$500 dollars a month and $35 dollars in back pay a month wasnt enough... Court levied my checking and cleaned it out...
Child Support
Fuck California!
Child Support
Fuck California!
- Thread starter blazinpixels
- Start date
Re: I was Raped!
The screwing you get for the screwing you got.......
I'd tell you my tale of being screwed by the child support system, but I don't think it belongs here.
The screwing you get for the screwing you got.......
I'd tell you my tale of being screwed by the child support system, but I don't think it belongs here.
Re: I was Raped!
If you were past due, does that mean the child did not eat have shelter or clothing during that time?
Sorry but I have been paying for somebody else kid for years without getting a nickle for this prick, if you didn't want 18 years of payments you should have worn a rubber.
I don't mean to hurt your feelings but it takes money to raise a kid, and if you created that kid you need to pay that bill.
If you were past due, does that mean the child did not eat have shelter or clothing during that time?
Sorry but I have been paying for somebody else kid for years without getting a nickle for this prick, if you didn't want 18 years of payments you should have worn a rubber.
I don't mean to hurt your feelings but it takes money to raise a kid, and if you created that kid you need to pay that bill.
Re: I was Raped!
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Super Trucker</div><div class="ubbcode-body">If you were past due, does that mean the child did not eat have shelter or clothing during that time?
Sorry but I have been paying for somebody else kid for years without getting a nickle for this prick, if you didn't want 18 years of payments you should have worn a rubber.
I don't mean to hurt your feelings but it takes money to raise a kid, and if you created that kid you need to pay that bill. </div></div>
+1000
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Super Trucker</div><div class="ubbcode-body">If you were past due, does that mean the child did not eat have shelter or clothing during that time?
Sorry but I have been paying for somebody else kid for years without getting a nickle for this prick, if you didn't want 18 years of payments you should have worn a rubber.
I don't mean to hurt your feelings but it takes money to raise a kid, and if you created that kid you need to pay that bill. </div></div>
+1000
Re: I was Raped!
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Super Trucker</div><div class="ubbcode-body">If you were past due, does that mean the child did not eat have shelter or clothing during that time?
Sorry but I have been paying for somebody else kid for years without getting a nickle for this prick, if you didn't want 18 years of payments you should have worn a rubber.
I don't mean to hurt your feelings but it takes money to raise a kid, and if you created that kid you need to pay that bill. </div></div>
Hey if you don't want to pay for the kid walk away! see everybody has that option except for the "father" The woman has the option of being a parent and the new boyfriend has the option of being a parent but the biolgical father has no option he's at the mercy of the woman and court system and we all know how that works out.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Super Trucker</div><div class="ubbcode-body">If you were past due, does that mean the child did not eat have shelter or clothing during that time?
Sorry but I have been paying for somebody else kid for years without getting a nickle for this prick, if you didn't want 18 years of payments you should have worn a rubber.
I don't mean to hurt your feelings but it takes money to raise a kid, and if you created that kid you need to pay that bill. </div></div>
Hey if you don't want to pay for the kid walk away! see everybody has that option except for the "father" The woman has the option of being a parent and the new boyfriend has the option of being a parent but the biolgical father has no option he's at the mercy of the woman and court system and we all know how that works out.
Re: I was Raped!
How about those that get married to a women that had a child with her EX.... then after 5 years of marriage when her child was adopted...due to the biological NOT being around... she decides to take you for child support...
Ohh and this is after the biological OWED 15K and she did NOT go after it... but now gets $300 a month from ME for another 3.5 years....
Sometimes doing the right thing....means you still get screwed...
Matt (LEO SOUTH GA.)
How about those that get married to a women that had a child with her EX.... then after 5 years of marriage when her child was adopted...due to the biological NOT being around... she decides to take you for child support...
Ohh and this is after the biological OWED 15K and she did NOT go after it... but now gets $300 a month from ME for another 3.5 years....
Sometimes doing the right thing....means you still get screwed...
Matt (LEO SOUTH GA.)
Re: I was Raped!
women, and attorneys are not to be trusted...
bench
women, and attorneys are not to be trusted...
bench
Re: I was Raped!
fuck that shit....
fuck that shit....
G
Guest
Guest
Re: I was Raped!
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: mm128</div><div class="ubbcode-body">then after 5 years of marriage when her child was adopted...due to the biological NOT being around... she decides to take you for child support...</div></div>
What part of adoption did you not understand?
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: mm128</div><div class="ubbcode-body">then after 5 years of marriage when her child was adopted...due to the biological NOT being around... she decides to take you for child support...</div></div>
What part of adoption did you not understand?
G
Guest
Guest
Re: I was Raped!
Bottom line is this, stand up and be a fucking man. This is one subject I have no tolerance for. It's the same as fuckers holding their hand up swearing they'll protect and die if need be, then leave your fucking ass in a hole 5K miles from home. You made a commitment, gave your word, now you want to walk away, that's whats wrong with this country.
Shit like this, is why children have to pay all their lives wondering what they did wrong, when it was their parents, who just don't give a fuck. If it were up to me, every sum-bitch that run from their responsibility to their children would never have sex ever again.
Bottom line is this, stand up and be a fucking man. This is one subject I have no tolerance for. It's the same as fuckers holding their hand up swearing they'll protect and die if need be, then leave your fucking ass in a hole 5K miles from home. You made a commitment, gave your word, now you want to walk away, that's whats wrong with this country.
Shit like this, is why children have to pay all their lives wondering what they did wrong, when it was their parents, who just don't give a fuck. If it were up to me, every sum-bitch that run from their responsibility to their children would never have sex ever again.
Re: I was Raped!
Be carefull before you judge...
I made a committment... and stuck to it... she cheated... was caught... then took me to court.... I fought... she won... and then would not allow visitation.... moved....did NOT give an address... then got fired from her job... after lying and stealing... absolutely NO legal recourse in small town politics... No matter how much i tried to call her daughter there was NO contact.... I have gone nearly 3 years with NO contact... but my money is still GOOD....
I find the system flawed.... its in the hands of the mothers... and stays that way no matter what evidence you have...
