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Best time going through airport security in 21 years.

Cowpokey

MSgt, USAF Ret
Full Member
Minuteman
  • May 1, 2020
    4,798
    25,687
    Bel Air, MD
    So there I was (BWI 4am Monday morning), lining up for the security check point, after using the kiosk to print my boarding passes and check my bag.

    They put the strap thing up to stop twenty of us from proceeding to the metal detectors and x-ray machine for carry-on bags. The rent a cop says, we're going to put you through another process, and let the K9 screen you, as long as you get through that without a K9 alert, you don't have to take anything (laptop) out of your carry-on, don't need to take off your shoes, no need to remove your hat, or jacket, you'll just go right though.

    So, the twenty of us stand there for about 10 minutes, give or take, then they line us up double file, we walk the gauntlet as the K9 does figure 8's around us, and we get right though. The 10 minutes of standing in the cattle line was well worth it, took maybe 15 minutes total for all of us to get though...nobody scrambling around looking for a shoe, or trying to put them on while you're trying to get your bag off the conveyor belt.

    Lets have more of this! Anyone else done this?
     
    I got screened for explosives once by what I can only assume was the dude that played Sloth in Goonies.

    Branden
    Sat my range bag on top of the the fiancées suitcase a few days before a flight unloading the truck and got her screened.

    No one laughed as hard as me when I realized it.
     
    I was going through in another country a couple years ago (I haven't gone anywhere post COVID). Anyway a younger (mid 20's) girl was working and she directed security to have me escorted to her line. I was pulled out of line (with at least 30 people ahead of me) and taken to another line with nobody else there. The girl talked to me for a minute and semi sort of acted like she was checking my belongings, and then she gave me a card with her name and phone number written on the back of it and instructed me to call her.

    From exiting the plane to sitting on the other side of Customs took about 10 minutes tops.
     
    I was going through in another country a couple years ago (I haven't gone anywhere post COVID). Anyway a younger (mid 20's) girl was working and she directed security to have me escorted to her line. I was pulled out of line (with at least 30 people ahead of me) and taken to another line with nobody else there. The girl talked to me for a minute and semi sort of acted like she was checking my belongings, and then she gave me a card with her name and phone number written on the back of it and instructed me to call her.

    From exiting the plane to sitting on the other side of Customs took about 10 minutes tops.
    She's carefully selecting potential husbands, deciding if she wants half of whats in the suitcase, to get her out of that country. You made the cut.
     
    So there I was (BWI 4am Monday morning), lining up for the security check point, after using the kiosk to print my boarding passes and check my bag.

    They put the strap thing up to stop twenty of us from proceeding to the metal detectors and x-ray machine for carry-on bags. The rent a cop says, we're going to put you through another process, and let the K9 screen you, as long as you get through that without a K9 alert, you don't have to take anything (laptop) out of your carry-on, don't need to take off your shoes, no need to remove your hat, or jacket, you'll just go right though.

    So, the twenty of us stand there for about 10 minutes, give or take, then they line us up double file, we walk the gauntlet as the K9 does figure 8's around us, and we get right though. The 10 minutes of standing in the cattle line was well worth it, took maybe 15 minutes total for all of us to get though...nobody scrambling around looking for a shoe, or trying to put them on while you're trying to get your bag off the conveyor belt.

    Lets have more of this! Anyone else done this?
    "Anyone else done this?"

    Yep. The last time I flew I did something even better than this.

    I know it is hard to believe, but I just walked to the gate and got on the plane . . . of course, that was a LONG time ago . . . and I haven't flown since.

    I drive - or I don't go.

    Period.

    (The stories I could tell the youth of today.)
     
    Sat my range bag on top of the the fiancées suitcase a few days before a flight unloading the truck and got her screened.

    No one laughed as hard as me when I realized it.
    As far as I can tell, gunfire residue doesn't set off the detectors. I've traveled in the past with the 3DAP as my only luggage, several times just left the computer and clothes in the hotel room while I have range stuff in the bag and use it as a rest. Seen them, more than once, do the explosives swab right over visible carbon from the muzzle: green light, no hit.

    Have gotten red light off stuff that's never had explosives or loud chemicals nearby. Stupid things like soap (yes, I wash my luggage sometimes) do cause false positives. It's all pointless, entirely theater to make everyone feel safe. TSA, and most of DHS, needs to be not reorganized but abolished.
     
