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Why I can't wait to move to Alabama

armorpl8chikn

Colonel Angus
Full Member
Minuteman
Aug 17, 2010
10,595
30,437
55
Face Slapping Distance
Gee whiz. I know this is social media. I know this is the Bear Pit, where things can get rough. This will be a lot like pulling my pants down.
Be as rough as you like.

So I got a notice from the courthouse a few weeks ago. My lawyer got it as well. I knew he was working on it. Seemed to be a rather threatening letter. I read it as, "You are in big trouble Jack!"

Called my lawyer today. Told him to boil it down into layman's terms.
Well basically, what he listed as real estate, the county says is personal property. That is subject to $4 on the thousand....heck I don't know what to call it, let's call it the "king's tribute".
I said hold on a minute...."they want money, that's all they want?" I was laughing about it, it's not funny, but hey, they are threatening to make me a criminal.
Sure I have an attorney, but he is also a friend, and he has told me at every offer he won't take my money in this matter. These matters aren't his specialty, but he knows enough to do this little job.
And here follweth the rant.

On December 14, 2014 I had fallen asleep on the couch in the wee hours. A normal occurance on a Saturday night, as I needed to sleep all day Sunday, to be at work Sunday night.
I'll be brief for a bit, as I don't like to relive this in much detail.
I woke up on the couch at about sunrise, and headed to bed. Went in the bedroom and found my wife rolled out of bed, unresponsive, not breathing, no pulse.
Called 911, started CPR, begged them to hurry. This wasn't how we had planned our lives. I was supposed to go first. EMTs arrived, they eventually took her to the hospital.
They eventually got a pulse and put her on life support. She had no brain function, all her organs were shutting down. Made decision to take her off life support 12/15/14. We had been married 18.5 years, to the day.
I made sure they were going to do an autopsy, we have a daughter so I needed to know why my 40 year old young wife just died like snapping your fingers.
They told me it would take about 3 months. Ok with me, I needed to concentrate on pulling myself and my daughter's together.

I spent about 4 months trying to deal with "her estate" and finally handed it off to my lawyer cause I was in no condition to handle the red tape. Simple fact is, there was no estate. She had a little life insurance, small retirement, of which I was beneficiary, naturally. The rest was various assets owned by the finance companies totalling ~76k. The rub was a family corporation, she was part of, that we never had a LWAT on. It was a huge oversight on both our parts. It provided a monthly check of around $400, but as it couldn't be settled without a death certificate with a COD (autopsy) it was of no help to me.

Long story short. My credit was decimated. To my credit, I managed by some miracle to make the payments for about 8 months, waiting on an autopsy.
The entire months of August and September were spent on the phone with the medical examiners office trying to figure out why they hadn't finished the paperwork. It all boiled down to a clerical error. Cardiac arithmia is what they called it, her grandaddy had it too. Except if you have it in your 40s instead of your 70s, it'll likely kill you. Mostly, I guess subconciously, I thought finding the cause would somehow fix my pain. It didn't.

After nearly 10 months, I had a death certificate I could use to collect the money I needed to pay down the bills. 10 months of slowly ruined credit, sleepless days and nights, god awful nightmares,working up the nerve to pull a trigger and finding two good reasons not to(my daughters). It all nearly drove me crazy.
I'll not recount all the things I went through, but I came out the backside of it all a very changed man.
Of all the epiphanies, here is one I came away with; money is a tool, nothing more. I'd still give all I have, for more time.

I thought all this stuff was settled. I guess the county found a way to extract something from me, good for them. That's why I laughed. "Money? That's what they want? Their due? Their tribute? Is that all?"

I just want to get on with the life I have left. Not the one I chose, but the one I have, to do the best I can.
I figured out pretty quick I had to walk away from what was, and live for what IS. That's the only reason I'm pissed about it, this makes me relive my darkest days.
I can't write them a check soon enough to suit me. And yes I'm gonna make a point to ask them, "Are we done here?"
 
I am so sorry for your loss brother. My best prayers are going out to you NOW!!

I am dumb founded that 4 1/2 years after you still dealing with the "paper work" side of this tragedy. I hope some where in there you have had time to grieve.
 
Gee whiz. I know this is social media. I know this is the Bear Pit, where things can get rough. This will be a lot like pulling my pants down.
Be as rough as you like.

So I got a notice from the courthouse a few weeks ago. My lawyer got it as well. I knew he was working on it. Seemed to be a rather threatening letter. I read it as, "You are in big trouble Jack!"

Called my lawyer today. Told him to boil it down into layman's terms.
Well basically, what he listed as real estate, the county says is personal property. That is subject to $4 on the thousand....heck I don't know what to call it, let's call it the "king's tribute".
I said hold on a minute...."they want money, that's all they want?" I was laughing about it, it's not funny, but hey, they are threatening to make me a criminal.
Sure I have an attorney, but he is also a friend, and he has told me at every offer he won't take my money in this matter. These matters aren't his specialty, but he knows enough to do this little job.
And here follweth the rant.

On December 14, 2014 I had fallen asleep on the couch in the wee hours. A normal occurance on a Saturday night, as I needed to sleep all day Sunday, to be at work Sunday night.
I'll be brief for a bit, as I don't like to relive this in much detail.
I woke up on the couch at about sunrise, and headed to bed. Went in the bedroom and found my wife rolled out of bed, unresponsive, not breathing, no pulse.
Called 911, started CPR, begged them to hurry. This wasn't how we had planned our lives. I was supposed to go first. EMTs arrived, they eventually took her to the hospital.
They eventually got a pulse and put her on life support. She had no brain function, all her organs were shutting down. Made decision to take her off life support 12/15/14. We had been married 18.5 years, to the day.
I made sure they were going to do an autopsy, we have a daughter so I needed to know why my 40 year old young wife just died like snapping your fingers.
They told me it would take about 3 months. Ok with me, I needed to concentrate on pulling myself and my daughter's together.