Be carefull before you judge...
I made a committment... and stuck to it... she cheated... was caught... then took me to court.... I fought... she won... and then would not allow visitation.... moved....did NOT give an address... then got fired from her job... after lying and stealing... absolutely NO legal recourse in small town politics... No matter how much i tried to call her daughter there was NO contact.... I have gone nearly 3 years with NO contact... but my money is still GOOD....
I find the system flawed.... its in the hands of the mothers... and stays that way no matter what evidence you have...
Re: I was Raped!
My only potential problem with these payments are when they are grossly dis-proportionate to what the child actually needs. Some states/judges seem to make these more of a punitive measure than a realistic support measure and that is where I have problem with it.
Courts have a long history of being anti-male...
My only potential problem with these payments are when they are grossly dis-proportionate to what the child actually needs. Some states/judges seem to make these more of a punitive measure than a realistic support measure and that is where I have problem with it.
Courts have a long history of being anti-male...
Re: I was Raped!
You'd have a better chance being a Communist, Homosexual, Jewish Gypsy in a Nazi concentration camp trying to explain to the SS officers why they should let you go than being a Decent upstanding Man and trying to get justice or a fair deal in the family court system of most western countries. Everything is totally biased against men from the top to the bottom, you should hear the horror stories that come out of places like England.
You'd have a better chance being a Communist, Homosexual, Jewish Gypsy in a Nazi concentration camp trying to explain to the SS officers why they should let you go than being a Decent upstanding Man and trying to get justice or a fair deal in the family court system of most western countries. Everything is totally biased against men from the top to the bottom, you should hear the horror stories that come out of places like England.
Re: I was Raped!
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: W54/XM-388</div><div class="ubbcode-body">You'd have a better chance being a Communist, Homosexual, Jewish Gypsy in a Nazi concentration camp trying to explain to the SS officers why they should let you go than being a Decent upstanding Man and trying to get justice or a fair deal in the family court system of most western countries. </div></div>
Profile says Texas, but you sound like you've lived in AZ.
Imagine having child support of $X/mo. Your payroll department calcs your support to be withdrawn from your pay logically by calc'ing $X times 12 for your annual obligation, then divides that annual by number of pay periods per year and sends that in......sounds good yeah? Wrong!!! Fifteen years later you find that every month (8 out of 12) that has four pay periods in it you have been short, and every month that has extra now goes to arrears instead of to that month, over and over.......and that while you've thought you were doing the right thing the state now says you thousands in arrearages and interest!! Not once did anyone notify you that you were in the red from the first month.
........welcome to my world.
All you do-gooders that think every guy that's behind is a deadbeat have no idea of the depth with which our system screws people.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: W54/XM-388</div><div class="ubbcode-body">You'd have a better chance being a Communist, Homosexual, Jewish Gypsy in a Nazi concentration camp trying to explain to the SS officers why they should let you go than being a Decent upstanding Man and trying to get justice or a fair deal in the family court system of most western countries. </div></div>
Profile says Texas, but you sound like you've lived in AZ.
Imagine having child support of $X/mo. Your payroll department calcs your support to be withdrawn from your pay logically by calc'ing $X times 12 for your annual obligation, then divides that annual by number of pay periods per year and sends that in......sounds good yeah? Wrong!!! Fifteen years later you find that every month (8 out of 12) that has four pay periods in it you have been short, and every month that has extra now goes to arrears instead of to that month, over and over.......and that while you've thought you were doing the right thing the state now says you thousands in arrearages and interest!! Not once did anyone notify you that you were in the red from the first month.
........welcome to my world.
All you do-gooders that think every guy that's behind is a deadbeat have no idea of the depth with which our system screws people.
Re: I was Raped!
ok, this is for all the jackasses that have an opinion about child support that aren't paying it or haven't ever paid it, but seem to know all about it, I can tell you first hand about getting screwed by child support, my child support was set at $1178.00 a month for one child, I am an oilfield welder and made good money till the boom busted, I paid for 5 years and never missed a payment untill I went from 100+hrs a week to 0 hrs a week. I petitioned child support enforcement to get it lowered, as you can't pay more than you are bringing in, they (child support enforcement) notified me that they were swamped and it could take 6 to 8 months to get it modified, in the mean time, while im waiting to get it modified they try to suspend my drivers license and my state welding certifications because im behind on the child support that they don't have time to modify, but they have plenty of time to try to suspend all my stuff and make sure I can't or don't get caught up due to not being able to work. When I finally got another job, I had a shit load of stuff to catch up on and when I got my first check, child support levied all my accounts, the way the child support system is set up is bullshit but, that's life
ok, this is for all the jackasses that have an opinion about child support that aren't paying it or haven't ever paid it, but seem to know all about it, I can tell you first hand about getting screwed by child support, my child support was set at $1178.00 a month for one child, I am an oilfield welder and made good money till the boom busted, I paid for 5 years and never missed a payment untill I went from 100+hrs a week to 0 hrs a week. I petitioned child support enforcement to get it lowered, as you can't pay more than you are bringing in, they (child support enforcement) notified me that they were swamped and it could take 6 to 8 months to get it modified, in the mean time, while im waiting to get it modified they try to suspend my drivers license and my state welding certifications because im behind on the child support that they don't have time to modify, but they have plenty of time to try to suspend all my stuff and make sure I can't or don't get caught up due to not being able to work. When I finally got another job, I had a shit load of stuff to catch up on and when I got my first check, child support levied all my accounts, the way the child support system is set up is bullshit but, that's life
Re: I was Raped!
yeah gunfighter giving my oath to defend the constitution is VERY much the same as meeting some slut in a bar getting drunk and getting laid and then having to pay a grand a month for the next 18 years!! your a freaking genius, don't know why i didn't see it sooner.
yeah gunfighter giving my oath to defend the constitution is VERY much the same as meeting some slut in a bar getting drunk and getting laid and then having to pay a grand a month for the next 18 years!! your a freaking genius, don't know why i didn't see it sooner.
Re: I was Raped!
I believe the point was well made above, but it's worth repeating.