    • Like
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    So there I was (BWI 4am Monday morning), lining up for the security check point, after using the kiosk to print my boarding passes and check my bag.

    They put the strap thing up to stop twenty of us from proceeding to the metal detectors and x-ray machine for carry-on bags. The rent a cop says, we're going to put you through another process, and let the K9 screen you, as long as you get through that without a K9 alert, you don't have to take anything (laptop) out of your carry-on, don't need to take off your shoes, no need to remove your hat, or jacket, you'll just go right though.

    So, the twenty of us stand there for about 10 minutes, give or take, then they line us up double file, we walk the gauntlet as the K9 does figure 8's around us, and we get right though. The 10 minutes of standing in the cattle line was well worth it, took maybe 15 minutes total for all of us to get though...nobody scrambling around looking for a shoe, or trying to put them on while you're trying to get your bag off the conveyor belt.

    Lets have more of this! Anyone else done this?
    I live in the communist state of MD and was a traveling comp skeet shooter for many years. BWI is TSA’s test bed airport and IMO has been the easiest to fly out of w gun, etc. NSSA Shooting Center is in San Antonio where they hold skeet and sporting clays wold champ comps and even though thousands of shotguns go thru there every year, last I was there their process absolutely sucked. Had to check in, then haul the fucking thing down the hall for some jerkoff to examine and swipe it down and check for WTF knows what.

    As for TSA check points, I have a known travel number and it makes the experience much better.
     
    We stood in line in Orlando for 2 hours before they opened the dog line. Holy shit did it start moving fast.

    I'd be all for just a dog screening every time. TSA has proven to be incompetent idiots anyways.
     
    The TSA does 100% screening. If you look at regression analysis, they should really be looking at 2 or 3% sampling depending on the results of the sample.
     
    • Like
    Reactions: shoobe01
    So there I was (BWI 4am Monday morning), lining up for the security check point, after using the kiosk to print my boarding passes and check my bag.

    They put the strap thing up to stop twenty of us from proceeding to the metal detectors and x-ray machine for carry-on bags. The rent a cop says, we're going to put you through another process, and let the K9 screen you, as long as you get through that without a K9 alert, you don't have to take anything (laptop) out of your carry-on, don't need to take off your shoes, no need to remove your hat, or jacket, you'll just go right though.

    So, the twenty of us stand there for about 10 minutes, give or take, then they line us up double file, we walk the gauntlet as the K9 does figure 8's around us, and we get right though. The 10 minutes of standing in the cattle line was well worth it, took maybe 15 minutes total for all of us to get though...nobody scrambling around looking for a shoe, or trying to put them on while you're trying to get your bag off the conveyor belt.

    Lets have more of this! Anyone else done this?
    Clicking the thread title I fully expected a story about how you were groped by a tranny.
     
    I live in the communist state of MD and was a traveling comp skeet shooter for many years. BWI is TSA’s test bed airport and IMO has been the easiest to fly out of w gun, etc. NSSA Shooting Center is in San Antonio where they hold skeet and sporting clays wold champ comps and even though thousands of shotguns go thru there every year, last I was there their process absolutely sucked. Had to check in, then haul the fucking thing down the hall for some jerkoff to examine and swipe it down and check for WTF knows what.

    As for TSA check points, I have a known travel number and it makes the experience much better.
    Is your "known travel number" a card you carry, a chain you wear, or a tattoo on your arm?
    ;)
     
    Is your "known travel number" a card you carry, a chain you wear, or a tattoo on your arm?
    ;)
    Yeah, it’s tattooed on my ass…wanna see? ;)

    I traveled quite a bit for business and traveling with a shotgun for skeet tournaments and its been quite handy.

    I have also been a USAF officer and worked as a civilian in a good number of secured facilities all of which required background checks and ID/access cards to get in.

    But....you are absolutely free to pull off your shoes, belt, unpack your shit, etc to make a statement for freedom :rolleyes:
     
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    Takes me about 2 minutes most times. Worst airport is SEA - usually is 5 minutes. Global Entry and Elite status go a long way.

    I helped shovel out a broken fertilizer buggy full of triple-17 at my in-law's farm once. Changed clothes and threw the dirty ones in the SUV on my work backpack. Lots of little fertilizer granules all over. Then flew home that night with that back pack. That definitely set something off and I got pulled out and escorted to a room for the Endless Swab with two kitted LEO officers bracketing me. The TSA tech kept swabbing me and the backpack and laptop getting positive readings and then ran stuff through over and over again. I had a ton of time so kept my mouth shut to let things develop out of curiosity. Finally the dog showed up and looked bored and they let me through.

