The "Old Order" were a handful of large landowners who had power because they had inherited status and money, not because they had any honor.
Pushkin's young wife got drunk and then got frisky with a dueling expert who was also a womanizer. Pushkin challenged the man to a duel to "save his honor." Pushkin died while his wife, now sober, cried over him.
Where is the honor in shooting an untrained man or taking advantage of his naive wife who loved him?
Your average Master or grand Master has a .5 sec first shot from draw to an A ring at 10 yards. Who would want their son to face someone like that today? Now imagine a bully who is a Grand Master. he could basically get away with anything.
Dueling benefited powerful bullies who had time and resources to become very good. It was their hobby. They got street cred within a small social circle and the rest of society lived in fear of them and refused to challenge them no matter how bad they were. Declining a duel was further used within that circle to further denigrate a good man to the benefit of that group.
Yeah, there are romantic accounts of those men, but the reality is more like Clint Eastwood's "Unforgiven" and the Duck of Death.
Bullies still exist today but the ones that I've encountered were all cowards. When it came to fists and street fighting, they had glass jaws. They also didn't know how to fight anyone that likes to cheat with a little marshal arts sprinkled in.
I'm not saying that you are entirely wrong nor are you entirely correct. Regardless, Pushkin might have been better off divorcing his whore wife. Back then, men had the upper hand in divorce cases. He could have kicked her to the curb then let the dueling expert have her, if he would take her.
Back in my younger days if a girl that I took on a date started flirting with a guy too much, I left her. She was the one that FAFO. Women are like buses. If you miss one, there is another that comes along.
You are correct that there is no honor in killing an untrained man unless he's a turd that doesn't have any decency or respect for others. There is no such thing as a fair poker game, fair divorce court or a fair fist fight.
As far as honor goes, my Father use to tell me that when someone insulted me that it hurt them more when I laughed it off. It was a lesson that took me many years to learn but I have learned that when they don't get a reaction from me that it angers them even more.
Yet, there are times when someone needs put in their place. The lawyer, in my story is a good example. He pulled every dirty trick in the book in court to win the case. He went too far when he said he could beat me up. That required a challenge.
If dueling to the death were legal, I would have challenged him to the death. There are some other folks that I would like to challenge.
Now if I'm correct on the customs, the person being challenged gets to choose the weapons. That's good because I suck a sword fighting. On the other hand, I would have fun insulting the honor of some real turds to the point that they would have to challenge me. I choose pistols at twenty paces.
Before they decide to accept my challenge, I would be nice enough to demonstrate my skillsets. Satisfaction would be met if they signed a simple statement which reads, "I'm a POS."
Some of what you say is true about the bullies but that's why they came up with rules for dueling in an attempt to keep it fair.
Look up the case of Kenneth McElroy. He was a modern day bully. If Missouri would have had let citizens CCW back then he probably would not have got away with so much. Had dueling been legal, he might have been a challenger or not. One thing is certain, he wasn't brave but just big and stupid. That's also why there was more back shooting in the old west than the Hollywood gunfights in the street. That's why he was perforated from behind.
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