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Guy tells a hunting story

Big Bo

Sergeant
Full Member
Minuteman
Jun 7, 2005
863
223
Cal West
One day at work some co-workers and I are drinking coffee in the break room and a new guy comes in gets a cup of coffee, and after a few minutes he is telling a couple of the guys about his deer hunt. He said he shot a deer at 700 yards with his 7mm Mag off hand. I asked what was his holdover? He answered back, don`t need to, 7 Mag shoots flat. He said I just held dead on. I walked out of the break room.

A couple days later, same guy is telling another deer hunting story. This time he shot a deer at 1200 yards while laying on a branch up in a tree. Again, I asked what was his hold over. He said, 7 Mag is flat, don`t have to do that. I told him I won`t call you a liar, but that is bullshit. He looked at me not pleased. I said, I own a 7 Mag. He got his cup of coffee and walked out of the break room.

One of the guys asked if his story could be true? I answered, no.
 
One day at work some co-workers and I are drinking coffee in the break room and a new guy comes in gets a cup of coffee, and after a few minutes he is telling a couple of the guys about his deer hunt. He said he shot a deer at 700 yards with his 7mm Mag off hand. I asked what was his holdover? He answered back, don`t need to, 7 Mag shoots flat. He said I just held dead on. I walked out of the break room.

A couple days later, same guy is telling another deer hunting story. This time he shot a deer at 1200 yards while laying on a branch up in a tree. Again, I asked what was his hold over. He said, 7 Mag is flat, don`t have to do that. I told him I won`t call you a liar, but that is bullshit. He looked at me not pleased. I said, I own a 7 Mag. He got his cup of coffee and walked out of the break room.

One of the guys asked if his story could be true? I answered, no.

Similar thing happened at a UPS store. I knew the owner well because I had a mail box there. We talked about hunting often.

One day he was telling me he had once shot a Muley here in Wyoming at 1000 yrds. I had no reason not to believe him at that point but I knew he did not dial, so I asked what his holdover was. I think he said something like the top of its back or something just as ludicrous. I hid my surprise….😳
 
My old neighbor always had stories like this. Here are a few abbreviated versions:

"My buddy works for a 3 letter agency you've never heard of and never will. We were at the range and we were shooting a classified pistol that shot bullets at 4600fps and had a 25rd clip. We shot quarter sized targets at 300 no problem."

"Some guy tried poaching a deer on my place and he missed and his bullet went right above my head into my blind. I got out and shot their front tire out at 700 yards, sent them straight into the ditch. Safe to say they won't try poaching around me again."

"Yeah this .223 used to shoot dime sized groups at 600 all the time, but my son tipped it over in the safe and now it won't shoot like that, guess I'll probably sell it."
 
Almost as bad as a wealthy guy that I helped by setting up his rifle with new scope and load along with providing the drops and wind holds for 5 mph taped to his gun. Then gave a lesson for a few hours.

He has a LRF, doesn't use it, then SWAGS at the distances and holds, fires away until the animal has gone and often wounded at that. He does this every year too.

:rolleyes::cautious:(n)
 
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Almost as bad as a wealthy guy that I helped by setting up his rifle with new scope and load along with providing the drops and winds holds for 5 mph winds taped to his gun. Then gave a lesson for a few hours.

He has a LRF, doesn't use it, then SWAGS at the distances and holds, fires away until the animal has gone and often wounded at that. He does this every year too.

:rolleyes::cautious:(n)

Back when I could move well I would volunteer at the club during the "public sight in days". I am not sure why I chose to torture myself like that.

All types come out of the wood work.

Usually it would be 1 club member to every 3-4 "humans". Sometimes that was overload. They all had to sit through a safety class first. The best part about that is the club is so far out in the boonies cell phones just flat don't work, they had to listen. And we are not nice if you did want to play with your phone.

The types like you say, a very expensive rifle, a very expensive scope, one box of ammo from 1972 with 4 rounds missing. He would take one single shot, twist the scope a little then leave.

I had another come out with a zip lock bag with all kinds of different calibers. No that one does not fit.....ahh hang on a sec there, what do you have there. Oh I got these from a garage sale. I shit you not. Loose ammo from a garage sale, and he does not even go to the trouble to sort it, let alone what the hell is it. Some of it was green. I told him he is not shooting on my range with that ammo. He was actually one of the few that actually did not know any better, and he finally joined the club and is doing just fine. But wow, that start. I think he is the reason I try to help totally clueless people, I saw the rock bottom of stupid first hand. And yes everyone still gives him endless shit about it even 20 years later.

