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Maggie’s Why People Hate To Attend High School Reunions

vwhugger

The Kindly Curmudgeon
Full Member
Minuteman
Jan 17, 2003
334
96
80
NW WI
Why People Hate To Attend High School Reunions

Jan, Sue and Mary haven't seen each other since High School. They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar.

Jan arrives first, wearing a beige Versace. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio.

Sue arrives shortly afterward, in gray Chanel. After the required ritualized kisses she joins Jan in a glass of wine.

Then Mary walks in, wearing a faded old tee-shirt, blue jeans and boots. She too shares the wine.

Jan explains that after leaving high school and graduating from Princeton in Classics, she met and married Timothy, with whom she has a beautiful daughter. Timothy is a partner in one of New York 's leading law firms. They live in a 4000 sq. ft. co-op on Fifth Avenue , where Susanna, the daughter, attends drama school. They have a second home in Phoenix.

Sue relates that she graduated from Harvard Med School and became a surgeon. Her husband, Clive, is a leading Wall Street investment banker. They live in Southampton on Long Island and have a second home in Naples , Florida.

Mary explains that she left school at 17 and ran off with her boyfriend, Jim. They run a tropical bird park in Colorado and grow their own vegetables. Jim can stand five parrots, side by side, on his penis.

Halfway down the third bottle of wine and several hours later, Jan blurts out that her husband is really a cashier at Wal-Mart. They live in a small apartment in Brooklyn and have a travel trailer parked at a nearby storage facility.

Sue, chastened and encouraged by her old friend's honesty, explains that she and Clive are both nurses' aides in a retirement home. They live in Jersey City and take vacation camping trips to Alabama.

Mary admits that the fifth parrot has to stand on one leg.
 
Re: Why People Hate To Attend High School Reunions

damn, i couldnt fit one marshmellow PEEP on mine
 
Re: Why People Hate To Attend High School Reunions

Fitting the parrots on isn't the hard part, I would imagine it's holding them up once they are on.
 
Re: Why People Hate To Attend High School Reunions

THIS was funny. THANK YOU vdubhugger
 
Re: Why People Hate To Attend High School Reunions

Only went to one--the 20th. Everybody was dressed like stockbrokers, except me and the guy next door that used to beat the crap out of me once a week. I wore jeans, and a deerskin vest from my first deer. He lived in a commune in Eugene OR, couldn't complete a sentence--too many acid trips. But he had some killer weed! What a waste of time, nobody from my old rifle team (1950s High School!) showed up.
 
Re: Why People Hate To Attend High School Reunions

Cause its all the same questions from everybody u married?,what u do?,how many kids? bla bla bla.
 
Re: Why People Hate To Attend High School Reunions

Because I left that world long ago and have nothing in common with those people. As if High School is anymore important than other times in my life is just silly...
smirk.gif
good joke though - I laughed.
 
Re: Why People Hate To Attend High School Reunions

I am never going to one. I hated most of the kids I went to school with, and probably still wouldnt have any use for them now. Fuck em, good joke though.
 
Re: Why People Hate To Attend High School Reunions

I went to one or two of 'em and figured that anyone who was important to me I already stayed in touch with. Most of the people there are just there trying to impress everyone. Once I figured out what the agenda was (trying to impress people) I never went to another one. Just not my thing.
 
Re: Why People Hate To Attend High School Reunions

I was homeschooled, so every Christmas is a class reunion :)
 
Re: Why People Hate To Attend High School Reunions

My 10th reunion was pretty good. We had it a my farm. That right there kept the ones nobody really cared to see away. I just so happen to have a 1000 yard range on my farm and happend to have some of my rifles in my pickup. So most of us guys and quite a few of the lady's husbands went shooting while the women chatted. When we were done shooting we went back to my barn with the office in it and had BBQ. Granted there were only 22 total people in my class and about only half showed up.
 
Re: Why People Hate To Attend High School Reunions

The reason people do not go to their HS reunions:
1) they were nerds and still hold grudges
2) they are not where they thought they would be today, so they are ashamed to go.

I went to my 20 year and it was awesome. Lost contact with all of them for 22 years (I left my hometown HS earlier to move to another town)

It was great seeing kids that I have known since kindergarten. We were all pretty upfront with each other on our current situation, and now we keep in touch via FB. There were no Doctors and only 1 Lawyer in my graduating class, but it was still a great class! The hot girls are still hot, and the ugly ones turned hot. Win win in my book.

