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Does your wife do shit like this?

She just got back from rounds and then did errands (that we didn't have?) afterwards. I can't blame her as she's on call this week and makes any excuse to get out for even 10 minutes.

So she brings me back a diet Dr Pepper I didn't ask for.

lol the fuck
 
A story if I may....
When my late wife and I were dating, she decided she would cook me a strawberry rhubarb pie. She was a phenomenal cook, the pie was....delicious, if you like rhubarb and cooked strawberries. If you cook a strawberry, I won't eat it....it's absolutely a texture thing.

I ate my piece of rhubarb pie, cause I didn't have the heart to tell her the truth. That first pie got shoved to the back of the fridge, and only after it bacame a science project, did she discover it. I will confirm nor deny, that I hid the pie, but I dug my hole deeper.
"Oh fiddlesticks! This pie went bad."

Naturally I put on an act of how disappointed I was, "That pie was delicious. It's a shame."
Lucky for me, rhubarb season was over.

For ten years I ate my requisite piece of strawberry rhubarb pie every year when the rhubarb was ready.
I had let it go far too long....
Finally that year, I told her, "Honey, I've never been a fan of strawberry rhubarb."
She didn't talk to me for about an hour.
When they won't talk to you, go to the kitchen, and tighten EVERY jar.
 
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If I saw that candle for $5 I would buy em all and light em up at work.....

They make these heat plates that melt the candle and release the scent with no fire. Put one of those under the desk of a chick who is a PITA and overly self-important.......
 
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The way I see it you have 2 options.

1) Tell her no thanks, you're watching your figure.

2) Taste it and then make a disgusted face and tell her "I don't know what the fuck this is but it ain't pudding" now shut your mouth get back in the kitchen and make me a sam'mich.

FIFY

Probably why Im still single.
 
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Count your blessings dude. All I hear is how I spend all my time at the gym, the range or the reloading bench. If my wife brought me the shittiest pudding on earth after a workout I'd put another baby in her that minute.
 
All I know is that if I say anything she'll be all pissed at me. Now I have to somehow, systematically so it looks like I'm eating it, get rid of the pudding. Yet now I'm worried it'll make her think I want more post workout pudding in the future.

She doesn't make me pudding but she sure as hell plays that psychological game.
 
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She just got back from rounds and then did errands (that we didn't have?) afterwards. I can't blame her as she's on call this week and makes any excuse to get out for even 10 minutes.

So she brings me back a diet Dr Pepper I didn't ask for.

lol the fuck

add some whiskey or bourbon to that shit and count it as a blessing
 
hmmmm..

I think having your wife make you something after you have been working out is just cool. Pudding? meh. But if momma made me a snack after a nice long run, I wouldn't say anything but Thanks.
If it sucks, let her know. If its good, eat it.

I eat a lot of sugar free stuff. usually with no sugar (only natural stuff from fruit and what's in the dairy).

Its weird, but it is really worth worrying this much about?
He gets it.
 
Every night when I get home it's a kiss at the door and a fantastic Southern supper on the table. Unless it's a sex night, then it's straight to the bedroom, then supper. She takes my hand and says "BD Sweatheart" (sex "before dinner" ). She checks the weather and the surf report each day and accordingly recommends dirt bike, hunting, or surf session, but reminds me to be home in time for the fights, Supercross/Motocross on NBC Gold, PBR bull riding, or football.

But she does serve two carbs with every meal and often no veggies. She stops me to talk when I'm on my the way to the shower after working outside and misses every cue that I'm naked and cold and want to get into that hot water NOW. She insists on us going to church every Sunday, even if it's raining. It's a pain in the ass after 35 years, but overall I have no complaints. ?
 
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Shit, mine was glad I brought home ribeyes for dinner and am throwing a pork shoulder in the crock pot tomorrow for pulled pork. There is no fat/salt/sugar/gluten free shit in my house when the normal is otherwise, I moderate through portions, not imitation fillers and sweeteners that throw my body further out of whack than a full flavor gluttony fest like turkey day dinner. I laugh at the "gluten free" label on a can of olives, just in case I suspected it was harvested from an olive tree in the middle of a wheat field and some fell in or some shit. Some people's kids...

By coincidence, she asked me to pick up some pudding for her at the store, cook-and-serve style chocolate only, warm pudding on toast is her "comfort food" so I can only assume I must have fucked something up.

Eat the puddin', just don't trust the drink afterwards.
 
I noticed a twinge while working out but didn't think much of it as most of the random shit that happens when I work out on a machine, or run outside usually goes away before I even remember it felt weird earlier.

I'm 90% sure I have a fucking soleus strain on my right ankle; aka the overuse injury. It hasn't gone away and feels worse. Fuck you faggot fucking muscle injury bullshit.

May just eat some pudding now.
 
Take a turkey baster and suck up that pudding and give her a pudding injection , little whip cream and a cherry and you have yourself one hell of a desert.
 
Man, I feel really let down by this thread. I thought this was going to be about your wife leaving heels all over the house, on the stairs, etc again.

Pudding? You must mean meatloaf?
 
Lol. My wife does shit like this sometimes, and I just look at her now, and she knows. I call it the, "We are not on the same wave length" look, and she just laughs now when I give her "the look". ???

 
At least you get to eat them. Mine will bake when I'm doing my paperwork then tell me it's for the kids. So I get to smell the cookies or brownies etc then nada.
Or she will bake 2 cookies for herself and say you are supposed to be eating better.
 