Given <span style="text-decoration: underline">the only real fact</span> that kids cost money, who is supposed to pick up the bill for your mistakes?
The community? The State? Other tax payers in general?
Being you drunk, or being her a slut, does not make much of a difference here.
I believe the point was well made above, but it's worth repeating.
Given <span style="text-decoration: underline">the only real fact</span> that kids cost money, who is supposed to pick up the bill for your mistakes?
The community? The State? Other tax payers in general?
Being you drunk, or being her a slut, does not make much of a difference here.
G
Guest
Guest
Re: I was Raped!
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: mm128</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Be carefull before you judge...
I made a committment... and stuck to it... she cheated... was caught... then took me to court.... I fought... she won... and then would not allow visitation.... moved....did NOT give an address... then got fired from her job... after lying and stealing... absolutely NO legal recourse in small town politics... No matter how much i tried to call her daughter there was NO contact.... I have gone nearly 3 years with NO contact... but my money is still GOOD....
I find the system flawed.... its in the hands of the mothers... and stays that way no matter what evidence you have...
</div></div>
My post was directed to the op,(and I stand by it) you man'ed up, the right thing to do. I have no use for those that think they can run from an oath, no matter what the oath was for. The children are the ones that pay all their lives for the 10 seconds of fun their parents had, when one or both jump ship. Ask me how I know, I'm 62 years old with nothing to hide,... anymore.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: mm128</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Be carefull before you judge...
I made a committment... and stuck to it... she cheated... was caught... then took me to court.... I fought... she won... and then would not allow visitation.... moved....did NOT give an address... then got fired from her job... after lying and stealing... absolutely NO legal recourse in small town politics... No matter how much i tried to call her daughter there was NO contact.... I have gone nearly 3 years with NO contact... but my money is still GOOD....
I find the system flawed.... its in the hands of the mothers... and stays that way no matter what evidence you have...
</div></div>
My post was directed to the op,(and I stand by it) you man'ed up, the right thing to do. I have no use for those that think they can run from an oath, no matter what the oath was for. The children are the ones that pay all their lives for the 10 seconds of fun their parents had, when one or both jump ship. Ask me how I know, I'm 62 years old with nothing to hide,... anymore.
G
Guest
Guest
Re: I was Raped!
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: 7.62willdo</div><div class="ubbcode-body">yeah gunfighter giving my oath to defend the constitution is VERY much the same as meeting some slut in a bar getting drunk and getting laid and then having to pay a grand a month for the next 18 years!! your a freaking genius, don't know why i didn't see it sooner. </div></div>
Well, someday when you grow up you'll understand.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: 7.62willdo</div><div class="ubbcode-body">yeah gunfighter giving my oath to defend the constitution is VERY much the same as meeting some slut in a bar getting drunk and getting laid and then having to pay a grand a month for the next 18 years!! your a freaking genius, don't know why i didn't see it sooner. </div></div>
Well, someday when you grow up you'll understand.
Re: I was Raped!
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: rifleman1981</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> suspend my drivers license and my state welding certifications </div></div>
Classic catch 22. They want you to pay so they punish you and then you can't pay... Some states are so stupid.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: rifleman1981</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> suspend my drivers license and my state welding certifications </div></div>
Classic catch 22. They want you to pay so they punish you and then you can't pay... Some states are so stupid.
Re: I was Raped!
The problem really began with no-fault divorce, and proceeded from there.
The problem really began with no-fault divorce, and proceeded from there.
Re: I was Raped!
you all shoulda just kicked the bitch down the steps.problems solved
you all shoulda just kicked the bitch down the steps.problems solved
Re: I was Raped!
Raised two since they were 7 and 9. They are now 24 and 26. Never got a dime from the fucker father. He ran to every state he could to keep from paying ANY child support, much less her alimony. I paid to get her jaw fixed from the times he beat her. Not exactly the model Navy Seal and I know a very rare instance I am sure. The total owed is in the six figures with penalties. Would that make up for how much I spent on those kids? Fuck no. How's this I'll give you $500 dollars a month to raise them and see if you can do it.
I posted a picture of "my son" I raised him so I get to say that. He is a pretty big boy 6'5" 300lbs that boy can destroy some groceries. I could go on.... Rant off.
Keep this in mind. When you get married you end up giving your whole paycheck to your wife. When you get a divorce at least you get to keep half.
You know why a divorce is so expensive? Because it is worth it.
Raised two since they were 7 and 9. They are now 24 and 26. Never got a dime from the fucker father. He ran to every state he could to keep from paying ANY child support, much less her alimony. I paid to get her jaw fixed from the times he beat her. Not exactly the model Navy Seal and I know a very rare instance I am sure. The total owed is in the six figures with penalties. Would that make up for how much I spent on those kids? Fuck no. How's this I'll give you $500 dollars a month to raise them and see if you can do it.
I posted a picture of "my son" I raised him so I get to say that. He is a pretty big boy 6'5" 300lbs that boy can destroy some groceries. I could go on.... Rant off.
Keep this in mind. When you get married you end up giving your whole paycheck to your wife. When you get a divorce at least you get to keep half.
You know why a divorce is so expensive? Because it is worth it.
Re: I was Raped!
Shoot Shovel and shutup!
Shoot Shovel and shutup!
Re: I was Raped!
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Shot In The Dark</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: rifleman1981</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> suspend my drivers license and my state welding certifications </div></div>
Classic catch 22. They want you to pay so they punish you and then you can't pay... Some states are so stupid.</div></div>
You say state,,, I say that this whole country (Canada) is stupid, because it is a federal thing.
And yes, the reasons therein are all stated above, to one degree or another. Except ya'll forgot to mention "best friends"....
More than once, too. It don't pay, let me tell ya.
But I sure do.... let me tell ya about that......
but I'm not bitter.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Shot In The Dark</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: rifleman1981</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> suspend my drivers license and my state welding certifications </div></div>
Classic catch 22. They want you to pay so they punish you and then you can't pay... Some states are so stupid.</div></div>
You say state,,, I say that this whole country (Canada) is stupid, because it is a federal thing.
And yes, the reasons therein are all stated above, to one degree or another. Except ya'll forgot to mention "best friends"....
