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Maggie’s The most interesting sniper in the world...

G

Garvey

Sergeant
Full Member
Minuteman
May 1, 2010
1,831
5,285
Melissa, Texas
Kestrel gets environmental data from him

He doesn't spend money on scopes, because he can see the target without them

Bullet companies send him free bullets, just so they will be fired from his rifle.

He doesn't need a ghillie, if he doesn't want to be seen, he won't be

He doesn't hold for wind, it stops blowing before he shoots

He IS a rangefinder




Get creative here fellers!
 
this is kind of like those "the most infantry man in the world" quotes...
He once led PT, there were no survivors
His stocking is hung by the chimney with care... and foot powder
He didn't go to Ranger School, Ranger School went to him (and got recycled)
He has an actual box of grid squares And the keys to the training area
He is The Most Infantry Man in the World
 
Damn, and here I was thinking your were looking for more ways to describe Chuck Norris
 
I don't always shoot prone but when I do, I stand up.
I don't always use iron sights but when I do, I don't really need them.
I don't always log in to Snipe's Hide but when I do, it is to check out boobie pics.

Stay Snipery my friends....
 
I don't use data cards very often, but when i do it's to wipe my ass
I Don't zero my rifle very often, but when i do I do it at 50 yards
I don't use electronic devices to assist my sniping, but when i do i duct tape a laptop to my armband
As a sniper I dont draw attention to myself very often, but when I do it's because I have both male and female genitalia

stay hidey holed my friends
 
I don't always shoot matches, but when I do I light three at a time . When I shoot prone, I use a women for a shooting mat. I never shoot three shot groups, for they prove nothing. Lowlight comes to me for all his snipery skills. Counter snipers go ahead and kill themselves when I'm around. I don't associate with shankster much, but when I do it's at his Tupperware parties.
 
He once missed a target...and it committed suicide out of respect.

He lubes his rifle with angel tears, when theyre in stock.

Chuck Norris let him borrow his beard for a day...because he needed the range steel

I dont always shoot F-class, but when i do, i go 100-10x's

Stay frosty, my friends
 
Uses his sidearm when the range is less than 400 meters, or there's a tailwind.
 
There is no need for him to adjust the windage on his scope, a simple drop of spit on an upright finger will do...

He went to prison as part of a scared straight program... for the convicts...

The first time Chuck Norris saw him his beard fell out just before he started filming Braddock: Missing in Action...

His grouping is 1 moa at 1000 yards, with 00 buckshot...

George at GAP has him on speed dial when he needs to talk about a potential rifle build...

Dinty Moore cans explode out of respect every time he walks into a supermarket...

Sending him to any country is considered an act of war...

He rode a bull at a rodeo one time... The bull dropped out after the ride due to health concerns...

As a practical joke he enters Iran to put itching powder in the Ayatollah's underwear...

He once infiltrated North Korea to see how the kimchi was on the other side...

There isn't a dictator, despot, or third world warlord that he hasn't had in his sights...

He makes it a point to water ski at every helocast...

He's had so many HALO jumps that he brings an alarm clock to wake him up from his nap, before he pulls open his chute...

For him the pink mist is always a fog...

He doesn't normally drink beer, but given the choice between Dos Equis, and Mexican tap water, he would pick the latter...
 
His mental computations allow for the spin of the Galaxy, it's precession through space, the spin of the earth, it's rotation around the sun and their sidereal motion, as well as the downgrade of Pluto from a planet to a planetoid. Coriolis is for sissies.
He's never missed unless he "meant to do that".
He has never had to change mags, because he is a strict adherent to rule #1. (the gun is ALWAYS loaded).
 
His parallax knobs have hashmarks past infinity.

He frequently sees Bosons through his spotting scope.

The Doomsday Clock jumps back an hour everytime he chambers a round.

His favorite light workout is running 20 miles with Honey Boo Boo's mother on his back.

NASA offered him 20 million for his data book.
 
He doesn't always pistol whip hippies, but when he does, he uses his .45 because he loves America
 
His muzzle brake is quieter than the best suppressor,
he does not pull the trigger,he just thinks that the rifle will fire and it does
Out of respect for him his bullets never foul the bore,
He has not missed a target since he was two, two days old,
He makes his own barrels, Pope learned from him.
 
I heard one time a bullet went around a target and then turned around and hit it from the back because that is where he called his shot.

When he calculates coriolis effect the earth stops.
 
His hair grows out in bangs because he eats his leftover bullets, and never stand at his 6 when he's passing gas.
 
He once fired 2 rounds at a "target".....just to see what it feels like.....
 
Watched a documentary on "noodling" while vacationing in the Keys.
Decided to try it, got 6 morays before lunch...
 
my human host said:
His parallax knobs have hashmarks past infinity.

He frequently sees Bosons through his spotting scope.

The Doomsday Clock jumps back an hour everytime he chambers a round.

His favorite light workout is running 20 miles with Honey Boo Boo's mother on his back.

NASA offered him 20 million for his data book.
Click to expand...

Honey boo boo you owe me a keyboard.
 
showing mercy, he calls in air support to hold HIM back.

prefers to use a blowgun and kbar whittled darts to make it worth his time.

has a 1000 yard stare while sleeping.

has a caddy to tote his drag bag.

tom berenger cleans his pool.

the reason russia didn't make it past cuba is 'cause his FFP was in "the Keys".

phones in proper wind calls in arizona from newark
 
Last edited:
TOP PREDATOR said:
showing mercy, he calls in air support to hold HIM back.

prefers to use a blowgun and kbar whittled darts to make it worth his time.

has a 1000 yard stare while sleeping.

has a caddy to tote his drag bag.

tom berenger cleans his pool.

the reason russia didn't make it past cuba is 'cause his FFP was in "the Keys".

phones in proper wind calls in arizona from newark
Click to expand...

"has a 1000 yard stare while sleeping" is my favorite here! All good stuff!

Keep em coming.
 
His handloads...are used as federal reserve currency.
He once won the Wimbledon Cup...with his Palma rifle.
He's sent rifles back to Tac-Ops...They were honored.
His dandruff makes excellent powder.
He would sweat froglube...if he ever sweated.
 
He has a Ghillie made of chameleon skin...
His 308 has less wind drift than your 6.5
shot 1 moa once... with a LAW rocket
 
The lens of his right eye has a built in FFP crosshair ...
When the Marines need new load data, they look for a copy of his range log...
He one hands a 50cal. ...
He is .. the most interesting sniper in the world.

"Keep shooting my friends"
 
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