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I'll take an extra prayer or two

So I'm sorry for not being very present and saying the normal things like surgery went real good...I hurt a little...I can feel my feet now and all that...I wish I could but reality for me has been quite different. I was seriously overdosed with opiates at the hospital imho for 4 days straight from a surgery that I should have been discharged from 1 day later. I was shuffled off into an overflow area where the answer for anything seems to have been to give me more pain killers /shrug. It seems like I went from one extreme to another around the Saturday/Sunday timeframe. I was being given (qty 8) 5mg percocet pills plus (qty 3) 2mg hydromorphone pills plus (1) shot of dilaudid every 3 hours on top off (qty 2) 500 mg methocarbamol pills every 6 hours and (qty 1) 25 mg hydroxyzine pills every 6 hours by Monday. I never once in the 5 days I was there saw a physical therapist, not that it would have mattered much really in that mustering up enough coordination to use the bedside urinal was a feat in and of itself =/.

My wife acting as my advocate thank God and threatening an involuntary discharge is what finally got me out of that hell hole. I barely remember coming home...and a day after that was the first time my head came up for air per say from underneath all the opiates...it was triggered by my wife coming into the room where I was laying and me recognizing her but having no idea how I got to there...why I was there...or why I was so completely drugged up. She was actually there to give me more pain pills following the discharge instructions. I yelled at her that something was very wrong...I was hallucinating even looking at her and I felt like I was having a super bad acid trip and overdosing at the same time. Barely able to hang on to that moment of reality but knowing enough to know that it was the drugs that were making me feel this way I yelled at her no more pills.

That was two days ago...the only thing I've allowed myself to take since then is the 40 mg of oxycontin...1 pill every 12 hours...I'm about halfway back at best from where I was in that drugged up nightmare. Similar to a guy in an opiate den that you see in a movie laying off to the side so drugged up that he can't even hold his own head up...well that was me =/...I felt I needed to say something to all the people here on the Hide who prayed for me as far as the outcome of my surgery. As far as I'm concerned your prayers were not just heard but were acted upon as well. My surgery as far as I know went perfectly...the issues arose after the fact and during my recovery while in the care of the nurses. That's where things went sideways.

I need some time now to try and get my head back to normal and processing things right...I still have some unfinished business with some Hide members I need to complete...and then some time off for me to rest and recover. I would certainly like to ask for your prayers just a little bit longer...ones for my physical healing of the surgical site...they cut my muscles up pretty good...and two for my mental situation...that the effects of all those drugs would completely wear off with no lingering side affects. Someone asked how's my pain...under the drugs I was about a 1 to a 3....after cutting most everything out a few days ago I'm around a 7 I guess...but I'll take that over all the drifting out of reality those pills were causing me.

God Bless you all and may each of your days be filled with peace in this unsettling world !
 
such encouraging news after an incredible few days. Hopefully each day will bring you some improvements. Keep the faith.
 
Sorry to her all that, try to get off those painkillers ASAP. There's a Acupuncturist near you in Bellevue, WA I used years ago that could help you without drugs. Sorry but I don't remember her name, she was from China and well trained at two different schools.

Get well, and hopefully you'll be back to your old self before this ever took ahold of you.

God Bless and take care.
 
Sorry to her all that, try to get off those painkillers ASAP. There's a Acupuncturist near you in Bellevue, WA I used years ago that could help you without drugs. Sorry but I don't remember her name, she was from China and well trained at two different schools.

Get well, and hopefully you'll be back to your old self before this ever took ahold of you.