More than once, too. It don't pay, let me tell ya.
But I sure do.... let me tell ya about that......
but I'm not bitter.
Re: I was Raped!
Just so we are clear I was 15yrs old she was 18
Regardless of paternity test I still have to pay. The moment I turned 18 they deducted from my paycheck. State of California sees that as a waiver
Of my rights to a paternity test.
Yes it's my fault wish I had worn a rubber...
Just so we are clear I was 15yrs old she was 18
Regardless of paternity test I still have to pay. The moment I turned 18 they deducted from my paycheck. State of California sees that as a waiver
Of my rights to a paternity test.
Yes it's my fault wish I had worn a rubber...
Re: I was Raped!
Yea in California they take 70% of my pay and suspend my drivers license then expect me to hold down a job and continue to pay rent and child support
Yea in California they take 70% of my pay and suspend my drivers license then expect me to hold down a job and continue to pay rent and child support
Re: I was Raped!
The system is flawed.
I have personal experience. I pay and have paid ALL my responsibilities. I have had to on more than one occasion have to bring a lawyer into the fray in that my actions were not being represented to the state correctly (PR way of saying she was lieing). Yet when I have my perental rights and visitation trampled I do not have the heavy hand of the state there to protect me.
If I were to miss or underpay a single payment my professional credentials are suspended. If she ignores the agreements that are made and both parties signed to them I get to "take her to court" to enforce my rights and her credentials remain.
Those with the wisdom please explain the justice there....
The system is flawed.
I have personal experience. I pay and have paid ALL my responsibilities. I have had to on more than one occasion have to bring a lawyer into the fray in that my actions were not being represented to the state correctly (PR way of saying she was lieing). Yet when I have my perental rights and visitation trampled I do not have the heavy hand of the state there to protect me.
If I were to miss or underpay a single payment my professional credentials are suspended. If she ignores the agreements that are made and both parties signed to them I get to "take her to court" to enforce my rights and her credentials remain.
Those with the wisdom please explain the justice there....
Re: I was Raped!
very well said Chiller, the law sways heavily in the favor of the woman, the state will represent and defend her 100% of the way, where as if you need assistance you will be told by dhs or child support that you are entitled to get a lawyer, and pay them out the ass to get the visitation or reconcile what the court ordered her to do in the first place, which is what I was told. If I was unemployed and wasn't able to meet my child support quota no way in hell could I afford A lawyer but DHS made sure and tell me that how I paid for my legal council was not there concern, collecting child support was, as previously stated (it's the %?#%ing you get for the *$@%ing you got
very well said Chiller, the law sways heavily in the favor of the woman, the state will represent and defend her 100% of the way, where as if you need assistance you will be told by dhs or child support that you are entitled to get a lawyer, and pay them out the ass to get the visitation or reconcile what the court ordered her to do in the first place, which is what I was told. If I was unemployed and wasn't able to meet my child support quota no way in hell could I afford A lawyer but DHS made sure and tell me that how I paid for my legal council was not there concern, collecting child support was, as previously stated (it's the %?#%ing you get for the *$@%ing you got
Re: I was Raped!
Just F@#king WOW!!!
Sounds like this subject needs to be added to politics and religion as shit we don't talk about here!!!
Always knew there was a reason I never wanted kids and love being single.
Just F@#king WOW!!!
Sounds like this subject needs to be added to politics and religion as shit we don't talk about here!!!
Always knew there was a reason I never wanted kids and love being single.
Re: I was Raped!
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SANDRAT</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Just F@#king WOW!!!
Sounds like this subject needs to be added to politics and religion as shit we don't talk about here!!!
Always knew there was a reason I never wanted kids and love being single.</div></div>
No shit, these types of posts always scare the hell out of me. Marrage and kids seems like a high risk activity.... Good luck to you. I hope it all works out.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SANDRAT</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Just F@#king WOW!!!
Sounds like this subject needs to be added to politics and religion as shit we don't talk about here!!!
Always knew there was a reason I never wanted kids and love being single.</div></div>
No shit, these types of posts always scare the hell out of me. Marrage and kids seems like a high risk activity.... Good luck to you. I hope it all works out.
Re: I was Raped!
Hey dumbass i am grown up and my obligation to the state and woman have been paid off for the last 20 years. my point was that everybody has the option to be a parent from the moment of conception except the sperm donor.
why is it all you little halfwits think that all posters that disagree with your point of view are 12 years old get some new material twit!
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Gunfighter14e2</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: 7.62willdo</div><div class="ubbcode-body">yeah gunfighter giving my oath to defend the constitution is VERY much the same as meeting some slut in a bar getting drunk and getting laid and then having to pay a grand a month for the next 18 years!! your a freaking genius, don't know why i didn't see it sooner. </div></div>
Well, someday when you grow up you'll understand.</div></div>
Hey dumbass i am grown up and my obligation to the state and woman have been paid off for the last 20 years. my point was that everybody has the option to be a parent from the moment of conception except the sperm donor.
why is it all you little halfwits think that all posters that disagree with your point of view are 12 years old get some new material twit!
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Gunfighter14e2</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: 7.62willdo</div><div class="ubbcode-body">yeah gunfighter giving my oath to defend the constitution is VERY much the same as meeting some slut in a bar getting drunk and getting laid and then having to pay a grand a month for the next 18 years!! your a freaking genius, don't know why i didn't see it sooner. </div></div>
Well, someday when you grow up you'll understand.</div></div>
Re: I was Raped!
well, as child of a deadbeat dad, I have to tell you, I have seen the results of years and years of my dad running from state to state and my mom going to the courts to fight for anything she could get. Everytime the court would award her whatever because he stopped showing up after the first couple times. That was some 25-30 years ago. To this day my father is penniless, no job and basically a broken down alcoholic that once had the world in his back pocket. FWIW
well, as child of a deadbeat dad, I have to tell you, I have seen the results of years and years of my dad running from state to state and my mom going to the courts to fight for anything she could get. Everytime the court would award her whatever because he stopped showing up after the first couple times. That was some 25-30 years ago. To this day my father is penniless, no job and basically a broken down alcoholic that once had the world in his back pocket. FWIW
Re: I was Raped!