I went to a HS where bullying was a normal thing. However, all was forgiven and we now we all laugh about it. Forgiveness and getting over stuff are things your typical gun forum member can't do, People here stay mad for something you did a year ago. Ask me how I know this. ahahahhahah
 
Re: Why People Hate To Attend High School Reunions

I went to too many schools to attend any one reunion, Sometimes moved twice in a single school year. Dad was Air Force. So it don't mean nothing to me. However I did go with my wife to her 20th. A small country town. She was nervous about it so we had a long talk. Turns out she wasn't one of the popular girls, and no one dated her throughout high school. OK, so when I met her she was gorgeous (long legs, great figure, elegant dresser,and a shooter, and hunter, to boot) . I reassured her that she was going to do alright, and just watch who turns up.
OK, so the girls who soch'ed it up in hi school were all on their second or third husbands, or single with dead-beat dads. Big asses, saggy boobs, and not a one worth hiding in the cloak room with. Bunch of alcoholics, too.
And the guys. Oh my Gawd. My wife had the hottest husband there. Seriously. At the time, I was fit, fairly built, full head of hair (still do, only it is white now), and only one with a real career. These losers where all either out of work or in dead end jobs, or in the woods. Fat, balding, losers. The only guy who did one thing for ten years in a row was in prison for that time.
My wife hit the door in an expensive dress, great makeup, and hair do, and never said an unkind word to anyone. She walked out of there at the end of the evening realizing she had done far better than any of them.
They realized it too. .
I recommend it.
 
Re: Why People Hate To Attend High School Reunions

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: hankpac</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I went to too many schools to attend any one reunion, Sometimes moved twice in a single school year. Dad was Air Force. So it don't mean nothing to me. However I did go with my wife to her 20th. A small country town. She was nervous about it so we had a long talk. Turns out she wasn't one of the popular girls, and no one dated her throughout high school. OK, so when I met her she was gorgeous (long legs, great figure, elegant dresser,and a shooter, and hunter, to boot) . I reassured her that she was going to do alright, and just watch who turns up.
OK, so the girls who soch'ed it up in hi school were all on their second or third husbands, or single with dead-beat dads. Big asses, saggy boobs, and not a one worth hiding in the cloak room with. Bunch of alcoholics, too.
And the guys. Oh my Gawd. My wife had the hottest husband there. Seriously. At the time, I was fit, fairly built, full head of hair (still do, only it is white now), and only one with a real career. These losers where all either out of work or in dead end jobs, or in the woods. Fat, balding, losers. The only guy who did one thing for ten years in a row was in prison for that time.
My wife hit the door in an expensive dress, great makeup, and hair do, and never said an unkind word to anyone. She walked out of there at the end of the evening realizing she had done far better than any of them.
They realized it too. .
I recommend it. </div></div>

so because you guys turned out better then the rest is why you had a good time?
 
Re: Why People Hate To Attend High School Reunions

Ya mine was 25 yr. get together and one of the pot heads comes up and whispers "hey you hear Maxx is a cop now" I replied to him hey you dont have to whisper I know Im a cop. He just looked at me and said "OH dude" and walked away. Several of the people there I keep in contacted just laughed.
 
Re: Why People Hate To Attend High School Reunions

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: EricCartmann</div><div class="ubbcode-body">The reason people do not go to their HS reunions:
1) they were nerds and still hold grudges
2) they are not where they thought they would be today, so they are ashamed to go.

I went to my 20 year and it was awesome. Lost contact with all of them for 22 years (I left my hometown HS earlier to move to another town)

It was great seeing kids that I have known since kindergarten. We were all pretty upfront with each other on our current situation, and now we keep in touch via FB. There were no Doctors and only 1 Lawyer in my graduating class, but it was still a great class! The hot girls are still hot, and the ugly ones turned hot. Win win in my book.

I went to a HS where bullying was a normal thing. However, all was forgiven and we now we all laugh about it. Forgiveness and getting over stuff are things your typical gun forum member can't do, People here stay mad for something you did a year ago. Ask me how I know this. ahahahhahah </div></div>

Ah, so eric, you full shit

I've never been to my reunion, because I just never had any use for the arrogant ass hats that were in my class. I have no grudge against any of them.

They were mostly farm kids with delusions of greatness that they could never fulfill.
I'm smarter, more successful, and still alive, which is more than I can say about half the class.
I just missed the 50th reunion, but I might go to the 55th.
 
Re: Why People Hate To Attend High School Reunions

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kinsman</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: EricCartmann</div><div class="ubbcode-body">The reason people do not go to their HS reunions:
1) they were nerds and still hold grudges
2) they are not where they thought they would be today, so they are ashamed to go.

