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UPDATE!! I found THE APEX OF TOASTERS! Ok, outta left field. Why do modern toasters suck tranny nuts?

Bender

Bender

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Full Member
Minuteman
    • Feb 12, 2014
    12,725
    44,674
    Cheyenne WY.
    EDIT: SEE LAST POST AND FEEL JEALOUS!


    I have a toaster that we got as a wedding present 21 years ago. It’s literally one of those five dollar Christmas bulk cheepo Chinese garbage ones. But it makes perfect toast. About 12 years ago I bought a new fancy chrome expensive one with blue lights, digital read outs, dual cyclonic marzel vanes, the works. Paid too much for it from a fancy store.

    Three days in, I dug my old toaster out of the garbage and took the chrome boat anchor back to the fancy ass department store.

    I still have and love this retarded ugly old toaster with burn marks and imprints of bread bags melted on the side. It looks soo trailer park I might not post a picture.

    so I’m thinking again, but this time I’ll ask.

    who makes a good toaster?
     
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    ABB7A6BA-4B02-4F2E-88B9-A084B262B3C1.png
     
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    Black and Decker toaster oven. Had the same one for 22 years. Their coffee makers are good too. The wife bought a fancy coffee maker a few years back. Didn't last 6 months.
     
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    Bender said:
    I have a toaster that we got as a wedding present 21 years ago. It’s literally one of those five dollar Christmas bulk cheepo Chinese garbage ones. But it makes perfect toast. About 12 years ago I bought a new fancy chrome expensive one with blue lights, digital read outs, dual cyclonic marzel vanes, the works. Paid too much for it from a fancy store.

    Three days in, I dug my old toaster out of the garbage and took the chrome boat anchor back to the fancy ass department store.

    I still have and love this retarded ugly old toaster with burn marks and imprints of bread bags melted on the side. It looks soo trailer park I might not post a picture.

    so I’m thinking again, but this time I’ll ask.

    who makes a good toaster?
    Click to expand...
    You know duct tape is made in some really pretty colors. If you had some you could dress up your old toaster with it.
     
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    Stop eating bread......it will make you fat and someone will start a thread asking if you are fat.

    To stay lean just put your fried eggs between a top and bottom layer of bacon and eat like a sandwich.

    Toasters are round cast iron and say "Lodge" on them
     
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    I have an "upgraded exterior" Proctor-Silex - aka, non-chrome exterior. At least 15 years old. Granted, it doesn't see much use anymore. Dad had the El-Cheapo model Procter-Silex and it was still going when he passed. I bet it was 18 years old and used frequently.
     
    They are putting too much stupid high tech shit on everything now. Toasters, coffee pots, god damn TV's in refrigerators, fucking stupid.
     
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    You've just been looking in the wrong place. Here are a couple of modern toasters that might break the mold of crap-tastic modern toasters. Keep in mind that proper toasting is an art that requires the best equipment, and like precision shooting, you get what you pay for.

    This one has a camera in it that identifies what your cooking and "tells you how to proceed."

    Screenshot_20211019-083844_Samsung Internet.jpg



    This one can only operate on one sheet of bread at a time but "delivers fluffy "raw toast."... Whatever the fuck that is.

    Screenshot_20211019-083917_Samsung Internet.jpg
     
    Personally for small kitchen cooking appliances, when possible I go with Zojirushi
    They are expensive, but built well and stand up to years of daily usage.
     
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    Modern toasters are garbage, just went thru replacing 20 year old toaster oven...
     
    Grandma used to make toast in a pan and I have always done it that way. Little butter and olive oil and toast it on the stove. With good bread the difference is night and day plus you can toast thicker slices and stuff like French bread and sourdough and such. Bagels toasted in a pan
    are orgasmic.

    VooDoo
     
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    pmclaine said:
    Stop eating bread......it will make you fat and someone will start a thread asking if you are fat.

    To stay lean just put your fried eggs between a top and bottom layer of bacon and eat like a sandwich.