And now for another view! Her mother and I have raised (our) daughter for the last 18 years with out a penny from her biological father.I had no problem stepping up and taking on the financial responsibilities. We were just as happy to not have the BF in the picture as he was and still is a true dead beat.
I think some people were not cut out to be a parent. If we had a way of knowing who they were, sterilize them.
And now for another view! Her mother and I have raised (our) daughter for the last 18 years with out a penny from her biological father.I had no problem stepping up and taking on the financial responsibilities. We were just as happy to not have the BF in the picture as he was and still is a true dead beat.
I think some people were not cut out to be a parent. If we had a way of knowing who they were, sterilize them.
Re: I was Raped!
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: FarmBoy28</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Just so we are clear I was 15yrs old she was 18
Regardless of paternity test I still have to pay. The moment I turned 18 they deducted from my paycheck. State of California sees that as a waiver
Of my rights to a paternity test.
Yes it's my fault wish I had worn a rubber...
</div></div>
I am not understanding that. You should be allowed a paternity test. Kalifornia allows them 100%.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: rifleman1981</div><div class="ubbcode-body">very well said Chiller, the law sways heavily in the favor of the woman, the state will represent and defend her 100% of the way, where as if you need assistance you will be told by dhs or child support that you are entitled to get a lawyer, and pay them out the ass to get the visitation or reconcile what the court ordered her to do in the first place, which is what I was told. If I was unemployed and wasn't able to meet my child support quota no way in hell could I afford A lawyer but DHS made sure and tell me that how I paid for my legal council was not there concern, collecting child support was, as previously stated (it's the %?#%ing you get for the *$@%ing you got</div></div>
It is heavily swayed for the woman but in most (I did say most not all) the man does not take care of the child and that is the primary responsibly. I know that during a divorce the single most important testimony is from Child services.
My wife and I had always made sure that the kids were able to see their sperm donor. We would treat it as a little 1 or 2 day vacation. I also agree that the system is flawed in many ways but for the most part the attempt to make the kids life somewhat better is there.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: FarmBoy28</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Just so we are clear I was 15yrs old she was 18
Regardless of paternity test I still have to pay. The moment I turned 18 they deducted from my paycheck. State of California sees that as a waiver
Of my rights to a paternity test.
Yes it's my fault wish I had worn a rubber...
</div></div>
I am not understanding that. You should be allowed a paternity test. Kalifornia allows them 100%.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: rifleman1981</div><div class="ubbcode-body">very well said Chiller, the law sways heavily in the favor of the woman, the state will represent and defend her 100% of the way, where as if you need assistance you will be told by dhs or child support that you are entitled to get a lawyer, and pay them out the ass to get the visitation or reconcile what the court ordered her to do in the first place, which is what I was told. If I was unemployed and wasn't able to meet my child support quota no way in hell could I afford A lawyer but DHS made sure and tell me that how I paid for my legal council was not there concern, collecting child support was, as previously stated (it's the %?#%ing you get for the *$@%ing you got</div></div>
It is heavily swayed for the woman but in most (I did say most not all) the man does not take care of the child and that is the primary responsibly. I know that during a divorce the single most important testimony is from Child services.
My wife and I had always made sure that the kids were able to see their sperm donor. We would treat it as a little 1 or 2 day vacation. I also agree that the system is flawed in many ways but for the most part the attempt to make the kids life somewhat better is there.
Re: I was Raped!
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Super Trucker</div><div class="ubbcode-body">If you were past due, does that mean the child did not eat have shelter or clothing during that time?
Sorry but I have been paying for somebody else kid for years without getting a nickle for this prick, if you didn't want 18 years of payments you should have worn a rubber.
I don't mean to hurt your feelings but it takes money to raise a kid, and if you created that kid you need to pay that bill. </div></div>
+1
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Super Trucker</div><div class="ubbcode-body">If you were past due, does that mean the child did not eat have shelter or clothing during that time?
Sorry but I have been paying for somebody else kid for years without getting a nickle for this prick, if you didn't want 18 years of payments you should have worn a rubber.
I don't mean to hurt your feelings but it takes money to raise a kid, and if you created that kid you need to pay that bill. </div></div>
+1
Re: I was Raped!
I tell ya, I've been through the system, paid out 65% of my paycheck in support until my awesome employer at the time went to the state on my behalf...(after going to school to learn how to handle c/s cases).
That said, I remember those days - and that is why I do not keep cash in the bank - hell no. I have a safe in my gunsafe, $6000 sits in it just because of stories like this.
Now all of that said.
Anyone can be a father, but not everyone can be a dad.
I am my daughters dad.
I tell ya, I've been through the system, paid out 65% of my paycheck in support until my awesome employer at the time went to the state on my behalf...(after going to school to learn how to handle c/s cases).
That said, I remember those days - and that is why I do not keep cash in the bank - hell no. I have a safe in my gunsafe, $6000 sits in it just because of stories like this.
Now all of that said.
Anyone can be a father, but not everyone can be a dad.
I am my daughters dad.
Re: I was Raped!
OK part II of the story.
Once they get your money - the state does not see it as support to give you a BASIC canned visitation - so your ex can, like mine, withhold visitation.
If that is the case, get a good attorney and you can rectify that situation. Make sure you do it right the first time.
And while you are at it - most states, California and Washington especially will GIVE you the tax exemption for your child, if you make more than the mother.
You call up the same person that just raped you and you treat her very nicely (The prosecutor that is) and you ask if you may have a hearing on the Child Support order to manage the tax exemption.
FIle the single page paper, go to the hearing and explain that you would like it as it is will help the child by saving you some money every year.
EVERYTHING IN COURT IS FOR THE CHILD - Step out of that mode of thinking and get your ASS handed to you by the judge.
Let me say that again, EVERYTHING IN COURT IS 'FOR THE CHILD'.
But you can get the tax exemption, which is nice because if you still claim zero, make about 50k a year, you'll get $2000 MORE back on your tax check next year.
OK part II of the story.
