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Dead Cat Rant

Rookie

Sergeant
Full Member
Minuteman
Aug 10, 2004
1,316
1,002
D/FW
Rant On.

So I'm working patrol yesterday. About an hour into a 12 hour shift. Its 99 stinkin degrees. Get a call that someone found the head of a dead cat in their alley. No biggie. I go to the house, and the first weird thing I notice is that the whole family, (mom, dad, and almost adult daughter) seem tramatized over this horrible event of finding a cat head in the alley. They insist on showing me, so off we go to the alley. They point out this cat head as if they have discovered the dead body of a human. They give me all the details of how it was lying when they first saw it. I guess they expect me to be shocked at the horror. I'm like, "OK I'll take care of it, thanks for calling us." The lady gets all offended at my abruptness. She wants to know if we have had any other complaints in the neighborhood about dead animals. I say no. She says something about how serial killers practice on animals and that I should look into that. Then the whole family starts lookin at this cat head trying to decide what kind of cat it was. I'm like yeah whatever. Then I realize that they expect me to do some elaborate crime scene investigation. Maybe tie a bunch of crime scene tape around to keep everyone out while I dust this maggot-infested cat head for fingerprints or something. Maybe collect some DNA. So I start trying to look like I give a crap, which I don't. I said something about how we dont know if the cat was killed by another animal or even if it was alive when its head was cut off. The lady gets all offended at my callus attitude. I mean the thing stunk to high heaven. Flies crawlin in and out of its eye sockets. They want me to figure out if its a siamese cat or whatever. I'm thinkin about how cats are just God's version of ballistic gelletin and who really cares.... Anyway, so I tell them again, "thanks for callin, I'll take care of it." The lady says well, its illegal in LA County where she comes from to kill a cat. I say well this aint LA and in Texas you can kill your own dang animal as long as it is done humanely. She looks at me like I'm nuts and says no you can't. I say, sure you can, in Texas we pay vets everyday to put down animals. Perfectly legal. The lady storms off all in a huff then comes back and asks me for a business card, like she's gonna complain. I tell her I don't have one. She stomps off again. I put on a rubber glove, pick up this stinkin dead cat head, turn the glove wrong side out over the head, and toss it in the trash about 10 feet away, and clear the call. Thought about reminding her of the large asian population in the area that probably eats cats. Probably not very sensative of me.... Whatever.

Rant off.
_________________________
 
Re: Dead Cat Rant

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Rookie</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Rant On.

So I'm working patrol yesterday. About an hour into a 12 hour shift. Its 99 stinkin degrees. Get a call that someone found the head of a dead cat in their alley. No biggie. I go to the house, and the first weird thing I notice is that the whole family, (mom, dad, and almost adult daughter) seem tramatized over this horrible event of finding a cat head in the alley. They insist on showing me, so off we go to the alley. They point out this cat head as if they have discovered the dead body of a human. They give me all the details of how it was lying when they first saw it. I guess they expect me to be shocked at the horror. I'm like, "OK I'll take care of it, thanks for calling us." The lady gets all offended at my abruptness. She wants to know if we have had any other complaints in the neighborhood about dead animals. I say no. She says something about how serial killers practice on animals and that I should look into that. Then the whole family starts lookin at this cat head trying to decide what kind of cat it was. I'm like yeah whatever. Then I realize that they expect me to do elaborate crime scene investigation. Maybe tie a bunch of crime scene tape around to keep everyone out while I dust this maggot-infested cat head for fingerprints or something. Maybe collect some DNA. So I start trying to look like I give a crap, which I don't. I said something about how we dont know if the cat was killed by another animal or even if it was alive when its head was cut off. The lady gets all offended at my callus attitude. I mean the thing stunk to high heaven. Flies crawlin in and out of its eye sockets. They want me to figure out if its a siamese cat or whatever. I'm thinkin about how and who really cares.... Anyway, so I tell them agai<span style="color: #FF0000"><span style="font-weight: bold">cats are just God's version of ballistic gelletin </span></span>n, "thanks for callin, I'll take care of it." The lady says well, its illegal in LA County where she comes from to kill a cat. I say well this aint LA and in Texas you can kill your own dang animal as long as it is done humanely. She looks at me like I'm nuts and says no you can't. I say, sure you can, in Texas we pay vets everyday to put down animals. Perfectly legal. The lady storms off all in a huff then comes back and asks me for a business card, like she's gonna complain. I tell her I don't have one. She stomps off again. I put on a rubber glove, pick up this stinkin dead cat head, turn the glove wrong side out over the head, and toss it in the trash about 10 feet away, and clear the call. Thought about reminding her of the large asian population in the area that probably eats cats. Probably not very sensative of me.... Whatever.

