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Maggie’s Funny & awesome pics, vids and memes thread (work safe, no nudity)

We all know who's work this is

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plumber.gif
 
Our son spent a good bit of time and effort making his Miata optimized for auto cross. It really made a difference. with R rated tires, the shocks, springs, locking differential, the times were way down. He was competitive and when I drove it, I was in the middle of the pack. (Which was a big up for me, 15th out of 30 as opposed to 28 or 29th out of 30.). I was much quicker around the auto cross course than I was with my Corvette. Even being ‘just’ a C-5, it was way more power than I could use in the tight confines of an auto cross course. I really admire the young men and women who drive those on the road course. Takes skill that I simply did not have.

so, yes, I certainly agree, R rated tires do make a huge difference, however, slicks can get a bit dicey in a downpour.
At the local autocrosses I used to run at, there were about 5 of us at the head of the pack. I was one, a guy with a pretty well sorted LS swapped RX7 that was around 450hp, a guy with an Acura swapped Civic, and a couple guys with turbo Nissan's, I think a 240 sx and maybe a 180 sx, each of them making about 500-600hp. And then me in my little 7. Totally different cars, but we were all really close for times, and any one of us could be on top on any given day. It was a lot of fun. The RX7 and the civic were pure race cars, and the Nissan's were highly modded street cars.
Kristian
 
I had a Lotus7 50 years ago, before I had a drivers permit, It had a meager 1.8 out of an MGB. Modern 7's are far superior but lack the "sports car" heritage,
Mine's even worse than that then. It's a homebuilt based on the book "Build your own Sportscar for 250£ and race it". It's a tiny bit bigger than a real lotus 7, and I put a 3.0 V6 in mine. I built it almost entirely out of junkyard parts from probably about 10 different vehicles.
Kristian
 

Or Antifa Riots in East LA where the cholo’s would hack those suburban faggots into cubes and feed them to their chihuahuas.

But Rodeo Drive is safe and they can loot stores For expensive capitalist goods like their Nike’s, iPads and pink Stanley sippy cups.

Sirhr
 

“Last I thought we were a democracy.” Hmmm

The use of the word, "democracy" is no accident. She knows good and well that we are a constitutional republic.

It started with Woodrow Wilson and his "make the world safe for democracy" pledge. "Democracy" sounds good to people that are too lazy or too stupid to study government and politics, or fail to realize how the real world works.

"Democracy" sounds good to people that desire to keep everyone equal and on a level playing field. "Democracy" sounds good because it has an empowering effect on people that want to make a difference.

"Democracy" sounds good to people that don't want their vote watered down. They look at a republic as an entity which destroys their rights and a hindrance to freedom.

"Democracy" is a word that most politicians use because people have been conditioned to think that is our form of government.

When most people hear the word "republic" they think the opposite of "democracy." They feel that a "republic" is designed to destroy the will of the people rather than protect the rights of the minority.

"Democracy" is a good word to use if you want to deceive the voters. A deceived voter is easier to manipulate than an educated one. A deceived voter is happy as long as they are on the winning side. Heck, we all are happy when we are on the winning side.

However the deceived voter howls the loudest when 51% of the voters [the other side] vote to take something away from him.

People would rather believe a beautiful lie instead of the ugly truth. Nooki Haley is the kind of woman that will look at you and say, "I just had sex with him. It's not like I really love him. You can still trust me."
 
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One thing I have just had a "knack" for is "driving" anything. Skid steer, well pull this lever and this happens push you foot that happens, toe down that, heel down, twist right hand.......Same on a fork truck, same on a OLD hay truck like above. I got to solo in an airplane unusually quickly. I can also back a trailer with no issues, just let me see one side and I will back it across the state.....for me it is not that hard. It is one of those things that just clicks.

The skid loader was the thing that shocked everyone. Ok what does what....got it. Go slow....ok. And I took to it like breathing. Running a backhoe, same thing. It just clicks.
 
The use of the word, "democracy" is no accident. She knows good and well that we are a constitutional republic.

It started with Woodrow Wilson and his "make the work safe for democracy" pledge. "Democracy" sounds good to people that are too lazy or too stupid to study government and politics, or fail to realize how the real world works.

"Democracy" sounds good to people that desire to keep everyone equal and on a level playing field. "Democracy" sounds good because it has an empowering effect on people that want to make a difference.

"Democracy" sounds good to people that don't want their vote watered down. They look at a republic as an entity which destroys their rights and a hindrance to freedom.

"Democracy" is a word that most politicians use because people have been conditioned to think that is our form of government.

When most people hear the word "republic" they think the opposite of "democracy." They feel that a "republic" is designed to destroy the will of the people rather than protect the rights of the minority.