Once they get your money - the state does not see it as support to give you a BASIC canned visitation - so your ex can, like mine, withhold visitation.
If that is the case, get a good attorney and you can rectify that situation. Make sure you do it right the first time.
And while you are at it - most states, California and Washington especially will GIVE you the tax exemption for your child, if you make more than the mother.
You call up the same person that just raped you and you treat her very nicely (The prosecutor that is) and you ask if you may have a hearing on the Child Support order to manage the tax exemption.
FIle the single page paper, go to the hearing and explain that you would like it as it is will help the child by saving you some money every year.
EVERYTHING IN COURT IS FOR THE CHILD - Step out of that mode of thinking and get your ASS handed to you by the judge.
Let me say that again, EVERYTHING IN COURT IS 'FOR THE CHILD'.
But you can get the tax exemption, which is nice because if you still claim zero, make about 50k a year, you'll get $2000 MORE back on your tax check next year.
Re: I was Raped!
I have a 14 yr old son. I have been divorced for 13 years. I have never paid a dime in child support to my ex wife. HE LIVES WITH ME!. Some women really are too stupid to be allowed to breed. For some reason, most of the ones I have ever been attracted to fall into that category.
She hasn't even sent so much as a birthday card in 13 years.
I have a 14 yr old son. I have been divorced for 13 years. I have never paid a dime in child support to my ex wife. HE LIVES WITH ME!. Some women really are too stupid to be allowed to breed. For some reason, most of the ones I have ever been attracted to fall into that category.
She hasn't even sent so much as a birthday card in 13 years.
Re: I was Raped!
lostangel - I used to have that problem - used to wonder why I ended up with all of the crazy women.
Then I found the common denomenator - it was me..took a 5 year haitus from dating, decided if they even LOOKED crazy to run.
Worked well, met a great gal that loves to shoot, probably more than I do, she's a skydiver, heck of a gal..and doesnt' want anything to do with kids so I get my time with my daughter to myself (SHe respects that)..
Sorry to hear that, gotta be hard on the kid..
lostangel - I used to have that problem - used to wonder why I ended up with all of the crazy women.
Then I found the common denomenator - it was me..took a 5 year haitus from dating, decided if they even LOOKED crazy to run.
Worked well, met a great gal that loves to shoot, probably more than I do, she's a skydiver, heck of a gal..and doesnt' want anything to do with kids so I get my time with my daughter to myself (SHe respects that)..
Sorry to hear that, gotta be hard on the kid..
Re: I was Raped!
I would be willing to bet that 99% of people bitching about paying child support have no F-ing idea what it cost to raise a kid on your own. Given day care, food, and everything else that goes with it. Bottom line is anyone man enough to make a kid should suck it up and take care of their kid, reguardless of how bad you think your getting screwed. Ya, the system is pretty screwed up and yes the men are almost always fighting an uphill battle from the start but its your kid so quit bitching. That goes double for anyone that has an adopted kid.
I would be willing to bet that 99% of people bitching about paying child support have no F-ing idea what it cost to raise a kid on your own. Given day care, food, and everything else that goes with it. Bottom line is anyone man enough to make a kid should suck it up and take care of their kid, reguardless of how bad you think your getting screwed. Ya, the system is pretty screwed up and yes the men are almost always fighting an uphill battle from the start but its your kid so quit bitching. That goes double for anyone that has an adopted kid.
Re: I was Raped!
Simple words to remember
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKDc-euX7ws
and you were once thinking this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DFh1si7fZ0&feature=related
Simple words to remember
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKDc-euX7ws
and you were once thinking this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DFh1si7fZ0&feature=related
G
Guest
Guest
Re: I was Raped!
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: 7.62willdo</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Hey dumbass i am grown up and my obligation to the state and woman have been paid off for the last 20 years. my point was that everybody has the option to be a parent from the moment of conception except the sperm donor.
why is it all you little halfwits think that all posters that disagree with your point of view are 12 years old get some new material twit!
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Gunfighter14e2</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: 7.62willdo</div><div class="ubbcode-body">yeah gunfighter giving my oath to defend the constitution is VERY much the same as meeting some slut in a bar getting drunk and getting laid and then having to pay a grand a month for the next 18 years!! your a freaking genius, don't know why i didn't see it sooner. </div></div>
Well, someday when you grow up you'll understand.</div></div> </div></div>
I know folks in their 70's that never grew up! Everyone should be held accountable for their actions, no matter the action. Fuck and run that's a grown up??? Not in my book. If you were thrown out of the picture later, matters little. If the child was yours or you choose to adopt, either way you made that choice, no one else. Being a Man hurts at times, but who said life was fair.
I being a product of two people who both had issues, I can a test to what a un-wanted child goes threw. In the long run it makes you much stronger, but more importantly you have a better grip on reality. The system in place is not perfect, nor will it ever be. Those that have been in the system think, it's only unfair from their point of view.
When your talking about a child, your talking about someone that mostly can not protect or provide for their self. It's the parents that need to be held to the fire, not the public. Before I married, I made sure she was the one, then rechecked before having children, as I would never allow them to go threw what I did, no matter what it took. I've known plenty of guys that could not pass the test of keeping their words. It was easier for them to walk at the time, then bitch down the road.
I've eat a lot shit over the years but my children(both grown)know who their farther is, and what he stands for or will do w/o question.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: 7.62willdo</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Hey dumbass i am grown up and my obligation to the state and woman have been paid off for the last 20 years. my point was that everybody has the option to be a parent from the moment of conception except the sperm donor.
why is it all you little halfwits think that all posters that disagree with your point of view are 12 years old get some new material twit!
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Gunfighter14e2</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: 7.62willdo</div><div class="ubbcode-body">yeah gunfighter giving my oath to defend the constitution is VERY much the same as meeting some slut in a bar getting drunk and getting laid and then having to pay a grand a month for the next 18 years!! your a freaking genius, don't know why i didn't see it sooner. </div></div>
Well, someday when you grow up you'll understand.</div></div> </div></div>
I know folks in their 70's that never grew up! Everyone should be held accountable for their actions, no matter the action. Fuck and run that's a grown up??? Not in my book. If you were thrown out of the picture later, matters little. If the child was yours or you choose to adopt, either way you made that choice, no one else. Being a Man hurts at times, but who said life was fair.
