This is not my story but it is my favorite cop story.
I was driving home a bit fast and got pulled over by a police officer. I gave him my license and insurance when he asked for it.
A few minutes later, he came back and said, "The reason I pulled you over was for excessive speed. And it figures this would just have to happen near the end of my shift. What is the nature of the emergency?"
I replied, "A few weeks ago, my wife ran off with a cop."
"Oh really?" he replied.
"Yes," I said. "I thought you were him and you were bringing her back to me."
He chuckled and told me to slow down and go home.