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Maggie’s You might be a gun nut if...

jrassy

jrassy

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    • Aug 16, 2010
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    you might be a gun nut if;Quote
    YOU MIGHT BE A GUN NUT……

    -If You've ever dabbed a little Hoppe's on your neck before going on a date...
    -If you bought checkering tools, checkered all your gunstocks and are now starting on the bedposts...
    -If you cannot really recall just how many guns you own...
    -Surplus ammunition suppliers call you to see if there was anything you were looking for...
    -If you bought a gun from a gunshop, only to realize you used to own it years ago...
    -If you've ever shot out a 1911 barrel.........
    -If you save brass and have a case tumbler, but don't reload...
    -If you ever stripped the paint off of your car and then blued it
    -If you've ever bought ammo for a caliber you didn,t shoot, thinking that someday you might own a gun in that caliber...
    -If your computer passwords are gun related...
    -If your five-year-old can detail strip and fully reassemble an M-1 Garand............
    -If you take your guns out of the safe and handle them, just so you can wipe them down before going to bed...
    -If your local gunsmith calls you for obsolete parts...
    -If you home-school and use ballistic tables for math lessons...
    -If your gun safe is bigger than your refrigerator...
    -If the speedometer on your car is in both m.p.h. and fps...
    -If you call Brownells and they recognize your voice...
    -If you own reloading dies for calibers that you do not shoot...
    -If you understand Smith and Wesson's model numbers...
    -If you ever bought two different brands of the same bullet just to see which one "shot better"...
    -If watching the Lion King gives you the itch for a .470 Nitro...
    -If you cut out your best groups and carry them in your wallet like photos...
    -If you've ever gone to a gun show three times in one month, and were excited every time...
    -If you feel that a golf course is a willful and deliberate misuse of a perfectly good rifle range...
    -If you ever accidentally seasoned a steak with FFFFg black powder...
    -If your brass tumbler used to be a small cement mixers.
    -If you identify the gun on the cover of Dillon's Blue Press before you notice the girl...
    -If you make $30/hr at work and spent 35 min- on your knees at the range looking for that last piece of .40 brass...
    -If you have guns in your safes that you can't for the life of you remember how you came by...
    -If the FBI asks you to identify firearms they can't...
    -If ammo manufacturers had to layoff workers when you went to Europe for a month's vacation...
    -If you know the range of every tree in the neighborhood...
    -if you can tell the caliber of any spent casing just by feel...
    -If you plead with the gun shop to hold a rifle/shotgun until you have space for it...
    -If you can't figure out why your non-shooting friends laugh when you say "Bushmaster"...
    -If you didn't get that last one because you don't have any "non-shooting" friends...
    -If you driver's license says "must wear night vision goggles."
    -If your shoulder is callused...
    -If manufactures ask you how their rifles hold up.
    -If you get misty eyed evey time you sell a gun..
    -If you alternate Silvertips, Hydra-Shoks and Black Talons in your magazines because they look prettier that way..........
    -If you guess windage and range every time you look at a road sign...
    -If you went out to the range this weekend to shoot up ammo, just so you'd have some brass to reload...
    -RCBS answers your phone calls, "What have YOU dreamed up this time?"..............
    -if you can name the parts of your post-ban rifle you had to (or want to) swap out to make a legal semi auto AW
    -if someone asks about the president and you think they're talking about charlton heston
    -if you know the model numbers of your glocks, how many and what size mags you have, and which are loaded, but have no idea when your anniversary is.
    -if you've ever had to explain why you need armor piercing rounds to someone
    -if you don't know that there is a difference between "the Internet" and "Glock Talk"
    -if you have ever run out of gas in your car, but have never run out of ammo before
    -if you know the serial numbers of your guns, but still get your kids' names mixed up.
    -if you hold a firearms related record in Guiness book of world records.
    -if you go to gun shows with a grocery buggy (painted camo of course)
    -if you had to explain to someone what a "SHTF scenerio" is
    -if you had a gun rack on your bike when you were a kid
    -if you know why 30-06 is pronounced "thirty alt six"
    -if you buy all of your clothes at wal-mart but own some of the most expensive holsters known to man
    -if your name is on California's AW ban
    -if you walk up on a conversation about horses and as soon as you hear "colt", you are immediately interested.
    -if your favorite saint is John Moses Browning.
    -if your favorite paint color is "gun metal grey".
    -if you break off on a dissertation on how badly congress screwed Bill Ruger.
    -if you anticipate another shooting session while you are putting your guns away at the range.
    -if you look at Shotgun News the way teenagers look at playboy
    -if every street sign within 5 miles of your house looks like it came from chechnya