    The airlines know who you are even if you fly for the first time. There is a lot of screening going on before you even get to the airport.
     
    We stood in line in Orlando for 2 hours before they opened the dog line. Holy shit did it start moving fast.

    I'd be all for just a dog screening every time. TSA has proven to be incompetent idiots anyways.

    Well they do a OK job of screening. But that's too late for most of the bigger threats.

    I'd like to see hunter teams or "hostesses" mingling in the baggage check points and in the lines and the same in the gate area.
     
    The first time I flew, walked to the gate showed my boarding pass, and strolled down the tramway. It's a shame we have to go through the bullshit, but I don't really want to be on a highjacked plane either.
     
    As far as I can tell, gunfire residue doesn't set off the detectors. I've traveled in the past with the 3DAP as my only luggage, several times just left the computer and clothes in the hotel room while I have range stuff in the bag and use it as a rest. Seen them, more than once, do the explosives swab right over visible carbon from the muzzle: green light, no hit.

    Have gotten red light off stuff that's never had explosives or loud chemicals nearby. Stupid things like soap (yes, I wash my luggage sometimes) do cause false positives. It's all pointless, entirely theater to make everyone feel safe. TSA, and most of DHS, needs to be not reorganized but abolished.
    i got flagged a day after a range day and popped positive when swabbed my hands. Got the good ole full body for that one.
     
    • Like
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    The first time I flew, walked to the gate showed my boarding pass, and strolled down the tramway. It's a shame we have to go through the bullshit, but I don't really want to be on a highjacked plane either.
    “Those who would give up essential liberty, to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.” Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

    Safety is gov’t speak for we are about to fuck you. A man is never safer during or after government intervention. He is only weaker and poorer.
     
    “Those who would give up essential liberty, to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.” Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

    Safety is gov’t speak for we are about to fuck you. A man is never safer during or after government intervention. He is only weaker and poorer.
    I'm not the one giving up liberty, for safety. I didn't make the rules, and when I need to travel for work...which pays for my livelihood, there aren't many options. Would I drive across the country and tear up my vehicle, rather than stand in line for 15 minutes? I'd rather have my own vehicle, but flogging a rental car is worth the time saved.
     
    I'm not the one giving up liberty, for safety. I didn't make the rules, and when I need to travel for work...which pays for my livelihood, there aren't many options. Would I drive across the country and tear up my vehicle, rather than stand in line for 15 minutes? I'd rather have my own vehicle, but flogging a rental car is worth the time saved.
    I only posted that because of your comment almost justifying the police/surveillance state by reciting the lie authoritarians in power used to crack down not on plane high jackers but everyday Americans. You are correct, you didn’t make the rules. A handful of criminals did as they always do while stupid people, myself included, willfully and foolishly obey them because we were brainwashed since birth to do so unquestionably.
    It's a shame we have to go through the bullshit, but I don't really want to be on a highjacked plane either.

    The only safety those in government “leadership” positions care about is their own. Every decision made on our behalf by the criminals that run countries, simply redistributes power, wealth, and control from the people to them. They gain and we lose.

    The patriot act that was likely pre written legislation for an attack that heads of the state knew was coming if not setup themselves. It stripped Americans of privacy and dignity and was recently used to not only remove an elected president but to hunt down and lock up protestors of the obviously fraudulent election resulting in an unconstitutional commander and chief that controls the military you were once part of among many other things. Sad direction the world is heading and has been for a long time.

    The good news is that now the weaponized american gov’t is now willing to run it’s slave class through unconstitutional inspection lines at a higher rate of speed and we should all give thanks to our overlords for caring enough to do so.
     
    Last edited:
    One of these days I might grow a pair big enough to try putting this alarm clock in my carry-on. ;)

    ULIFE049400_01_L.jpg
     
    Obama said that is a clock. If they hassle you over it claim racism. You will have to change your name to akmed before you get an invite to the white house though
    One of these days I might grow a pair big enough to try putting this alarm clock in my carry-on. ;)

    ULIFE049400_01_L.jpg
     
    I fly nearly weekly, out of MSP.

    It’s hit and miss whether the dogs are on the prowl, but having status with Delta allows me to walk past most of the TSA line.

