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Need advice, Miss Manners

Darayavaus

Renaissance man
Full Member
Minuteman
  • Oct 25, 2019
    5,833
    46,688
    my own private hell
    I am not the world's most tactful person. In fact, I'm pretty sure I offended somebody once by saying hello to them. So maybe one of you 'likeable' schmoes with a nice personality can tell me how you would handle this situation.

    I'm hunting with a guy who is so friggin clueless that he's ruined 2/3 days now because he gets up and starts walking right through the middle of the field right at magic hour when the deer start filtering out of the woods. This dude is like a chihuahua with ADHD. He walks 100 yards away from my stand, climbs up into a tree, changes his mind, climbs down and walks right through the center of the field to another spot. And he thinks that he is final authority in deer hunting, so he will not listen to any of my polite hints that he is Fing up everything out of sheer stupidity.

    Today I got up at 4am, drove an hour and a half, $20 in gas, sat in a tree all day with a bare minimum of movement, watched the deer start to come out at 3.30pm, and then at 4, this dickhead appears over the rise and walks right through the center of everything. the deer scatter and don't come back out until 10 minutes after close. A full day wasted.

    I am as diplomatic as Sam Kinison. What is a tactful way to convince this guy to stop being a cockup before he ruins the entire season at this very good spot? I can't keep him off the property.

    thanks in advance.
     
    Hmmm.

    Im pretty tactful (deal with a lot of women and Dr egos in my work).

    If subtle hints dont work, then be direct. It is possible to be direct and not be a dickhead.

    Tell him that it is clear that he is the Grand Imperial Wizard of deer slaying, that your two approaches are drastically different, and you feel it would be better to hunt apart.
    If he tries to be a dick and say you dont know what your talking about, then go full asshole and tell him how he ruined the deer today snd how his ADHD nonstop movement destroyed the other day too.

    As an aside, I am an active guy who hates to hold still. I can lay still for a long long time waiting for the right shot opportunity as long as the critters are hanging around.
    There is hunting knowledge and douchebaggery. pretty Clear what this guy has.
     
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    like I said, I cant keep him off. It isn't my land. I have no leverage.

    I always thought that even the most stupid of blithering idiots knew better than to walk around in front of other people's tree stands. Especially an hour before friggin dusk. I mean, get your lazy ass out of the house and into the woods before the deer come out, not after. He probably thinks he is so stealthy that the deer dont know he's there. In fact, as soon as the deer turn and stare before taking off, I know to expect his pointy head to start bobbling up over the rise.
     
    A pre hunt team builder big camp breakfast consisting of eggs, bacon, hash browns and a big cup of fresh coffee with a double dose of Rohypnol in it should do the trick.
    Throw some extra wood on the fire next to were you left him drooling in the dirt so he doesn't get to cold and then go enjoy yourself.
    That's the extent of my diplomacy with fuckwits that can't take a hint.
     
    you're a better man than me. I would've been blunt after that last scene. it's coming down to safety now, not just annoyance.


    but freak hunting accidents do happen......
     
    I would ask: What is your strategy when walking through the field during prime hunting time? I am asking the question because when you walk in the field I am hunting, the deer leave and do not come back, what am I missing?

    ^^^ This approach is the winner. Start soft by reminding him he is the best hunter you know, and then ask this. If says something totally clueless, like he doesn't think walking through a field in the late afternoon makes any difference, then request that he not do it since you enjoy watching the deer more than killing a deer and that it is therapeutic and blah blah blah and you can't relax and watch deer if he is scaring them off.
     
    ^^^ This approach is the winner. Start soft by reminding him he is the best hunter you know, and then ask this. If says something totally clueless, like he doesn't think walking through a field in the late afternoon makes any difference, then request that he not do it since you enjoy watching the deer more than killing a deer and that it is therapeutic and blah blah blah and you can't relax and watch deer if he is scaring them off.
    In all situations of life, I found this approach very useful:

    - Identify, validate, and share their goal.
    - Respect their current approach but gently point out the lack of success.
    - Try something else together.

    "Hey, I noticed you are doing ABC. What are you trying to achieve, what is your goal?" Asked in a genuinely curious, non-ironic way.

