Maggie’s SOUTHERN WOMEN

shooter65

General
Banned !
Minuteman
  • Jun 19, 2004
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    49,393
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    Indiana
    Southern women appreciate their natural assets:

    Clean skin.

    A winning smile.

    That unforgettable Southern drawl.



    Southern women know their manners:

    "Yes, ma'am."

    "Yes, sir."

    "Why, no, Billy!"



    Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions

    "Y'all come back!"

    "Well, bless your heart."

    "Drop by when you can."

    "How's your Momma?"





    Southern women know their summer weather report:

    Hot, Humid

    Hot, Humid

    Hot, Humid



    Southern women know their vacation spots:

    The beach

    The rivuh

    The crick



    Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:
    < BR>Colorful hi-heel sandals

    Strapless sun dresses

    Iced sweet tea with mint



    Southern women know everybody's first name:

    Honey

    Darlin'

    Shugah



    Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:

    Fried Green Tomatoes

    Driving Miss Daisy

    Steel Magnolias

    Gone With The Wind



    Southern women know their religions:

    Baptist

    Methodist

    Football



    Southern women know their country breakfasts:

    Red-eye gravy

    Grits, Eggs

    Country ham

    Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly



    Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:

    Chawl'stn

    Meem fis

    S'vanah

    Foat Wuth

    N'awlins

    Addlanna



    Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:

    Men in uniform.

    Men in tuxedos

    Rhett Butler



    Southern girls know their prime real estate :

    The Mall

    The Country Club

    The Beauty Salon



    Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:

    Having bad hair and nails

    Having bad manners

    Cooking bad food



    More Suthen-ism's :

    Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissy fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.



    Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."



    Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."



    Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to town, be back directly." (corre ctly pronounced "drectly")



    Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.


    All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.



    Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!



    Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.



    No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.



    A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.



    Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, . .. and when we're "in line," We talk to everybody.



    Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.



    In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.



    Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.



    Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.



    When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!



    Only true Southerners say "sweet tea"and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar an d lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermil k.



    And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little o ld ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say," Bless her heart" ... and go your own way.



    To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!



    And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."



    Southern girls know men may come and go,but friends are fahevah !


     

    Fighthard

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    Minuteman
    Feb 14, 2008
    298
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    Chattanooga, TN
    Re: SOUTHERN WOMEN

    My friend and I were discussing the perfect food today at lunch and decided that it is

    One inch cubes of lean pork cooked slowly in pork fat, wrapped in bacon and served with cat head biscuits (lard version) and washed down with tea (the southern type).

    BTW the collards, potato salad, baked beans with meat on top with bacon on top of that, and]okra would have to be included as sides with the aforementioned banana pudding [sic] as a given.

    chicken, pork, barbecue, no taxes, hotties in sun dresses and the South all ROCK.
     

    Jon Lester

    Gunny Sergeant
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    Minuteman
    Mar 7, 2004
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    Tazewell . Virginia
    Re: SOUTHERN WOMEN

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Fighthard</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My friend and I were discussing the perfect food today at lunch and decided that it is

    One inch cubes of lean pork cooked slowly in pork fat, wrapped in bacon and served with cat head biscuits (lard version) and washed down with tea (the southern type).

    BTW the collards, potato salad, baked beans with meat on top with bacon on top of that, and]okra would have to be included as sides with the aforementioned banana pudding [sic] as a given.

    chicken, pork, barbecue, no taxes, hotties in sun dresses and the South all ROCK. </div></div>


    Them biscuits better be hand choked. None of that cut out stuff you see today.
     

    robozebra

    Doc
    Full Member
    Minuteman
    Feb 23, 2007
    313
    50
    Oklahoma City OK
    Re: SOUTHERN WOMEN

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Fighthard</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My friend and I were discussing the perfect food today at lunch and decided that it is

    One inch cubes of lean pork cooked slowly in pork fat, wrapped in bacon and served with cat head biscuits (lard version) and washed down with tea (the southern type).

    BTW the collards, potato salad, baked beans with meat on top with bacon on top of that, and]okra would have to be included as sides with the aforementioned banana pudding [sic] as a given.

    chicken, pork, barbecue, no taxes, hotties in sun dresses and the South all ROCK. </div></div>

    A future patient.... I'm so glad I live in the South. I'll never be short on patients...LOL

    CWJ

     

    jrhammons

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    Nov 9, 2006
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    CenAr
    Re: SOUTHERN WOMEN

    You mean they make tea that ain't sweet. Damned communists I tell ya. I have heard my mama say all of those and have doen most if not all displayed but you have to add homemade chicken and dumplings to that list with Kayro nut pie (for you northerners that would be Pecan pie but it ain't pronounced "pee-can" cause thats what we keep beside the bed)or chocolate for friends and relatives as well with real troubles.
     

    alreadygone

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    Mar 16, 2006
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    Cave City AR
    Re: SOUTHERN WOMEN

    Roun' here if you hear someone complain that the tea's to sweet, you'd swear they wuz talkin through they nose.

