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Maggie’s *Dog*For*Sale* {cheap}

1J04

1J04

Lost Squirrel
Full Member
Minuteman
    • Aug 7, 2011
    15,285
    33,536
    PNW WA
    Up for consideration. We've got a rogue/abandoned Malamute/Gerbil mix for sale. Price includes shipping. Oddly enough it's shipping outta MIA due to it's previous owner being MIA somewhere in the Gulf of Mexico.

    Along with the rodent, we're tossing in $350.00 bucks and a tub of Kimwipes along with the non-refundable one way ticket, and a chewy toy. Don't be fooled by it's appearance. Seriously. This beast is a trained killer and absolutely loves sniffing H1000.

    Sold as is. No returns, no refunds.

    1522942190386.png




    For the Kimwipe curious, they're for a nasty little habit it's previous owner taught it. Rather disgusting act butt if you keep it's anal gland clean and moist it'll usually just gnaw on shit around the house.

    First come, first served. Don't miss out on this amazing opportunity. Makes a great conversation piece. :ROFLMAO:




    Is it just me or does this actually look like Bogey? LMFAO

    @oneshot86 You're a bad man......
     
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    Did I mention it's a chick magnet? Full disclosure, it does have a potty mouth. Who does teach animals to say such vile things?
     
    i know right.
    i was all like, evey, you such a good little dog, and she was like, shut the fuck up and make me a sandwich.
    i was like wha?
     
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    that vietcong looking bitch aint taking no for an answer...
    shes acting like shes waiting for a bus outside my gate, the bus dont come this far out
    so its like, beat it you old broad, it looks like you want to eat this dog, shes like no way, i want dog G.I.
    i may need a hand
     
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    I hope you’re carving some pungi sticks right now.
     
    In the best possible Sally Struthers voice:


    Please, won't you help little "Nom Nom" avoid being eaten by the evil Vietcong lurking at the gate? For just a simple 'yes' you can save "Nom Nom" from being wrapped in Banana leaf. Won't you say YES today?

    1522963893172.png
     
    oneshot86 said:
    im going to take nom nom for a walk
    how close do you think i could walk to her before she flips
    Click to expand...
    I don't know or care but please post video so that we can laugh at your discomfort, err, uhh, say encouraging stuff and shit.
     
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    OK I'll give this a nibble. What does it weigh? The first picture it looked smaller. Shots? Age? Oh, and sex. Sometimes these Asian types can fool you.

    How does this dog feel about Jews? I have a Jewish dog and he is a real dick.
    IMG_4457 copy.JPG
     
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    Has the dog sold yet?
    Bogey should be back at his campsite but he forgot to take his dinner with him.
    Only a few shrimp lost their lives due to fish. The rest were supposed to be skewered and placed over a bed of hot oak.
    Those big bastards (can we call shrimp big?) are still crawling around in my livewell.
    I'm sitting in a folding chair at the soccer fields wearing a coat instead of washing the boat.
     
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    Reactions: Barneybdb, 1J04 and kansas
    It's Bogey,

    I have seized Oneshot's terminal while he's cooking dinner under the watchful eye (one) of the She-Bitch. I was wondering why she'd been acting more psycho than usual and giving me extra "fuck you" faces, then I found the thread.

    I'm currently notifying her mother that she's for sale on The Hide, and that it's not my fault. 50% fewer farts for the 500 mile drive home and the lucky new Puggle owner gets not only a bitchy designer dog to deal with, but also her mother. Double Win!!!!!!!
     
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    oneshot86 said:
    It's Bogey,

    I have seized Oneshot's terminal while he's cooking dinner under the watchful eye (one) of the She-Bitch. I was wondering why she'd been acting more psycho than usual and giving me extra "fuck you" faces, then I found the thread.

    I'm currently notifying her mother that she's for sale on The Hide, and that it's not my fault. 50% fewer farts for the 500 mile drive home and the lucky new Puggle owner gets not only a bitchy designer dog to deal with, but also her mother. Double Win!!!!!!!
    Click to expand...


    I'd just like to take this opportunity to say "I'm Sorry". And I mean that.


    :LOL:
     
    The missus reminded me last night that Evey has pissed on two different people that she felt were mistreating her. It's a good thing @oneshot86 is her new BFF.

    @1J04 , it's never too late to repent
     
    I've been told the lady in the black jammies has suddenly disappeared, coincidently there's a fresh batch of fertilizer, and Daddy's home. :cautious:



    Sorry guys. Now who said what about splitting this up? :unsure:
    20180405_234331_1522986324027.jpeg
     
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    Izzat a cold can of Jai Ali?
    Sounds pretty good right now.
    Just got done washing and waxing the Hewes.
    I even took care of that rust stain in the livewell.
    Time for a replacement bait net. The new one will be stainless though.

    She's all pretty again and ready to get dirty all over.
     
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    That dog has very few friends. Just like I like them.
     
    That's what I figured happened.
    Can you put his ass in a big dog cage?

    I can just see the rodeo trying that move...
     
    taken care of now, but lemme tell ya, first t ime we have had sheep, maybe 2 years running, but these rams are fucking dicks...
     
    If you send the dog plus 8 lb of h1000 plus 3$350 we will get along just fine, but I have to ask is it a guy or a bitch?
    I’m in Mich and my ass is draggin too. If I had 4 legs I could wipe my butt on the carpet better.
     
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    The mutt and I are back in our own AO so @oneshot86 finally has some peace and quiet. It's a special dude that will babysit your girlfriend's dog while you go fishing with someone else.

    He made a furry friend for life though, and will forever have my gratitude.

    Here she is snoring her way home from FL, dreaming of her favorite Uncle Mike:

    IMG_2325.JPG
     
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    Reactions: Threadcutter308, 1J04, Barneybdb and 2 others
    oneshot86 said:
    taken care of now, but lemme tell ya, first t ime we have had sheep, maybe 2 years running, but these rams are fucking dicks...
    Click to expand...

    Sorry you had to go through all that buddy. That sucks ass for sure.
     
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