Texas has come up with a list akin to the Rosetta stone for translating conversations with liberals. Texas Translations of California (Liberal) Euphemisms.
CALIFORNIA vs. TEXAS
Arsenal of Weapons - Gun Collection
Delicate Wetlands - Swamp
Undocumented Worker - Illegal Alien
Cruelty-Free Materials - Synthetic Fiber
Assault and Battery - Attitude Adjustment
Heavily Armed - Well-protected
Narrow-minded - Christian
Taxes or Your Fair Share - Coerced Theft
Commonsense Gun Control - Gun Confiscation Plot
Illegal Hazardous Explosives -July 4th Fireworks or Stump Removal
Nonviable Tissue Mass - Unborn Baby
Equal Access to Opportunity - Socialism
Multicultural Community - High Crime Area
Fairness or Social Progress - Marxism
Upper Class or "The Rich " - Self-Employed
Progressive Change - Big Government Scheme
Homeless or Disadvantaged - Bums or Welfare Leeches
Sniper Rifle - Deer Rifle with a scope
Investment For the Future - Higher Taxes
Healthcare Reform - Socialized Medicine
Extremist, Judgmental, or Hater - Conservative
Truants - Home schooled
Victim or Oppressed - Criminal or Lazy Good-For-Nothing
High Capacity Magazine - Standard Capacity Magazine
Religious Zealot - Church-goer
Reintroduced Wolves - Sheep and Calf Killers
Fair Trade Coffee - Overpriced Yuppie Coffee
Exploiters or "The Rich - Employed Home Owner
The Gun Lobby - NRA Members
Assault Weapon - Semi-Auto (Grandpa's M1 Carbine)
Fiscal Stimulus - New Taxes and Higher Taxes
Same Sex Marriage - State Legalized Perversion
Mandated Eco-Friendly Lighting -Chinese Made Mercury-Laden Light Bulbs
CALIFORNIA vs. TEXAS
Arsenal of Weapons - Gun Collection
Delicate Wetlands - Swamp
Undocumented Worker - Illegal Alien
Cruelty-Free Materials - Synthetic Fiber
Assault and Battery - Attitude Adjustment
Heavily Armed - Well-protected
Narrow-minded - Christian
Taxes or Your Fair Share - Coerced Theft
Commonsense Gun Control - Gun Confiscation Plot
Illegal Hazardous Explosives -July 4th Fireworks or Stump Removal
Nonviable Tissue Mass - Unborn Baby
Equal Access to Opportunity - Socialism
Multicultural Community - High Crime Area
Fairness or Social Progress - Marxism
Upper Class or "The Rich " - Self-Employed
Progressive Change - Big Government Scheme
Homeless or Disadvantaged - Bums or Welfare Leeches
Sniper Rifle - Deer Rifle with a scope
Investment For the Future - Higher Taxes
Healthcare Reform - Socialized Medicine
Extremist, Judgmental, or Hater - Conservative
Truants - Home schooled
Victim or Oppressed - Criminal or Lazy Good-For-Nothing
High Capacity Magazine - Standard Capacity Magazine
Religious Zealot - Church-goer
Reintroduced Wolves - Sheep and Calf Killers
Fair Trade Coffee - Overpriced Yuppie Coffee
Exploiters or "The Rich - Employed Home Owner
The Gun Lobby - NRA Members
Assault Weapon - Semi-Auto (Grandpa's M1 Carbine)
Fiscal Stimulus - New Taxes and Higher Taxes
Same Sex Marriage - State Legalized Perversion
Mandated Eco-Friendly Lighting -Chinese Made Mercury-Laden Light Bulbs
