt. col. on base and him made a bet. he bet the lt. col. that at 2 miles within 2 shots he could make a hit on a 3" target. so, he says that he made the shot. the bet was supposedly to take his wife on a date.

he also told me that while he was at basic training in the army, that after the first week, he was doing so good, they sent him to ranger camp. not ranger school, but ranger camp.

also said that when he was in the army, they had uavs when he was in panama that could look ahead of his sniper team 1,000 yards for him and he would watch on a hand held screen so his sniper team could see what was ahead of them. he also said that a uav could look down at the ground and give him a horizontal view when it was at 4 miles above the earth. now i have never been in the military, or been a sniper, so i will leave that up to those of you who have been to leave some feedback on that one.

share your encounters of the educated peoples!
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

i got a guy at work who says his .223 rifle came from savage with a 1" at 1000 yard guarentee... and he says he has done it...

this is the same guy who has been planning to retire as soon as the paper industry bounces back because he has thousands of acres of paper trees that he is just "waiting for the right time to cut them all down"
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

I have a weekend warrior for a boss where I work and boy can he spin yarn! a short example, He has on several occassions tried to tell me that he can hold under 1" at 1000 on his 100 acre property with his "Army issued" .50 Barrett!
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

sheesh, what a knuckle head. you cant go to ranger school while in basic hahah. not in my experience at least. We had uav's when i was in, but didnt have a hand held link ups to them. Also, you may not 'make your own rifle" in sniper school. hahahah
also, i went to the last rotation of jotc at fort sherman in panama before it was closed, and uav's were not prevalent at that time....
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

I once met a guy that said his CIA code name was "Agent Orange". He told me his Honda CRX was a specially equipped surveilance vehicle and if I touched it the helicopters from Langley would be after me within 30 minutes. We were in California so I asked him if he meant Beale instead of Langley, "No" he insisted they would be coming from Langley. I said Beale is only a two hour drive away but Langley is 3000 miles away so if they were going to be here in 30 minutes they would have to fly 6000 miles per hour and already be airborne headed this way. I asked what kind of helicopter the CIA had that could fly 6000mph, he said it was classified and I didn't have the clearance. He then told me he was a Korean War fighter ace with 50 plus kills, he said he couldn't give his exact number of kills because some occurred on covert mission against civilian aircraft.
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

I use to work with a guy that swore his savage would shoot half minute....





Lets see if he chimes in. lol
laugh.gif
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

LMAO. What the hell have I been thinking? Shit, I can just use my 223 and should be able to reach out to 2000 yards. Why bother with 338LM.
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

As far as the UAV thing, The Marines and prolly the army too had hand held planes, Drangons eye is what I believe the name was, I was trained to use them but we never actually did across the pond. They was manpacked and took to people to launch. As far as we thought they was fun to play with but gave no great intel cause we was too busey watching the screen to fly it. Range was about 1000 meters and was hell to bring down with .556, easy with the shotgun. And very sussceptable to cross winds and rain. definatly a fair weather POS.

I was also attached to VMU-1 using ,then, the pioneer UAV. ( I think they use the shadow now.) I liked the detail it gave from 3000agls but to hell with what was that you said " Horizonal view" my ass. that image was projected unto a well VHF TV. now we have progressed enough to get digital stills to the troops but not a free flowing image, that is only feed to the Command centers and the flight centers.
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

This is not a story of shooting BS, but it is a doozie. I work with a guy that tells some real tall tales, here is one of his best. He played football for Eastern Michigan in the 70's. He was the "star" quarterback. It gets better. Apparently, they won a national championship. His number was retired and the whole nine yards.

Needless to say, a quick google/wikipedia search proved him wrong. No one really calls him out on his stories. It has be come a running joke where we tell more and more outrageous stories while mimicking his voice.
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Robot Doc</div><div class="ubbcode-body">At that point 168 I would smile and back away slowly! LOL!
</div></div>

I seriously considered hammering the guy verbally but it was obvious he lived in a different reality than the rest of us.
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

Well, there's the guy who lives about a mile from me, as the crow flies who hears and even occasionally sees one of the African hyenas that the Arkansas game and fish snuck into the country and turned loose.

Bob
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

I am retired USAF... but.... when I was in the Armee I use ta fly submarines. Plus we had these cute little nuclear Hand grenades. They only had a 1 mile kill radius but the 2 foot mushroom cloud was AHHsome...
smile.gif
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

65nut when you say contractor I seriously hope you are talking about the type that uses a hammer and nails....

