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Maggie’s ever have one of those conversations...

C

cmh2007

Gunny Sergeant
Full Member
Minuteman
Aug 13, 2009
998
4
39
Katy TX
So my new deck hand was trying to fit in and spun one of those yarns that you just know is crapola. The conversation was about practice shooting. He says "I don't need to practice, I only have one gun, my glock 9 and don't miss. Besides that I have a whole duffle bag full of m4 frag grenades that I took with me from my time in the army."

He is a special cookie and makes myhead hurt with how slow he is in his work and thought pattern....


Sorry had to vent somewhere
 
Maybe it's time to tell him about your countersniper scope and see where it all leads... :D

Sometimes, it's fun to give someone an extra shovel when they are in deep.
 
Well, you have two routes that you can take with this individual...

1. Ask him to hit the range with you and see how much he "don't miss"... (Although it may be a concern if this individual is "a few shrimp shy of a boatload" and attempting to manipulate a firearm...)

2. Smile and nod politely while he is speaking (and place an ad for a replacement deck hand...)
 
Im workingon moving him on. The conversation last night was him asking if a bolt gun has recoil too like an ar15...I just said uh yeah all of them recoil... its just a matter of knowing howto shoot. .. normally I just let him talk to see how full of it he really is
 
Now I find out from my tankerman (guy that is training him) that he was also in the navy working on carriers and is an opperator and had been diagnosed as a sociopath by the ships doctor for having no remourse for the few confirmed kills. He has also been shot in the leg, but never given a purple heart because it was am off the record operation and he can't talk about it.
 
Wow. Reminds me of a guy I knew back home who tried to convince me the army let him take home a mini-gun after his time as a SF operator that he now keeps in his apartment aimed at the door to scare off burglars. :rolleyes:
 
We just told our Maine vet his tall tales... can't wait to see his reaction
 
Sounds like that window licker went from space shuttle door gunner, to full blown, satellite-based sniper.
 
Reminds me of a guy I met a while back... stated he was in Nam & a tunnel rat. Only problem was... this guy was about 5'11" / 6' tall!
 
cmh2007 said:
Now I find out from my tankerman (guy that is training him) that he was also in the navy working on carriers and is an opperator and had been diagnosed as a sociopath by the ships doctor for having no remourse for the few confirmed kills. He has also been shot in the leg, but never given a purple heart because it was am off the record operation and he can't talk about it.
Click to expand...

Hmmm (with most serious and considering face), operator on a carrier. He must mean reactor operator, in which case he stared at a control panel day in day out. If anyone is shooting anywhere near those guys, we have major problems.

By the way, I'm not knocking those guys - seriously, you need a good head on your shoulders and some serious dedication at what is mostly boredom, drills, and the one in a (huge number) chance of big, big problems always in the back of your mind.

Also, ship's doc diagnosing his mental disorder - do these guys even idiot check their stories? I spilled a little water I was drinking while reading this.
 
cmh2007 said:
We just told our Maine vet his tall tales... can't wait to see his reaction
Click to expand...
Not good.... Like people with earrings: there's no problem wearing one provided you have the skills to defend against it being ripped from your ear. Hopefully there's a no ass-kicking rule on your boat.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
There is certainly a no ass kicking rule...I have already figured out this kid has done just about more better than you.
 
I have a guy like that at work. Told me he bought a gun safe off craigslist, when he got it home and opened said safe, that it had a false back that contained 2 civil war "sniper rifles" worth 26k a piece. I didn't even humor him. Just turned and walked away mid sentence. What a douche bag!
 
About that 'duffel bag full of grenades'... I assume he knows that he would get 10-20 at the federal pokey for those... and then some... ATFE has no sense of humor that they are aware of. Just 'sayin. Assume they are not under his bunk, just in case the Somalis visit or something?

In case the monikers Window Licker, Mall Ninja and Space Shuttle Door gunner don't phase your new deck swabbie, here's something for him ;-)

retard3_zpsada55784.jpg



Cheers, Sirhr
 
Always wondered why ships didn't carry some grenades to stop the Somalis. Could be a problem on tankers, tho, I guess........
 
I'm inland tug and barge, so no worry off pirates. But it is up to most companies safety rules. Especially on a tanker where there are flammable/explosive gases/fumes present. Most sop say go to safe area once pirates are aboard. Till then its evasive maneuvering by the ship
 
So now he tells me that the military told him that he would make an excellent police officer and recommend him to Austin pd. Apparently they routinely call him offering a job and he has one any time he wants, but he just turns them down because its just not for him. I guess being a legit operator he is too good for it.
 