I went to my 20 year and it was awesome. Lost contact with all of them for 22 years (I left my hometown HS earlier to move to another town)

It was great seeing kids that I have known since kindergarten. We were all pretty upfront with each other on our current situation, and now we keep in touch via FB. There were no Doctors and only 1 Lawyer in my graduating class, but it was still a great class! The hot girls are still hot, and the ugly ones turned hot. Win win in my book.

I went to a HS where bullying was a normal thing. However, all was forgiven and we now we all laugh about it. Forgiveness and getting over stuff are things your typical gun forum member can't do, People here stay mad for something you did a year ago. Ask me how I know this. ahahahhahah </div></div>

Ah, so eric, you full shit

I've never been to my reunion, because I just never had any use for the arrogant ass hats that were in my class. I have no grudge against any of them.


They were mostly farm kids with delusions of greatness that they could never fulfill.
I'm smarter, more successful, and still alive, which is more than I can say about half the class.

I just missed the 50th reunion, but I might go to the 55th.
</div></div>

"arrogant ass hats"...."They were mostly farm kids with delusions of greatness that they could never fulfill.
I'm smarter, more successful, and still alive, which is more than I can say about half the class."

after 50yrs... nah, doesn't sound like you hold a grudge.....lmao
 
Re: Why People Hate To Attend High School Reunions

I missed my 10th year reunion because of a deployment but I intend to make it to my 20th in a couple of years. There are a bunch of people I'd like to see again that I haven't spoken to in 18 years.
 
Re: Why People Hate To Attend High School Reunions

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Force_Multiplier</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kinsman</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: EricCartmann</div><div class="ubbcode-body">The reason people do not go to their HS reunions:
1) they were nerds and still hold grudges
2) they are not where they thought they would be today, so they are ashamed to go.

I went to my 20 year and it was awesome. Lost contact with all of them for 22 years (I left my hometown HS earlier to move to another town)

It was great seeing kids that I have known since kindergarten. We were all pretty upfront with each other on our current situation, and now we keep in touch via FB. There were no Doctors and only 1 Lawyer in my graduating class, but it was still a great class! The hot girls are still hot, and the ugly ones turned hot. Win win in my book.

I went to a HS where bullying was a normal thing. However, all was forgiven and we now we all laugh about it. Forgiveness and getting over stuff are things your typical gun forum member can't do, People here stay mad for something you did a year ago. Ask me how I know this. ahahahhahah </div></div>

Ah, so eric, you full shit

I've never been to my reunion, because I just never had any use for the arrogant ass hats that were in my class. I have no grudge against any of them.


They were mostly farm kids with delusions of greatness that they could never fulfill.
I'm smarter, more successful, and still alive, which is more than I can say about half the class.

I just missed the 50th reunion, but I might go to the 55th.
</div></div>

"arrogant ass hats"...."They were mostly farm kids with delusions of greatness that they could never fulfill.
I'm smarter, more successful, and still alive, which is more than I can say about half the class."

after 50yrs... nah, doesn't sound like you hold a grudge.....lmao
</div></div>


yeah I think it's time you learn to let it go? LOL
 
Re: Why People Hate To Attend High School Reunions

I graduated in 2008 and I don't ever plan on going to any of mine. Highschool was just a boring time in my life where I had to deal with inane rules, worthless adults who used their position of "power" to try and make you miserable, and a bunch of kids who bought into the whole breakfast club/saved by the bell ideal and decided highschool was the most important thing ever. All just to take a graduation test(GA graduation test) that I could have aced in 5th grade(No shit, the majority of the questions were of the caliber: "how many Gs are in Georgia?" or "What shape is a basketball? a)square b)circle c) triangle d)sphere" and my favorite "there are 6 marbles in a bag, 3 are red, the rest are green, what are your chances of pulling out a blue marble?"). These were actual questions I memorized from sheer shock at the stupidity.

I don't need some event to keep in touch with the teachers and friends I liked, and I honestly just don't give a shit about seeing how crappy everyone's lives turned out to be compared to mine. Call it apathy or whatever you want, but nothing happened that mattered at all.

Now college on the other hand is awesome, it's what all those stupid shows about HS should be about instead.

(Any spelling or grammatical mistakes are not my fault, 2004 was the year I entered HS and it was also the year that No Child Left Behind was implemented, blame it as it destroyed an already wallowing education system)
 
Re: Why People Hate To Attend High School Reunions

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Goatphius</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Fitting the parrots on isn't the hard part, I would imagine it's holding them up once they are on. </div></div>Viagra. For those days five parrots perch on your penis.