Others, leaving the rifle loaded with the bolt closed after the all clear and people go down to see the targets, people touching the guns while others are still down range, those get an invite to leave. Those people get spunky.

Glad I don't do that anymore.
 
I've written this countless times online... when I worked at the range people would come to me, point to a part of the range and say "I'd like to move to the 400 yard targets." (puzzled look from me) I say That? That's two hundred. They'd point elsewhere and ask "Then what's that?" That's one hundred. "Then what am I shooting at?" You're shooting at 50.

And that's when I finally understood the "fish stories" about hunting and how far the deer was.
 
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I guy told me one time he put 3/8" steel plate on the walls, ceiling and floor of his entire reloading room to make it safe from explosions. ..Then he told me about his colt python in .44 mag that he could shoot anything with. Pop cans at 100yrd dead center everytime.
 
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Literally last week

“I want a .308 M1A because they are so accurate, I thought I wanted a .223 AR but those can kill at 1000 Yards so I don’t need that”

I have typed a few good ones here in the hide about stories we hear. Find the local gun club or gun shop thread. Lol. People are just looney tunes.
 
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Another one. Co-worker goes hunting and comes back without a deer. I asked what happened? Well, he was looking for deer, and then the hair on the back of his neck started to rise. He knew something was a miss. He looked and a mountain lion was tracking him. I asked how far away was the lion? He said on a ridge about 400 yards away. He said he shot the lion, went to town and notified a CALIFORNIA GAME WARDEN. Said the warden told him to kill them all. Said we don`t like`em around here. I walked away.
 
Fudds are also behind the gun counters.

Years ago, I asked a sales guy if they had the new Vortex 1X6 strike eagle. He rolled his eyes and with authority, said. “1x6 does not exists and never will. 1x4 is the limit of optics and always will be.”

Been ordering optics on-line ever since.
 
I used to own a 7mm mag, I can say, it seems to shoot flat...killed elk with it, it wasn't impressive, but it worked.
It shot so flat never had to aim high, ...not once...but all were killed at 100 yds or less...mostly less, like 30 yds to 100 yds, in the pole thickets, where they bed down and hide from hunters, and you can smell them in the breeze, before you see them.
 
You want to have a good OR terrible time go to the local 100-300 yard flat range and just observe. People will show up to “sight in” rifles with scopes on backwards and all kinds of shit.

I love taking my suppressed Vudoo to the flat range and challenging funds to shoot 300 yards. People really freak out once they see your shooting a .22.
 
Back in the late 90's, I had a small gun shop. Handheld rangefinders were just getting affordable that would accurately range to about 800 yds. I would have guys come in all the time saying 'I shot that deer at 700yds' or whatever outrageous claim. We'd step outside with the rangefinder, and I would say show me how far it was. They would point it out, I would range it, and it would be like 200 yds. Like someone said above, most people have no idea of range
 
Sgt Nicholas "The Reaper" Irving formerly of the US Army 3rd Ranger Battalion 75th Ranger Regiment as a sniper team leader said in an interview that if a .50 BMG flies by you close enough, it does not have to touch you, it will rip your arm off of your body.

I have not served and I have watched people shoot a .50 cal and not ruin something that is near a target. But I kind of doubt that statement.
 
Another one. Co-worker goes hunting and comes back without a deer. I asked what happened? Well, he was looking for deer, and then the hair on the back of his neck started to rise. He knew something was a miss. He looked and a mountain lion was tracking him. I asked how far away was the lion? He said on a ridge about 400 yards away. He said he shot the lion, went to town and notified a CALIFORNIA GAME WARDEN. Said the warden told him to kill them all. Said we don`t like`em around here. I walked away.

Wow, I think I would be drinking filtered water if I lived there; there’s got to be something in the water.

You ever notice that fudds always report a whole number when lying about how far they shot something? They always say, 700 yards, or 1000 yards, never 469 yards, etc.; dead giveaway.
 
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Listened to at least a 385# Fudd bear hunter tell us about how he shot a bear crossing the dirt road in front of the dogs, of course dropped it immediately. Stepped it off at exactly one mile. He had no idea of lead or drop and his rifle was a Marlin 30/30. Dude was serious as hell too. They are all among us no doubt. This guy suprised me...most bear hunters are no bullshit guys. But , he may have been in the club but his ass sat on the two track while the real bear hunters went through the wall of miles thick briars to the tree.
 
Listened to at least a 385# Fudd bear hunter tell us about how he shot a bear crossing the dirt road in front of the dogs, of course dropped it immediately. Stepped it off at exactly one mile. He had no idea of lead or drop and his rifle was a Marlin 30/30. Dude was serious as hell too. They are all among us no doubt. This guy suprised me...most bear hunters are no bullshit guys. But , he may have been in the club but his ass sat on the two track while the real bear hunters went through the wall of miles thick briars to the tree.