Have someone leave a message on his phone saying "This is 'John' from Blackwater -- I'm a recruiter for our special projects teams. We have your paperwork from the Army and you fit every criteria we want, so we want you to come up for an interview. Go to the front gate at Moyock and tell the guard you are here for a job on one of the 'black' teams. The sentry will tell you that there is no such thing, but this is just cover. You need to give the guard the pass phrase: 'I am here to fix the fountain in the ship boarding pond.' He will let you right in."

Done right, you could have a blast with him...

Boowah ha ha hahhaa.

Cheers,

Sirhr
 
sirhrmechanic said:
Have someone leave a message on his phone saying "This is 'John' from Blackwater -- I'm a recruiter for our special projects teams. We have your paperwork from the Army and you fit every criteria we want, so we want you to come up for an interview. Go to the front gate at Moyock and tell the guard you are here for a job on one of the 'black' teams. The sentry will tell you that there is no such thing, but this is just cover. You need to give the guard the pass phrase: 'I am here to fix the fountain in the ship boarding pond.' He will let you right in."

Done right, you could have a blast with him...

Boowah ha ha hahhaa.

Cheers,

Sirhr
Click to expand...

I would pay to be a fly on the wall watching this happen
 
This crap sounds like a recent story I was told by a guy doing body work on the side for me. He informed me that He was away on a US Gov .com job working as an operator in a county about 45 miles from us.. doing interior terrorism work.. monitoring facebook and other sites til like 2AM... I suggested he needed better ventilation in his paint area.. and to just get my fucking truck painted..
 
Gah! Employees! They can be the best or the worst... I have a great one who is 36. I'm 34... The other is 50+ someting and knows more than both of us put together...(if you ask him). A good floor scrubber organizer but as a critical thinker a comlete epic fail. He will invent a way to do everything better than I just showed him and have an attitude about how he is so smart and all. Then I have to rip his stupid guts out and show him how it's done in 5 min vs RE-INVENTING THE F^&*KING WHEEL! For a fucks sake... I respect my elders and this guy too. But... I respect my betters better than old dumb fucks...

Rant over :)
 
Got a new one. He now says that because he was in the military he has a chl for life where ever he goes.....

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I747 using Tapatalk
 
Now he tells me his preferred weapon for deployment is his glock 40, although a rifle is much more efficient but only if its iron sighted

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I747 using Tapatalk
 
Got another...I wasn't aware that the M60 machine gun was actually a "belt fed gattling gun" and outd by far the best machine gun built because it doesn't have much recoil.... all I could say was that is cool

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I747 using Tapatalk
 
Pm sent. .. you very well might depending were you are from

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We won't mention names so nobody gets hurt, but this one is just one of those personalities that tries so hard to fit in that he starts making stuff up...in most cases like his they don't last

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I747 using Tapatalk
 
sirhrmechanic said:
Have someone leave a message on his phone saying "This is 'John' from Blackwater -- I'm a recruiter for our special projects teams. We have your paperwork from the Army and you fit every criteria we want, so we want you to come up for an interview. Go to the front gate at Moyock and tell the guard you are here for a job on one of the 'black' teams. The sentry will tell you that there is no such thing, but this is just cover. You need to give the guard the pass phrase: 'I am here to fix the fountain in the ship boarding pond.' He will let you right in."

Done right, you could have a blast with him...

Boowah ha ha hahhaa.

Cheers,

Sirhr
Click to expand...

Did a very similar thing to a guy. Our contact was Mike Hunt with Secret Services and his number was 867-5309. Very entertaining.
 
I just commented on another thread about something similar. In the last 25-30 years I have had at least a dozen of these bozo's spinning their exploits. Everything from SEALS to Army Special forces and my favorite was a kid from North Carolina that was a Selous Scout in Rhodesia. My response was "can you even spell Selous?"
 
Last edited:
Ok. ..he was diagnosed with post partum depression after being deployed in the army (earlier reference shows he claims to have been in the navy). The conversation took that swing while talking about the wife's first best friend and he pops off with I was diagnosed with that for a few months after brit deployed.
The other hand says really now?
He says yes or something similar p something, and I'm pretty sure it was post partum.
I said you were diagnosed with something only new mothers can get?
He says no it comes from being in battle.

I rolled my eyes ands walked off

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I747 using Tapatalk
 
When I was stationed in DC, I worked with a Marine that swore up and down he was in the local PD 'back home'. We got to hear all sorts of stories about how he was training the SWAT teams on leave, directing training for the state patrol, etc. etc... And before he joined he did so many traffic stops, shot at people, killed a guy, you name it.

We did the math one day and he joined right out of high school. We all just listened to the stories and joked about it afterwards. LOL.. one night a few of us tried to do an "intervention" with him-- "Look, ****, we know you were never a cop, and you've never killed anyone, and you've never shot a perp from a helicopter, so just give it up and be straight with us....".. dude would not give it up.

Some people...
 
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