168, please tell me you touched the crx. Next time can you let us know, I want to see these 6000mph helicopters!
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

yes norcal, he was a house building contractor. i wouldnt let him build me a bird house after that story yesterday.
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

I had some dude walk into our Red Cross Chapter, while I was still Health/Safety Director, looking for help. Typical douche, wearing the "Iraq Veteran" hat, with all the pins you can buy, sporadically pinned on. So we start shooting the shit, and of course I question him of where he served, his MOS, etc..

He tells me he was SF in Ramadi, was on team that got Sadaam, and lead the way into Falluja. He also tells me he was SF, tanker, as in M1A2's, this is where my condenscending attitude kicks in. I asked what batt he was in, since he had a Ranger tab on his hat as well, and what group had "tankers" in them. He was in 11th Ranger batt...okay, sure, and 125th SF group, heavy. At this point, I simply told him to get in line like everyone else...
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: 30calsniper</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I use to work with a guy that swore his savage would shoot half minute....





Lets see if he chimes in. lol
laugh.gif
</div></div>


Ahahahah About every savage shooter I meet claims that.
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

I met a guy once who said his Ruger .223 would shoot 5 shot groups that he could cover with a dime at 1000. He owned a gun store. Never went back. It was a heavy barrel stainless, though, so maybe... AG
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

I dare not tell yall how well my $175 Academy closout Savage Stevens 7mm-08 shoots. Filled that crappy hollow buttstock with great stuff and birdshot to balance out the front heavy rifle, and smoothed out the trigger to a 3.5# pull. 3-9x40mm Nikon Prostaff scope. You may not believe, but I worked up a load of 120gr Nosler BT's/Varget/Wolf primers (3100 fps). It will do sub-MOA 5-shot groups easily from sandbags at 100yds. I was so thrilled I went back to buy 3 more of these "beater guns" and they are no more. Go ahead call BS

I will do another load workup with Barnes TSX/TTSX later and post in the reload section. I highly doubt I will match the accuracy of the NBT's but should be a much better hunting round.

Continue on----
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

I once had this guy tell me....
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: DDS260</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I dare not tell yall how well my $175 Academy closout Savage Stevens 7mm-08 shoots. Filled that crappy hollow buttstock with great stuff and birdshot to balance out the front heavy rifle, and smoothed out the trigger to a 3.5# pull. 3-9x40mm Nikon Prostaff scope. You may not believe, but I worked up a load of 120gr Nosler BT's/Varget/Wolf primers (3100 fps). It will do sub-MOA 5-shot groups easily from sandbags at 100yds. I was so thrilled I went back to buy 3 more of these "beater guns" and they are no more. Go ahead call BS

I will do another load workup with Barnes TSX/TTSX later and post in the reload section. I highly doubt I will match the accuracy of the NBT's but should be a much better hunting round.

Continue on---- </div></div>

I am SO glad you posted that here. It fits perfectly!
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

Our local bullshit artist is a 'gunsmith' at a local shop. Well he works there but I doubt he actually smiths anything. He's kind of a local joke amongst the shooting community because of his tales. When I first moved here I didn't know about him and checked the shop out. He told me he can hit the diamond of an ace playing card at 1000 yards first shot every time. Haven't been back since...
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

this isnt as shocking as the other whoppers but i had a guy tell me he killed a deer with a 22mag...but wait, it gets better, it was running and he hit it in the eye(intentionally). i cant remember how far he said it was but i was thinking it was along the lines of 100yds
crazy.gif
most unbelievable story i have is a 4" group @ 100yds with my desert eagle 357mag with a red dot. i have witnesses. federal hydrashock 158gr, belly down on bags.
grin.gif
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Norcal Phoenix</div><div class="ubbcode-body">65nut when you say contractor I seriously hope you are talking about the type that uses a hammer and nails....

