Transplant from Oregon... You don't say????

[sirhrmechanic]

Game Wardens with Texas Parks and Wildlife arrested Ethan McNeely, a 39 year old Oregon transplant, yesterday after discovering him crouched in the woods below the dam at Lake Tawakoni attempting to hunt squirrels with nothing but his bare hands and teeth.

McNeely, who insists he’s “a primal predator, not a sportsman,” argued with officers that his “God-given claws and fangs” exempt him from needing a hunting license. “If I catch it with my molars, that’s between me and Mother Nature,” he reportedly told wardens while spitting out a mouthful of bark.

Authorities were not convinced. TPWD officials say that while McNeely’s hunting technique is unique, state law doesn’t make exceptions for “wannabe cavemen.” He was booked on charges of hunting without a license and disorderly conduct after growling at the officers.

McNeely maintains he’s being persecuted. “They can cage me,” he said, “but they’ll never cage my inner wolf!”

I think his 'inner wolf' is actually a Chihuahua with a severe crack problem. But I could be wrong!

Sirhr

PS. Please let this be satire. Because holy hell, my faith in humanity just can't get any lower. If this thing can be considered humanity...

 

[Beefmanne]

 

[babyguppy]

if he was crouched in the woods, not sure why he just didn't tell them.......
I was taking a dump
I was playing tag with squirrels
I was trying to find Peanut's cousin to deliver the obituary.

 

[Ronws]

 

[Flyingbullseye]

 

[sirhrmechanic]

View attachment 8782971

I think you pretty much nailed that one!

Sirhr

 

[918v]

Oregon Man vs Florida Man would make an interesting cage match.

 

[Jack's Dad]

He's in the right, fucktard or no.

 

[MO Fugga]

Oregon Man vs Florida Man would make an interesting cage match.

I'd watch that.

 

[Ronws]

My friend, John (RIP), would hunt squirrels on his dad's property in Kingston and sometimes his aunt's property on Lake Murray (Oklahoma.) So, he would sometimes have canned squirrel. But mostly at his aunt's property, he hunted whitetail old does with his black powder muzzleloader. Usually within archery range. He was a sneaky bastard. He would smelt his own lead balls for ammo. A .50 cal ball makes a hole that does not stop bleeding.

Anyway, his hunting was on private land but he did have a lifetime hunting license in Oklahoma.