    -if you went to college, but owned more gun manuals than text books
    -if the national guard armory has your phone number on "call block" because you keep making bids on their WWII artillary piece sitting out front
    -if you carry a backup gun in case the backup for your backup fails.
    -if you carry concealed at the beach
    -if third world arms dealers consider you to be the largest gun runner in the world (but you keep all the stuff for yourself)
    -if you were arrested/questioned about the sniper shootings
    -if you've filled out more "yellow forms" than income tax forms
    -if you have your own VIP parking spot at gun shows.
    -if you hear someone say "it's about 9:45" and you think to yourself "good grief, the 9mm/.45 debate will never end!"
    -if you sit through a violent movie and aren't bothered by gorey violence, but flinch when someone drops a firearm (might scratch it)
    -if you have been banned from a movie theater because you always stand up in the middle of the movie and tell everyone you can't fire 30 rounds from a revolver without reloading.
    -if you ever took apart your Nintendo zapper and installed custom trigger,laser sight, scope, etc. for Duck Hunt
    -if you have more firearms than friends
    -if you have insurance covering your guns, but not you
    -if Hillary Clinton makes your skin crawl.
    -if you slide your paddle holster on to check your mail.
    -if you slide your paddle holster on to take out the garbage.
    -if you find yourself rapidly disassembling/re-assembling your handgun....in the dark.....on the toilet.
    -if you drive to work with a $1500 Kimber in a $500 pick-up.
    -if your guns are named names usually reserved for people
    -if you designed your own caliber and built a firearm to fire it
    -if you grew up with loaded guns all around you, but it never crossed your mind to shoot up your school.
    -if you've read the Constitution
    -if you know the second amendment by heart
    -if you know the second amendment translated into more than 3 languages
    -if you used to have a hill as a backstop, but now it has become a 30 foot high mound of pure lead.
    -if you make your own reloading tools
    -if you make your own powder
    -if you don't label your reloading powder, because you can hear the difference when shaking the can
    -if you have ever read an article in the crime section of the newspaper and read "the suspect had over 200 rounds of ammunition", then assumed it was a misprint. who in his right mind would get down to only 200 rounds???
    -if your CCW is a shotgun
    -if your CCW is a .50
    -if your CCW is a LAW
    - if you find yourself doing trigger and muzzle control on the bottle of your wife's glass cleaner
    - if your girlfriend/wife is jealous of the time you spend with your guns
    - if your wishlist on midwayusa totals up to the price of a new car
    - if that new car would be a Bentley
    - if your already thinking about your next gun while your filling out the paperwork on the one you're buying.
    - if the guys at the local gun shop send you a christmas card
    - if you own a guns you haven't shot yet
    - if you have a room in your house dedicated to guns
    - if when someone says "but what if you don't have a gun with you?" and after 15 minutes you still can comprehend how that would be possible.
    - if the sound of full auto gun fire makes you feel all warm and fuzzy
    -if you shook the presents under your tree, and one fired a round out of it.
    -if you've spent more money at Midway USA, Brownell's, and Cabela's than the companies are worth.
    -if your will specifies your favorite firearm(s) to be buried with you.
    -if the glock talk logo is burned into your computer monitor.
    -if you have had a friend who thought knives were soooo cool and dangerous, then you showed him your AK-47 collection
    -if you wonder why you must renew your CCW license every year, but your marriage license won't expire.
    -if someone asks how many guns you have, and the answer begins with "about" (i.e. "about 50 or so").
    -if you took an ink blot test, and your answers were things like "an AR-15 sear", "bolt release from ruger 10-22", "firing pin from M1911", etc.
    -if you know you carry 45 caliber 230 grain full metal jacketed hydra-shock hollow points from Federal, but don't know the color of your wife's eyes.
    -if you have ever shot a hole in something by accident
    -if that something was your TV during a Bush/Gore debate
    -if you buy Hoppe's solvent in 50 gallon drums because your howitzer "likes" it
    -if the gun show owners let you in free.
    -if you named a dog after a gun.
    -if you name your kids after your guns.
    -if you time yourself each time you fill out one of those yellow forms, and you're down to a minute flat.
    -if NICS put your favorite gun dealer on call block.
    -if you're only dating/marrying a girl so you can shoot her gun collection.
    -if the wallpaper on your desktop is firearm related
    -if the wallpaper in a room of your house is firearm related
    -if you have no wallpaper or house, but live in a dug-out underground bunker to keep your guns safe
    -if CNN does a report on gun control and shows a table of guns from a gun show, and one of them has your name engraved on the side.
    -if you carry pictures of your guns in your wallet
    -if you ever heard gun shots outside your house late at night, but fell into a state of sheer panic because you couldn't decide which gun to grab.
    -if your favorites in the computer only have one folder, "guns."
    __________________
     