    Bob
     

    Maggot

    Better to die on your feet than live on your knees
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  • Jul 27, 2007
    16,526
    14,470
    Virginia
    Re: SOUTHERN WOMEN

    Half a brown sugar pie washed down with a 16 oz Pepsi.
     

    LAR Dragoon

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    Oct 3, 2004
    1,624
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    SC
    Re: SOUTHERN WOMEN

    Did someone lose a Southern girl and now wish they had her back?

    Plenty of them down here where I am.

    I will PIMP for high end scopes and ammo!
     

    tat1987

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    Minuteman
    Apr 21, 2008
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    Norfolk, VA
    Re: SOUTHERN WOMEN

    All of that was right on the money and I love it. The only bad thing about growing up in the South is the fact that I have to take a translator with me when I go on vacation anywhere out of the South. Apparently nobody can understand anything I say. It entertains my friends to no end though.
     

    McCrazy

    Your tax $$$ no longer at work.
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    Minuteman
  • Jun 4, 2008
    1,074
    141
    Houston, Texas
    Re: SOUTHERN WOMEN

    I'm originally from Southern California but have spent most of my adult life in the South. Definitely like the hospitality and attitudes more and the mannerisms can be rather enjoyable. It just sucks when I go back home and people make fun of my new accent when it slips.
     

    SSG Mac

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    Dec 29, 2007
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    Bluff City, TN
    Re: SOUTHERN WOMEN

    "It just sucks when I go back home and people make fun of my new accent when it slips."

    Screw'em Staff: they don't know what they're missing.
     

    Victor N TN

    Retired civilian fart
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    Minuteman
    Feb 16, 2002
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    Knoxville TN
    Re: SOUTHERN WOMEN

    I used to call on a salesman in Detroit to order supplies. His secretary used to get her friends on the line to hear me talk. I talk to way I always have...
     

    Switchblade

    muf kin poser
    Full Member
    Minuteman
    Re: SOUTHERN WOMEN

    Souf Kakalaki's Best!
    hamer_women.jpg
     

    shulette

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    May 21, 2006
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    Memphis,Tn
    Re: SOUTHERN WOMEN

    We were in a small restaurant in upstate NY a few years back. The waitress, oops 'server', handed us the menus and after after we said hello the first thing out of her mouth was "I'm sorry but I have to tell up front that we don't have sweet tea".
     

    bachelorjack

    Retired Pirate of Leisure
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    Minuteman
  • Sep 10, 2007
    1,650
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    Columbia, SC
    www.snipershide.com
    Re: SOUTHERN WOMEN

    Honestly. I dislike southern women.

    I don't know what that says about me. I just find them worthless, except for one thing. They are some of the most boring and useless creatures I have ever encountered.

    I would have never reached this conclusion if I hadn't left the south and traveled a bit. But now I find myself eagerly awaiting my move out of here again. In the meantime I keep myself busy with girls from out of state here for school. Florida, Virginia, Ohio, Arizona, and Jersey are my mainstays.
     

    McCrazy

    Your tax $$$ no longer at work.
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    Minuteman
  • Jun 4, 2008
    1,074
    141
    Houston, Texas
    Re: SOUTHERN WOMEN

    Maybe that is why you are still a bachelor Jack
    smile.gif


    SSG Mac- Good to see another SSG Mac out there.
     

    -=boone=-

    Sergeant
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    Minuteman
    Jan 6, 2009
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    Charleston, WV
    From GA.

    I do not have a accent. Everyone north of the Mason Dixon line does.

    Never try to order sweet tea in Min-ee-soota, you just in up in a discussion explaining how to make it.
     

    shaman

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    Nov 24, 2008
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    Frankfort, Kentucky
    Born and raised small town Texan. But the accent never stuck, and it doesn't seem to bother me much. But only one person that had just met me could ever tell where I was from. Wife is Japanese. Understands me no problem. Worked with some Brits for 2 years and can understand them pretty well, but when she came home to meet the family, I had to translate what my grandmother said, and she still can't completely understand my father.
     

    Wes_Mantooth

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    Jun 11, 2011
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    Midwest USA
    You missed one.

    Southern women know how to cuss out a state trooper for three minutes straight without taking the cigarette out of her mouth or repeating herself.
     

    Kinsman

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    Feb 21, 2006
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    Dallas, Georgia
    I was born and raised in the South. Georgia, Alabama, and Mississippi, mostly.
    I love the South and the soft spoken southern women.
    I have spent a good deal of time in the North, Illinois, Washington D.C., and Maryland, mostly. I found the Northern women to be cold, distant, ill mannered, and generally disgusting.
    I didn't find one of them with "Thank you", in her vocabulary. I married a girl from Dog Town Alabama, and have been ha;ppy for 45 years.
    No Damyankee women for me.
     

    LSOSGT1109

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    Oct 19, 2006
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    London, KY
    My wife makes fun of me for calling it sweet milk and she's as country as fried taters! Hell I always thought if it wasn't butter milk, it was sweet milk! She really has no room to talk since she warshes cloths in the warshing machine! LOL. I have family in northern Indiana and they can't understand much of anything I say but that's okay cause I hate the way they talk so I just don't talk to them very much! LOL