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Preferred method for preparing hummingbird tongues?

I usually make hummingbird stuffed puppies.

Hitler taught me this recipe originally, but he used kittens.

After participating in the Nazi Immortality project, I still can’t get the taste of kittens and unicorn semen out of my mouth so I swapped to puppies in the 50s.
 
You guys don’t know how to eat like we do down here in Louisiana.
If you’re not making hummingbird tongue étouffée, served over a big pile of rice, you’re wasting good hummingbird tongues.

After we harvest the tongues, we throw the rest of the hummingbird in a big pot of boiling crab boil. Holy crap! You haven’t eaten till you’ve had a big pot of boiled hummingbirds. It’s like crawfish, but way frikkin better. You can smell them cooking for blocks around. Some down here suck the hummingbird heads, but I can’t bring myself to do that.
 
You guys don’t know how to eat like we do down here in Louisiana.
If you’re not making hummingbird tongue étouffée, served over a big pile of rice, you’re wasting good hummingbird tongues.

After we harvest the tongues, we throw the rest of the hummingbird in a big pot of boiling crab boil. Holy crap! You haven’t eaten till you’ve had a big pot of boiled hummingbirds. It’s like crawfish, but way frikkin better. You can smell them cooking for blocks around. Some down here suck the hummingbird heads, but I can’t bring myself to do that.

What I was going to say in response to this was too fucked up even for me.

That takes some doing. I’ll leave the folks who follow the sick and twisted shit that normally spews out of the top side of my asshole a chance to wonder.
 
Oh come on, you can't leave us hanging after that. ;)

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I feel like I am missing the thread that this is trolling.
 

You are way off...
 
Hummingbirds are best served with spotted owl and baby manatees, but there is a lot of work involved .

First you have to get the spotted owl. My preferred method is to just cut down the tree they are in and when they hit the ground, one or two good wack's with a baseball bat will usually do it . U can even turn it into fun with the family by telling the kids it's whack a mole time
The baby manatees are much easier, you can just run those over with the boat .
As for the hummingbirds I was using a mini taser gun , but I've grown lazy as of late so now I just use a bug zapper that's shaped like a hummingbird feeder and painted red .
 
While I enjoy a hummingbird just as much as the next person. Chimney swifts are definitely the pinnacle of bird hunting. Nothing is faster and more fun.
 
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Hummingbirds are best served with spotted owl and baby manatees, but there is a lot of work involved .

First you have to get the spotted owl. My preferred method is to just cut down the tree they are in and when they hit the ground, one or two good wack's with a baseball bat will usually do it . U can even turn it into fun with the family by telling the kids it's whack a mole time
The baby manatees are much easier, you can just run those over with the boat .
As for the hummingbirds I was using a mini taser gun , but I've grown lazy as of late so now I just use a bug zapper that's shaped like a hummingbird feeder and painted red .
I like wounding those seals by cutting of one of they’re arms. Then watch em swim in circles! Passes ones time nicely!
 
I used to work in a restaurant at the New York Times and the only way to cook them is in a particle collider.

You sprinkle them with a lot of ego and bit of humility, then pound them with a continuous stream of protons till light brown.

Then let them breathe and cool on the counter for a few minutes. Finally pat yourself on the back (very important) and serve with tweezers. :)
 
I used to work in a restaurant at the New York Times and the only way to cook them is in a particle collider.

You sprinkle them with a lot of ego and bit of humility, then pound them with a continuous stream of protons till light brown.

Then let them breathe and cool on the counter for a few minutes. Finally pat yourself on the back (very important) and serve with tweezers. :)
Did you perhaps work on the Therac-25 project?
 
Ive heard tales that you can dry them out, mash them into powder and snort them off a strippers tits and it smells like fresh flowers... and stripper sweat.
Just don't accidentally buy counterfeit hummingbird powder.

You can tell its not the real deal because real hummingbird powder is sparkly red in color, and doesn't make your nose go numb like that nasty white shit.
 
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Just don't accidentally buy counterfeit hummingbird powder.

You can tell its not the real deal because real hummingbird powder is sparkly red in color, and doesn't make your nose go numb like that nasty white shit.
Dude sparkly red off a strippers tits? Gonna have to break it to ya... that was glitter you got that time.
 
I feel like I am missing the thread that this is trolling.
This is what the actual "The Chair is Against The Wall" thread looks like buddy.

Its all code words, WARORDS, op plan authorizations, target package selection.

The code book is revealed when you interleave the Bible and "Catcher in the Rye", combining it by interleaving 1 word in the Bible per one sentence in CR. Strip the first word off the sentence in Catcher in the Rye and replace it with the word from the Bible.

For example:

BIBLE CR
"IN" "MY MOTHER"

This code word pairing means you should go upstairs and do your mother. Rally point Mom, Phase Line Oedepus. Full assault.