MEN!!!!
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN
_____________________________
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' DALLAS COWBOYS'!
And they say blondes are dumb....
----------------------------------------------------------------
A couple is lying in bed. The man says,'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world..'
The woman replies, I'll miss you........
----------------------------
'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
------------------------------------- ------
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
-------------------------------------------
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
--------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
---------------------------------------------
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough. HA!
------------------------------------------
Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end to wipe.
-------------------------------------------
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your email: Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'
-------------------------------------------------
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN
_____________________________
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' DALLAS COWBOYS'!
And they say blondes are dumb....
----------------------------------------------------------------
A couple is lying in bed. The man says,'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world..'
The woman replies, I'll miss you........
----------------------------
'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
------------------------------------- ------
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
-------------------------------------------
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
--------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
---------------------------------------------
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough. HA!
------------------------------------------
Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end to wipe.
-------------------------------------------
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your email: Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'
-------------------------------------------------