God Bless and take care.
I am...I dumped everything they put me on except the one I've been on for over a year...I have an appt with my Oncologist next week and the good news is...I think the surgery worked in that as far as I can tell all the pain is gone !! I'll be having my Oncologist put me on a taper to get off the remaining pain killer completely. I can't walk yet really...well not anything that resembles normal locomotion lol...I look more like a zombie walking in one of them movies lmao...but physical therapy will get me there one step at a time 👍
 
So three pre-ops today and surgery day after tomorrow. Extremely nervous yes...very apprehensive because it's been so long that I've been in this condition. The surgery they're going to do is a 3 level Bilateral Laminectomy with Discectomy. That's a lot of words, I've never had surgery in my life except my tonsils getting yarded out =/

How I got here. I've had a back going bad on me for years...in 2014 I was medically laid off from Boeing because of it. I couldnt climb around the flight deck troubleshooting stuff any longer, to tight of quarters. I was able to make do and avoid surgery but then at the end of 2019 I got diagnosed with cancer, it was in my blood. To say I was lucky the way it was found is a gross understatement. It was a yearly physical and the piss test that goes along with it revealed an elevated BUN number. All you medical types can follow along. This physical was kinda being forced on me by my primary care provider because I hadn't had one in a few years and to get my Toprol prescription filled she wanted me in for a physical. Pffft...like I cared that much about taking the Toprol...it's a common blood pressure medicine they talked me in to taking some years back because they said I was slightly hypertensive...I said no...I'm half fricken German and this is how we roll lol. I lost that argument back then and have been taking it every since. To me it's been a hook to force me into physicals...they blackmail me by holding the script refills until I come in. It used to really piss me off because I was super active and in excellent shape except for my little back issue. This physical changed all that though as it saved my life.

So my BUN number was little high...still within parameters but elevated a bit. My primary care Dr being proactive as heck I guess got suspicious...she made made me an appt with a Nephrologist. After some test and on Thanksgiving Day 2019 I got a phone call. Healthy as a horse...almost sixty and could still outwork most 30 and 40 year olds..."we think you have cancer, possibly in your blood which really means in your bones because that's where your blood is made". Dinner didn't go so well.

I started treatment on Jan 3rd 2020 in the worst possible way. I had a endoscopy and a colonoscopy scheduled as part of the physical...I didnt want to blow them off so I was trying to squeeze them in before the chemo crap started...i succeeded in getting them both done the same day on Jan 2nd 2020...my first chemo was the next day on jan 3rd...and on Jan 5th I almost died...literally. The cancer I had was Multiple Myeloma with Amyloidosis...that Amyloidosis part means there's possibilities of protein deposits called Amyloid in various places...i guess I had one in the area of my colonoscopy and during the procedure they tried to snare it to remove it thinking it was a normal polyp. It wasn't. It didn't react right to them once they snared it for removal so they stopped and left it alone. No mention of any of that during recovery before I went home. The next day I had my first chemo treatment...and a day after that I almost bled to death.

The Polyp they snared that didnt act right was actually an Amyloid...a protein deposit caused by the type of cancer I had. It started bleeding a few days after they messed with it with the snare. By the time I realized in the middle of the night on the weekend that I had an issue...I had already bled out a considerable amount. At the hospital my hemoglobin was just above 6 and dropping...I had been bleeding out and was about to finish it in the hospital =/...they transfused me right away to try and keep blood in me while it was literally pouring out the other end...then of course I had a reaction to the transfusion and coded right there in the room...talk about a ride lol...finally emergency surgery found the source and cauterized it and they did something else to it that I cant remember...they figured out that the antibodies in the blood they were giving me was the reason for the reaction...so after that was fixed they started filling me back up while giving me a crap ton of morphine and main lining benadryl.

So 3 months later and deeper into the cancer treatment...from the crazy amount of steroids they had me on...the three different types of chemo they were pumping me full of...I had edema going on and I had shot up from 215 lbs to 245 lbs...I had to do something to try and counteract the weight gain. I found a decent medical type treadmill I could walk on so I bought it and started using it. 1 mile the first day, then two the second, then three, then four, then five, then 6, sweeet dropped a couple pounds already...this is going to work...next day I couldnt even get out of bed literally. Not even realizing it...the steroids they had me on...which was basically a weekly rollercoaster type cycle that always started on a Monday to coincide with the chemo cocktail they were infusing me with...3 days on 4 days off...3 days on 4 days off...was masking the fact that all that time initially I was aggravating my back issue tremendously...I just didn't know it because of the steroids...until the down cycle hit and they wore off enough where I realized that morning what I had done. I read the steroids they had me on were about 20 times stronger than prednisone...and I'll tell you...those weekly cycles with the three different chemos at the same time they were giving me...i knew why some people who have been thru it choose death over chemo treatment the second time around. Little did I know how dark the road was still going to get from around this point on. But right now my issue was I cant stand up...my lower back was screaming louder than it ever had before and the sciatica pain down both of my legs made standing or walking almost impossible.