I spent about 4 months trying to deal with "her estate" and finally handed it off to my lawyer cause I was in no condition to handle the red tape. Simple fact is, there was no estate. She had a little life insurance, small retirement, of which I was beneficiary, naturally. The rest was various assets owned by the finance companies totalling ~76k. The rub was a family corporation, she was part of, that we never had a LWAT on. It was a huge oversight on both our parts. It provided a monthly check of around $400, but as it couldn't be settled without a death certificate with a COD (autopsy) it was of no help to me.

Long story short. My credit was decimated. To my credit, I managed by some miracle to make the payments for about 8 months, waiting on an autopsy.
The entire months of August and September were spent on the phone with the medical examiners office trying to figure out why they hadn't finished the paperwork. It all boiled down to a clerical error. Cardiac arithmia is what they called it, her grandaddy had it too. Except if you have it in your 40s instead of your 70s, it'll likely kill you. Mostly, I guess subconciously, I thought finding the cause would somehow fix my pain. It didn't.

After nearly 10 months, I had a death certificate I could use to collect the money I needed to pay down the bills. 10 months of slowly ruined credit, sleepless days and nights, god awful nightmares,working up the nerve to pull a trigger and finding two good reasons not to(my daughters). It all nearly drove me crazy.
I'll not recount all the things I went through, but I came out the backside of it all a very changed man.
Of all the epiphanies, here is one I came away with; money is a tool, nothing more. I'd still give all I have, for more time.

I thought all this stuff was settled. I guess the county found a way to extract something from me, good for them. That's why I laughed. "Money? That's what they want? Their due? Their tribute? Is that all?"

I just want to get on with the life I have left. Not the one I chose, but the one I have, to do the best I can.
I figured out pretty quick I had to walk away from what was, and live for what IS. That's the only reason I'm pissed about it, this makes me relive my darkest days.
I can't write them a check soon enough to suit me. And yes I'm gonna make a point to ask them, "Are we done here?"

Chikn.....Had no idea you had gone through such a terrible loss. My heartfelt condolences to you, your daughters and extended families.

You are right. My wife and I went through a 5 year estate battle when my Mom died. Money does odd things to people, very little of which is good.

Please take care !
 
and people wonder why people snap. you ask me, it is amazing that more people dont snap, after the way folks are pushed.

sorry this all happened to you. but i’ll tell you something, i’m happy for you in a way. that you had a good woman, who loved you to the end, that makes me happy for you. that is so rare these days. and to read your comment about willingness to trade it all for more time, you get it. yes, i am very happy for you.

if i may offer some advice so you might learn from another’s mistake....focus on those kids, and enjoy every damn second you can with them. because if you dont, you’ll squander (unintentionally, but nonetheless) their childhood and miss it. easy to say, not so easy to do while you are still trying to get your feet back under you.

when i lost everything that was important to me, i robbed myself of enjoying my children. biggest mistake i’ve ever made. i hope you can manage things better than i did. i wish you and your kids the very best.

as far as the inhumane bastards....have no fear. they chase dollars around and that is the focus of their lives, they have no compassion and their focus will be their undoing. i’ve never seen people who chase the dollar content at the end of their life. not once, and some of them were very “rich”. in fact, in their final days, when they know there is no escaping their fate....they usually sit and sob until the end.

focus on your babies. soak it in. God bless you and them.
 
I'm still blessed fellas, no worries.
I married a widow from England. It's a lucky man that can say he has married two good women in a lifetime.

She has helped me finish my youngest daughter, who is 19. The girls were good with me remarrying as well.

She and I have been good for each other. We have an understanding of each other's situation. She completely undeestands my occasional "funks" I fall into, and I hers.

Mine and her situations are much different than other's in our shoes. Many have suffered far greater than us. She helped me to see that. Both our spouses went very quick. That in itself is a great gift, many fail to see.

We cherish every minute together, another gift of the road we have traveled.

She still hasn't caught on to why I hardly ever sleep at night. "You still up? Go to bed hon." I can't help checking on her through the night.
 
Damn Chikn, I agree that the chasing for the pound of flesh by the kings men is such a ridiculous and unnecessary reminder for you.

I am glad that you’ve been fortunate enough to find someone that understands and cares though. That’s always a big part of moving on.
 
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I’m sorry Chicken. I had no idea. That damn NC dust reaches the nether regions of CO sometimes. I’m glad you’re ok after all that. You’re a good egg. (Get it? Eggs are like baby chickens!)
 
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Sorry for your loss and the difficulties that followed. Life can really suck it hard sometimes and while "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger" might be true we get the shit kicked out of us in the process. It's great that life has turned better for you.

The government, on every level, sucks the life out of people that can afford it while rewarding the people that do not contribute.
 
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Sorry for them stirring up your loss Chikn

Kick dem stones out of the path one at a time and don't fret on the cost. We don't carry that stuff with us forever anyhow. In the interim we get just what we need if we do our part. Gettin out and breathing in nature helps to unpack the weight of mans world too.


 
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Sometimes I think about writing a book. Then I say to myself, "Who in hell wants to read a book about averages Joe's life? "Trials and Tribulations of a Tarheel Redneck Peckerwood"
"Life and Times of a Turd Wrangler"
"Who Needs a Psychiatrist When You Have Likker Store"

But seriously, I've often thought writing it all down may be cathartic. Get over it no, but might make me a lot less sensitive about opening that dark file in my head.