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Crank calls selling you something--Foul Mike's telephone hour

Foul Mike

Gunny Sergeant
Full Member
Minuteman
Apr 18, 2001
3,090
4,920
Eastern Colorado
A bit chilly today and some breeze but did launch a few bullets. Had fun.
I just got home and the tele is ringing. Set my shit down and answered the phone. My morning entertainment is coming.
Woe is me, my SS is hacked, bad shit here. Push 1 and "give me your name and I will help you." "You called me so tell me how what number you know as to how you can help me?"
I stretch them out as long as I can...Take up their time. Only partial answers and always the same answer each time but rustle some papers while you are looking up the info. they need but can't find it. Stretch them out. Long as you can.
Be careful and keep them on the line as long as you can.
Today I got 3 calls this AM, first I had for about 3 weeks. It takes them a while to learn not to call this Asshole, he will waste your time.

After I held them as long as I could I was called a Sumbitch, cocksucker, dirty bastard queer, and one gentleman told me he was going to fuck my mother. They are not nice.

Then they hung up and only 1 let me get a few words out of the Foul one's mouth before he hung up.

Since those calls "Silence is Golden" and I am rich.

They will be back in about 3 weeks but I enjoyed what I got.

Fun if you have the time to do it, and I do. I hate those fuckers but when you are on the Black Ball list you are generally good for about 30 days with no annotance.
 
The only problem with hitting buttons has to do with the scam that is going on with the phone industry for years. You hit that button and behind-the-scenes you've accepted a $25 to $1,000 collection call.

You are right though, it is fun to screw with telemarketers and scammers.

Years ago when I lived in apartment I kept getting calls from a roof repair company. After numerous times at telling people to take me off their list and that I didn't have a home, I invited them out.

So the day came where they're supposed to show up for an estimate, I get a phone call man I can't find your house. I asked him where he was... No, you're the right location.... the response was, you're an asshole click.

I used to respond in Korean or Chinese... Now, for some reason I get spam calls from Guess Who... LOL
 
Maybe this can improve your telemarketer communication skills.

 
I had one from “publishers clearing house” the other day. He said I had won the second place prize of $850000 and a new car, by a random drawing of my phone number. He said “how are you feeling about this great news?!” I said “I’m feeling like I need to give you my bank account info so you can take a fee for me to claim my prize!” He said “are you insulting my intelligence?” I said “oh no sir, I think you know exactly what you are trying to do!” He got PISSED. Started screaming “fuck you you fucking fuck!” Then said “you know what? You can go fuck your dog!” And hung up. It was a blocked number so I couldn’t even call back to tell him she wasn’t in heat...
 
That number should be published for all to see for that wonderful news that you received. Maybe we can all give them a call to see if we won something

Or pass the number off to a Chinese hacker
 
I haven't had a landline for years, for just this very reason. Not that cell phones are better, but landlines are certainly worse.

My tip, I have a cell number from an area I lived at over five years ago. I wasn't from there, just a holding point for me, so there is absolutely nobody I know or want to talk to from there. Anytime I get a call from that area code, I immediately jack it and block it. The number spoofers are the worst, but I get right around that trick.

The other day I got the first legitimate wrong number call I've had in years. It was almost weird, whereas 20 years ago it was commonplace.
 
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My buddy put his number on a Do not call(number for sale) list and was getting calls about everything for at least 2 years. He did the same thing, stretch the call as long as possible and play dumb as often as possible. Almost every time it was from an Indian call center so he would make smartass remarks about bacon and Pakistan’s nuclear program and would get yelled at and hung up on.
 
My tip, I have a cell number from an area I lived at over five years ago. I wasn't from there, just a holding point for me, so there is absolutely nobody I know or want to talk to from there. Anytime I get a call from that area code, I immediately jack it and block it. The number spoofers are the worst, but I get right around that trick.
Yep, when I retired and sold my company, I wanted a new phone number. You can request a phone number for cell phones from anywhere in the country (at least with Verizon). I have a west coast phone number and live in fly over country. You know every time it is a scam/spam call.
 
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@Foul Mike, we could have some entertaining conversation!

