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Proofs that English is a bonkers language

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Umm, yeah. Because saying "Ofen" sounds like a redneck asking his Dad to get off on his sister. As is, "Dad, let me know when you get off'en sis, 'cause it's 'bout'en my turn."

It was a joke, but as long as I already hurt your feelings. why is one silent letter any different than others?

Oh, and people really talk funny in your part of the country.
 
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Card carrying member of the grammar police. Got a badge: "To serve and correct."

Lot's of bad writing out there - have to just grin and bear it most of the time as my boss is a major offender. One that gets me: "I'm wanting to go to lunch." Why not, "I want to go to lunch"? Southern translation seems to be, "I'm fixin' to go to lunch." Just go!

Another bothersome one: "It's a mute point." No - it's a "moot" point.

Along the same lines as, "For all intense and purposes."

I fear the texting generation will lead to the destruction of the language.
 
Don't get me started on punctuation . . .

I'm a solid believer in the Oxford, or sometimes referred to as the Harvard, comma.

Though not really an example of the Oxford comma - here's how important a comma can be -- "Let's eat grandpa" vs. "Let's eat, grandpa."

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I've given away at least a dozen copies of this book. I have three copies on the shelf right now just waiting for the right recipient.
 
Begging the question does not mean what you think it does.
 
Nothing wrong with resurrecting old threads if they are good ones. This thread is a lot more fun and entertaining than most of the threads going on around here...
 
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Please explain "lot's of" vs "lots of" vs "lots" vs "a lot of"
Lot's: Bad writing attributed to Lot. Bad writing traced as far back as Sodom & Gomorrah. Biblical in proportions. Also attributed to fat fingers coupled with lack of adequate grammar & punctuation apps for internet posts. :rolleyes:

All the rest, when used in the context of quantity means "Many", usually used informally.
 
English is indeed very complex and confusing. It is quite difficult for foreigners to learn English. In elementary school, I also had a pretty hard time memorizing all these rules and grammar. Now I am watching my children, and they are also experiencing some difficulties with the English language. So, in addition to the lessons at school, I also try to find additional materials for them to learn English. This helps them learn and understand the material or topic faster. I found these worksheets on https://englishlinx.com. They are absolutely free. You just need to download and print them.
 
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Bonkers, but has also given us the greatest word ever. The beautiful, versatile fuck

 
You're not a necromancer if it's your own thread.

English walks into a bar.

A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

A question mark walks into a bar?

A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

A synonym strolls into a tavern.

At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

A dyslexic walks into a bra.

A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television getting drunk and smoking cigars.

A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.
 
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You're not a necromancer if it's your own thread.

English walks into a bar.

A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

A question mark walks into a bar?

A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

A synonym strolls into a tavern.

At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

A dyslexic walks into a bra.

A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television getting drunk and smoking cigars.

A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.
A Lake Erie Walleye walks into a bar, gets stabbed in the gut and eviscerated; a man cries out, "Lead from the front!"