    Once you know the goals/dreams, follow up with: "Yeah, that would be great to get XYZ. I would totally dig if we get XYZ sooner than later"

    Then a short PAUSE. Pretend that you are searching for a solution.

    And finally: "How about if we try this (your approach) and see where it goes. Here is what WE should do..."

    Don't just tell people what they do wrong, lead them towards success. I have probably pissed off hundreds of people with well-meant advice that they interpreted as condescending criticism. You need to prove first that you are on their side, part of their team.
     
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    Yell "GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY YOU DIPSHIT!" at him. Fuck being nice, shame them for stupidity.
    Sure, that's going to work great if you want to do everything by yourself and be kicked out of someone's hunting lease, business, club, etc. But if that's your goal, you could just save your breath and leave quietly.

    Note: I see the validity of your approach in a boot camp scenario. But that is under completely different circumstances ('dipshit' has signed his life away) and with different goals (break down any illusions of individual competence before you form a cohesive team).
     
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    ...

    Today I got up at 4am, drove an hour and a half, $20 in gas, sat in a tree all day with a bare minimum of movement, watched the deer start to come out at 3.30pm, and then at 4, this dickhead appears over the rise and walks right through the center of everything. the deer scatter and don't come back out until 10 minutes after close. A full day wasted.
    ...

    I have made some comments about the tactful re-education of your buddy/nemesis here.

    Just another practical suggestion: Deer move, feed, move, REST, move, feed... When they rest, typically late morning/early afternoon, you could use the guy to drive them. There is no point of sitting in a tree when the deer are bedded for hours in a different spot.
     
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    If you want meet in the freezer, then... Not going to say if it's for the deer or not.

    1575476454272.png
     
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    I too was going to suggest 'video'. As in, go out again, and set up a camera to film the whole thing. Then, (God Forbid it happens again) show him the video afterwards, and show him "the complete and utter fucking loser who went and screwed up the whole hunting trip for everyone" and see what he thinks about his epicness. And the fact that he will be forever known as the Hunting Idiot who ruins life, because he's going to go viral on the innerwebz.

    I'm pretty sure even the THREAT of such will make him change his ways. Either way, video works!
     
    This is a friend of yours? Public land? Private land owned by a mutual buddy? Lease?

    If the land is public land you are probably SOL. Although, depending on your state, you may be able to report him for harassment while hunting...;)

    If the land is owned by the guy, you are SOL.

    If you are mutual friends with the owner and are hunting the land "gratis," try to get an invite when the other guy isn't going to be there.

    If it is a lease, don't send him the bill for next year. Find another guy or eat the difference.

    If this is a friend of yours, tell him he's a dip shit and you're filling your tag the next time you're out- whether the game walks on 4 legs or 2.
     
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    Follow him home from a distance. Wash four 10p or 8p nails with WD40, or other lube(dis soap works). Place al four under the rear of each tire so that they puncture as he reverses out of the driveway. Since you paid cash or the box and there is no record of you buying it, make sure it is void of your prints etc, then place the 'spilled box by his driveway. You'll have a clear morning to hunt as you roll away from the scene since he leaves AFTER you do.
     
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    Bust a couple quick rounds off while he's in the middle of the field, in a safe direction of course. Climb down out of your stand and run to him yelling "Are you alright? Are you alright? Good God, I thought I shot you! You almost got yourself killed walking out like that!" He'll think you're the most dangerous hunter on the planet, and will never want to hunt with you again. Problem solved. Or, he may want to whoop your ass.
    default_segrin.gif
     
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    Become independent.
    I got fucking tired of being invited to hunting places and decided to start getting my own leases a few years back. Now I'm starting to get tired with some of the BS some landowners come up with, so I'm working on buying my own land.

    The world is your oyster. Do what you have to in order to fulfill your hobbies, etc. If you truly enjoy hunting and the outdoors, it will be worth it.
     
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    Become independent.
    I got fucking tired of being invited to hunting places and decided to start getting my own leases a few years back. Now I'm starting to get tired with some of the BS some landowners come up with, so I'm working on buying my own land.

