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Maggie’s Socially UNacceptable Humor

How is serving in the military the same as a blowjob?

The closer you get to discharge the better you feel.
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Here's a conversation me and @EddieNFL had recently:

Me: How many eyes does a black rooster have?
Eddie: Two
Me: How many wings does a black rooster have?
Eddie: Two
Me: How many legs does a black rooster have?
Eddie: Two
Me: How many whiskers does a white kitten have?
Eddie: I don't know
Me: So you know all about black cock, but nothing about white pussy?
 
Hahahaha... There isn't any red blooded man who would say no, if it was in the room, and nobody was gonna find out. Fess up, you posers!

That right there is a FleshLight with a pulse!

I have a friend, age 40, and a low achiever.

He is terrified by midgets. As in leaving a store immediately if he sees one, and is visibly afraid.

To reiterate hes lived on earth for 4 decades. Still rents a rent controlled apartment and delivers pizza. Takes side streets to get fast food without being pulled over by cops. No checking account.
 
I have a friend, age 40, and a low achiever.

He is terrified by midgets. As in leaving a store immediately if he sees one, and is visibly afraid.

To reiterate hes lived on earth for 4 decades. Still rents a rent controlled apartment and delivers pizza. Takes side streets to get fast food without being pulled over by cops. No checking account.
Did you wonder to yourself why you are friends as you typed that?
 
We are friends on paper. When we were 30 and waiting in the or waiting room for my moms cancer surgery he was mad I wouldnt take him to get chicken nuggets.

I just typed that out.

That kind of faggot is scared of midgets.
Wow, unless you are a "Big Brother", or special education instructor...