F'in Christmas!

[101stinfantry]

Not that I hate it mind you. Damn, my wife's family swarms me, they are good people, and I don't mind them one on one, but the whole clan at once causes my stress to spike, anxiety through the roof..........fuck. I usually end up drinking too much, not so much that I make an ass out of myself, just enough that I feel shitty the next day, which of course compounds everything else. I just want to be anywhere, but here.

 

[diggler1833]

Accidently leave your dick hanging out next time you go to the bathroom...works for me. ?

 

[theLBC]

well, at least you have family, annoying or not.
some folks have nobody.

 

[308220]

Some people would love to be in the company of family. Or anybody. Even if theyre somewhat annoyed.

 

[powdahound76]

I agree and I hear ya.

My ex-wife's family was like that. Good folks, lots of good food and laughs, but were also kinda rude after a while and hot on my nerves.
Especially her younger sister. Whale sized liberal who lives in San Francisco and talks more than anyone I have ever me.

Thank the Lord I dont have to see her!!!

 

[HiDesertELR]

I'll avoid the existential, and attempt to interject a little humor here. My she-wolf just pulled this up, seemed fitting for the occasion.

 

[P-Squared]

I'm with you. I love all my family, extended or close, however I have a small kitchen, and obviously NONE of them have ever worked in a restaurant or commercial kitchen and can't seem to get the f#ck out of the way and go have a good time on the other side of the breakfast bar and talk to me while I'm getting their food ready. There are times if murder was legal, I would have made a smaller prime rib, however I go back to I love them all and thank goodness alcohol is legal. Merry Christmas to all you deplorables, and to all of you good night.

 

[The DFC]

Accidently leave your dick hanging out next time you go to the bathroom...works for me. ?

^^^^^This-but beware-if it backfires it really backfires

 

[Maggot]

well, at least you have family, annoying or not.
some folks have nobody.

Das me an I likes it dat way.

Peace and quiet, no bullshit.

 

[Jscb1b]

Das me an I likes it dat way.

Peace and quiet, no bullshit.

You got us! Just from along way away!

 

[Cheyenne Bodie]

I'm a fan of the quiet holidays myself. I like Thanksgiving for a whole gang type of holiday, Christmas I like to leave wide open to just do whatever I want to— usually that means getting wrecked on eggnog and whiskey before 5pm.

 

[BytorJr]

Well at least you don't have your first cousins suing you and your sister over your own father's estate and are not having to cover all the attorney fees yourself with no help from said sister. Family.....you can have it. I'll be spending Christmas with my wonderful 13.5 year old dog.

 

[101stinfantry]

Like I said they are good people, and I love'em, but all of them at once over stimulates me, and I get a nasty case of the ass. It wouldn't be quite as bad if I didn't have to hide/lock a bunch of shit up cause their kids wanna finger bang the most expensive shit I own!
Dammit Diggler, I'd try that, but its so short no one would probably notice!

 

[Maser]

Christmas this year seems like a huge misfire. It just doesn't seem like people are really into it this year. People getting sick. The impeachment bullshit. Etc. Normally my house gets a real Christmas tree. This year we are using a fake one. Hopefully next year will be better.

 

[camotoe]

well, at least you have family, annoying or not.
some folks have nobody.

You you you mean we're not family.......

 

[kenny1773]

Not a fan of family anymore. I don't really talk to my family for a variety of reasons, not even at Christmas time

Trying to do less and less with my wife's family (LARGE family) but it is hard to dodge them all the time when you only live an hour away. I just don't have the desire to be around all the drama and listen to everyone's opinions and bullshit anymore. Its no longer what I would call fun Good news is my wife agrees, her family is like a second job and wants to have less and less involvement with them.

We are not seeing half the family this year, just not making the effort, last minute skipping out

"sorry we are sick and not feeling well, also should not be around a crowd spreading flu, cough cough, merry Christmas, will catch up with you when feeling better." k thanks bye later

 

[MrSmith]

And, God bless us, every one.

Thank you,
Tiny Tim

 

[Son of Dorn]

Couple years ago, we had a weird family incident on Christmas. My folks have the biggest house, so they/we have always hosted Christmas dinner. The time in question, we invited this... cousin, I think? of my dad's. She's an odd one. Very odd indeed, and likes her wine a bit too much. About halfway through the festivities we realize she's gone. "Uhhh... where did G. go? When did she leave? WHY did she leave? HOW did she leave when she carpooled with Aunt R?"