Rant off.
_________________________
</div></div>

.
Wonder where I heard that before.
.
On a side note..fortunately no one saw or complained when i dropped off the poor lil road smacked kitty I had to pick up. Although when it separated from the shopping bag in mid-air on its way to the pile to be burned it was kinda funny seeing the mid-air summersaults tail-head tail-head tail-head.
 
Re: Dead Cat Rant

Pretty funny!

Think I heard the ballistic gellatin thing around here last week. Anyway, guess I shoulda offered to say a few words and give it a proper burial. Maybe yell, "Pull" while tossing it in the air and blasting it into pink mist with the scatter gun?
 
Re: Dead Cat Rant

enter_key.jpg
 
Re: Dead Cat Rant

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Mac the knife</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Cat...the other generals chicken. </div></div>

ROFL!
 
Re: Dead Cat Rant

You should have called me, bro. Much more fun to shoot skeet with the scattergun if its a high crossing shot.
 
Re: Dead Cat Rant

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: tucker301</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
enter_key.jpg
</div></div>

LMAO!
 
Re: Dead Cat Rant

You need to go by and keep a striaght face as you show th elady about 8 dog face pictures and ask if she has seen of them in the area. Let them know that you have a suspect that is randomly killing pussy in the alley and ask them if they have seen any pussy get beat up lately by a random dawg
 
Re: Dead Cat Rant

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Mac the knife</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Cat...the other generals chicken. </div></div>
Col. Sanders got promoted?
 
Re: Dead Cat Rant

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">God's version of ballistic gelletin</div></div> LMAO

I would have to agree.
 
Re: Dead Cat Rant

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Rookie</div><div class="ubbcode-body">So I start trying to look like I give a crap, which I don't.</div></div>

Two thing stick out in your post. ^^^ that and your sign on name.

If its that apparent you dont give a crap, might consider a new line of work.
 
Re: Dead Cat Rant

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ewoaf</div><div class="ubbcode-body">so who's the first general then?
</div></div> Come on fellas, Ya'll never had General Tso's chicken? Good shit...when it's really made from chicken.
 
Re: Dead Cat Rant

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Switchblade</div><div class="ubbcode-body">You need to go by and keep a striaght face as you show th elady about 8 dog face pictures and ask if she has seen of them in the area. Let them know that you have a suspect that is randomly killing pussy in the alley and ask them if they have seen any pussy get beat up lately by a random dawg </div></div>

That's some funny shit!!!!!

People think that CSI shit is for real-too much tv.
 
Re: Dead Cat Rant

"well ma'am, I appreciate you looking out and your efforts to bring it to our attention. But just so you can put your mind at rest it's more than likely the result of a coyote or stray dog. It's sad but that's how it is sometimes. I'll let animal control know and to keep an eye out. "
 
Re: Dead Cat Rant

SniperCJ,

It was the cat I that I was less concerned about, not the job. Been doin it 22 years.
 
Re: Dead Cat Rant

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Then I realize that they expect me to do some elaborate crime scene investigation. Maybe tie a bunch of crime scene tape around to keep everyone out while I dust this maggot-infested cat head for fingerprints or something. Maybe collect some DNA.</div></div>

The guys on CSI Miami would have the caper solved and the miscreant behind bars before their shift was over.
 
Re: Dead Cat Rant

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SniperCJ</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Rookie</div><div class="ubbcode-body">So I start trying to look like I give a crap, which I don't.</div></div>Two thing stick out in your post. ^^^ that and your sign on name.If its that apparent you dont give a crap, might consider a new line of work.</div></div><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Rookie</div><div class="ubbcode-body">SniperCJ, It was the cat I that I was less concerned about, not the job. Been doin it 22 years. </div></div>SniperCJ, I agree with you.

I am surprized that a 22-year police officer doesn't yet understand that the people we serve neither want nor expect us to behave like that toward them. Sociopathic behavior, and decompensation in general, is marked by a lack of empathy. If it happens to you, as a police officer or otherwise, seek help - if for no other reason, it will cut down on the number of citizen complaints you receive.

On the subject of empathy:

It should make you shake and sweat
nightmare you, strand you in a desert
of irrevocable desolation, the
consequences
seared into the vein, no matter
what adrenaline
feeds the muscle its courage
no matter
what god shines down on you
no matter
what crackling pain and anger
you carry in your fists, my friend
it should break your heart to kill.

- Brian Turner

 
Re: Dead Cat Rant

Seriously guys?

This post was intended for humor for those that dont worship cats as others do.

Everyone but you two buzzkills got that.

Go dump on someone else's thread.
 
Re: Dead Cat Rant

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Rookie</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Everyone but you two buzzkills got that.Go dump on someone else's thread.</div></div>Why publish a rant and then whine about the reception it gets?

Again you missed the point. And again, it’s not about the cats.

I know that you didn't get the reaction you were looking for, especially not from CJ and I, but we do know something about your chosen profession and calling us buzz-kills doesn’t negate what you wrote about how you do your job.