So that was a year ago this past March...March 15th 2020 to be exact...I haven't been able to walk since...or stand for more than a minute or so...my hemoglobin has never been past 9 yet...and I had one choice for surgery along the way...it was either a surgery for my back...or a stem cell transplant to try and beat the cancer...I chose the transplant...even though as super early as my cancer was caught...because of the Amyloidosis part of it...they only gave me about 3 to 5 years to live without the transplant or if the transplant didn't work...that was about a 50/50 chance and if it didnt no more trying it again.

So here I am...I beat the cancer with Gods help...he certainly got me thru it...I pray I'll never have to go down that road again...but I've got a surgery in a couple more days that will determine pretty much everything as far as how my life will be from here on out. By that I mean it will effect everything one way or another...good or bad. I haven't felt my feet for over a year, been able to walk or stand for more than a minute for that long either. I'm hoping there's no permanent nerve damage done due to the compression of my nerves for so long. I'm on Oxycontin 40's twice a day and 5 to 10 mg of Oxycodone every 3 to 4 hours for breakthru pain...and a bunch of Gabapentin to go along with it. My feet go from feeling like they're on fire...to frostbitten...to being repeatedly being jabbed hard and deep with an ice pick...then feeling like they're crushed from being run over by a semi...it's totally ridiculous...I could never get the surgery to help because they killed my immune system to kill the cancer...then the stem cell transplant literally left me without one all together...they rescued me from the last chemo they gave me that was designed to kill everything including me...by harvesting some of my own stem cells before they gave it to me....then once they did and my immune system was killed...along with the cancer in my bones...and as it was killing me they rescued me by giving me back my own previously harvested stem cells that were cancer free...that was the second time I almost bought the farm.

So I'm seeking some prayers...from those that feel inclined...that the surgery will work and I'll be able to feel my feet and eventually with a lot of rehab walk again. That the surgery will go ok and no damage to my spinal cord exists or will happen during it all. That all my issues are related to the surgery I need and not neuropathy, and that in the end I'll be able to taper down and get off these pain pills.

Yeah it's a long post and sorry for that...I even kept it short if you can believe that. Please get your yearly physicals as mine saved my life...and if all goes well I hope to meet as many of you as I can...standing on my feet while I shake your hand at some event in the future. God Bless !!
May have the Lord most high keep you in the palm of his hand and bless you and grant you and your family His peace.
 
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I'm getting better...slowly...but I can tell each day is better than the one before...so glad to be home...so thankful for a loving wife who took care of me when I couldn't take care of myself...and the prayers from the members of the Hide 👍
Awesome sir! I’ll keep praying for you guys! Keep up the fight!
 
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Prayers sent brother in Christ...​

Bless the Lord, O My Soul​

103 Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name!
2 Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits,
3 who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
5 who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
 
Glad to hear your on the road to recovery. Prayers are with you everyday. You will have good days and bad days recovering, but keep a positive outlook, I've been down the road your on now, (spinal fusion C2-T6) the meds they prescribe are way to much IMO, there is one drug you can talk to your Doc about that made all the difference for me, NUCYNTA, its more expensive but worth it, made recovery easier by less mental confusion and no issues being bound up from the oxy's.

Good luck, and sit up as much as possible and take as many steps a day as you can stand, it helps to keep the blood flowing. Gods with you , your prayers have already been answered.............
 