I don't know we even had pudding.

I can't remember the last time in my life that I ate pudding.

I'm not sure how she put together that I was working out with...lets make pudding.

Somehow sugar free made it ok in her mind.

All I know is that if I say anything she'll be all pissed at me. Now I have to somehow, systematically so it looks like I'm eating it, get rid of the pudding. Yet now I'm worried it'll make her think I want more post workout pudding in the future.

I'm so confused.

Refer back to post 3. You don't actually have to eat it, just, you know, move things around with your tongue.
Nom, nom, nom...
 
Every night when I get home it's a kiss at the door and a fantastic Southern supper on the table. Unless it's a sex night, then it's straight to the bedroom, then supper. "BD Sweatheart" (sex "before dinner" ). She checks the weather and the surf report each day and accordingly recommends dirt bike, hunting, or surf session, but reminds me to be home in time for the fights, Supercross/Motocross on NBC Gold, PBR bull riding, or football.

But she does serve two carbs with every meal and often no veggies. She stops me to talk when I'm on my the way to the shower after working outside and misses every cue that I'm naked and cold and want to get into that hot water NOW. She insists on us going to church every Sunday, even if it's raining. It's a pain in the ass after 35 years, but overall I have no complaints. ?
Holy crap you found the Holy Grail od women .
 
No but the blowouts were something out of a horror movie it was more what a slob she was.....toilet bowl looked like a sprinkler went off in there. I don't even leave shit stains in the bowl I scrub it clean. She was a total slob

God damn

Pretty sure my chick doesn't shit......ever.

I'd prefer to keep it that way.
 
Me - walking up the stairs after coming out of the gym in the house. My entire shirt, part of my shorts are coverned in sweat after today's running machine routine of 6 degrees at 7mph, 10 degrees at 6 mph and 8 degrees at 4.5mph, all while wearing a plate carrier....for 60 mins.

Her - Oh hey, I heard you were working out so I made you some vanilla and banana pudding. its sugar free.


What in the fuck? I didn't even know we had pudding.

Be thankful...hint
 
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Swear I thougth the title read 'does your wife shit like this?' and I clicked anyway. I briefly dated a woman years ago who took 2 shits on consecutive days that ultimately broke my spirit. Man she gave great helmet though.
Open a window, pour yourself a cup of vodka and have a long pull. Problem solved.

fuk, I'd put a clothespin on my nose for a good helmet polishing.........;) :cool:
 
Me - walking up the stairs after coming out of the gym in the house. My entire shirt, part of my shorts are coverned in sweat after today's running machine routine of 6 degrees at 7mph, 10 degrees at 6 mph and 8 degrees at 4.5mph, all while wearing a plate carrier....for 60 mins.

Her - Oh hey, I heard you were working out so I made you some vanilla and banana pudding. its sugar free.


What in the fuck? I didn't even know we had pudding.

Logic has nothing to do with it.

It sounds like a no win deal. I would just eat a bowl and thank her. You worked out hard enough to offset any harm form it.
 
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Man, I feel really let down by this thread. I thought this was going to be about your wife leaving heels all over the house, on the stairs, etc again.

Pudding? You must mean meatloaf?
someone pays attention and has a good memory.
 
Momma has more shoes than I do individual rounds of ammo.

well maybe not.

but damn!!!

9 pairs of Toms. Which are hippy bullshit anyways.
I LOVE to help poor kids, here or other countries. But $55 for some cheap ass slip ons so they cain give a pair to a poor kid for free?
Someone is yankin a chain and makin theyselves richer than @TheGerman while pandering to the SJW crowd and making kids in China work for pennies.

have we concluded you should STFU and eat the pudding?

and give her a good back-rub with no expected nookie. Surgery on call is no joke. Her brain is probably scrambled.
Take care of that later. Or never if you dont eat the pudding.
 
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Me - walking up the stairs after coming out of the gym in the house. My entire shirt, part of my shorts are coverned in sweat after today's running machine routine of 6 degrees at 7mph, 10 degrees at 6 mph and 8 degrees at 4.5mph, all while wearing a plate carrier....for 60 mins.

Her - Oh hey, I heard you were working out so I made you some vanilla and banana pudding. its sugar free.


What in the fuck? I didn't even know we had pudding.
If you don't have a wife driving you crazy in 100 ways a week you have to be divorced.
 
The wife and I have never had an argument that she didn't win. Even if I was 100% correct, I still lost. Now I get the cold shoulder even when I say "whatever" to her. Women are unique biological entities. I know we need them, but life would sure be a lot easier without them.....

YMMV
 
The wife and I have never had an argument that she didn't win. Even if I was 100% correct, I still lost. Now I get the cold shoulder even when I say "whatever" to her. Women are unique biological entities. I know we need them, but life would sure be a lot easier without them.....

YMMV

Sad to hear this as often as we do. My life would be more difficult and not as fun without my wife. Like any friendship, it truly depends on the woman/man combination.
 
Sad to hear this as often as we do. My life would be more difficult and not as fun without my wife. Like any friendship, it truly depends on the woman/man combination.

Have to agree with you whole heartily. Like @TheGerman said "Marry a woman that will go to war with you", because life can be, and is, war. There's nothing more satisfying than staring death in the face, and knowing your wife is standing there right beside you, no matter what the outcome. Loyalty, respect, humor, compassion...they're all important when it comes to picking a spouse. Doing so wisely, reaps a huge dividend.

After this past year, I can say this from experience.
 
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