    I qualify for a lot of them. I laughed when I saw the dog thing. My dog's name is Mildot.
     
    That was awesome, and I think I might have a problem because I can relate to way to many of those.
     
    -If you feel that a golf course is a willful and deliberate misuse of a perfectly good rifle range... TOTALLY agree

    -If the FBI asks you to identify firearms they can't... Had an instructor before who would qualify for this
     
    Good list. Scary to see how many apply to me.....I am going to walk my dog....."Magpul, lets go for walk"
     
    -if you were arrested/questioned about the sniper shootings

    Qualify for a bunch but this one made me laugh. During the DC "sniper" shootings I was paid a visit by the FBI at both work and home.
     
    ....if you read this while checking the Hide at 5:05am on the toilet before work on your smartphone.
     
    "- if you find yourself doing trigger and muzzle control on the bottle of your wife's glass cleaner"
    Made me "snort-out-loud" at work....In a room that is filled with geeks my snort went unnoticed.
     
    Scored 200 pcs of 243 Win (Winchester brand) brass in a local store this weekend. During the drive home, I remember thinking to myself: I wish I could fill a bathtub with new brass and climb in, have a good dark beer and relax.
     
    When there is great concern about the structural floor load limits on your second floor ammo room...
     
    • Like
    Reactions: hino895
    If you have multiple tactical contingency plans for various scenarios in your house... and have exercised them,
     
    Wow, I answered "Yes" to about 2/3 of these. But I can add one more;
    "If you would rather be caught by your wife having an affair than buying another gun....."
     
    One of the best posts in a while.

    A friend just told me about this incident: Several years ago, he was doing some gun research and a fellow worker told him to ask me. The coworker identified me as "Mr.Ballistic,"
     
    Last edited:
    when your going to a match and get pulled over and the cop ask's "do you have any firearm's"
    and your reply is "ya what do you need" .
     
    • Like
    Reactions: hino895
    That post should be a sticky under the Sniper's Hide FAQ:

    Q: "Should I sign up as a Hide Member?"
    A: If any of the criteria listed below are true, then you'll fit right in!
     
    don't forget
    -Your greatest fear is your wife selling your guns for what you told her you paid for them!
    -When you check your email in the morning you check "whats new?" before gmail or facebook
    -people at work think your a prep'er because you got 1000 rounds delivered to your office so they wouldn't sit out in the rain on your doorstep... if they only knew!
     
    might be a gun nut if:

    When cleaning out the spam folder in your email account
    you find a shooting product ad and immediately mark it: Not Spam!

    Your atm pin is based on the number of and caliber of
    firearms you currently own: 4223, 2357, 1308, 2270
    and you change it whenever another firearm is acquired.

    You've purchased lawn chair cushions to pad your truck bed
    so the "collection" doesn't get jolted on the drive to the range,
    even though they're all in their own individual padded hardside cases.
     
    Last edited:
    every time you watch dirty harry and he tosses his 29 on the sidewalk in the "cross" scene and it makes that noise - you sincerely cringe and picture the gouge going down the side if the cylinder.

    in rambo you see the ak47 mud scene that convinces you that you need one.

    the ejecting empty garand clip sound is your ring tone

    the racking slide sound of an 870 on your alarm clock is the only thing that gets you up after daylight saving time

    you notice the trigger caution of the bikini models on the firearm calendars before the bikini models

    you think how much more fun st patrick's day would be if he gotten rid of snakes with a 10/22 and scatter shot .22lr ammo

    thinking of st patrick and things green, you think of how many other words you can make out of "remington"