And you are too nice of a person to tell him a mile is 5,280 feet, not 52.8 feet. It’s best to leave such a person in their delusions.
 
A guy was telling me about his 25-06 one day. He liked it becasue to hit coyotes at a dead run at 700y. He just put the cross hairs on the end of their nose.
I love my 25-06. It’s flat, pretty fast, and a dream to shoot. But it doesn’t disobey the laws of physics or perform magic.
 
Sgt Nicholas "The Reaper" Irving formerly of the US Army 3rd Ranger Battalion 75th Ranger Regiment as a sniper team leader said in an interview that if a .50 BMG flies by you close enough, it does not have to touch you, it will rip your arm off of your body.

I have not served and I have watched people shoot a .50 cal and not ruin something that is near a target. But I kind of doubt that statement.
I have a 50BMG, and can tell ya that statement is totally false...you have to hit the target in the shoulder or have some bullet contact with the target or nothing happens...just like a 22 LR. Unless your bullets impacts the dirt and throws sand or gravel into the target, nothing happens, no matter how close the miss.
 
One day at work some co-workers and I are drinking coffee in the break room and a new guy comes in gets a cup of coffee, and after a few minutes he is telling a couple of the guys about his deer hunt. He said he shot a deer at 700 yards with his 7mm Mag off hand. I asked what was his holdover? He answered back, don`t need to, 7 Mag shoots flat. He said I just held dead on. I walked out of the break room.

A couple days later, same guy is telling another deer hunting story. This time he shot a deer at 1200 yards while laying on a branch up in a tree. Again, I asked what was his hold over. He said, 7 Mag is flat, don`t have to do that. I told him I won`t call you a liar, but that is bullshit. He looked at me not pleased. I said, I own a 7 Mag. He got his cup of coffee and walked out of the break room.

One of the guys asked if his story could be true? I answered, no.
An ex buddy that turned out to be a lying, sorry pos, killed a Boone & Crockett buck in S. Texas that ended up in a prestiges whitetail hunting mag, complete with pics and story.

Not content with killing a big buck, he had to embellish on the story, saying he shot the buck at 800yds, his first shot with a .375 H&H kicked up dirt under the buck's belly. He held 18" over it's back and hit it the deer with the next shot.
 
I guy told me one time he put 3/8" steel plate on the walls, ceiling and floor of his entire reloading room to make it safe from explosions. ..Then he told me about his colt python in .44 mag that he could shoot anything with. Pop cans at 100yrd dead center everytime.
If you were a pumpkin at 100y you woukd want me to be shooting at you with the 629 44 mag i had. I hit clay pigeons with it at 100y. Not every shot, but I didn't own it long either. Probably the one gun I sold I would like back.
 
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Fuddery abounds.
Dead Zero Range is just expensive enough that you have to be a dedicated Fudd to want to sight in there, but they do exist. Usually straight from Sportsman’s World with their new 6.5 Creedmoor insisting they are going to shoot at the 1,000 yard electronic targets.
Ummm…..No……

Years ago at a different range I belonged to, there was an older guy with a nice old BAR .30-06 with an old 2-7 Redfield. Capable old rig.
He proceeded to send a 1/2 dozen rounds at the 50 yard target complaining to his buddy that they were going all over the place.
I said something to the effect of “Sir, not to stick my nose in, but can I help?”. He nodded. I moved his front rest/bag back from under the barrel to under the forend. Bullets started landing closer together for him.

I’ve got to where I don’t have a lot of mercy on guys telling 1,000 yard deer killing stories. They’re sitting there running their cakehole unaware that I’m sitting there getting more and more pissed off thinking about my shitty score at the last steel match……
 
The neighbors kid asked if he could come check zero on his hunting rifle at my place, I said sure. He proceeded to shoot a 10 MOA group @ 100 yards with no ear pro. after lending him some ear pro and explaining some basic fundamentals we managed to get him shooting a little better. He then told me a story about how he shot a doe running wide open accross a field at 650 yards last year. Lmaooo
 
Here's the one that got away, for me.

I hunt on public land and live about an hour from the biggest WMA in my state that allows gun hunt during regular season. However, it is managed by the US Forestry Service.

So, I am driving up a county road to most eastern and northern compartment. From the private property on my left emerges a doe and she bounds across the road in front of me to a property on my right side.

