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Why am I house-sitting?

What do?


  • Total voters
    15
  • Poll closed .
I'm assuming y'all have never seen a really big sow bear eat all the rotted and fermented apples on the ground in an orchard.
1 - They get severely drunk and pass out.
2 - It gives them the shits.

You have never experienced the true wilds until you stumble upon 8-10 piles of runny bear shit easily the size of a large trash can lid.
Just say no to the emerald triangle in NorCal.
 
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This thread made me laugh more in the last few minutes of reading it than I have in the last 4 weeks!
I wish I could contribute some good advice.
Only thing I can say is, don't let the cat eat cockroaches. Someone else mentioned mentioned projectile diarrhea, didn't they?
Awesome.

But you need to get out more!

Sirhr
 
Used to use a airsoft pistol on our cat for getting on the counter. Better range than a squirt bottle. And a lot more entertaining.
 
yea I'll pass on giving a cat milk again not unless it's going to stay outside all night , as most cats are pretty lactose intolerant . A cat with uncontrollable farting sitting on your lap or worse yet chest ...

Some people pay extra for that... :D

I'm trying everything, latest are small critters on YouTube videos



Thought cats were s'posed to be curious
 
I'm assuming y'all have never seen a really big sow bear eat all the rotted and fermented apples on the ground in an orchard.
1 - They get severely drunk and pass out.
2 - It gives them the shits.

You have never experienced the true wilds until you stumble upon 8-10 piles of runny bear shit easily the size of a large trash can lid.
Just say no to the emerald triangle in NorCal.
Went deer hunting and picked a rock ledge to sit on. Before sunup something I was sitting on started to thaw. After a while my ass was getting wet by whatever it was. Started to get a little light and noticed a blown over tree below me that was covered in foxgrapes. Got good light and realized I was sitting in bear foxgrape diarrhea.
 
Awesome.

But you need to get out more!

Sirhr
Yes, I do need to get out more. I have some .308 reloads, I have some .308 176 gr, rebated boat tails swaged up that need to be loaded into cases, I still have new gun fever with a Sig 716I, and I want to shoot when the weather is cold, because I haven't done that before. So I need to go to the range. Might do that in the next few days since the grand kids have off from school with the Thanksgiving holidays are here.

But if you mean I need to get out and socialize with other people more, as a Vietnam Vet, I don't socialize much with other people.
 
Day 8.

Did I mention the cat verbalizes like the adults in Peanuts? It doesn't meow or purr, it makes these follicle-raising, gluteal-clenching, nightmarish, yet cartoonish otherworldly noises.



So I have this front toothless rehomed hairball-launching alien with Tooele Depot-worthy toxic breath, claws that would shame a Harpy Eagle*, headbutting me, nuking the kitten's dumper, eating the kitten's food, overturning food and water dishes, depositing clothes in its own litterbox, following me around making Charlie Brown adult noises.

I have gone from urbane, suave and debonair 🧐 to twitching, muttering, grin-bin ready 🤪 in slightly over one week.

This experiment in munificence has now eclipsed the CIA's most disturbing experiments in annihilating the Id, Ego and Superego.

If we are ever to face kinetic disagreement with the Chicoms, I submit that our best hope for victory lies not in splitting the atom in anger, but rather in airdropping billions of cats into their homeland. Not ordinary cats, mind you. Cats bred specifically with what can only be the intelligence-community concocted Area 51 Dark Ops, possibly alien-hybrid cat that has been my charge for these 8 long days In November.

A fleet of these Charlie-Brown adult vocalizing feline paratroopers descending on the unsuspecting Chicoms, unleashing the blood-curdling, mind-bending Wuh-wa-wah-wah battle cries, as they unleash fusillades of toxic hair projectiles, will send the PRC lunging for the white flag of surrender.

I will be in the rubber room, .








*https://www.indiatimes.com/news/wor...atch-the-size-of-a-grizzly-bear-s-325133.html
 
If the nightmare cat has ever been shot with an airsoft gun, just get a bottle of the plastic airsoft BBs and shake it. The cat will run for the hills at the sound of that!
 
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The unintended consequence of this is; now you’re feeding them.

1ye7uk.jpg
 
Day 8.

Did I mention the cat verbalizes like the adults in Peanuts? It doesn't meow or purr, it makes these follicle-raising, gluteal-clenching, nightmarish, yet cartoonish otherworldly noises.



So I have this front toothless rehomed hairball-launching alien with Tooele Depot-worthy toxic breath, claws that would shame a Harpy Eagle*, headbutting me, nuking the kitten's dumper, eating the kitten's food, overturning food and water dishes, depositing clothes in its own litterbox, following me around making Charlie Brown adult noises.

I have gone from urbane, suave and debonair 🧐 to twitching, muttering, grin-bin ready 🤪 in slightly over one week.

This experiment in munificence has now eclipsed the CIA's most disturbing experiments in annihilating the Id, Ego and Superego.

If we are ever to face kinetic disagreement with the Chicoms, I submit that our best hope for victory lies not in splitting the atom in anger, but rather in airdropping billions of cats into their homeland. Not ordinary cats, mind you. Cats bred specifically with what can only be the intelligence-community concocted Area 51 Dark Ops, possibly alien-hybrid cat that has been my charge for these 8 long days In November.

A fleet of these Charlie-Brown adult vocalizing feline paratroopers descending on the unsuspecting Chicoms, unleashing the blood-curdling, mind-bending Wuh-wa-wah-wah battle cries, as they unleash fusillades of toxic hair projectiles, will send the PRC lunging for the white flag of surrender.

I will be in the rubber room, .








*https://www.indiatimes.com/news/wor...atch-the-size-of-a-grizzly-bear-s-325133.html

You know amusing cat videos can actually make you money. Unlike amusing cat posts on snipershide. Just sayin.