    It doesn’t allow me to get out of walking past the super sniffers.

    I’m in ATL this morning.

    The number of people in the “Clear” line who are paying to get back some of their privacy rights, outnumbered those in the priority line by about ten to one.

    And the TSA pre check people aren’t any better, still paying for less invasion of their privacy while flying.

    Clear and PreCheck are only more proof that you can buy your rights from .gov
     
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    i got flagged a day after a range day and popped positive when swabbed my hands. Got the good ole full body for that one.
    Wow....oh, maybe 20 years ago I worked as a PM for Motorola as a PM building large scale land mobile radio systems for Fed/Mil customers. At one point, I had a very large...really kind of gold plated...project for NIH in Bethesda, MD. Security was tight and every time I drove my Ford Explorer onto the campus they swabbed areas in the back, the rear hatch gaskets, etc.

    Now, at that time I was an avid competitive (well, I competed and let's leave it at that) skeet shooter and the back of that SUV routinely had guns, loaded ammo, reloading supplies, fired hulls, etc tossed in there.

    Not once did any of cause an alert. I was told that smokeless powder did not alarm their testing...not what they were looking for.

    Apparently, TSA's testing is different? But, I also traveled to shoots and took my range bag as carry on...once again, never alerted anything.

    Could you possibly have handled something else prior that caused an alert other than just shooting??

    Cheers
     
    • Like
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    I left a fully loaded 30 round AR mag in my bag with 300BO once.
    As I saw my bag go through the X-ray I saw it and nearly shit a brick.

    Told me they were taking the ammo but I could mail the magazine to myself for like $50.

    I laughed.
    I told the guy the ammo was worth way more than the $10 mag.
     
    I left a fully loaded 30 round AR mag in my bag with 300BO once.
    As I saw my bag go through the X-ray I saw it and nearly shit a brick.

    Told me they were taking the ammo but I could mail the magazine to myself for like $50.

    I laughed.
    I told the guy the ammo was worth way more than the $10 mag.
    They should’ve let you determine what should happen with property legally owned by you, i.e. let you call someone to come get it.

    You were divested of property legally owned by you.

    Could’ve raised hell about it….
     
    They should’ve let you determine what should happen with property legally owned by you, i.e. let you call someone to come get it.

    You were divested of property legally owned by you.

    Could’ve raised hell about it….
    There was nobody around close to call. And honestly I wouldn’t have inconvenienced family and friends for what it was.
    I was honestly surprised they didn’t raise hell at me but they didn’t.
    Probably see that sort of thing all the time.
     
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    I would rather attend a Biden rally than set foot in an airport or airplane. And I am a former pilot. They have turned it into the most unpleasant experience imaginable. Starting with the premise that you are a terrorist subject to all kinds of intrusive searches, the stupid fucking masks, the zero customer service and open disdain shown by the airlines. Then you gotta hope the ticket you paid $1K plus for is still valid and your flight hasn't been canceled with zero warning, explanation, or fucks given. No thanks, I'll drive.
     
    There was nobody around close to call. And honestly I wouldn’t have inconvenienced family and friends for what it was.
    I was honestly surprised they didn’t raise hell at me but they didn’t.
    Probably see that sort of thing all the time.
    If you’d had time, you could’ve taken it back to your vehicle.

    It’s not uncommon for people to forget about guns in their bags. I get called about it all the time. People make mistakes.
     
    I would rather attend a Biden rally than set foot in an airport or airplane. And I am a former pilot. They have turned it into the most unpleasant experience imaginable. Starting with the premise that you are a terrorist subject to all kinds of intrusive searches, the stupid fucking masks, the zero customer service and open disdain shown by the airlines. Then you gotta hope the ticket you paid $1K plus for is still valid and your flight hasn't been canceled with zero warning, explanation, or fucks given. No thanks, I'll drive.
    The masks are gone. Unfortunately the rest of the shit show is still the same.
     
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    The first time I flew, walked to the gate showed my boarding pass, and strolled down the tramway. It's a shame we have to go through the bullshit, but I don't really want to be on a highjacked plane either.
    Not tying to be a prick but that's literally the definition of giving up liberty (ability to travel without hinderance) for perceived safety (TSA security).

    How many terrorists has the TSA stopped? Would a plane hijacker rather deal with a set security system at an airport or an unknown number of individuals on a plane with weapons who want to stop you?
     