I being a product of two people who both had issues, I can a test to what a un-wanted child goes threw. In the long run it makes you much stronger, but more importantly you have a better grip on reality. The system in place is not perfect, nor will it ever be. Those that have been in the system think, it's only unfair from their point of view.
When your talking about a child, your talking about someone that mostly can not protect or provide for their self. It's the parents that need to be held to the fire, not the public. Before I married, I made sure she was the one, then rechecked before having children, as I would never allow them to go threw what I did, no matter what it took. I've known plenty of guys that could not pass the test of keeping their words. It was easier for them to walk at the time, then bitch down the road.
I've eat a lot shit over the years but my children(both grown)know who their farther is, and what he stands for or will do w/o question.
Re: I was Raped!
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: trigger time</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I would be willing to bet that 99% of people bitching about paying child support have no F-ing idea what it cost to raise a kid on your own. Given day care, food, and everything else that goes with it. Bottom line is anyone man enough to make a kid should suck it up and take care of their kid, reguardless of how bad you think your getting screwed. Ya, the system is pretty screwed up and yes the men are almost always fighting an uphill battle from the start but its your kid so quit bitching. That goes double for anyone that has an adopted kid. </div></div>
I was the kid.
My dad was screwed, no doubt about it. Basically whatever my mom wanted from the court, she got.
No doubt about it.
At the same time, I think what REALLY deserves some examination is the way that child support is calculated, enforced, etc. In most states, the system is so heavy handed and yet does not provide even the most basic provisions for accurizing the amount owed.
I would totally be on board with the posts about "you are the father, so deal with it" -- IF the system actually worked the way it is supposed to. Your job changes? Good luck with getting that updated in the system. Laid off? Good luck with that. THEY lose some paperwork or miss crediting your account with a payment? YOU are screwed with little recourse.
I think if they made the child support enforcement system in every state accountable for thier actions (e.g. allow you to sue them for negligence), you would find that those 6 month backlogs suddenly go down!
Anyone who thinks that you can somehow magically catch up on your child support when they take away your ability to work (credentials) and your means to work (transportation) is on crack. Once you get behind at all, its very difficult to catch up in many states.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: trigger time</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I would be willing to bet that 99% of people bitching about paying child support have no F-ing idea what it cost to raise a kid on your own. Given day care, food, and everything else that goes with it. Bottom line is anyone man enough to make a kid should suck it up and take care of their kid, reguardless of how bad you think your getting screwed. Ya, the system is pretty screwed up and yes the men are almost always fighting an uphill battle from the start but its your kid so quit bitching. That goes double for anyone that has an adopted kid. </div></div>
I was the kid.
My dad was screwed, no doubt about it. Basically whatever my mom wanted from the court, she got.
No doubt about it.
At the same time, I think what REALLY deserves some examination is the way that child support is calculated, enforced, etc. In most states, the system is so heavy handed and yet does not provide even the most basic provisions for accurizing the amount owed.
I would totally be on board with the posts about "you are the father, so deal with it" -- IF the system actually worked the way it is supposed to. Your job changes? Good luck with getting that updated in the system. Laid off? Good luck with that. THEY lose some paperwork or miss crediting your account with a payment? YOU are screwed with little recourse.
I think if they made the child support enforcement system in every state accountable for thier actions (e.g. allow you to sue them for negligence), you would find that those 6 month backlogs suddenly go down!
Anyone who thinks that you can somehow magically catch up on your child support when they take away your ability to work (credentials) and your means to work (transportation) is on crack. Once you get behind at all, its very difficult to catch up in many states.
Re: I was Raped!
Couldn't agree more about fixing the system, I was talking about how everyone thinks its about them, and would bitch about paying almost anything. They forget it's about the kid.
Also, you make a good point I often think about. It's worth it in the end, because the kid will know. As a Dad, that alone makes it worth it to me in the end. I'm guessing I wouldn't be to far off in thinking you have a good relationship with your dad, and have let your mother know she was wrong.
Couldn't agree more about fixing the system, I was talking about how everyone thinks its about them, and would bitch about paying almost anything. They forget it's about the kid.
Also, you make a good point I often think about. It's worth it in the end, because the kid will know. As a Dad, that alone makes it worth it to me in the end. I'm guessing I wouldn't be to far off in thinking you have a good relationship with your dad, and have let your mother know she was wrong.
Re: I was Raped!
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Oddball-Six</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: trigger time</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I would be willing to bet that 99% of people bitching about paying child support have no F-ing idea what it cost to raise a kid on your own. Given day care, food, and everything else that goes with it. Bottom line is anyone man enough to make a kid should suck it up and take care of their kid, reguardless of how bad you think your getting screwed. Ya, the system is pretty screwed up and yes the men are almost always fighting an uphill battle from the start but its your kid so quit bitching. That goes double for anyone that has an adopted kid. </div></div>
I was the kid.
My dad was screwed, no doubt about it. Basically whatever my mom wanted from the court, she got.
No doubt about it.
At the same time, I think what REALLY deserves some examination is the way that child support is calculated, enforced, etc. In most states, the system is so heavy handed and yet does not provide even the most basic provisions for accurizing the amount owed.
I would totally be on board with the posts about "you are the father, so deal with it" -- IF the system actually worked the way it is supposed to. Your job changes? Good luck with getting that updated in the system. Laid off? Good luck with that. THEY lose some paperwork or miss crediting your account with a payment? YOU are screwed with little recourse.
I think if they made the child support enforcement system in every state accountable for thier actions (e.g. allow you to sue them for negligence), you would find that those 6 month backlogs suddenly go down!
