Guys, next time your Wife/GF/Gal Pal/Sister/Niece/Mom drags you shopping....
When you get bored, case the fitting room area.
There will be at least one Fitting Room Nazi working the rooms. Trust me, I know. I grew up with 2 older sister's plus mom. I was forever drug to women's clothing stores/departments ad nauseam.
Make sure to get that person's name.
You'll need to be holding a scarf, down by your side of course, to have an excuse to use a room.
When she looks at you like your weird to want to try on a scarf in a fitting room, look right back at her like she is judging you, a hater and being politically incorrect.
Gain access to a fitting room via the FRN. We'll call her Cheryl.
Sit there, in the room for a long while. Use this time wisely. I normally whip out my phone. Delete your trillion old emails, check the news, explore today's social media, etc. Make sure to pull up the Jeopardy theme song via YouTube and play it aloud two separate times. But not back to back.
Hopefully Cheryl will eventually come check on you, verbally.
If so, see ***
If Cheryl doesn't come check on you, shout aloud for Cheryl to come over. When Cheryl the FRN arrives, explain through the wall:
** "there's no toilet paper in here. I'm SO sorry I didn't notice when I came in here. I'm gonna have to have some toilet paper." (mutter under your breath, just barely loud enough for her to make it out: "Why always the corn?") Resume your narrative at normal conversational volume once again: "Cheryl, I'm sorry but you're just going to have to come up with some TP and toss it over the wall." And say "surely a store like this has a janitor, right? Gah."
Done!
SCORE for the brothers forced to shop!
At minimum, you got your chuckles.
But maybe...the manager will insist that you AND your female companion leave the store... and never come back!
DOUBLE SCORE!
When you get bored, case the fitting room area.
There will be at least one Fitting Room Nazi working the rooms. Trust me, I know. I grew up with 2 older sister's plus mom. I was forever drug to women's clothing stores/departments ad nauseam.
Make sure to get that person's name.
You'll need to be holding a scarf, down by your side of course, to have an excuse to use a room.
When she looks at you like your weird to want to try on a scarf in a fitting room, look right back at her like she is judging you, a hater and being politically incorrect.
Gain access to a fitting room via the FRN. We'll call her Cheryl.
Sit there, in the room for a long while. Use this time wisely. I normally whip out my phone. Delete your trillion old emails, check the news, explore today's social media, etc. Make sure to pull up the Jeopardy theme song via YouTube and play it aloud two separate times. But not back to back.
Hopefully Cheryl will eventually come check on you, verbally.
If so, see ***
If Cheryl doesn't come check on you, shout aloud for Cheryl to come over. When Cheryl the FRN arrives, explain through the wall:
** "there's no toilet paper in here. I'm SO sorry I didn't notice when I came in here. I'm gonna have to have some toilet paper." (mutter under your breath, just barely loud enough for her to make it out: "Why always the corn?") Resume your narrative at normal conversational volume once again: "Cheryl, I'm sorry but you're just going to have to come up with some TP and toss it over the wall." And say "surely a store like this has a janitor, right? Gah."
Done!
SCORE for the brothers forced to shop!
At minimum, you got your chuckles.
But maybe...the manager will insist that you AND your female companion leave the store... and never come back!
DOUBLE SCORE!
