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Maggie’s church and kids

garrett4

Sergeant
Full Member
Minuteman
Jul 30, 2004
216
40
65
oak ridge tn
Some real funny ones here


KIDS IN CHURCH
3-year-old Reese :
'Our Father, Who does art in heaven,
Harold is His name.
Amen.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A little boy was overheard praying:
'Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it..
I'm having a real good time like I am.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After the christening of his baby brother in church,
Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied,
'That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home,
And I wanted to stay with you guys.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One particular four-year-old prayed,
'And forgive us our trash baskets
As we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they
Were on the way to church service,
'And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?'
One bright little girl replied,
'Because people are sleeping.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3.
The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.
'If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,
'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said,
' Ryan , you be Jesus !'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A father was at the beach with his children
When the four-year-old son ran up to him,
Grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore
Where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
'Daddy, what happened to him?' the son asked.
'He died and went to Heaven,' the Dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said,
'Did God throw him back down?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A wife invited some people to dinner.
At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,
'Would you like to say the blessing?'
'I wouldn't know what to say,' the girl replied.
'Just say what you hear Mommy say,' the wife answered....
The daughter bowed her head and said,
'Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And if you don't send this to at least 8 people ----- who cares?!
Peace, love and happiness










 
Re: church and kids

That is great I was reading this to my wife as she was working on the baby's room she is still laughing.

Oh and we are less than a week away from the due day I cant wait for my son to be born.
 
Re: church and kids

308, you had your wife working on the baby room with less than a week left on the oven timer? might have to ask you for pointers next time mines pregnant. lol. good one by the way.
 
Re: church and kids

She was just going threw all the gifts we got at the baby shower.
the room has been ready for a few weeks now we are just waiting on her dad to finish staining and sealing the crib.
 
Re: church and kids

Sounds ALL TOO FAMILIAR!

I'm doing the same thing dude...

Just finished laying bamboo flooring, staining beds, & painting walls for both the girl's room & the baby room...

got 2wks left
 
Re: church and kids

in all actuallity, i had to stop her from doing shit. we're both military, both have been deployed, and are both stubborn hard headed people. we'd go out shopping and she'd start carrying groceries in. i told her i was going to chain her to the stove to keep her from carrying shit, and she made a wise crack like "yeah, thats where a woman should be anyway, right? dick." thats why i love her.
 
Re: church and kids

Reminds me of Good Friday service a few years ago. My girlfriends kid was about 3-4 at the time. At the end of the service the pastor slammed the bible shut with a loud noise after "it is finished". The kid says in a loud voice "Jesus was shot?" You could see people all over shaking from trying not to laugh out loud.
 
Re: church and kids

I worked with a lady that had a cute little 5 year old girl and she was telling the story of a recent church visit at Easter. The pastor had all the little children up front of the church and was telling the Easter story. After he finished he was going along talking to the children. He stuck the mic in my friend's daughters face and said "Thats a pretty dress you have on." and my friends daughter replied "Yea, but mama says its a bitch to iron." LMAO
 
Re: church and kids

My wifes due date was/is today and I still cant get her to rest. Like a damn machine I tell ya. Good post btw.