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Funny Police harassment story

N2DADARK

Sergeant
Full Member
Minuteman
Jan 3, 2010
328
0
39
Got this from my wife who is a previous Security Forces officer, dont know if it has been posted before but its a good laugh.


Recently, the Chula Vista, California Police Department ran an e-mail forum (a question and answer exchange) with the topic being, "Community Policing."

One of the civilian email participants posed the following question, "I would like to know how it is possible for police officers to continually harass people and get away with it?"

A Sergeant, obviously a cop with a sense of humor, replied:

"First of all, let me tell you this...it's not easy. In Chula Vista, we average one cop for every 600 people. Only about 60% of those cops are on general duty (or what you might refer to as "patrol") where we do most of our harassing.

The rest are in non-harassing departments that do not allow them contact with the day to day innocents. And at any given moment, only one-fifth of the 60% patrollers are on duty and available for harassing people while the rest are off duty. So roughly, one cop is responsible for harassing about 5,000 residents.

When you toss in the commercial business, and tourist locations that attract people from other areas, sometimes you have a situation where a single cop is responsible for harassing 10,000 or more people a day.

Now, your average ten-hour shift runs 36,000 seconds long. This gives a cop one second to harass a person, and then only three-fourths of a second to eat a donut AND then find a new person to harass. This is not an easy task. To be honest, most cops are not up to this challenge day in and day out. It is just too tiring. What we do is utilize some tools to help us narrow down those people which we can realistically harass.

The tools available to us are as follows:

PHONE: People will call us up and point out things that cause us to focus on a person for special harassment. "My neighbor is beating his wife" is a code phrase used often. This means we'll come out and give somebody some special harassment.

Another popular one is, "There's a guy breaking into a house." The harassment team is then put into action.

CARS: We have special cops assigned to harass people who drive. They like to harass the drivers of fast cars, cars with no insurance or no driver's licenses and the like. It's lots of fun when you pick them out of traffic for nothing more obvious than running a red light. Sometimes you get to really heap the harassment on when you find they have drugs in the car, they are drunk, or have an outstanding warrant on file.

RUNNERS:
Some people take off running just at the sight of a police officer. Nothing is quite as satisfying as running after them like a beagle on the scent of a bunny. When you catch them you can harass them for hours.

STATUTES: When we don't have PHONES or CARS and have nothing better to do, there are actually books that give us ideas for reasons to harass folks. They are called "Statutes"; Criminal Codes, Motor Vehicle Codes, etc... They all spell out all sorts of things for which you can really mess with people.

After you read the statute, you can just drive around for awhile until you find someone violating one of these listed offenses and harass them. Just last week I saw a guy trying to steal a car. Well, there's this book we have that says that's not allowed. That meant I got permission to harass this guy. It is a really cool system that we have set up, and it works pretty well.

We seem to have a never-ending supply of folks to harass. And we get away with it. Why? Because for the good citizens who pay the tab, we try to keep the streets safe for them, and they actually pay us to "harass" some people.

Next time you are in my town, give me the old "single finger wave." That's another one of those codes. It means, "You can't harass me."

It's one of our favorites.
 
Re: Funny Police harassment story

very funny. at least someone has a sense of humor
 
Re: Funny Police harassment story

thats not alot of time in the day to harass...lol this was pretty good.
 
Re: Funny Police harassment story

That made its rounds about 3 or 4 years ago. I have seen it a few times now but every once in a while someone swaps out the Chula Vista. We call it Chula juana because it is so close to the border here in San Diego. Made to sound like Tijuana.
 
Re: Funny Police harassment story

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Weber61</div><div class="ubbcode-body">very funny. at least someone has a sense of humor </div></div>

And respectable math skills!
 
Re: Funny Police harassment story

This is why I believe most depts should requuire at least 2 years of college or requisite military experience. It takes years of practice for this level of sarcasm to evolve.
There is nothing quite as satisfying as assisting someone in need with their personal mission to make themselves look like an ass. Some times a little extra assistance is necessary.
If a crowd gathers, you don't want some poor citizen to mearly get a "What a jerk reaction," from the crowd. No, you have a special duty to help them reach levels never dreamt of. Who among us ever though we could get an entire gathering to hate us at the same time? Who among us has ever had an entire audience cheer for us the way they do, when, they appreciate the effort the individual had to go to, so much, that they will cheer when he/she gets Tasered.
It's basic police work. We have a duty to these special people,
to help them, "Be all they can be." It should be noted in this instance that as many as a hundred citizens missed their harassment that day, in order for the officer to respond to the email. Kudos to him for going above and beyond.