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Wishing you the best. I had major surgery a few years back after coming close to dying in the E.R. ( my own fault). All I wanted to do was get the hell out of that hospital. I took as few pain killers as possible ( Had no choice when it came to the i.v stuff though). The constant parade of different doctors was an area of real stress also, as I would have to retell the story every time of what had happened. The hospitals got a real racket going on these days. All about $$$, yet they are non-profit?

The hospital food alone was enough to motivate me to get out......................God awful stuff. Getting out of that bed was the most painful part, but no where near the pain of sucking down the meals and waiting for the physician to release me. My wife, like yours', lobbied heavily for my early release.

Hope all improves for you and take care.
 
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So I'm sorry for not being very present and saying the normal things like surgery went real good...I hurt a little...I can feel my feet now and all that...I wish I could but reality for me has been quite different. I was seriously overdosed with opiates at the hospital imho for 4 days straight from a surgery that I should have been discharged from 1 day later. I was shuffled off into an overflow area where the answer for anything seems to have been to give me more pain killers /shrug. It seems like I went from one extreme to another around the Saturday/Sunday timeframe. I was being given (qty 8) 5mg percocet pills plus (qty 3) 2mg hydromorphone pills plus (1) shot of dilaudid every 3 hours on top off (qty 2) 500 mg methocarbamol pills every 6 hours and (qty 1) 25 mg hydroxyzine pills every 6 hours by Monday. I never once in the 5 days I was there saw a physical therapist, not that it would have mattered much really in that mustering up enough coordination to use the bedside urinal was a feat in and of itself =/.

My wife acting as my advocate thank God and threatening an involuntary discharge is what finally got me out of that hell hole. I barely remember coming home...and a day after that was the first time my head came up for air per say from underneath all the opiates...it was triggered by my wife coming into the room where I was laying and me recognizing her but having no idea how I got to there...why I was there...or why I was so completely drugged up. She was actually there to give me more pain pills following the discharge instructions. I yelled at her that something was very wrong...I was hallucinating even looking at her and I felt like I was having a super bad acid trip and overdosing at the same time. Barely able to hang on to that moment of reality but knowing enough to know that it was the drugs that were making me feel this way I yelled at her no more pills.

That was two days ago...the only thing I've allowed myself to take since then is the 40 mg of oxycontin...1 pill every 12 hours...I'm about halfway back at best from where I was in that drugged up nightmare. Similar to a guy in an opiate den that you see in a movie laying off to the side so drugged up that he can't even hold his own head up...well that was me =/...I felt I needed to say something to all the people here on the Hide who prayed for me as far as the outcome of my surgery. As far as I'm concerned your prayers were not just heard but were acted upon as well. My surgery as far as I know went perfectly...the issues arose after the fact and during my recovery while in the care of the nurses. That's where things went sideways.

I need some time now to try and get my head back to normal and processing things right...I still have some unfinished business with some Hide members I need to complete...and then some time off for me to rest and recover. I would certainly like to ask for your prayers just a little bit longer...ones for my physical healing of the surgical site...they cut my muscles up pretty good...and two for my mental situation...that the effects of all those drugs would completely wear off with no lingering side affects. Someone asked how's my pain...under the drugs I was about a 1 to a 3....after cutting most everything out a few days ago I'm around a 7 I guess...but I'll take that over all the drifting out of reality those pills were causing me.

God Bless you all and may each of your days be filled with peace in this unsettling world !
Dang man! Prayers continue for your recovery!
 
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Just wanted to thank you guys again for your thoughts and prayers...I actually feel pretty good today...last night was a bit rough but that's to be expected I guess...it always seems to be that way for me anyhow when I'm sick...feel better during the day but crappier at night /shrug. Two things for me are at the top of the list...get my physical therapy going asap and a taper to get off this last pain med. I'm just happy to be at the point of being able to say that...the last year and 4 months has been one rough *ss ride to say the least. God Bless each of you...hug the ones you love and let them know...and may the Lords peace be upon you all !!