A) I am driving
B) I always carry my M&P 9 and it is in my drop holster on my thigh.
C) it's against the law to fire a weapon across a public road.
D) Even if I did shoot her, she could have still made it to the private property to which I had no permission to enter.
E) Not only could I be shot by the owner for trespassing, in my state, it is a state felony to hunt or harvest game animals on property to which you do not have explicit permission to enter.
F) Even if she had somehow run up to the road and onto the public compartment I was going to, I could not shoot her that year. On that property, since it is managed by the USFS, you have to have a USFS anterless gun hunt permit, which you only get by entering a drawing. And I did not win that year.

Damn it.

So, yeah, I guess, opposite of the bragging story. More like the misadventures segment.
 
I was talking to my neighbor about shooting hogs with my 9mm. Talking about hollow points vs the Xtreme penetrators. He said thats why he on;y shoots a 45. He was an MP in the Army and one time say a guy get shot in the arm "he pointed toward his bicep" and the guy flipped over 3 times. He probably saw the look on my face so then he added "the guy was gunning away". So in reality a guy was running away and got shot in the arm and fel down and maybe tumbled a little bit...

We got a new service writer at work. He sounds like he's kind of into guns. Says he has an AR a pistol and a 308 rifle with a "big scope". Told me he went out into the desert when he lived in Las Vegas and marked a mile with his car. Shot at a cardboard parson sized target and his son was telling him how far and which way he missed to get him on target. I wasn't there, but I'm guessing by the way he told the story that he can't really keep a group smaller than a paper plate at 100 yards.
 
Here's the one that got away, for me.

I hunt on public land and live about an hour from the biggest WMA in my state that allows gun hunt during regular season. However, it is managed by the US Forestry Service.

So, I am driving up a county road to most eastern and northern compartment. From the private property on my left emerges a doe and she bounds across the road in front of me to a property on my right side.

A) I am driving
B) I always carry my M&P 9 and it is in my drop holster on my thigh.
C) it's against the law to fire a weapon across a public road.
D) Even if I did shoot her, she could have still made it to the private property to which I had no permission to enter.
E) Not only could I be shot by the owner for trespassing, in my state, it is a state felony to hunt or harvest game animals on property to which you do not have explicit permission to enter.
F) Even if she had somehow run up to the road and onto the public compartment I was going to, I could not shoot her that year. On that property, since it is managed by the USFS, you have to have a USFS anterless gun hunt permit, which you only get by entering a drawing. And I did not win that year.

Damn it.

So, yeah, I guess, opposite of the bragging story. More like the misadventures segment.
Fail. You should have hunted with your bumper and bagged it right there on the road.

:)
 
I drilled a groundhog in the right eye with an iron sighted 1903 Springfield from a sitting position at 200 yards.

I cried all the way home cause nobody was there to witness it.
I hit a rabbit on the run at 75 yards with an AK. One shot.

Two of my buddies saw it.
 
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One day at work some co-workers and I are drinking coffee in the break room and a new guy comes in gets a cup of coffee, and after a few minutes he is telling a couple of the guys about his deer hunt. He said he shot a deer at 700 yards with his 7mm Mag off hand. I asked what was his holdover? He answered back, don`t need to, 7 Mag shoots flat. He said I just held dead on. I walked out of the break room.

A couple days later, same guy is telling another deer hunting story. This time he shot a deer at 1200 yards while laying on a branch up in a tree. Again, I asked what was his hold over. He said, 7 Mag is flat, don`t have to do that. I told him I won`t call you a liar, but that is bullshit. He looked at me not pleased. I said, I own a 7 Mag. He got his cup of coffee and walked out of the break room.

One of the guys asked if his story could be true? I answered, no.
Just feed these guys rope. Egg them on until it’s obvious you’re trolling him. I make it an art form
 
I had a Fudd with only one scope ring holding the scope on his rifle trying to sight in and wondering why he had a wandering zero. Sad part is he had hunted with the rifle like that too

Also, the guys with Wish.com scopes and red-dots with their gun-show bubba the redneck ARs are always a hoot. Spend more time trying to get the rifle zero’s while talking about how “the govt can come get some” then doing anything useful
 
I have a 50BMG, and can tell ya that statement is totally false...you have to hit the target in the shoulder or have some bullet contact with the target or nothing happens...just like a 22 LR. Unless your bullets impacts the dirt and throws sand or gravel into the target, nothing happens, no matter how close the miss.
False. I shot a 50 bmg strait up in the air once. Everyone in a 5 mile radius died. Including me. I’m chatting from heaven right now. Hitler says hi.
 
