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Sidearms & Scatterguns wife self defense weapon...

mhptrooper

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Full Member
Minuteman
Oct 6, 2010
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My wife had a scary situation this past weekend while I was at drill-It's quite a helpless feeling talking your wife out to her car while you're out on a tank range miles and miles away. I got a good deal on a glock 23 years ago and gave it to her, but it's not really a good fit (she's a very petit girl & it's a little much.) She also doesn't like guns at ALL-so I need something that wouldn't scare her off. I'm looking for options out there in the small frame self defense pitol world (I wish I could stay with glock)...I showed her a youtube video of the S&W bodyguard; but then found reliabitly issues associated with the laser screw (we BOTH need it to have glock-like reliability). can y'all give me a list where I can go and study our options in the .380-9mm caliber range? Thanks!
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

.380
Sig p238 is really the only way to go. It has a nice trigger and actual sights.
My wife doesnt like the heavy trigger associated with just about every other .380 on the market. i.e. lcp that sits in a drawer and she wont touch.

For 9mm with a single stack magazine
M&P Shield
Walther PPS
Spingfield - i think its the xdm

9mm compacts
There are too many to name.

Buy reputable.
Buy what is comortable for her to shot and get something she will carry.

My wife carries the sig p238 most of the time. She also has a Walther PPS and Glock 19 that enjoys shooting. They are more purse guns for her.
I personally carry either a Walther PPS, M&P Shield or M&P compact.
IMO these are all good small pistols and I have never had a reliability issue with any of them.
It may help to get her comfortable shooting before you pick the gun. My buddy just went through the same thing with his wife.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

Correction: The single stack springfield is the xds.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

M&P Shield in 9mm

My petite better half (5' 95 lbs) and I are big fans, I personally carry the double stack M&P Compact in .40S&W.

Picked it over both Bodyguard models, Ruger LCR, LCP, LC9, Sig P938, various Glocks, an old Colt 380, various 3-4" 1911s, and a few other things of mine I'm sure she got to shoot once or twice.

Skip the XDs, only available in .45ACP, she'd hate shooting it.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

Thanks...I'm thinking the single stack will be the way to go, due to her having small hands. I'll look into those pistols mentioned-I wish glock made a smaller frame pistol! Any thoughts on the kimber solo? Also-do they still make a Walther PPK?
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

Kimber is a lot bigger. Doubt it would work if she wants to conceal. It doesnt work on my wife.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

Her purse is massive, it can easily carry the G23...so anything that size or smaller will be fine. I checked the Sig Sauer, I don't think it would be for her, due to her having to carry it cocked and locked...PLEASE don't let that comment alter the course of this post! Thanks.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

I'm going to state something that is obvious but needs stated.IF your wife does not have good gun handling skills PLEASE get her a small revolver.

This is meant respectfully but I have seen too many guys get their wives guns they had no buisness being behind as they did not know how to competently use the handgun.

If you go with a ruger LCR or something along the S&W lady smith line I believe she will be much better served as all she has to do if the gun doesn't go off is just keep pulling that trigger
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

i carry a sig P938. i ditched the 45acp XD-s for it. decent trigger, nice and small too.

a buddy of mine has the 380 body guard for his ol' lady. i think it is junk. trigger pull is way too long and heavy.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: mhptrooper</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Her purse is massive, it can easily carry the G23...so anything that size or smaller will be fine. I checked the Sig Sauer, I don't think it would be for her, due to her having to carry it cocked and locked...PLEASE don't let that comment alter the course of this post! Thanks. </div></div>

correct me if i am wrong, but aren't glocks the same way, just without a hammer? the only safety is a trigger safety?
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

You are right-that is one of the safeties, among others. I just don't want her to fumble around with a safety when seconds count; which just knocked out the kimber. She has looked at revolvers, and didn't like them. Perhaps this expeirence will get her to take a second (and more serious) look at them...
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

What about having a grip reduction done on a G19?

Hard to beat a G19 as an all purpose pistol. If the grip is just a bit big, that can easily be solved.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

which ever platform you decide to go with, train, train, train. run her thru drills, make sure she knows what to do with FTF, FTE, etc.

before she carries, she should be comfortable with ANY firearm she is presented with. ie, checking the weapon and making sure it has a clear chamber, no mag, action open, etc.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

Grip reduction? I'm not familiar with that process...
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

I had a similar situation with my wife.

