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Maggie’s Why Parents Drink

bowtie4x4295

Sergeant
Full Member
Minuteman
Feb 19, 2007
766
0
53
Prattville, ALABAMA
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an
Envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope
with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it' s not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy.

She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children..

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.
We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so
Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can
get to know your grandchildren.

Love, Your Son Shaggyback

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PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.

I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a Report card That's in my center desk drawer.

I love you.

Call me when it's safe to come home.


 
Re: Why Parents Drink

Little Bastard.

I remember reading a bumper sticker that said, "Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children." I never understood it until I had kids.
 
Re: Why Parents Drink

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: bowtie4x4295</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Love, Your Son Shaggyback
</div></div>

LMAO. Asshole.

Stay safe tonight bro. I know you Troopers are gonna be out, doing the usual - arresting DWIs and writing tickets to your own mothers.
laugh.gif
 
Re: Why Parents Drink

Best I heard was;
God gives us kids so that death won't come as such a disappointment....
 
Re: Why Parents Drink

Would a paracord license plate frame reduce my chances of being ticketed on I-65? haha
 
Re: Why Parents Drink

red and white?

you mean Crimson and White! I went to school there, dont get out colors wrong please
smile.gif
 
Re: Why Parents Drink

I'm not, I only have red and white cord. I have been here my entire life, and have been a Bama fan since I can remember.

Mike