Apparently a couple of family members had turned on the TV in the living room and, while channel-flipping, had paused briefly on Fox News. Cousin G., rather inebriated, apparently kept standing in front of the TV with her arms out, trying to block the view and saying "YOU CAN'T WATCH THAT CHANNEL HERE!" (on a TV that wasn't hers in a house that wasn't hers ). Upon being told "Oh yes the hell we can!" she got huffy, called a cab, and fucked off. And has never been invited back, or deigned to come, again, since she was appalled that a family of predominately conservatives in Georgia paused for all of 30 seconds on Fox News while channel flipping. Holidays bring out the crazy like hell, don't they?

 

[Cheyenne Bodie]

I once just about ruined a wake getting dragged into an argument with my feminist closet lesbo cousin. One of those arguments where you try to get them to look the shit up on their phone and fuck off but they won't lol. It was about guns at first, then it was about how I'm a privileged white male, then it was about trolls on the internet, after that I just had to walk away and decided to never talk to her again before I lost my shit and got mean— which was what she wanted all along. She's kinda known as the spiteful bitch of the family so I didn't catch much heat over it at all. The fact that we even breathe the same air makes my skin crawl, but I'd give her the shirt off my back if she needed it. Goddamn BITCH, though.

 

[AIAW]

 

[Maser]

Be careful of the cookies here in CA. You may have to get someone else to drive your sleigh after eating a few.

 

[Seed tick]

Merry Christmas to all my fellow deplorable assholes!! God bless us every one!

 

[XLR308]

I am not in anyway ashamed to say it but if all of my wife's family were to show up at my house for Xmas I would have my pack ready for a mountain retreat and leave with the dog.
The sad part is my kids would want to go as well and my wife wouldn't be far behind.

 

[TheBigCountry]

Yeti slap full of your favorite beverage is a sure fire way to handle being around extended family on he holidays.

 

[tomcatmv]

Well, my wish is for all you folks to have a Merry one. We're having a houseful of Texans, some bible thumping non-drinkers but it's all good as we are smoking brisket, doing sea-food boil and I have my Maker's Mark. and Shiner. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS TEXAS! And Also GOD BLESS OUR TROOPS, (especially those in harm's way)

 

[McReef]

I ask you this, are you familiar with the SCALE of the Barbie Dreamhouse? What the fuck were we thinking getting this for her?

It’s the 50BMG of dollhouses. I’m sure it’s fun, but does anyone actually need one of those things? I’m calling for a ban.

 

[ForgeValley]

Only one here this year is my wife's brother, and he was a Ranger in desert Storm so I can work with that.

 

[M8541Reaper]

I'm with you. I love all my family, extended or close, however I have a small kitchen, and obviously NONE of them have ever worked in a restaurant or commercial kitchen and can't seem to get the f#ck out of the way and go have a good time on the other side of the breakfast bar and talk to me while I'm getting their food ready. There are times if murder was legal, I would have made a smaller prime rib, however I go back to I love them all and thank goodness alcohol is legal. Merry Christmas to all you deplorables, and to all of you good night.

All of this.
WHY ARE YOU IN THE KITCHEN TALKING INSTEAD OF ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ISLAND?!?
lol or worse they try to help and it just results in you doing it anyways or, in the case or re-washing stuff, having to clean them again.
:::clearly 99.973% done with _____ task::::
“Hey do you need help?”
?

lol

?
Happy holidays gents.
#TheWarOnChristmasIsOverWhenTheyPryTheTrashBagAndWhiskeyFromMyColdDeadHands

 

[ykrvak]

This year marks 20 years since having a Thanksgiving or Christmas with family. I've never found that blood proves any kind of loyalty and much prefer the company of friends for such occasions when possible. As several here have stated, some of my family members are fine one on one, but when lumped in with the others the entire rabble results in an evening on me gritting my teeth and watching the clock. Life is too short to do unnecessary things you don't find enjoyable. Merry Christmas to everyone.

 

[PatMiles]

Especially her younger sister. Whale sized liberal who lives in San Francisco and talks more than anyone I have ever me.

My ex wife's brothers were like like that. I would spend the month of December planning ways to antagonize them but ONLY after they started the shitstorm. After a couple of years of this I could justifiably sit at home while the ex-wifey went to the family crapfest. Eventually she quit going altogether.
My fiancee's family, on the other hand, are an absolute hoot to get together with as is my family.

 

[101stinfantry]

Well, it's late, and almost over, looks like I'll survive another christmas. It's all good, just over whelming when you look at it from the front end. Thank God for Beer!

ETA: One of them sumbitches plugged my F'in toilet up! Lol, nothing like being a plumber on Christmas Day!