168, please tell me you touched the crx. Next time can you let us know, I want to see these 6000mph helicopters! </div></div>

I did touch the CRX, I leaned on it while he was telling me the fighter ace story. He didn't say anything so I let it go, I actually started to feel sorry for the guy the longer he went on telling stories.
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

65nut, That sounds like the same guy I ran into here in WI, or his SeaL brother, as this guy said "When I was in the Seals, they custom built my "AR". It would shoot 3 shot bursts that would touch each other at a half-mile. Every time. Went through 7 barrels in training, but they all could shoot that good". I asked where he went to training. He kind of paused and looked at me and my son. I asked, did you go to San Diego or Virginia Beach (hell, what do I know, I'm a civilian). Seeing an opening he said "Oh, I trained in San Diego but they transferred me to Virginia Beach because I had relatives there". I said that that was nice of them, and parted ways...
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

update on mr ranger sniper man.
so today, i met with him again. said he owned m60's and m48's that were used at d-day. i asked him if he meant mg42s. he said nope, thats not it, they are m60s and m48's. I just had to giggle to myself in my head.

also, this guy is a f.i.b. all the wi guys will know what that is.

remaction, i asked this guy where he did ranger school,i asked if he did it at fort leonardwood missouri,
"YUP! he replies. thats where it was at."

any rangers here? where does ranger school happen? or in his words "ranger camp". what should i ask him next? will be meeting with him again next monday.

also, for the lineman out there, this guy wanted me to run him a temp service right off the transformer to an outlet. no overcurrent protection or anything. i said "fuck no. you need to have a breaker panel with a main or else you are relying on our transformer fuse". he said, well, the trans is fused, what the big deal?
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

Go ahead and hook him up. You'd be doing the gene pool a favor.
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: 30calsniper</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I use to work with a guy that swore his savage would shoot half minute....





Lets see if he chimes in. lol
laugh.gif
</div></div>

It was quarter minute fuckbag, get it right. If you're gonna make shit up, exaggerate.
smile.gif
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

ranger school takes place at camp darby, fort benning, camp merril, dahlonega (spelling?), and camp rudder at eglin air force base. there used to be a desert phase, but its been gone for at least a decade.
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

Keep em coming these are epic.
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: asbestosglove</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I met a guy once who said his Ruger .223 would shoot 5 shot groups that he could cover with a dime at 1000. He owned a gun store. Never went back. It was a heavy barrel stainless, though, so maybe... AG </div></div>

Uh yeah thats pretty easy considering only one of the 5 hit the target. A dime covers a single .223 hole pretty well.
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

My buddy Sam hates when I always talk about this, but I still find it pretty funny. Anyways, in my hometown there's an older gentleman who's a reloader and I always have him make me hot .357 magnum loads for my Security Six. One day I had Sam with me and we were firing those loads and it was his first time shooting them. I said something to the effect of "those have a kick to them huh?" He replies back saying "you think that's bad you should feel a .38 special." I still to this day love bringing that up around him. It's amazing how much shooting he has done with me, but yet doesn't know anything about guns. Although he did learn to pretty much keep his mouth shut when it comes to gun knowledge around me.
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Maser</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My buddy Sam hates when I always talk about this, but I still find it pretty funny. Anyways, in my hometown there's an older gentleman who's a reloader and I always have him make me hot .357 magnum loads for my Security Six. One day I had Sam with me and we were firing those loads and it was his first time shooting them. I said something to the effect of "those have a kick to them huh?" He replies back saying "you think that's bad you should feel a .38 special." I still to this day love bringing that up around him. It's amazing how much shooting he has done with me, but yet doesn't know anything about guns. Although he did learn to pretty much keep his mouth shut when it comes to gun knowledge around me. </div></div>

fk71a9.jpg
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Bernarde</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I have a weekend warrior for a boss where I work and boy can he spin yarn! a short example, He has on several occassions tried to tell me that he can hold under 1" at 1000 on his 100 acre property with his "Army issued" .50 Barrett!</div></div>

I bet he can... What he didn't tell you was that he only shoots one shot groups, so that's .5"!
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">so today, i met with him again. said he owned m60's and m48's that were used at d-day. i asked him if he meant mg42s. he said nope, thats not it, they are m60s and m48's. I just had to giggle to myself in my head.

also, this guy is a f.i.b. all the wi guys will know what that is.