Anyone who thinks that you can somehow magically catch up on your child support when they take away your ability to work (credentials) and your means to work (transportation) is on crack. Once you get behind at all, its very difficult to catch up in many states. </div></div>
RIGHT ON THE MONEY. WELL STATED.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Oddball-Six</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: trigger time</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I would be willing to bet that 99% of people bitching about paying child support have no F-ing idea what it cost to raise a kid on your own. Given day care, food, and everything else that goes with it. Bottom line is anyone man enough to make a kid should suck it up and take care of their kid, reguardless of how bad you think your getting screwed. Ya, the system is pretty screwed up and yes the men are almost always fighting an uphill battle from the start but its your kid so quit bitching. That goes double for anyone that has an adopted kid. </div></div>
I was the kid.
My dad was screwed, no doubt about it. Basically whatever my mom wanted from the court, she got.
No doubt about it.
At the same time, I think what REALLY deserves some examination is the way that child support is calculated, enforced, etc. In most states, the system is so heavy handed and yet does not provide even the most basic provisions for accurizing the amount owed.
I would totally be on board with the posts about "you are the father, so deal with it" -- IF the system actually worked the way it is supposed to. Your job changes? Good luck with getting that updated in the system. Laid off? Good luck with that. THEY lose some paperwork or miss crediting your account with a payment? YOU are screwed with little recourse.
I think if they made the child support enforcement system in every state accountable for thier actions (e.g. allow you to sue them for negligence), you would find that those 6 month backlogs suddenly go down!
Anyone who thinks that you can somehow magically catch up on your child support when they take away your ability to work (credentials) and your means to work (transportation) is on crack. Once you get behind at all, its very difficult to catch up in many states. </div></div>
RIGHT ON THE MONEY. WELL STATED.
Re: I was Raped!
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Oddball-Six</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: trigger time</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I would be willing to bet that 99% of people bitching about paying child support have no F-ing idea what it cost to raise a kid on your own. Given day care, food, and everything else that goes with it. Bottom line is anyone man enough to make a kid should suck it up and take care of their kid, reguardless of how bad you think your getting screwed. Ya, the system is pretty screwed up and yes the men are almost always fighting an uphill battle from the start but its your kid so quit bitching. That goes double for anyone that has an adopted kid. </div></div>
I was the kid.
My dad was screwed, no doubt about it. Basically whatever my mom wanted from the court, she got.
No doubt about it.
At the same time, I think what REALLY deserves some examination is the way that child support is calculated, enforced, etc. In most states, the system is so heavy handed and yet does not provide even the most basic provisions for accurizing the amount owed.
I would totally be on board with the posts about "you are the father, so deal with it" -- IF the system actually worked the way it is supposed to. Your job changes? Good luck with getting that updated in the system. Laid off? Good luck with that. THEY lose some paperwork or miss crediting your account with a payment? YOU are screwed with little recourse.
I think if they made the child support enforcement system in every state accountable for thier actions (e.g. allow you to sue them for negligence), you would find that those 6 month backlogs suddenly go down!
Anyone who thinks that you can somehow magically catch up on your child support when they take away your ability to work (credentials) and your means to work (transportation) is on crack. Once you get behind at all, its very difficult to catch up in many states. </div></div>
While it is probably best that I step away from this topic in that it can tread dangerously close to the politics, religion, and etc basis for not allowing them here on this website. I appreciate your first hand observations of “the system” and your observations as to how it works or does not work. I also appreciate the other posters responses that have risen above themselves to help with the welfare or children that are not legally or biologically theirs. I also appreciate that there is a population of parents (independent of their sex) who do not follow through on their fiduciary responsibilities for the care of their minor children.
All these things be said and acknowledged I am still left with the firm belief that the <span style="text-decoration: underline">system is flawed</span>. That much lip service is given to the concept that financial responsibility and parental rights are at parity in relation to importance. That there are many good parents who must suffer (in large part in silence). That the “state” is concerned with financial accountability and short of finding cigarette burns on the child will not intervene or help affirm parental rights.
I will now step away from this topic. I want to say thank you to those that do more than is asked of them to help the kids.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Oddball-Six</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: trigger time</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I would be willing to bet that 99% of people bitching about paying child support have no F-ing idea what it cost to raise a kid on your own. Given day care, food, and everything else that goes with it. Bottom line is anyone man enough to make a kid should suck it up and take care of their kid, reguardless of how bad you think your getting screwed. Ya, the system is pretty screwed up and yes the men are almost always fighting an uphill battle from the start but its your kid so quit bitching. That goes double for anyone that has an adopted kid. </div></div>
I was the kid.
My dad was screwed, no doubt about it. Basically whatever my mom wanted from the court, she got.
No doubt about it.
At the same time, I think what REALLY deserves some examination is the way that child support is calculated, enforced, etc. In most states, the system is so heavy handed and yet does not provide even the most basic provisions for accurizing the amount owed.
I would totally be on board with the posts about "you are the father, so deal with it" -- IF the system actually worked the way it is supposed to. Your job changes? Good luck with getting that updated in the system. Laid off? Good luck with that. THEY lose some paperwork or miss crediting your account with a payment? YOU are screwed with little recourse.
I think if they made the child support enforcement system in every state accountable for thier actions (e.g. allow you to sue them for negligence), you would find that those 6 month backlogs suddenly go down!
Anyone who thinks that you can somehow magically catch up on your child support when they take away your ability to work (credentials) and your means to work (transportation) is on crack. Once you get behind at all, its very difficult to catch up in many states. </div></div>
While it is probably best that I step away from this topic in that it can tread dangerously close to the politics, religion, and etc basis for not allowing them here on this website. I appreciate your first hand observations of “the system” and your observations as to how it works or does not work. I also appreciate the other posters responses that have risen above themselves to help with the welfare or children that are not legally or biologically theirs. I also appreciate that there is a population of parents (independent of their sex) who do not follow through on their fiduciary responsibilities for the care of their minor children.
All these things be said and acknowledged I am still left with the firm belief that the <span style="text-decoration: underline">system is flawed</span>. That much lip service is given to the concept that financial responsibility and parental rights are at parity in relation to importance. That there are many good parents who must suffer (in large part in silence). That the “state” is concerned with financial accountability and short of finding cigarette burns on the child will not intervene or help affirm parental rights.
I will now step away from this topic. I want to say thank you to those that do more than is asked of them to help the kids.
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