    Toasters are round cast iron and say "Lodge" on them
    Click to expand...
    Toast doesn't make you fat. I eat toast, pasta, and all kinds of carbs but I'm not fat.

    The key is balance.
     
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    This is how my wife toast bread and makes grill cheese.

     
    The best toasters are the simplest. No need for all the bells and whistles for something that's just meant to burn bread. I've had them all and we went back to a Toastmaster toaster. Here's a listing on Amazon, just to show the model. No need to buy from Amazon if you don't want to support them

     
    Just wait until you go on a quest to find a simple and decent quality 'long slice' toaster. You know the ones where you can fit a slice of rye bread into, and whatnot. But they call them '4 slice toasters' with the intent of you putting 2 slices in each slot, side-by-each.

    There's a rabbit-hole from hell, right there. Then when you get one that is labeled as 'good' or 'quality', only to get it home and plug it in, where the REAL disappointment starts.

    For example, whichever rocket-surgeon manages the Ni-Chrome wire/ribbon installation.... that simple thing of 'add in extra' so that the ribbon itself can be slightly 'bowed' away from the fiberglass backing so that it actually heats up and glows red. It is ridiculous how a BRAND NEW and relatively 'high dollar' toaster can suck-ass right out of the box. What is the point of a toaster, that doesn't actually heat up and toast bread? Fancy counter-sitter to show off to your neighbors?

    And then you get the pleasure of dealing with even more rocket-surgeons with the 'company help line' and then they send you out replacement '4-slice-toasters' that holds regular bread in short slots, but 4 of them. completely the wrong thing, wrong concept, and not what we were asking for OR talking about. So then when you bring THIS up with them, they send you another one.

    Out of sheer frustration on that topic, My Lady and I used our "free points" on one of our credit cards to buy a 'fancy-schmancey' high-end type toaster with all the bells and whistles.

    I mean you simply place the bread in the slot, and push one of the LED buttons, then an actual MOTOR engages and your toast lowers into the machine. There are all kinds of buttons and indicators and such on this thing, that I never ONCE thought technology could be incorporated into something as simple and as basic as a 'toaster' concept. As far as I know, about the only thing this unit DOESN'T do, is have BluTooth so that you can make toast while driving home from work.

    I mean really,,,, does it have to get this complicated, drawn out, and expensive, just simply to be able to toast an actual slice of rye bread? Of the Hannover style?

    We have a pile of "4 Slice Toaster" in the basement, some still BNIB from the so-called "Customer Service" that we're thinking of listing on Kijiji/Craig's List or something. What an insane rabbit-hole from hell this debacle was.
     
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    I have a “thing” about an uncluttered kitchen counter. I think it is because I work from home, but having “stuff” on the counter drives me crazy. I’m my perfect world, the only things that would be out on the counter when not in use is a knife block- full of knives sharp enough to scare food into slices and dices- and an obscenely expensive end-grain cutting board.

    My wife is the opposite. Any appliance that might get used between the time it is bought and when we sell the house would be a permanent fixture on the counter.

    I, however, win this battle because my day job is in and around the kitchen, and hers is not. I have typed all of the above to preface the remark that a Cuisinart toaster oven has earned a place of prominence on the counter, and our old “toaster” is marking time cluttering up a lower cabinet shelf.
     
    Today's appliances have an "expected lifetime" built into them. That life time clock starts ticking the first time you use it.. Some clocks run faster than other's... LOL.... Cast iron has no expected life time.
     
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    Hobo Hilton said:
    Today's appliances have an "expected lifetime" built into them. That life time clock starts ticking the first time you use it.. Some clocks run faster than other's... LOL.... Cast iron has no expected life time.
    Click to expand...
    Starts when the appliance rolls off the factory line. Compressor went out in our frig. Sears comes out to replace- “you have a 10 year warranty. When did you buy it?” 2018. “Ok, I checked the serial and it was made in 2016, so you still have 5 years on the warranty…”
     
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