As for your original post: It is a condition of wisdom in the archer to be patient, because when the arrow leaves the bow it returns no more.

One could say that the same applies to precision marksmanship.
 
Re: Dead Cat Rant

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Lt. Arclight</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Switchblade</div><div class="ubbcode-body">You need to go by and keep a striaght face as you show th elady about 8 dog face pictures and ask if she has seen of them in the area. Let them know that you have a suspect that is randomly killing pussy in the alley and ask them if they have seen any pussy get beat up lately by a random dawg </div></div>

That's some funny shit!!!!!
<span style="color: #FF0000"> </span> People think that CSI shit is for real-too much tv. </div></div>

That is almost verbatum what a local DA told me when I asked about DNA testing after a guy beat my mother to death with a brick.While the concern regarding the cat head is a bit ridiculous,people do expect LEOs to give a shit.
 
Re: Dead Cat Rant

<span style="font-weight: bold">
Did you ever think when you eat Chinese,
It ain't pork or chicken, but a fat siamese,
Yet the food tastes great, so ya don't complain,
but that's not chicken in your chicken chow
mein.
Seems to me I ordered sweet and sour pork,
But Garfield's on my fork,
He's purrin here on my fork...

There's a cat in the kettle at the Peking Moon,
The place that I eat everyday at noon,
They can feed you cat and you'll never know,
Once they wrap it up in dough, boys,
They fry it real crisp in dough.

Chou Lin asked if I wanted more,
As he was dialin up his buddy at the old pet store,
I said not today,
I lost my apettite,
There's two cats in my belly and they want to fight,
I was suckin on a Rolaid and a Tums or two,
When I swear I heard it mew, boy,
And that is when I knew...

There's a cat in the kettle at the Peking Moon,
I think I gotta stop eating there at noon,
They say that it's beef or fish or pork,
But it's purrin there on my fork,
There's a hairball on my fork.
</span>
 
Re: Dead Cat Rant

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: jwSubMOA</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
That is almost verbatum what a local DA told me when I asked about DNA testing after a guy beat my mother to death with a brick.While the concern regarding the cat head is a bit ridiculous,people do expect LEOs to give a shit. </div></div>


Sorry to hear about that - and you are correct and that is why LE gets a bad rap.

I had a guy call me and tell me he's on his way to my house to shoot me so I called 911 and told them about the message and told them I just wanted a record - they didn't seem to care either so I racked my shotgun and just told the lady "I'm just telling you in case he shows up, I will defend myself".

Turned out to be a wrong number but they were looking for the guy, but the former Marine Deputy dog didn't give a shit - they were on a call for a hit and run on a cat.

SO I told Him "Never mind, I will handle this" and he advised me against taking the law in my own hands, yada yada...

SO I have realized that for the most part, LE is not here to help me and i must help myself, the ONLY thing I need LE for is to file a report so I can claim insurance in the event of a burglary.

They, in my mind, have been reduced to paper pushers for me.

Now I respect LE, but the sheriffs dept here has basically given me that perception that they are worthless and I don't need to call them.

When seconds count, I'll have a 1911 or a Remington 870 handy, the 6 minute response time will be for a dead suspect, and the insurance claim to clean the hardwood floors.
 
Re: Dead Cat Rant

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ArcticLight</div><div class="ubbcode-body">...former Marine Deputy dog didn't give a shit - they were on a call for a hit and run on a cat.</div></div>LOL! Cats are a powerful lobby group in your State.
 
Re: Dead Cat Rant

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ArcticLight</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><span style="font-weight: bold">
Did you ever think when you eat Chinese,
It ain't pork or chicken, but a fat siamese,
Yet the food tastes great, so ya don't complain,
but that's not chicken in your chicken chow
mein.
Seems to me I ordered sweet and sour pork,
But Garfield's on my fork,
He's purrin here on my fork...

There's a cat in the kettle at the Peking Moon,
The place that I eat everyday at noon,
They can feed you cat and you'll never know,
Once they wrap it up in dough, boys,
They fry it real crisp in dough.

Chou Lin asked if I wanted more,
As he was dialin up his buddy at the old pet store,
I said not today,
I lost my apettite,
There's two cats in my belly and they want to fight,
I was suckin on a Rolaid and a Tums or two,
When I swear I heard it mew, boy,
And that is when I knew...

There's a cat in the kettle at the Peking Moon,
I think I gotta stop eating there at noon,
They say that it's beef or fish or pork,
But it's purrin there on my fork,
There's a hairball on my fork.
</span></div></div>

They don't call it "<span style="font-weight: bold"><span style="font-size: 14pt"><span style="color: #660000">Chicken Chow-Meow</span></span></span>" for nothing!!!!

HA

cool.gif
 
Re: Dead Cat Rant

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