"Democracy" is a good word to use if you want to deceive the voters. A deceived voter is easier to manipulate than an educated one. A deceived voter is happy as long as they are on the winning side. Heck, we all are happy when we are on the winning side.

However the deceived voter howls the loudest when 51% of the voters [the other side] vote to take something away from him.

People would rather believe a beautiful lie instead of the ugly truth. Nooki Haley is the kind of woman that will look at you and say, "I just had sex with him. It's not like I really love him. You can still trust me."

To most of the voting idiots, Democrat=Democracy,
Republican=Republic.

That's how willfully ignorant (=Stupid) they are.
 
one.. and if you were good, you didn't even use it

Had Datsun in college with a clutch that gave up the ghost. I drove it for nearly a year without a clutch.

Parked it facing downhill and used the starter to get it rolling in first gear. Made a LOT of right turns that year.

Gave a guy a ride home from work once. His reaction at the first intersection was "this isn't the way" to which I responded "can't stop, I don't have a clutch". By the time we got to his house he had one hand in a death grip on the jebus handle, one hand on the ceiling, one foot on the dash and I swear he put a dent in the floor with the other foot. People at work never looked at me the same after that.
 
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Reactions: Kalthoff and Ichi
A young woman was hosting a dinner party for her friends and served a delicious pot roast. One of her friends enjoyed it so much that she asked for the recipe, and the young woman wrote it down for her.

Upon looking over the recipe, her friend inquired, “Why do you cut both ends off the roast before it is prepared and put in the pan?” The young woman replied, “I don’t know. I cut the ends off because I learned this recipe from my mom and that was the way she had always done it.”

Her friend’s question got the young woman thinking and so the next day she called her mom to ask her: “Mom, when we make the pot roast, why do we cut off and discard the ends before we set it in the pan and season it?” Her mom quickly replied, “That is how your grandma always did it and I learned the recipe from her.”

Now the young woman was really curious, so she called her elderly grandma and asked her the same question: “Grandma, I often make the pot roast recipe that I learned from mom and she learned from you. Why do you cut the ends off the roast before you prepare it?”

The grandmother thought for a while, since it had been years since she made the roast herself, and then replied, “I cut them off because the roast was always bigger than the pan I had back then. I had to cut the ends off to make it fit.”
 
Mine's even worse than that then. It's a homebuilt based on the book "Build your own Sportscar for 250£ and race it". It's a tiny bit bigger than a real lotus 7, and I put a 3.0 V6 in mine. I built it almost entirely out of junkyard parts from probably about 10 different vehicles.
Kristian
I bought a complete chassis and drive train in pieces from a deceased dentist's ex wife who was on the paperwork. Yes their were lawsuits from the family but it's my "Porsche and my pissed offf wife" story for my drinking buddies to repeat.
 
A young woman was hosting a dinner party for her friends and served a delicious pot roast. One of her friends enjoyed it so much that she asked for the recipe, and the young woman wrote it down for her.

Upon looking over the recipe, her friend inquired, “Why do you cut both ends off the roast before it is prepared and put in the pan?” The young woman replied, “I don’t know. I cut the ends off because I learned this recipe from my mom and that was the way she had always done it.”

Her friend’s question got the young woman thinking and so the next day she called her mom to ask her: “Mom, when we make the pot roast, why do we cut off and discard the ends before we set it in the pan and season it?” Her mom quickly replied, “That is how your grandma always did it and I learned the recipe from her.”

Now the young woman was really curious, so she called her elderly grandma and asked her the same question: “Grandma, I often make the pot roast recipe that I learned from mom and she learned from you. Why do you cut the ends off the roast before you prepare it?”

The grandmother thought for a while, since it had been years since she made the roast herself, and then replied, “I cut them off because the roast was always bigger than the pan I had back then. I had to cut the ends off to make it fit.”
 
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Reactions: gigamortis
Had Datsun in college with a clutch that gave up the ghost. I drove it for nearly a year without a clutch.

Parked it facing downhill and used the starter to get it rolling in first gear. Made a LOT of right turns that year.

Gave a guy a ride home from work once. His reaction at the first intersection was "this isn't the way" to which I responded "can't stop, I don't have a clutch". By the time we got to his house he had one hand in a death grip on the jebus handle, one hand on the ceiling, one foot on the dash and I swear he put a dent in the floor with the other foot. People at work never looked at me the same after that.
Had to do the same thing in a ford dually ,was working in Doyle CA. When the pilotshaft bearing seized up , couldn't disconnect the motor from the Trans, drove all the way to Reno Nev. to the nearest Ford dealership with no clutch 70 miles , can't imagine driving for a year without a clutch , but poor folks got poor ways.