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Impossible, he would have told us immediately.
Ah...the Xframe.....
Subject: 460 and 500 magnum S&W super revolvers
This is a study, a term paper if you will, on the "super revolvers" and creatures who own them.
Variety is the spice of life. Everyone knows that quote. Nothing could be truer in the world of firearms. As enthusiasts we like spice, but a true gourmand knows too much spice can ruin the soup.
This treatise, is an observation on the owners of "super magnum revolvers". It is my contention that they fall into rather ordered genus and specie/sub specie categories.
It is not my intention to besmirch these less fortunate and handicapped species.
It is in no wise mean spirited. However, I am a grumpy old man, I make no apologies for this fact. Sure, one could postulate I'm a has been, and simply find ways to fill my now useless existence with some modicum of mirth and satisfaction. To that I would contend and assert, that no one is completely useless.
Without further ado, the "Origin of SWSR Species" of course we can assert the division and class to be under "Gunous Ownerous"
We will begin with family and genus.
"Scientificus Pistolaricus"
Generally these guys are on a scientific and experimental standing. They are generally rather knowledgeable, tending to be museum types. They do not take the super revolvers seriously. They are aware of the joke about selling ketchup Popsicles in July, to women in white gloves. They do not shoot these pistols. They are intellectuals and "sciency" dudes. Some sub species in this family and genus are ardent primer weighers. Many of them are really good dudes, but some are rather cranky and set in their ways. A small smattering of the "Fuddiea" species can be found here. Enough about the white coats.
"Clownicus Fuddiea"
In most circles known simply as clown funds. Extremely varied and hard to pin down. A new sub specie is discovered constantly. So many guns so many funds, ah the humanity. These are not particular to any one particular firearm, some are actually several subspecies. Its quite interesting and a fantastic study in the evolution of these creatures.
"Clownicus Fuddiea Pistolaricus"
These guys own pistols, they own them, love them, probably sleep with them. Their pistols are better than your pistols. They always hold their hand over their heart at the mention of Jerry Miculek, John Wick, Elmer Keith, Bob Minden, Hikock45 and a few others.
They spend a lot of time at gunshows. They would have shot the last 3 gun match, but there was a gunshow that week. Their pistols are generally safe queens. Their pistols aren't for sale, but if they sell one you better bring your gold bullion, cause their pistols are accurate, rare, and special.
They don't shoot their pistols of course. If they are selling one they've never shot it, if they are talking about how accurate they are, they are range buddies with Miculek(hand over heart, hand over heart).
Among "pistolaricus" almost to the man, they own a 500 or 460 Maggum, many own a couple or more. They love em, shootem all the time. If you don't want to shoot one, you are a pussy or not a real pistol shooter.
In the species "pistolaricus" there are other sub species, who are exclusively owners of one or more of these SWSR. They have unique identifying behaviors.
"Youtubiea"
They take great pride in making videos of firing the SWSR. Some have even committed seppuku with their own weapon. You have to admire such dedication. They also take delight in handing the weapon to a female or child, so they can laugh later. Sometimes the joke is on them, when they accidentally commit involuntary manslaughter, when the extremely violent recoil, results in a negligent discharge while the gun is in full recoil well beyond the "180 safe zone". Unfortunately, it isn't always the one who was truly negligent, that catches the round.
Almost always bloviating braggers. They are almost always in the "shotgunicus" species as well. Big fans of pistol grip shotguns.
"Dipshitiea"
These are generally people who have no business with anything beyond a potato gun. This is a common sub along the entire genus. They love SWSRs.
"Viagridea"
This one is self explanatory. Its true, they have tiny dicks, or dicks that don't work. They are definately compensating for something. They love to show off their SWSR. Horrible dancers, they make Elaine from Seinfeld look like Travolta in Night Fever. If you go on a first date with this guy, he is gonna show you his SWSR.
"Napoleonidea"
They are short....in more ways than one. The chihuahua of the family and genus. He has something to prove. Thinks Armorpl8chikn is just a fat old prick that never really did all the shit he said he did.
Doesn't like constructive criticism. He shoots good enough. He killed a whitetail with his SWSR. He ain't scared of a little "kick" in his pistol. He can handle it.
"Recoilicus"
He likes em big! Bigger the boom the better! Talks loud as hell. Really wants a revolver in 50BMG. Can't hear his self fart. Can't shoot for shit. Shoots alone almost exclusively. Of course that is a common trait among some of these species. Has a flinch that makes Michael J. Fox look like a street statue performer. Refers to his SWSR as "this little thing?"
"Collecticus"
Owns tons of guns. Got plenty of expendable income. Bought an SWSR cause it was a "good investment". Attends gun shows regular. Has 1449 rounds for it....he shot it one time and put it away. This guy isn't a complete moron. He takes it to the gunshow often as trade fodder.
To Quote Norman Thayer Jr.
”What’s the point of having dwarfs if they can’t do chores.”
One of my sons did this with a cake that had green frosting. It was a very difficult choice but we had to report him for being alienist
Thank you for your service to the cause, komerad
All apologies. It’s absolutely nothing personal, I’m sure you are a great teacher and mentor. Sometimes I can’t help but make the obvious off-color joke that is staring me in the face
@Wiillk - thicken the skin sir
Being a person demanding apologies is a liberal kinda thing to do.
Virtue signal much?
And no, Im not apologizing for being honest.
Your demand in the last sentence goes against everything you wrote in the paragraphs above it.
Apparently, free speech isn't something you're familiar with or support.
Joe doesn’t have opposable thumbsI hope you didn’t type that with your thumbs.
Forgive my shock. I had never heard her mention the cost before. Last time I was in a barber shop, it cost me about five bucks, tip included.
Just finished the same thing a couple of days ago back in OR. Two 30 yard dumpsters, 19 flatbed trailer trips to the metal recycler with 35,200+ lbs of scrap steel, two 30' ocean going vessels to the junkyard, a few more trailers to the dump, a fire sale on heavy equipment, and one big ass bonfire all done in 4 1/2 days. Nothing like trying to clear 50 years of commercial diving, logging, and heavy equipment jammed onto 3 acres under blackberry bushes rotting away in the OR coastal rain.
I hope you didn’t type that with your thumbs.
I am the missing link. Ask @Lawless
ETA.
You own an X Frame Smith dont you?
Or is it a BFR in 45/70?
On her best day Amelia never looked that good…..
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