Dear Amy,
You are a ignorant, smug, elitist cunt. Studies show people like you, and the idiots who seek your advice, are 26 times more likely to die a victim of violent crime than the average gun owner.
You should find another line of work more befitting your qualifications. Might I suggest you apply for a job as a carnival Barker, or perhaps guess people's age or weight at the county Fair.
Your advice is shit.
Glad I could help,
The Chikn