Maggie’s Funny & awesome pics, vids and memes thread (work safe, no nudity)
- Thread starter Lawless
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The fat faced Vance pics get me everytime!
He looks like chucky.
I'm semi okay with roaches until they fly. If one flies in my direction, don't get between me and wherever I'm going.We had one come into the shop (probably 25 years ago) that was like that but full front to back. The car was a Cavalier and there was a recall on heater core replacement. I had done so many that I could do them in 35-40 minutes and the warranty pay was 3 hours. I had a deal with the advisor to give them to me.
I started on this one after throwing the trash far enough out of the passenger floor to try and get it done. I saw movement and focused on a real deal German cockroach.
Anyone who knows me knows I can not be in the same zipcode as a roach.
After the comedy that ensued with me un-assing the car….we told the customer we would not be doing the recall until the car was detailed and critter free.
It never came back
Last night as a matter of fact.
Windows down, cool night air.
Last task before leaving was cleaning up a dude with 2-4 days of diarrhea on him.
Not able to get up and MH issues (doesnt trust anyone) prevented him from calling 911.
Took me about 30 min to scrub it off.
I did turn on the radio after about 15 min.
Th3 DJ was talking and this song came on about 20 seconds after I turned it on.
A great song before bed
I'll open with a pair of Suzanne Pleshettes.
Look where steering wheel is. Someone got lucky as fuck
We need a four-of-a-kind to scrub that POS from our brains. Catherine DeNeuve with Crystal Gayle for the kicker.
Even though it was my post, I cant disagree.
She walked into the ballroom in a gorgeous gown, not a hair on her head—and then all the lights came to the door, where Peyton Manning had just appeared with a warm kiss and a whisper: “You are the star of the night.”
Her name was Lila.
16 years old.
Diagnosed with cancer just four months before prom.
She lost her hair after the second round of chemo.
Lost some friends after the third.
But never lost her courage.
Lila still decided to attend prom.
No wig. No hat.
Just a silver gown, a little lip gloss… and raw bravery.
She arrived alone.
And when she walked in, whispers followed.
Some stared.
Some turned away.
But Lila smiled anyway.
She had told her mom that morning:
“I’m not going to hide.
I want to feel beautiful… if only for one night.”
What she didn’t know?
Someone else had heard her story.
A retired quarterback.
A father.
A man who knew what real strength looked like.
As the music played, the DJ paused.
“We’ve got a very special guest tonight…”
And then—
Peyton Manning walked into the gym.
The room went silent.
He didn’t wave to the crowd.
He walked straight to Lila.
“Miss Lila,” he said gently,
“I was wondering if I could have this dance?”
She gasped.
Her hands shook.
But Peyton offered his arm with a warm smile—like this moment had been planned forever.
They danced slowly.
No phones. No spotlight.
Just the soft sound of music… and the power of being seen.
At the end, Peyton leaned in and whispered:
“You’re not missing anything.
They’re lucky just to be in the same room as you.”
Later that night, tucked into her bouquet of flowers,
Lila found a handwritten note:
“The strongest people don’t wear helmets.
They wear hope.
— Peyton”
Because sometimes, heroes don’t arrive with fanfare.
They walk in quietly…
And remind someone they’re already enough.
Her name was Lila.
16 years old.
Diagnosed with cancer just four months before prom.
She lost her hair after the second round of chemo.
Lost some friends after the third.
But never lost her courage.
Lila still decided to attend prom.
No wig. No hat.
Just a silver gown, a little lip gloss… and raw bravery.
She arrived alone.
And when she walked in, whispers followed.
Some stared.
Some turned away.
But Lila smiled anyway.
She had told her mom that morning:
“I’m not going to hide.
I want to feel beautiful… if only for one night.”
What she didn’t know?
Someone else had heard her story.
A retired quarterback.
A father.
A man who knew what real strength looked like.
As the music played, the DJ paused.
“We’ve got a very special guest tonight…”
And then—
Peyton Manning walked into the gym.
The room went silent.
He didn’t wave to the crowd.
He walked straight to Lila.
“Miss Lila,” he said gently,
“I was wondering if I could have this dance?”
She gasped.
Her hands shook.
But Peyton offered his arm with a warm smile—like this moment had been planned forever.
They danced slowly.
No phones. No spotlight.
Just the soft sound of music… and the power of being seen.
At the end, Peyton leaned in and whispered:
“You’re not missing anything.
They’re lucky just to be in the same room as you.”
Later that night, tucked into her bouquet of flowers,
Lila found a handwritten note:
“The strongest people don’t wear helmets.
They wear hope.
— Peyton”
They walk in quietly…
And remind someone they’re already enough.
They don’t all get lucky. A couple decades ago, a woman with her kids in the car was crossing the Pit River bridge on 299, near the Hat Creek bridge, at the same time as a big rig carrying a poorly secured load of plywood. I don’t remember exactly how it happed, but the denouement was that a sheet of plywood came through the windshield and decapitated her in front of those little kids. Never heard the outcome of the case.
Man, can I relate. Start of the shift, as a new orderly on the ortho ward, after ets’ing in 1969. Walked into a 4 bed ward, and a patient id worked with before, say, “ Hey, you better check that guy.” In the far corner, an old guy who’d had a hip replacement that night before and was pretty much out of it ( nursing home patient), had filled his bed with liquid stool. The sheets were neatly pulled up to his chin. I lifted the sheet, and he was like a half submerged boat, with a line all the way from his ears to his feet. I looked over at the guy who warned me, and he said, happened about half houtafo, maybe an hour. I called for the nurse. She took one look, looked at her watch, pulled the sheets tight, and blew out of here.”
Beginning of the shift. I got the worst of it taken care of, while I had nurses and PT, come get the other 3 guys out of there. Then two nurses came and helped me get the guy onto a type of Stryker frame used to bathe paralyzed people, and wheeled him into the shower. We got him cleaned up, the maintenance guy cleaned up the rest of the bed, and we put him back in. He never knew what we were doing, far as I could tell. We opened the window, to air the place out, sprayed it heavily.
I talked to the charge nurse, wrote it all up and was taken to the director. Two people got fired. 2 hours into my shift. I was in no mood that day.
Added: this was when we all wore whites!
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