    The world is your oyster. Do what you have to in order to fulfill your hobbies, etc. If you truly enjoy hunting and the outdoors, it will be worth it.

    good luck buying your own land. I bought a big chunk of land once, about 4 hrs from my house. Even though I heavily posted it that summer, the evening before hunting season I drove by and there were two people on it. The previous owner had invited them, and a whole group of others who were staying at his house. He seemed genuinely surprised when I threw their asses off and had a heart to heart talk with him about the implications of taking money to hand over a deed - ie, it's no longer yours, dickhead.

    For the next few years it was quiet and we shot a few buck in the 130's and 140's. It was nice. Lot of phony assholes pretending they wanted to be friends with me around hunting season. But hey, I was generous and took a number of people, and let them shoot nice deer.

    Then I guess word got out. All the hick neighbors decided that they wanted to hunt my land when I wasn't there. They poached, cut down trees, fished, ran 4 wheelers, and generally trespassed every moment I was not there. This went on for a couple years until I finally called it quits. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them, and that area was at it's asshole carrying capacity. It was high time for starvation, predation, or disease to thin out the inbred human animals in that neighborhood, but I didn't want to be around to see it. So I sold it before the problems really blew up.

    So yeah, I hope your experience with dropping a ton of money on hunting land turns out better than mine did.
     
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    So I havent read every post, but..

    Have you tried simply talking to him? Explain the situation and how his movements are counterproductive?

    IMO, as long as your not a complete dick - then how he takes it is how he takes it.

    As far as tact, keep a low tone to your voice (higher tones denote emotion), use logic and specific examples to illustrate your point (men are visual creatures and respond well to visual representations). This way he will realize there is no need for an emotional response. And likely will respond with the same demeanor.
     
    good luck buying your own land. I bought a big chunk of land once, about 4 hrs from my house. Even though I heavily posted it that summer, the evening before hunting season I drove by and there were two people on it. The previous owner had invited them, and a whole group of others who were staying at his house. He seemed genuinely surprised when I threw their asses off and had a heart to heart talk with him about the implications of taking money to hand over a deed - ie, it's no longer yours, dickhead.

    For the next few years it was quiet and we shot a few buck in the 130's and 140's. It was nice. Lot of phony assholes pretending they wanted to be friends with me around hunting season. But hey, I was generous and took a number of people, and let them shoot nice deer.

    Then I guess word got out. All the hick neighbors decided that they wanted to hunt my land when I wasn't there. They poached, cut down trees, fished, ran 4 wheelers, and generally trespassed every moment I was not there. This went on for a couple years until I finally called it quits. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them, and that area was at it's asshole carrying capacity. It was high time for starvation, predation, or disease to thin out the inbred human animals in that neighborhood, but I didn't want to be around to see it. So I sold it before the problems really blew up.

    So yeah, I hope your experience with dropping a ton of money on hunting land turns out better than mine did.


    Yeah no, I'll make sure, when I own land, to keep that from happening to me. Sorry to hear about your experience though.
     
    First, let your annoyance build to anger, hold it in and stew on it until it builds into a good ole righteous rage....then, and only then.............wait, no that isn't right. I dunno dude, that's all I got.
     
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    fires happen all the time on camping trips just one little ember could end your misery a tree falls in the woods all the time . ??
    sleeping pills he stays asleep till after you get your deer that or get up even earlier . though these posts could be used agents you in a court so its not nice to hurt people even if they deserve it or need it .
     
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    If you're good friends, you should be able to tell him in a very direct way that he's a dumbass when it comes to hunting and he's not only fucking his own hunt, he's ruining your too. If you're not good enough friends for that, tell him anyway.
     
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    So do any of you guys lease land for hunting? If so, do you recommend it?
    What part of the country are you from? Man if you can find land that isn't a cattle ranch or even more important an active timber management program it can be great. I have a buddy from SC the deer on his wall from the lease there.......goodness beasts wasn't even a high fence and could't hunt over corn. The place was a bag your own grocery shooting gallery. BUT it was all private, no livestock and no timber management. They also have a massive doe management program basically if you see a doe in the early months drop it where it stands and leave the young bucks alone. Your friend walking around would have been given his check back and shown the gate on episode 1 of 'sunset walkabout'.
     
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    Around here, timber company land makes a good lease. It's the most popular in my area, but I think GA does have more private timber acreage than any other State.