I bought her a M&P 9mm compact.

I should have bought her a revolver.

She had lots of trouble limp wristing and jamming it up. Lots.

I thought it was a problem with the gun. I ran a crap load of ammo through it and never had a failure in my hands.

Lets be real. She will be intimidated. She's not going to want to train as much as she should.

This needs to be as simple as possible. No safeties. No lasers. No dodads.

Bottom line: a gun that goes bang every time you pull the trigger no matter what.

Revolver!

Do you really think she's going to be able to recover from a first round stovepipe?
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

Like I mentioned, she doesn't like the revolvers-but we will give them a shot when we go and look. I've just got done looking at Kahr's-any comments on the P9, PM9, CW9, or P380?
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

if she already doesn't like guns, the kahr models and other light weight guns may not help. I carry a pm9 and its a great gun, but a handful for most people. Get her something that has a little weight to it to help the felt recoil.
Like above mentioned, look at the p238. Very nice gun, and weighted nicely.
If u like glocks, why not the g26? double stack adds some weight.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: corey4</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: mhptrooper</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Her purse is massive, it can easily carry the G23...so anything that size or smaller will be fine. I checked the Sig Sauer, I don't think it would be for her, due to her having to carry it cocked and locked...PLEASE don't let that comment alter the course of this post! Thanks. </div></div>

correct me if i am wrong, but aren't glocks the same way, just without a hammer? the only safety is a trigger safety? </div></div>

Glocks have three safeties, one of which is the trigger safety. You are wrong.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

I let her try my G27, and she can't hardly handle the wide grip-which is why I'm thinking a single stack would help. If I'm understandng you-the Kahr's a bit much on the recoil...Dang...and I was kinda liking them...We'll still check em out though and see what she likes-I would really like the g26!
 
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And YES-the glocks have multiple safeties, which is what I like about them and why I trust one with my life daily. Thanks for the backup on that!
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

i never thought the recoil was bad on the pm9, but everyone else that has shot it did. They all said they wouldnt shoot it again. Couple people couldn't keep from limp wristing, so it didn't cycle correctly. I also have the 38 special bodygaurd, and it is actually worse. Price you pay for light weight.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: mhptrooper</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Grip reduction? I'm not familiar with that process... </div></div>

Basically, the grip is sectioned into the magazine well, and a hollow "back area".

The "back area" is filled with epoxy, and then the whole rear of the grip is ground down to make the grip smaller than it was to begin with.

Google "glock grip reduction". Dozens of companies will do this for you, Robar being one of the best known. If you're handy at all, you can DIY.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

OK: Hold on; back-up one step.

If you choose something for her she won't like it or use it. SHE needs to settle on something she likes.

Who cares if she decides on a .22LR Walther PP (hint - .22 cal Walther PP) or a .25 Baby Browning?!! If she picks it herself she will practice with it and carry it. Otherwise it will be foreign to her and you are wasting your time.

Example:

I wanted to buy my wife a revolver. After much looking to placate me she finally confessed: She simply doesn't like the look of revolvers. She just doesn't. So she took it upon herself to learn how to operate a 1911. I didn't interfere. Then, one day, when I wasn't expecting it, she took my Glock 36 and decided that was the one. Not a revolver. Not a 1911. Not a 9mm but a .45. It has been hers ever since. None of my business, I say. I'm just glad she decided on something that suits her and that she will have nearby if (heaven forbid) she ever needs it.

In sum: It's a process. You can't short-cut it and you can't do it for her.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

The PM9 is my EDC, and I love it. I think it is a joy to shoot, and its recoil is a bunch less than all of the other "micro-compact" 9mm's I've fired.

Still, I think it would be a bit much for a petite and gunshy woman.

I also advocate a revolver for those that are not going to train up on handling a semi-auto, and particularly for those without the upper body strength to gaurantee no limp wristing.

Catch 22 is that even a steel or stainless J-frame with 38spl has a fairly stout recoil that a petite gunshy woman won't be fond of.

I purchased my fiancee a Smith 442 (aluminum frame) 38+p, and scared her away from it first time out, with plain jane 38spl winchester white box.

I remedied this by buying some cast 80 or 90gr bullets, and putting them on top of 3gr of Trailboss. I waited several months before bringing her back out, so she'd (hopefully) forget about being bitten by the pistol last time.

