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Maggie’s HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029

vwhugger

The Kindly Curmudgeon
Full Member
Minuteman
Jan 17, 2003
332
95
80
NW WI
<span style="font-weight: bold">I think has been posted before, but it's been a while</span>.

--HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029


Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest
country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California .



White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's
third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.


Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more
years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Lichtenstein. No
other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally,
but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.


Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail
delivery to Wednesdays only.


85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in
Mexifornia and Floruba.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed
they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States
Senate still blocking drilling in ANWAR even though gas is selling for 4532
Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters
and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.
Now, send this to whomever you want and as many as you want, then, guess
what...NOTHING will happen. No miracles, no money, absolutely nothing,
except you might make someone smile or be very very scared.


I Love This Country!



It's The Government That Scares Me!
 
Re: HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029

Funny, but kinda scary too!
crazy.gif