Here is the difference between men and women:
MAN: Honey, it’s time for our dental cleanings again. Want me to make an appointment for you when you’re downtown next Monday?
WIFE: Sure.
MAN: Okay, what time’s good for you?
WIFE: Any time’s fine.
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What she REALLY means by “Anytime”:
Of course, he knows I do my workout in the morning and that I would prefer not to change it because I can never get the bike I like unless I’m there by eight. And I hate to work out later in the afternoon because Janice is there, and he knows I can’t stand her ever since that slut hit on him last year at the work thing. I still don’t believe nothing ever happened between them, I mean they worked together all those years right? And what exactly does “nothing” mean anyway –like Bill Clinton means it, or really nothing? I’ll kill that bitch - and him - if I ever find out. My cousin Andrea once said – oh, yeah! Andrea called me last week to suggest lunch Monday at 2 because she knows I’m downtown on Mondays! Did I tell him that…? Oh yes, I mentioned it last Saturday when he was reading the paper so he heard me. He wouldn’t dare forget something like that…not so close to his birthday anyway (how did that get to be an automatic anyway..?). He knows how much I love Andrea and we never get to see each other anymore. And after the brunch “incident” when I didn’t speak to him for two days after that inconsiderate bastard was an hour late because he had to go into the office (was Janice there? Hmmm)…anyway, he’ll never screw up scheduling again. If he does, he’s screwed on his birthday! Not, I mean. Should I remind him about the Andrea lunch on Monday? I mean he’s just sitting right there. No…he’ll remember. He’s not like Andrea’s husband (who makes less than mine including the bonus, despite was she says). My teeth are better than Janice’s too, I’m sure…and I don’t wear ugly red pumps either. Bitch.
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What ACTUALLY happens:
MAN: I’d like to make an appointment for my wife please, next Monday.
OFFICE: We have 9, 9:30, 2 and anytime in the evening; what time would you like?
MAN: She said anytime, you pick.
OFFICE: Okay, how about 2PM?
MAN: Done. Thanks!
MAN (thinking): Wasn’t that swell of me? Taking time to do that for her, and even remembering the whole annual dental cleaning thing? Yeah. I rock. My birthday is Thursday after all, and we know what THAT means ( Grin) so it’s good to do these little things and keep her happy so NOTHING messes that up. I am such a clever husband. Or at least Janice said I was clever. If only my wife would wear heels like that….
MAN: Honey, it’s time for our dental cleanings again. Want me to make an appointment for you when you’re downtown next Monday?
WIFE: Sure.
MAN: Okay, what time’s good for you?
WIFE: Any time’s fine.
-----
What she REALLY means by “Anytime”:
Of course, he knows I do my workout in the morning and that I would prefer not to change it because I can never get the bike I like unless I’m there by eight. And I hate to work out later in the afternoon because Janice is there, and he knows I can’t stand her ever since that slut hit on him last year at the work thing. I still don’t believe nothing ever happened between them, I mean they worked together all those years right? And what exactly does “nothing” mean anyway –like Bill Clinton means it, or really nothing? I’ll kill that bitch - and him - if I ever find out. My cousin Andrea once said – oh, yeah! Andrea called me last week to suggest lunch Monday at 2 because she knows I’m downtown on Mondays! Did I tell him that…? Oh yes, I mentioned it last Saturday when he was reading the paper so he heard me. He wouldn’t dare forget something like that…not so close to his birthday anyway (how did that get to be an automatic anyway..?). He knows how much I love Andrea and we never get to see each other anymore. And after the brunch “incident” when I didn’t speak to him for two days after that inconsiderate bastard was an hour late because he had to go into the office (was Janice there? Hmmm)…anyway, he’ll never screw up scheduling again. If he does, he’s screwed on his birthday! Not, I mean. Should I remind him about the Andrea lunch on Monday? I mean he’s just sitting right there. No…he’ll remember. He’s not like Andrea’s husband (who makes less than mine including the bonus, despite was she says). My teeth are better than Janice’s too, I’m sure…and I don’t wear ugly red pumps either. Bitch.
-----
What ACTUALLY happens:
MAN: I’d like to make an appointment for my wife please, next Monday.
OFFICE: We have 9, 9:30, 2 and anytime in the evening; what time would you like?
MAN: She said anytime, you pick.
OFFICE: Okay, how about 2PM?
MAN: Done. Thanks!
MAN (thinking): Wasn’t that swell of me? Taking time to do that for her, and even remembering the whole annual dental cleaning thing? Yeah. I rock. My birthday is Thursday after all, and we know what THAT means ( Grin) so it’s good to do these little things and keep her happy so NOTHING messes that up. I am such a clever husband. Or at least Janice said I was clever. If only my wife would wear heels like that….