    Not tying to be a prick but that's literally the definition of giving up liberty (ability to travel without hinderance) for perceived safety (TSA security).

    How many terrorists has the TSA stopped? Would a plane hijacker rather deal with a set security system at an airport or an unknown number of individuals on a plane with weapons who want to stop you?
    TSA is just the visible portion of the layered security system. I’ve literally arrested people at the bottom of the jetway.
     
    Around 2012 I picked up a few pmags in FL and had them in my carry-on (empty and still in the sealed packaging). TSA saw them on the x-ray and immediately went nuts. Pulled all my crap out of my bag, started photographing all my stuff. A local LEO on duty overhead their histrionics, came over and chatted with me for a few. As it turned out, he was supportive of shooting sports. He managed to wrangle the mags away from TSA, got them and my bag back to me, told me to put them in my bag and check my bag instead. If they gave me any more shit, he would mail them to me.

    Six months later I got a nasty-gram from DHS. I wish I could find that letter so I could frame it. Thankfully I haven't had any problems flying after that.
     
    It's all illusion. If you could see the statistics on just how poorly TSA performs, you would be disgusted. Don't bother looking behind the curtain...nothing to see here.
     
    Declared an unloaded gun at SEATAC and had to go to another private counter where she swabbed my undies for residue but not my hands. Never opened the safe to see my gun. Security theater only.
     
    Wow....oh, maybe 20 years ago I worked as a PM for Motorola as a PM building large scale land mobile radio systems for Fed/Mil customers. At one point, I had a very large...really kind of gold plated...project for NIH in Bethesda, MD. Security was tight and every time I drove my Ford Explorer onto the campus they swabbed areas in the back, the rear hatch gaskets, etc.

    Now, at that time I was an avid competitive (well, I competed and let's leave it at that) skeet shooter and the back of that SUV routinely had guns, loaded ammo, reloading supplies, fired hulls, etc tossed in there.

    Not once did any of cause an alert. I was told that smokeless powder did not alarm their testing...not what they were looking for.

    Apparently, TSA's testing is different? But, I also traveled to shoots and took my range bag as carry on...once again, never alerted anything.

    Could you possibly have handled something else prior that caused an alert other than just shooting??

    Cheers
    I just always assumed because it happened back to back. Very well May have been just a coincidence. Or, maybe my Johnson is radioactive. Who knows
     
    • Haha
    Reactions: Baron23
    Not tying to be a prick but that's literally the definition of giving up liberty (ability to travel without hinderance) for perceived safety (TSA security).

    How many terrorists has the TSA stopped? Would a plane hijacker rather deal with a set security system at an airport or an unknown number of individuals on a plane with weapons who want to stop you?
    I don't make the fucking rules. How do you suggest I get from the east coast to the west coast, in one day of travel, without flying commercial? My employer, and your tax dollars, aren't going to charter a private jet for my ass, as it is I have to buy the cheapest airline ticket available within reason.
     
    • Like
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    Leaving Vegas I was fairly intoxicated and forgot to remove something from my pocket. The TSA idiot showed me the x-ray picture and pointed to the object. I removed it and showed it to him and he responded that he was going to have to search me. I said that according to the x-ray he could see that I didn't have anything else. He said that it was procedure. So I responded with the " It's not gay if you're TSA" and "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas". I unbuttoned my shorts and dropped them to my feet and pulled my shirt off and said "have at it big boy". Lots of laughs from everyone nearby except from my wife. She was sure that I was not getting on any plane and was trying to figure out how to get back to TN. When I asked if he wanted me to drop my draws so he could get a better feel. He said "you're good, go ahead on".
    The wife informed me that on the flight when they started serving drinks that she waved them off and said I'd had enough. Please don't wake him unless they wanted a party to break out on the flight.
    Good times!!
     
    • Haha
    Reactions: Cowpokey
    I don't make the fucking rules. How do you suggest I get from the east coast to the west coast, in one day of travel, without flying commercial? My employer, and your tax dollars, aren't going to charter a private jet for my ass, as it is I have to buy the cheapest airline ticket available within reason.
    Totally agree, your original post just sounded like you were amenable to the current situation. I’m precheck so believe me, I’m working within the system too but that doesn’t mean I agree with it.

    I’d much rather have the liberty to travel freely at the risk of increased hijackings (because in that situation I would have better odds to impact the situation)