</div></div>

Hey, damnit, I'm an F.I.B. But my M-60 was used on Iwo Jima.
crazy.gif
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

Easy on the FIB talk there 65, lol...
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

HAHAHAHA well f.i.b. has a dual meaning, depending on the person it can either go Fine Illinois Boy, or Fu**in Illinois Bastard.
so judging by the good character of the people on this site, i would say you guys are probably fine illinois boys.
wink.gif
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: guntard007</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I once had this guy tell me....
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: DDS260</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I dare not tell yall how well my $175 Academy closout Savage Stevens 7mm-08 shoots. Filled that crappy hollow buttstock with great stuff and birdshot to balance out the front heavy rifle, and smoothed out the trigger to a 3.5# pull. 3-9x40mm Nikon Prostaff scope. You may not believe, but I worked up a load of 120gr Nosler BT's/Varget/Wolf primers (3100 fps). It will do sub-MOA 5-shot groups easily from sandbags at 100yds. I was so thrilled I went back to buy 3 more of these "beater guns" and they are no more. Go ahead call BS

I will do another load workup with Barnes TSX/TTSX later and post in the reload section. I highly doubt I will match the accuracy of the NBT's but should be a much better hunting round.

Continue on---- </div></div>

I am SO glad you posted that here. It fits perfectly! </div></div>



grin.gif
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

Sounds like the gunsmith we have in crawford.....any chance it's the same guy? <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: High Binder</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Our local bullshit artist is a 'gunsmith' at a local shop. Well he works there but I doubt he actually smiths anything. He's kind of a local joke amongst the shooting community because of his tales. When I first moved here I didn't know about him and checked the shop out. He told me he can hit the diamond of an ace playing card at 1000 yards first shot every time. Haven't been back since... </div></div>
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Short-bus</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: 30calsniper</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I use to work with a guy that swore his savage would shoot half minute....





Lets see if he chimes in. lol
laugh.gif
</div></div>

It was quarter minute fuckbag, get it right. If you're gonna make shit up, exaggerate.
smile.gif
</div></div>

I wanted to at least make it plausible.... haha!!!
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

I was working at a summer camp over the summer. One of the kids was a 11yr old African American from the country said he was a professional BMXer but he couldn't remember what kind of bike he rode. He said he went to china to ride and won the world championship.

Turns out nobody believed him till they googled him and he was the national rider in his class and won the world championship in his class.
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

I would help a friend in his gunshop a few days a week, so im behind the counter and this guy comes in with a rifle, says that something is wrong with his scope and wants us to look at it, So I look at it and ask him who mounted the scope on the rifle, he says he did, and before i could say anything else he goes into how he was a Marine Sniper in vietnam, with like 60 confirmed kills and how he knows his way around a rifle, and all the good bs, so I just sit there listening to him spew his crap and when he is done i look at him and tell him its on backward's he looks at me picks up his rifle without saying a word and walks out the door never to return
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: OBXLongRange</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I was working at a summer camp over the summer. One of the kids was a 11yr old African American from the country said he was a professional BMXer but he couldn't remember what kind of bike he rode. He said he went to china to ride and won the world championship.

Turns out nobody believed him till they googled him and he was the national rider in his class and won the world championship in his class. </div></div>

I bet everybody felt a little dumber after that google search!
Good for him though.
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

i work with a guy who has a browning bolt action B.A.R. rifle 50 cal that was a sniper rifle in korea
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

I know a guy, used to be a member of a large agency SWAT team (not the bullshit part, but you'll wonder...). He went through several private and the FBI's sniper schools. I thought he was "the shit" until one day he told me that he doesn't like to use the current issue duty ammo (168 gr Fed GM) for his sniper rifle (an HS, chambered in 308) because it has hollow points. I wasn't sure what he was getting at, so naturally, I asked him why. He goes on to explain how hollow point bullets are the least accurate bullet, and that he only uses them because of the damage they can cause.

I resisted the urge to explain the virtues of the Federal GM load and that his premise was completely skewed, figuring him to be a lost cause. I did show him the Sierra load manual and pointed out their disclaimer about match king bullets not to be used for hunting. I just hope I don't ever require his "services" as a marksman.
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: aloreman</div><div class="ubbcode-body">she said she was clean </div></div>

HAHAHAHAHAA, that's a good one.
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

I love you long time. Well, I thought she was serious.
 
Re: best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

I was recently shopping for a used car with my brother. I was looking at the car and noticed a round sticker that was removed next to the ignition, classic rental car give away.

But anyways after pointing out that this was a rental and we weren't interested. He said that we are lucky, as "most people WANT to buy ex-rental cars. Since they know that all the services were done on time."