The really disturbing thing is when they find out you're specifically into long range precision shooting and then proceed to bullshit you about your own hobby. I think some of this is flat out mental illness where they even believe their own bullshit legend. I used to have a friend growing up that just didn't think reality was good enough and would probably lie about what he had for breakfast.
 
I was going to sell a nice young pointer to a couple from Az. I wanted to work the dog for them on some planted birds, so he his wife couple of kids followed me and my exwife in our truck out to a training area we used. On the way out there I spot a diamond back coiled up on the edge of the road.Without thinking i hopped out with my gen 1 Springfield xd 9mm. I leveled off and sent one.. to my astonishment it took the snakes head smooth off. I hadn’t realized the other family had bailed out as well as my wife and witnessed the little event. They were all amazed. I acted like I had done that shit a million times…. I was lucky to hit a pie plate at 25 yards with a pistol back then. Needless to say they bought the dog and I never shot that pistol in front of anyone again..
 
False. I shot a 50 bmg strait up in the air once. Everyone in a 5 mile radius died. Including me. I’m chatting from heaven right now. Hitler says hi.
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I drilled a groundhog in the right eye with an iron sighted 1903 Springfield from a sitting position at 200 yards.

I cried all the way home cause nobody was there to witness it.

I did something similar except I was prone, I needed a hat on the rear sight to block the glare while my buddy held a hat to block the front sight glare and most importantly I missed though the hole in the hill behind him showed I was only off by an inch or two.

I’ve met more than a few guys over the years with wild stories, one of my Dad’s personal favorites was the guy that preferred the 30-30 because the 30-06 was too flat. In his words he once saw a bucks antlers sticking above a hill so he took aim and dropped it over the hill hitting nothing but heart.
 
We used to hunt the west slope north of Avon. One year one of the group invites his BIL who supposedly and experienced hunter and acts like he is Daniel Boone. Night before the hunt it snows 2+ feet which made it a PITA for getting around especially at 10k feet. This fudd shoots a cow elk at dusk at at the bottom of a draw multiple times. It's colder than shit and he comes back to camp bragging about he killed an elk. We asked him where it was and said its was at the bottom of Sheep creek. Too cold to get it that night so we agree to retrieve it first thing in the morning. We grab a several back packs and head out. We get there and it's a steep son of a bitch and start to head down but he says he can't go because he has a bad knee. So myself and another guy head down to retrieve the elk. We find the poor animal still alive full of holes. We put it out of its misery, gut, skin and quarter it to pack it out. Took us all day to get the elk out and was beat by the end of the day. Mother fucker never came with us again.
 
If you were a pumpkin at 100y you woukd want me to be shooting at you with the 629 44 mag i had. I hit clay pigeons with it at 100y. Not every shot, but I didn't own it long either. Probably the one gun I sold I would like back.
I second that. My 629 had a 2x EER Leopold on it and busting clays at 100 yard was a breeze. Would have never sold it but unfortunately lost it in a boating accident.
 
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A few weeks ago I was out at a ranch with a group of guys (about 8). This particular ranch, the owner has let me set up some steel targets out to 1100 for customers and such to try. Another gentleman and I were plinking at 650 and and shooting the shit with everyone. Owner shows up and sees use shooting, gets excited and wants to try— this isn’t a problem, I know he has a decent trigger pull but has never shot further than 200 ish. So I start giving him the rundown of my rifle and where to hold on the reticle. While I’m doing this, another gentleman from the group walks over and decides he’s a hotshot coach. He tells the owner something like “ok you have about a 5mph cross wind right here, about 200 yards out it picks up to about 7mph and at the target it’s switches direction to about 45 degrees at 2 mph, hold about 16 inches against the wind, deep breath and you got it.”—- it was something very detailed and complete and utter bullshit. And I don’t know why, but it was so cringy it made me embarrassed. Anyways, owner held where I told him and made a pretty centered impact, then proceeded to make more impacts
 
One day at work some co-workers and I are drinking coffee in the break room and a new guy comes in gets a cup of coffee, and after a few minutes he is telling a couple of the guys about his deer hunt. He said he shot a deer at 700 yards with his 7mm Mag off hand. I asked what was his holdover? He answered back, don`t need to, 7 Mag shoots flat. He said I just held dead on. I walked out of the break room.

A couple days later, same guy is telling another deer hunting story. This time he shot a deer at 1200 yards while laying on a branch up in a tree. Again, I asked what was his hold over. He said, 7 Mag is flat, don`t have to do that. I told him I won`t call you a liar, but that is bullshit. He looked at me not pleased. I said, I own a 7 Mag. He got his cup of coffee and walked out of the break room.

One of the guys asked if his story could be true? I answered, no.
If only he had said 6.5 Creedmoor...