Craazy stuff at work

[rsee03]

With 20 years in the military people were always doing crazy shit to each other when the boredom sets in but my I got a family member that beat all the stuff we ever did.

He works in a limestone mine. One day they had a guy go into the porta-potty so they drove a truck up to the entrance and blocked him in there for 6 hours that day. But when he told one guy took a shit in another guys lunch bucket I lost it.

Any other good ones to beat that shit.

 

[cavscout1983]

Re: Craazy stuff at work

we CS'ed our Platoon Leader and held his door on the CHU closed when we heard him watching porn. All in good fun.

In OSUT (Basic and AIT combined for combat arms) we had two guys that were just unlikeable and so every time we changed linens the Platoon Guide or a Squad leader would distract the two guys and the entire platoon would file through and we would rub their pillow cases on our balls and ass.

My roommate in the barracks at Stewart was on his way out and had an annoying habit of eating my food. We were doing a lot of 1-3 day field problems before we deployed and I had a pizza in the fridge, only gone in the field one day, came back and it was gone and dude left $2 in the box. Next time I went to the field, I left a pizza in there and told him not to eat it ( hey, I warned him). What he didn't know was I had taken off each piece of pepperoni, and spread snot, pubes, jizz, and a little piss. Microwaved each piece to get the cheese melted again and stuck it back in the fridge. Came back and pizza was gone. I made him pay me for the pizza. Alexander Sapp, if you are out there, you paid to eat my pubes, snot, piss, and cum. Thanks, fuckstick.

 

[HOGGHEAD]

Re: Craazy stuff at work

When I was in college I worked for a house builder. We had a plumber who was a pretty big guy with red hair. He also had a big red beard. One of the big hairy type beards if you know what I mean. One day we were putting down a floor on a home with no basement-only a crawl space. Well one of the guys had to take a shit---real bad. So instead of running up into the woods he just sat on one of the floor joists and shit down into the crawl space. We then finished putting down the floor. Two days later we were putting up the trusses on the second floor. We heard a horrific noise, and then a guy was screaming. What happened was the big bearded red head was crawling through the crawl space and ran his hairy beard right into the pile of shit the guy left in the crawl space. His whole beard was covered. It was about the funniest thing I think I have ever seen. But the big guy went nuts. He wanted to kill the guy who did it, but he did not know who did it. He would not let us down off the trusses---he wanted to FIGHT. After about 45 minutes of a bad scene(I was still laughing) he figured out who did it. And he beat the guy up pretty good, and shoved some shit in his face(to me that was funny too). Big red got fired, but he got his revenge.

Shitting in a lunch bucket is funny to every one but the guy who owns the bucket. However it is a good thing you guys do not work in the coal mines. Because it happens about every other day in the mines. Tom.

 

[ArcticLight]

Re: Craazy stuff at work

Had a guy that was keeping his job and proud of it as we all got laid off. He bragged about being a japanese-Mexican and that's why he got to keep his job.

He bragged about how he got to also keep the fancy new 386 computer too.

Left him a lil application on the computer - calculated it would run for 63 days before croaking. The program removed itself before rendering the computer useless as well.

64th day - got a call from him asking for help fixing it and told him to go fuck himself, find a japanese mexican to help him fix it...

 

[kraigWY]

Re: Craazy stuff at work

I dont know if this fits in the FUNNY catagory or not but here goes:

I was in the NG and just took over a CO of a "hug and suck" company. At the same time, my full time job was civilian LE, which I was a member of the Bomb Squad. We were issued our patrol cars, and enchouraged to use them off duty (putting cops on the street without having to pay them) Being on the Bomb squad I was constantly on call so I kept some "stuff" in the car just in case.

OK back to the Guard. As I said, I just was assigned as the company commander. I got a call from the AGs office, the Adj Gen wanted to see the last three years status reports, seems there was a problem with the last commander.

But, the safe was locked, the combination hadnt been changed for the change of commanders yet. I told the first sgt to get it openned, I need the status reports NOW.

Turns out, the problem wasnt with the ex-CO but the first sgt, (whom I fired a short time later).

Anyway, the first shirt knew something was up and had all kinds of excuses why he couldnt open the safe. I told him to open it or I would. He thought I was bluffing until I started taping C-4 to the henges and lock. Still he hesitated.

He had a change of heart when he saw the sparks flying off the safty fuse. I pulled the fuse and he openned the safe.

After that, I didnt have any problems with anyone in the company, they desided that If I said I would do something, I would.

Later, when I left the company to take over the state marksmanship unit, the Grp Commander asked me over drinks, if I would have really blown the safe.

I simple explained to him that this was State Property, and since I was the property book officer, It was mine. I couldnt be charged with distroying my own property as long as no one was in danger (I did clear the building), especally when it comes to openning "my safe" to get items "my boss" demanded.

Yes, I would have blown the safe in a heart beat. I would have never had any respect as a commander if I didnt.

