It occurs to me that I have been a very bad American, not doing my part to help win th war in Ukraine. Against those horrible Russians who are merely trying to rid the world of money laundering and child trafficking. Bastards. How dare they try and do harm to the people funding the left and woke movement and all their dreamy socialist visions!
So I think we should organize a campaign to help Ukiraine... and we should do it with great vigor... like the Home Front in WW2 did.
And the best way I can think of is by collecting all our fat and grease and drippings that are so vital to the war effort. These days, people have forgotten that in every ounce of bacon fat or beef tallow there is a little ammo factory that can help save the Ukranians from those horrible Russians. And instead of throwing out that fat, it should be recycled (helping the environment, too) into munitions as soon as possible.
After giving some thought to how the infrastructure would work, I realized that the USG already HAS the infrastructure. Simple flat rate envelopes from the post office! AND because it is helping Ukraine, we really don't have to put postage on it. Just write: "Aid for Ukraine" on the envelope. Pour in your fat (those plastic envelopes hold it nice and tight.) And address it to the Ukrainian Embassy, Washington, DC.
No need for a return address. I mean, we don't want to brag about our generosity, do we? Being the good citizens we are, this should be done with no credit or self-promotion.
With a little promotion and some viral marketing, I think this could go viral! Think about all the good we can do! I, myself, have pounds of bacon fat and related drippings that I'd be delighted to share. Tell your friends! Post on Facebook. This could be huge. Maybe we could get Sean Penn to be our spokesman? Get some kind of "Grease Spot Across America" song done featuring Taylor Swift and some ghey-assed country-pop singers involved. Get McDonalds to dump off their fryer oil? I mean... how could Ukraine lose with that kind of national outpouring of support.
We need a logo, too... And maybe one of those Infomercials on Cable! "Fat to Free Ukraine." You know who would be all over it? Oprah. With a spoon.
Cheers,
Sirhr
So I think we should organize a campaign to help Ukiraine... and we should do it with great vigor... like the Home Front in WW2 did.
And the best way I can think of is by collecting all our fat and grease and drippings that are so vital to the war effort. These days, people have forgotten that in every ounce of bacon fat or beef tallow there is a little ammo factory that can help save the Ukranians from those horrible Russians. And instead of throwing out that fat, it should be recycled (helping the environment, too) into munitions as soon as possible.
After giving some thought to how the infrastructure would work, I realized that the USG already HAS the infrastructure. Simple flat rate envelopes from the post office! AND because it is helping Ukraine, we really don't have to put postage on it. Just write: "Aid for Ukraine" on the envelope. Pour in your fat (those plastic envelopes hold it nice and tight.) And address it to the Ukrainian Embassy, Washington, DC.
No need for a return address. I mean, we don't want to brag about our generosity, do we? Being the good citizens we are, this should be done with no credit or self-promotion.
With a little promotion and some viral marketing, I think this could go viral! Think about all the good we can do! I, myself, have pounds of bacon fat and related drippings that I'd be delighted to share. Tell your friends! Post on Facebook. This could be huge. Maybe we could get Sean Penn to be our spokesman? Get some kind of "Grease Spot Across America" song done featuring Taylor Swift and some ghey-assed country-pop singers involved. Get McDonalds to dump off their fryer oil? I mean... how could Ukraine lose with that kind of national outpouring of support.
We need a logo, too... And maybe one of those Infomercials on Cable! "Fat to Free Ukraine." You know who would be all over it? Oprah. With a spoon.
Cheers,
Sirhr
