I got this in my e-mail today, and I think it is a little funny.
Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound bow beginner
kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in
anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40 horse
Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down? Tough sumbich.
That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazard fan that I was, I
quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw gas
tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place. One
summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak stump
in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and see a shiny brand new can
of starting fluid (Ether). The light bulb went off in my head. I grabbed the
can and set it on the stump. I thought that it would probably just spray out
in a disappointing manner. Lets face it, to a 10 yr old mouth-breather like
myself, (Ether), really doesn't "sound" flammable. So, I went back into the
house and got a 1 pound can of pyrodex (black powder for muzzle loader
rifles).
At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of
black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the (Ether)
can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie, a 1 lb. pyrodex and 16 oz
(Ether) should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know? You know
what? Screw that I'm going back in the house for the other can.
Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too. Now we're cookin'.
I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew the nock to my
cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk as the arrow launched from
my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of the
truck... OH s**t! He just got home from work. So help me God it took 10
minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can. My dad was walking
towards me in slow motion with a WTF look in his eyes. I turned back towards
my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the starting fluid can right at
the bottom. Right through the main pile of pyrodex and into the can. Oh Shyt.
When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it was the
actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from 235
fricking decibels of sound. I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of the
violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was dust,
grass, and bugs all hovering 1 ft above the ground as far as I could see. It
was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of grasshoppers,
spiders, and a worm or two.
The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE FRICKING DAYLIGHT
TURNED PURPLE.
There was a big sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture. Notice
I said "was". That son-of-a-bitch got up and ran off.
So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my
thundercats T-Shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport
having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback:
ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOU'RE BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE.
DAMNIT CEASE FIRE!!!!!
His hat has blown off and is 30 ft behind him in the driveway. All windows on
the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow rolling mushroom
cloud about 2000 ft. over our backyard. There is a Honda 185 3 wheeler parked
on the other side of the yard and the fenders are drooped down and are now
touching the tires.
I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know - I know I
said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my own head. I don't
think he heard me either... not that it would really matter. I don't remember
much from this point on. I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up
later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later....repeat this process for
an hour or so and you get the idea. I remember at one point my mom had to give
me CPR. and Dad screaming "Bring him back to life so I can kill him again".
Thanks Mom.
One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again, Mom had
been bitching about that thing for years and dad never did anything about it.
I stepped up to the plate and handled business.
Dad sold his muzzle loader a week or so later. I still have some sort of bone
growth abnormality, either from the blast or the beating, or both.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery. It's good
discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.
Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound bow beginner
kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in
anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40 horse
Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down? Tough sumbich.
That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazard fan that I was, I
quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw gas
tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place. One
summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak stump
in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and see a shiny brand new can
of starting fluid (Ether). The light bulb went off in my head. I grabbed the
can and set it on the stump. I thought that it would probably just spray out
in a disappointing manner. Lets face it, to a 10 yr old mouth-breather like
myself, (Ether), really doesn't "sound" flammable. So, I went back into the
house and got a 1 pound can of pyrodex (black powder for muzzle loader
rifles).
At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of
black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the (Ether)
can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie, a 1 lb. pyrodex and 16 oz
(Ether) should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know? You know
what? Screw that I'm going back in the house for the other can.
Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too. Now we're cookin'.
I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew the nock to my
cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk as the arrow launched from
my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of the
truck... OH s**t! He just got home from work. So help me God it took 10
minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can. My dad was walking
towards me in slow motion with a WTF look in his eyes. I turned back towards
my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the starting fluid can right at
the bottom. Right through the main pile of pyrodex and into the can. Oh Shyt.
When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it was the
actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from 235
fricking decibels of sound. I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of the
violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was dust,
grass, and bugs all hovering 1 ft above the ground as far as I could see. It
was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of grasshoppers,
spiders, and a worm or two.
The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE FRICKING DAYLIGHT
TURNED PURPLE.
There was a big sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture. Notice
I said "was". That son-of-a-bitch got up and ran off.
So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my
thundercats T-Shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport
having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback:
ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOU'RE BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE.
DAMNIT CEASE FIRE!!!!!
His hat has blown off and is 30 ft behind him in the driveway. All windows on
the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow rolling mushroom
cloud about 2000 ft. over our backyard. There is a Honda 185 3 wheeler parked
on the other side of the yard and the fenders are drooped down and are now
touching the tires.
I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know - I know I
said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my own head. I don't
think he heard me either... not that it would really matter. I don't remember
much from this point on. I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up
later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later....repeat this process for
an hour or so and you get the idea. I remember at one point my mom had to give
me CPR. and Dad screaming "Bring him back to life so I can kill him again".
Thanks Mom.
One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again, Mom had
been bitching about that thing for years and dad never did anything about it.
I stepped up to the plate and handled business.
Dad sold his muzzle loader a week or so later. I still have some sort of bone
growth abnormality, either from the blast or the beating, or both.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery. It's good
discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.
