Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.
Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you'll be afraid to cough.
You only need two tools in life - WD40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you'll be afraid to cough.
You only need two tools in life - WD40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