    12:00.01 am on new years day, you are already on your 5th round rather than smootching jenny mccarthy

    after sunset on july 4 you break out the ammo can of tracers

    the sheriff's office gets pissed when you pose with your concealed carry peace for your picture on the CC license

    when a car salesman says "automatic transmission", you think "tactical reload, then fire support side"

    with the technology available, why did 007 have such a girlie pistol?

    santa sends your presents to your FFL

    you can remember the dates you bought your rifles, but not your wedding anniversary

    you police your brass after every wedding, funeral, or birthday.

    part of the test drive for your new vehicle is how many pelican cases you can fit in the back.

    you can recite ballistic tables, FPS, and wind adjustments out to 1000 yards for almost any caliber, but can't figure out your 1040A.

    your personalized license plate tends to curb you being tailgaited

    to save time, your FFL has 4473's with your info already on it

    you prefer the smell of a freshly opened can of powder over bacon.

    you get served with a desist order from american candle referring to your petitions to come out with a fired case or hoppes scent.

    your 1911 gets it's own pillow

    you take more than 20 minutes to write all this crap down.
     
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    When you have bought a spare building to house your collection.

    When you have to purchase a Class III pintle hitch to bring home a new purchase.

    When the instant background check folks know your info by heart.

    Your fellow officers say: "When SHTF, we're coming to your place."

    When you get Christmas cards hand-signed by all the staff at the National Firearms Museum.

    All true stories...

    But none of those top the one from my friend Dave. At the Tulsa Gun Show last fall, Dave had his picture taken with Wayne LaPierre... by Tom Selleck. Now that's a gun nut...

    Cheers,

    Sirhr
     
    My coworker put a sign on my engineering office door that identified me as Chief Ballistics Officer.
    The DEP police K9 guy brings his dog to the office to check my jacket pockets. (Happened once, thought the dog was very polite, sits down next to me. Cop says "What's in your pockets?? Holy crap, had a loaded .308 round. All sealed, dog still found it!)
     
    Last edited:
    Might be a gun nut if:
    -Your kids bedtime stories are written by Zeddiker or Bryan Litz.
    -If your kids know tap rack bang for their Nerf guns.
    -If your kids(ages 7 and 4) know how to do a failure drill with his Nerf guns.
    -If you compare groups from you range session to clumps of Nerf darts on the walls and doors of your home.
    -If your wife asks if you had to pick between your AIAW or her.
    -If you hesitate before you answer.
    -If you aren't sad when she leaves you because everything is still in the safe.
    -If your dad used to be a gunsmith.
    -If you knew how to bed a rifle and do a trigger job before you had your drivers lisense.
    -If you childhood bedtime stories were chapters out of Hatchers Notebook, Lymans Reloading Manuel and you always asked for one more page.
    -If you cringe at YouTube videos of inexperienced shooters not because some of them may have been injured but because someone who owns firearms was irresponsible and negligent when they thought it would be more fun to laugh at somebody's misfortune than start them off properly.
    -If you don't have a Facebook account but would rather have a SnipersHide account instead because you know you will have something in common with the people on this part of the internet.
    -If your ex-wife bought a dog and named it Remington so you couldn't stay mad when it shit on the floor.
    -If you taught your son basic math using a reloading Manuel, scale and powder or bullets.

    These added to almost 2/3's of the ones above, I may need an intervention, or a trip to the range.
     
    On more then one occasion, you had to give one of your BUGs to a teammate. Because half way to the job-in-progress he realized he left his pistol in his locker, but said he knew you would have a "spare".
     
    - If you smile in church when numbers from the hymnal (song book) are 223, 308, 243 , 9, 40, 45, 357 ...etc
    - If you have ever suffered from "primer" foot
    - If when building shelving you consider the load bearing potential in regards to the amount of weight it may hold in regards to ammo or projectiles
    - When you walk in the gun store it's similar to "Nooorm" walking into Cheers
    - You were given "pop" quizzes by your dad while watching actions movies as to the identity of the weapon being used
    - You receive small boxes that have incredible weight for their size leaving the ups guy to think wtf is in here
    - You've been bought lunches or received ammo for cleaning weapons which others find it such a pain to do (only pistols) ...rifles require better bribes
     
    Last edited:
    Whe the value of your rifles/scopes eclipses your cars, furniture, electronics.... combined
     
    I think I passed the test... My wife has only just one reason I'm a gun nut. Because I won't plan or go on any road trips/vacations in a place where my CPLs aren't honored in. She can't stand it.
     
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