 

[Greg Langelius *]

Re: Craazy stuff at work

I worked at a place that will remain nameless, and shortly after she hired me, the boss lady took a real dislike for me. I basically ignored the BS and just got on with my job. Turned out she was a dedicated Feminazi, ran her own Business Sorority and everything. Guys in her department either kissed her ass or sucked hind tit. I refused to do either. No thunder and lightning, I just did the job and left it at that.

I never got a good review, I never got a raise, I never got a Christmas bonus that everyone else got. When the department moved, allowances were made to allow people relocation reimbursement, based on their georahical residential location. She managed to get the line drawn exactly one block away from my home, against my favor.

Her boss and his boss knew what was happening, and they managed to thwart most of here more egregious shennanigans. I wasn't making terrible money, the job was interesting, and I just hung in there for spite.

Well, every St. Valentine's day, I would manage to sneak a box of candy onto every woman's desk in the department. Nobody ever figured out who The Phantom was. It became a tradition and a bit of a mystery, all at the same time.

Eventually, the boss lady managed to pry me loose from the company. She had to divide the department into two, made me teh junior person in one, then arranged to do a one person layoff. Guess who.

Two days before the next Valentine's Day, one of my buddies called me up to ask if I was, indeed, The Phantom. I told him I'd answer on one condition.

That condition was that the Boss Lady was never again to receive any candy from The Phantom.

Never knew whether he kept my condition. Never knew, never cared...

What I do know is that after I left, she never got another promotion, and never got another raise. She retired two years after I left, came down soon after with cancer, and it killed her. I offer no opinion.

Greg

 

[chris112]

Re: Craazy stuff at work

There was a gal at one job that you could set your watch by. 9:30 every Thursday morning she was headed to the dock to see if her special orders were off the truck yet. I could understand the first time, maybe the next couple of times but this went on for at least 9 months. After a certain point it was more about giving the person in charge of the dock a ration of crap that he didn't deserve than it was about her special orders.

Hogghead: Yes, that guy should have been fired but so should the one that left his "present" down there.

 

[mexicanmatch]

Re: Craazy stuff at work

On one of the tugs i worked on we had a guy that would always eat others goodies. When ever we got into a port that had a store near by we would hit it and stock up on junk food. well one day we found a bakery and went nuts buying stuff. And sure as shit stuff turned up missing, next time we hit that port to the bake shop we went. One of the guys went to the store and bought some x-lax and put it in the freezer. We had one piece of some kind of chocolate pastry left so we took the x-lax and shaved it real fine on top of this thing and you would think it was made that way, stuck it in the fridge and waited. We damn near killed the guy because of all the x-lax we used. Capt got a kick out of it and fired the guy because he could not stand his watch and no body would stand in for him.

 

[chadg]

Re: Craazy stuff at work

Damn mm that must be a very old towboat trick.Almost the same story as yours except we did the ex-lax with a choclate oreo cheese cake.....we used a whole bar melted down in the oreo shell.The damn thing was it was crew change day and he had to ride almost 600 miles in a crew van and he ate the whole pie the night before he got off the boat...We seen the crew van driver about a week later he said he stopped about every 10 miles UNTIL there was no place to stop.....Well you can guess the rest of the story..

 

[SigSense]

Re: Craazy stuff at work

We had a nazi First Sergeant at my first duty station. He was always conducting no-notice barracks inspections. One day, while he was TDY, we snuck in his office and superglued each and every piece of paper, pen, nameplate, etc in/around his desk. I heard it was hilarious when he returned.

 

[eddieo]

Re: Craazy stuff at work

When i got out of the army i took a job , short term in a company that sold electrical generators and power equipment etc..

There was one guy who was a total prick who appeared to make it his business to piss people off. he had a nice new jade green BMW 320i that he was very proud off. By sheer coincidence one day he pissed me off and someone blew up that nice new jade green BMW with a 3kg Thermide bomb which was ignited with a phosporus and magnesium oxide fuse the following day..

Well thats what the fire department guy told me........

 

[rsee03]

Re: Craazy stuff at work

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SigSense</div><div class="ubbcode-body">We had a nazi First Sergeant at my first duty station. He was always conducting no-notice barracks inspections. One day, while he was TDY, we snuck in his office and superglued each and every piece of paper, pen, nameplate, etc in/around his desk. I heard it was hilarious when he returned. </div></div>

That's hilarious. Would've loved to see that!

 

[rero360]

Re: Craazy stuff at work

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SigSense</div><div class="ubbcode-body">We had a nazi First Sergeant at my first duty station. He was always conducting no-notice barracks inspections. One day, while he was TDY, we snuck in his office and superglued each and every piece of paper, pen, nameplate, etc in/around his desk. I heard it was hilarious when he returned. </div></div>

That reminds me of a story my dad used to tell about when he was in college, one of the guys on his floor left for the weekend so they broke into his room and shrink wrapped everything on his desk to it as well as the bedding on his bed and then proceeded to bolt all the furniture in his room to the ceiling. I guess stuff like that tends to happen when you put a group of engineers together. He also told me of a time they filled a guy's dorm room up with toilet paper and paper towels.