She warmed right up to it, because it shoots SOFT.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

mine has a walther PPK-S
round chambered with the safety off and carrying it that way is not any different than a snub nose revolver the gun is solid and a good weight/size
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

I've got a Kahr CW9. I like it a lot, never had any issues with it (500+ rounds downrange, lots of different ammo). No external safties, just point & click. It's got a longer double actionish trigger pull, but it's very smooth.

I liked it better than the PM or CMs due to the longer grip - a smidge harder to conceal, but still not bad. The longer grip helps control-ability - and no pinky dangle.

I agree with the "let her pick the gun" idea, also good is the "let her try a bunch of different ones to see what she likes" theory.

There is merit to the new bullet every trigger pull of a revolver, but whatever she gets will require practice to be familiar with the system.

Good luck!
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

For someone who doesn't like guns at all, and is petite, you might be best off to set her up with something like a Ruger LCR in 22 rimfire.

I normally am in the 9mm and up camp. But in her case, a small, light, low recoiling, reliable 22 that she is able to shoot reasonably well at close range might be something to consider. The little LCR loaded up with 8 rounds of CCI Velocitor would beat a 25 auto in my mind.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

I know you are looking for a weapon recomendation for you wife, but if I may make an observation being a chick, you say she "doesn't like guns" and I think this is the primary thing you need to address. Why does she "not like guns"? There is an emotional issue/fear there. Address this first and then if you listen you might be able to figure out how to fix it and from there get her actually into a weapon she enjoys enough to handle and train with. Just my opinion. I personally have never not been in love with all things guns and shooting, but do certainly understand that many women are not and also know there are ways to bring them around in a way that is a win for all involved.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

175G's advice is good. If she doesn't like revolvers then look for an auto that is simple to use and in a caliber that doesn't force her to deal with too much recoil.

A P238 is great if your used to a 1911 but a poor choice if your not. Look for a used P230. No safeties, long but light and smooth first round pull, small but adequate grip, real sights, an adequate cartridge, light, manual slide cycle that is managable for a gal and excellent reliability.

Start her training with a .22 so she can develop confidence and technique without having to deal with recoil. After she has developed some skills, borrow a bunch of possibles from your buddies and let her give them a try. Though I may favor the 230 she may think it's crap. I started my wife with a Beretta .380, not! Next she tried a couple of J frames. OK but no love. She tried my six inch Python and it was instant love. The woman obviuosly has good taste in revolvers and has her own four inch Python that shes been shooting for 30+ years.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

I would recommend either an S&W Model 36 (Chief Special) or a Colt Detective, both in 38 special. These are smaller and easy to shoot while being safe to cary. 38 special still gets the job done.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

The G26/27 is a great carry weapon for a beginner. Keep it simple. If you want her to try it, buy a 9mm conversion barrel for your G27 and run it as a 9mm. The grip on the G26/27 is not very good for first time shooters. I had Coldbore Customs do my grip reduction on my G27. Fits a lot better now.

Used to carry a P238 but with a good holster, I can conceal my G23 or my G27 just as good as my P238. Sold the Sig and now carry a Glock.

Member above stated about using a .22 for training. Can also get a .22 kit for the Glocks. I have one for my G19 and on for the G27. Get a good feel for your carry gun but a lot easier to teach a new shooter and alot cheaper too.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

Yeah-we're going shooting next weekend, and I told her we'll start off with the.22; which she is comfortablle with. After that, we'll go to .380, then on to 9mm-unless she likes the way that particular caliber shoots and wants to run that. I look at it as though this is her decision, but I want to know and understand what's out there--about all I've ever ran is glocks...
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

The best thing I did was buy a Ruger 22/45 to acquaint my wife with pistols.

She was so afraid of recoil it nearly paralyzed her. Then she finally pulled the trigger and said "oh, that's all it is?"

Then we moved on.

Every time she started developing bad habits, flinching, slapping the trigger..., we went back to the .22 to practice form.

Once it was corrected, I put the 9mm back in her hands and said don't do anything different.

It takes time.