There was a time at my business we used to get quite a few solicitation calls either selling misc. product or stocks. My office staff would say "it's another one of those people, do you want to take the call?" It got to the point of principle that I'd go out of my way to take the call because it was such good sport and an entertaining stress reliever. I'd play dumb, I'd challenge the quality of their product, anything to waste their time to minimize their call count for the day. The stock guys would get really aggressive, yelling and screaming type sales tactics, foul mouthed, threats of every nature....... I kept a referee's whistle by my phone for them, one good blast..... game set match.

Turning a negative into a positive can be rewarding. 😁
 
I have a different method and man, does it ever work.

I dig up the capitol shareholder, chairman of the board, chair members and corporate officers. Then I call them at 3am, whatever.

About 15 years ago, we all were getting INUNDATED with Viagra/Cialis shit. Mostly emails, you'd get 100 emails and 75 would be for dick pills (filtering junk was either impossible or didn't work well then). Congress was fucking around playing their usual games threatening to do something useful (which ended up happening, but it seems like they're a lot better at curbing personal liberties and Rights than they are curbing corporate malfeasance).

They moved their phones around and did some hocus pocus and carried on like nothing had happened. Because nothing really is what happened. There were 3rd parties doing it and Cialis and Viagra were washing their hands, saying "it's not us". But who else profits from sales of dick pills other than dick pill mfg.'s? Dick pill peddlers.

So I handled it. I went to the source.

I found the capitol shareholder for Cialis. I called him up at 2-4am one night and told him we'd be talking every night, that he could change his number and I'd just call that one, that it'll get a lot more inconvenient if he has to change numbers constantly, what if someone really needed to reach him and couldn't because we have to play this stupid game? I also told him how much of a coincidence it was that he lived right up the street (he was in Bellevue or Redmond, I was in Seattle!) and that and that we were practically neighbors.

At this point I have his number, address, I know enough about the guy to get everything else if I wanted it. He knows nothing about me other than he got a call at 2 hours before stand-to from some payphone on Aurora Ave.!

NEXT DAY the shit stopped and it never got started back up. I never got another email or call about a dick pill. If I had to guess, I'd guess he fired all the 3rd party spammers when I outed him for it and broke his peace.

Fast forward to a couple years ago. ANOTHER asshole started calling me, this time from Des Moines WA. I got tired of blocking numbers that were all coming from the same place so I got a list with all the numbers and found out who owned the operation. Now he wasn't as easy to get ahold of directly and I wasn't gonna waste time or money hunting him down. So in this case I started modifying public pages about the guy. A retired US Army general no less. I changed all the "Mr. X is such a hero and benefit to the community, yada yada" to "Mr. X traded his military honor for a few shekels earned from aggressive telemarketing, ie, he's a fucking pest, and that should be as much his legacy as what he's done in the past".

They got tired of cleaning that up, nobody was able to stop me, didn't have to do anything illegal to make any of this happen. I think the general found another business opportunity (go figure) and left the callers hanging. I don't know if they went out of business, lost their contract or what, but the calls stopped and when they stopped I stopped fucking up his online legacy, which apparently was very important to him.

Because if the goal is "silence" trust me, you fuck up their silence or make shit inconvenient for those that demand convenience and shit gets fixed FAST.

Telemarketers are like privates --they're in numbers, it does what it's told, can't make decisions, they're usually dumber than shit, but they all have a COC that can be exploited if need be.
 
Today is very uneventful for me. Go out to the range and shoot a few rounds, as I do most mornings, then when I get home, wait for the crank calls to entertain me.
So far today I haven't received a single one. It will be about 3 weeks before the fun starts again, and I am ready. I am on their shit list now.

I am probably the most uncouth asshole they call but on occasion I will be able to crank them up with off the wall numbers as to my SSN and bank accounts, just mumbers that fly off the wall and go on and on and a bogus name for the account.

I do have a great resource of foul nasty shit to say to them but on the occasion that I get them to hang on for a while I have learned some nasty language that even I , The Foul One, hadn't thought of. That is fun.

My Squaw will take a call once in a while and she just hangs up on them, no fun in that. "Gimme that fuckin phone," but it is too late. She already hung up.
She hasn't learned the game yet but I am working on that.

Have a great day today and scam the scammers. You may be like me who very seldom gets those calls because you are an "arsehole wasting my time." FM
 
I always told them the economy had my household a little strapped for cash and they would have to call back at a later date.