A j frame in 22 mag would have been much easier.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

My wife carries a HK P2000SK in 9mm, which is actually a really good CCW pistol, accurate and dependable, manages recoil well and has good magazine capacity. Similar to yours, my wife is petite with small hands and the backstrap inserts allow the grip to be adjustable and fit her well. A consideration with the micro pistols is that while they are small they often do not shoot or manage recoil well, just one man's $0.02!
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: _9H_Cracka</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My wife weapon is my personality - have not had a wife for 10 years. </div></div>

Ba dum chhhhh.

Tip your servers folks...

untitled.png

 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

Initially, I got my wife a 45. She is small, but was a gymnast in college, very strong hands. recoil was not an issue, complexity was. Never used it.

Then got her a S&W 642 (hammerless, stainless, J frame, 38). That has worked much better.

"A gun that is with you is much better than one in the safe at home"

BMT
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

My wife shoots the .22 Beretta. She will practice with it with standard ammo and I load stingers for her to carry.
Graham has a good point. I took it long ago. Get her what she will shoot. My wife carries the Beretta in a little belt holster in the summer around the farm in case of rattle snakes (and undesirables who drive up the driveway uninvited)
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

check out the kahr t9. Got one for the wife the other day. I've run about 200 rounds through it, she's run about 350 through it. Once we got over the long trigger pull, flinch game, she's a damn good shot. We're gonna keep shooting it, and keep shooting, and then shoot some more. I want her to be VERY comfortable with it. FWIW, I ended up with the Kahr after my local shop ran out of the M&P Shield
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

Thank you all for your input-I used to run HK years ago (got in a bind and had to sell my HK 91 & USP-STILL regret it!)...I forgot all about checking with them! Also-the interchangeable backstraps on the Glock (gen 4) uses the same principle...
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

rent a 380 and 9's and see which she likes to shoot.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: leprechaun</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I'm going to state something that is obvious but needs stated.IF your wife does not have good gun handling skills PLEASE get her a small revolver.

This is meant respectfully but I have seen too many guys get their wives guns they had no buisness being behind as they did not know how to competently use the handgun.

If you go with a ruger LCR or something along the S&W lady smith line I believe she will be much better served as all she has to do if the gun doesn't go off is just keep pulling that trigger </div></div>
This comment is right on guys. My wife can shoot a pistol, but she can't load the first round in a semi-auto without a struggle - even my PPK! The female proprietor of a local gun shop recommended a small S&W .38 for reliable self defense for women, which my wife bought and shoots. Buy a small revolver if your wife/girlfriend has ANY trouble handling a pistol and make certain the trigger pull is well within her capability.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

Bought my wife a P238 and she loved it,but after shooting my boys 45 now she wants one.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

My wife has a P238 and seems to really like it.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Magstang1</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I had a similar situation with my wife.

I bought her a M&P 9mm compact.

I should have bought her a revolver.

She had lots of trouble limp wristing and jamming it up. Lots.

I thought it was a problem with the gun. I ran a crap load of ammo through it and never had a failure in my hands.

Lets be real. She will be intimidated. She's not going to want to train as much as she should.

This needs to be as simple as possible. No safeties. No lasers. No dodads.

Bottom line: a gun that goes bang every time you pull the trigger no matter what.

Revolver!

Do you really think she's going to be able to recover from a first round stovepipe?</div></div>

If she has trouble limp wristing there is a lot of truth in the above post...

Also don't go too small...the compact weapons are small enough for purse carry, and are much easier to hang onto/shoot correctly than the sub-compacts.

Whichever weapon you two decide on, make sure she understands that the gun always should be carried in a holster...never loose in a purse or pocket. Tragedies happen when stuff gets in the trigger guard. You don't want a negligent discharge when she is rooting around in there for the checkbook or keys or lipstick.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

I bought my wife a compact Glock, she never carried it, didn't like the concept of the Glock's action and no visible safety. I brought home a S&W model 40 lemon squeezer 38special +P.
S&W_Model_40_2Inch_A.large.jpg

She handled it for 5 minutes and said I want it. She feels more comfortable with it. The double action trigger and a grip safety make her more confidence in her ability to handle the weapon safely. Shes gotten pretty good with it too. Now since she has a gun she likes she carries everyday
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

My wife carries a LCP with a Crimson laser and loves it. She even bought a special purse that has a pocket on the end of the purse that conceals it. It even has a guarantee that if you have to you can shoot with the pistol still in the purse and they will replace the purse. The only problem I have found is the LCP doesn't like to be dirty.